Turning a new leaf?
Current mood: accomplished

It's surprising how much I've changed just over the past couple of months. I've certainly moved away from my comfort zone in more than one way.

Towards the end of my run earlier this evening, I was feeling good because it was the first time I didn't stop to walk at any point. It was the 5th time I've been out running and I know it's not much, but I felt pretty good about that. So, there I was, struggling, but happy, and I found myself thinking how much JH has influenced the things I do now, and in some ways, who I've become.

First off, my very first bike ride for the year was with JH and SG - both exercise addicts. No clue what possessed me to do that. Having been in embarrassingly bad shape, I started biking a lot more and a lot harder to be able to one day bike along with them. I probably will never be able to really bike 'along' with them, but already, I'm a much stronger biker now than I was even by the end of last year.

Then, during one of our game nights, he casually mentioned how all of my friends in town seemed to be from work, or people I met through people from work. Friends I've told about it think it was a weird comment, but I didn't take any offense at it. I just felt like I needed to do something to fix it. Well, that's how I ended up becoming friends with Catherine and Eric, and also indirectly, Alan. And only just because it went so well with them, I'm now thinking that meeting new people can actually be fun and I find myself more open to that. I still get my little anxiety attacks right before parties or get-togethers, and stuff, but I think I've found a better way of ignoring it or moving past it. At the very least, now I actually go to parties and get-togethers. Big difference from a year ago.

Lastly, when I told him I was wanting to race by the end of the summer, he told me about the one on the 4th of July. That is the only reason I am running now. I had been wanting to get into running since, oh, Boston days, and I never tried as hard, which explains why it never went anywhere. Actually, I never tried, period. (Of course, now, I've got GS to thank too, because he went out with me at the start and kept pushing me to do harder. Also, Catherine, for saying she'll do the race with me.)

The thing is, I'm not even really good friends with JH, partly because he's pretty aloof, and also because I've been scared of him for a whole year. I had the worst interview with him so whenever I talk to him, I was always thinking "Oh, this guy knows I'm actually an idiot". I still wonder why I even got in.

I think it's so amazing how a random person, who was almost a total stranger to me, could change so much about me. The best part is, I like who I am now, and I sure like the way I feel now that I'm out doing more stuff. So, he'll never read this, but thanks, JH.

8:22 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Still here
Current mood: bored

Wow, I can't believe this is actually working. I know I'll be stating the obvious, but Myspace sucks. I wish there I had a better word for 'sucks', but I can't think of one right now.

Anyway, this one's for TB, who's been complaining about the lack of activity in my Myspace blog, especially since he's got a link to this one on his own blog. Sorry, dude, but I hate Myspace. Plus, lately, I haven't had anything to say that I had to filter from my mom anyway, and that's all this blog is for really.

So there. New post.

2:58 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Atlanta pictures!!!

I'm posting it here because I didn't tell my parents I flew to Atlanta. Check them out, they're pretty cool!

http://s87801731.onlinehome.us/pics/Atlanta/2005_06_10_Atlanta.html

6:14 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

cyber friends?

Ick. I'm tempted to start replying to some emails I've received on myspace. I actually replied to one, but it was about Travis - the band. Of course I'll talk about music. Otherwise, I just feel bad that I might be coming off as a snob when some of the folks actually sound nice. I hate that. Ugh. I hate it more that it matters to me since they're not even people I know. Oh well. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. We'll shall see. 

6:43 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I'm such a girl

I got so upset with my Eastern European coworker yesterday because I was so frustrated after working with him for I think close to 2 months now. I was upset with myself too because I absolutely cannot communicate what I feel or why I feel when I'm upset. Here's how it went:

*some discussion*
EE: "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"
Me: (close to tears) *stretch to fight back the tears* "I don't know, it was just a suggestion." *throw hands up* "Whatever." *storm out of his cubicle*

I was about to cry in frustration and I didn't want to say goodbye to him, so I called up my sister and started talking to her in our language. I never call anybody from work unless it's an emergency or if I do, I go outside and to make the call. But I wanted to walk out of work without making a big deal out of it. Hopefully he didn't see me wiping my eyes when I was walking out on the way to the parking lot and I hope he didn't hear my voice cracking when I was talking to my sister. When I got to the parking lot and my sister was making me tell her what happened, I completely broke down and cried. Of course, being that I was talking to my sister, we were laughing at the stupidity of it all too.

I hate being a girl. I hate being timid. I hate not being able to say what I really want to say when I'm upset. I hate hormones. I hate cultural differences.

I did get an apology from him (email), and good thing he's on vacation today. He's not a bad person, but he can really make people feel like what they say/think don't matter.

Also, I was fighting the urge to tell someone at work to get sympathy pats or something. Everyone already has their own opinion about him, so I didn't want to add to that. I was able to hold my tongue until 9:45 when I gave in to the urge and told two of my co-worker/friends. The other guy didn't ask for any details, but the other actually wanted to talk to me. So some time later, we took a walk around the building and we talked about frustrations. I only had the ones from working with Mr. EE, but he's had quite a few, from almost 2 years back. Anyway, it was nice to both listen and be listened to, especially since it involved people we both worked with.

Later on, when we got back to our desks, I got an email saying, "Thanks for the talk. My door's always open if you ever need someone to listen. Your friend and teammate, ----" He's such a sweetheart.

Then at lunch time, I went to my weekly driving-range trip with CL. First time with an iron. But I made a few of those fly. My farthest one must've reached about 80! Yeah, yeah, the nearest marker is 100, but I'm still focusing on my nice and easy swing instead of power.

6:31 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Funny picture
Current mood: sleepy

Check out the new picture I added!!! It was taken last summer at the Cloisters in NYC. I was making a face, but my sister's saying I was just intensely eating my sandwich. It was good, but it wasn't THAT good. Geez. I think it's funny. Maybe I should make that my primary picture to turn off people who send messages like:

"I like you, let's chat"

"Wanna get to know ya"

"Hi, I live in P-t--b-r--gh"

Hahahaha... I'm gonna be an old maid.

8:29 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I hate New Yorkers

So I went to New York to help my sister move. I was pleased that she had already done all the packing and all we had to do was move it from her old apartment to the new one. Our old friends from home were goin to help use move. By 2pm, they arrived, and we had everything loaded withint 15 minutes. We drive over to her new apartment, ring the bell and wait. My sister calls her new roommate and get nothing. After waiting for 15 minutes, we decided to leave, go shop for furniture, and come back later. By 4:00, after seeing all we had of the furniture stores, and after a billion phone call tries to her new roommate, my sister and I decided to try ringing the bell again and getting the land lady to open the door for us. Keep in mind, it was pouring rain too. By the time we walked the 8 blocks, we were both already wet. My jeans were wet to my thighs. We still couldn't come in, although someone was nice enough to try knocking on the door of my sister's new apartment, and the landlady's too. Not being able to reach her roommate, we decided to walk to our friend's apartment, about another 8 blocks away. When we got there, my sister kept trying to call. Finally, the lady picks up and gets mad at my sister for making her wait in the apartment the whole afternoon, saying that my sister should've told her the time and that my sister should've called. WTF?!?! Not wanting to start their time together on a bad note, my sister didn't argue.

So we get there and move her stuff. It was still raining, so moving was a pain. The lady kept making excuses about being in her room the whole afternoon, sleeping. At one point, her phone rings. It was loud. We could hear it all the way downstairs. No way she could've slept through that. Liar.

I thought we were done, but she called the landlady so that my sister can fill up the form. I'm not even going to try to describe the landlady and her husband. I'll just say that my sister said she's never been so insulted in her life. They interrogated us and asked my sister for CREDENTIALS. Credentials? I said. Do you want her diploma? Then the man asked if the phone number was Myra's. She said, 'No, that's my cellphone'. My sister's number is down there. 'But it's Myra's, not yours, right?', he says. I said, 'No, it's hers. Why don't you try calling her?'. He said, 'But it's under your name.' Then, we tried explaining that she pays the bills and we just never had the time to transfer it to her name. Has anyone ever tried that? It's such a pain! Especially for two people living in different states. He says, 'No, it's no big deal. I just wanted to see if she would catch it because she's a lawyer.' He laughs, but we didn't get the joke.

So, we leave satisfied that it was over, although we all hated the landlady and her husband. On the way to dinner, my sister's roommate calls. She said that the landlord called her up and told her that my sister can't stay there. WTF?!?!?! After we had moved?!?!?! After they had met with us, they waited 5 minutes to tell us my sister couldn't stay there?

Their reasons? A. We were lying about the phone (DUDE!!!!) B. We were going to be trouble because my sister hadn't paid her deposit yet. - The only reason she hadn't paid her deposit yet is because she and her 'roommate' had already settled on payment for next week, when she officially moves in.

My sister calls the landlord and asks him why he didn't have the balls to call her himself. She finds out that he had already made a decision before even meeting her, having researched the phone number after my sister tried calling them. So why did he make her go through that trouble? He didn't want to embarrass my sister in front of her friends. DUDE!!!! He knew our friends were going to find out because they helped us move and they would have to help us get the stuff back! Balls, man. He didn't have them.

So we go back to the apartment to pick up the stuff. My sister was in the other car, which came 10 minutes after we did. So we were talking to her apologizing roommate. We find out that my sister is the 3rd person they rejected! Why didn't she tell us these people were screening?!?! Why didn't she tell us we should give her a deposit?!?! Why did she let us move in when she knew it wasn't final?!?! Because she's a LIAR. She really made me upset when she justified their reasons for calling me and my sister liars and for not giving her a deposit. WTF?!?!

Whatever. My sister has better prospects now. That apartment wasn't all that great anyway. You can't even touch the walls because they're painted by a real artist and would have to pay $1000 if you scratch it. Shite.

I'm glad my sister didn't move into that dump. I've never been that angry for a long time. We were both up until 3am still b*tching about how screwed up those people are.

On the good side. True friends are hard to find and we've got them. Tin, Jay and Colet all offered to house my sister after the 15th in the case that she hasn't found an apartment yet. Half her stuff are already in Tin's room. This all while they're already housing all of Colet's family because she's having a baby in May. So they welcomed my sister into their already full house. That's something.

7:57 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Invites
Current mood: flattered

Man, I once checked out Match.com to see if I could get lucky and meet somebody online. But I got 2 invites today and I think I want to keep this among my friends. I'm sure they're probably nice people, but still. No thanks. Now if only I could get to those friends. I'm not interested in dating strangers. Or even dating at all. Well, maybe I would be if I met the right person. But I'd have to know them first. It's a catch-22, but it's worked before, so I don't know, maybe something will happen.

6:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I've got 3 friends!

Yay!!! hahaha... Well, technically, I have 2. Tom's friends with everybody, so it doesn't count. Hey Tom, how you doin?

I already have a blog, but that gets censored, so maybe I can write secret stuff here. ooohhhh.... You know, like work complaints and junk.

Work's great these days though, but MSDN SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! I hate that junk. I was reading a about localization and resource packaging for half a day and couldn't make it work. Finally, I found a site that had a one-page how-to. And bam, my strings were in German. Well, Tagalog, because I can't speak German. I still have to figure out the packaging tomorrow though. Man.

8:24 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

My blog

D's Deeds

9:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment