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My Mannequin's Too Bootylicious

Well, it's been a while!  I'm frankly drowning in boxes here, and cursing myself for being something of a packrat.  I'm trying not to let the stress get to me too much.  I frankly won't miss Glendale/Ridgewood too much.  I had to call the cops on the neighbors the other day (they were beating the crap out of each other right out in the street)!

But, you know, it's been home for seven years now, and other than developing a serious case of QUEENTS (Queens Townie Syndrome - it's when it becomes a near-impossiblity to leave the borough) I'm none the worse for wear. 

So come with me, if you will, you view some of the lesser-known sights of Glendale/Ridgewood.  OK, well, not so much sights as pictures of random crap I took with my phone.



There's only actually one nice clothing store on Myrtle Avenue, and this ain't it.  This is one of the dozens of low-quality  slightly slutty clothing for the outer-borough hoochie set.  What sets these stores really apart is their almost universal use of the "Bootykin," a mannequin with a large rear-end (and as you can see, hands but no heads). 

I'm frankly fascinated by Bootykins.  They're not really a call to arms for the bigger girls, as the rest of the mannequin itself is still slender, but you can't help being drawn to the big butts on these things.

If you are interested in further Bootykin reading, click here for a good article.

My neighborhood sometimes feels like an Eastern European village, and sure you could use the stores or grocieries as evidence of this, but perhaps the best examples are the slightly creepy non-Disney Disney stuff:



This "Mickey" can be found lurking in front of a Taco Bell.  I'm not certain what Mickey is up to, and I think he's holding a ball, but his spinal deformation suggests that Mickey is heritage to some horrible ecological disaster, perhaps Chernobyl.  I'm glad Mickey was able to come over the the USA for what is no doubt a better health care system, but it's sad that he hs to pay for it by making a living as ignoble as this.  It's good he's able to keep his chin up.  ( to add to the Iron Curtain flavor, note the lady in the babushka.)

Mickey's not alone on Myrtle, as several of his not-quite Disney knockoff pals have joined him:


I guess this is supposed to be Donald Duck.  Poor "Donald's" had a rough life since emigrating, as he's clearly developed a nasty case of Hepatitis B.  As, would I suspect, anyone who rode on this thing.

 
Well, here they are together again!  This is actually another cheap clothing store further up the street.  Note Mickey's pinprick pupils (it's the same model as above, but a different painjob).  This Donald is slightly less horrible, like he was just recently recruited into the dark underbelly of pimping himself for the Amusement of "Aardvark."  You know it's only a matter of time before he's as rough as the other Donald above.

 

There's nothing sadder than caged carts...you can tell they are yearning to be free-range carts - to cavort with their cart kind, beautiful and free in a parking lot somewhere. 

But instead, they're vealed into these little corralls...man I'm depressed now.



Man I love this store front.  This is a meat market of unidentifiable Old World descent that lurks under the train overpass, like a little Hungarian troll.  I had to decide whether to get a full shot or the detailed one, as here.  Basically, the entire window shows pigs happily submitting to various stages of cookery.  The one pictures here is smiling as he turns on a spit, joyfully contemplating which kind of processed product he will become.  Will it be the salami?  The sandwich??? Coldcuts?

(heh, and if you look closely, you can see the reflection of me taking the photo).

The motto on the window reads "We Bring Old World Flavor to You."

Well, that's it!  Thanks alot, guys.  Talk to you all really soon.

Currently reading : Saint Leibowitz and the Wild Horse Woman By Walter Miller Release date: 11 January, 2000

11:09 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Good-bye, Grover's Corners

I have some big news for you all over the blogosphere...I'm moving out of my beloved New York City...to...

Connecticut.



AYEEEEEE!!!!!

Dr. Pete accepted a job at the University of Hartford in Hartford, Connecticut, so I am going to the 'burbs.  Goddammit.

I'm excited about the new adventure, and it will be nice to have a washer/dryer like a real live human being as opposed to going down to the river to beat my laundry on the rocks. 

We'll be relocating in late July, just enough time for me to have a few kick-ass parties, to celebrate my 33rd here in NYC.

So, good bye Crazy Glendale...goodbye one armed guy named Joe, goodbye family of little people, goodbye unleashed pitbull, goodbye dude who dresses up in a SS unifor, goodbye street so effed up they called in a reality TV show...

6:40 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

A History of the Present

I've been posting this on Newshounds...but here is my History of the Present, Gore as the Commander in Chief.  Enjoy.

It has been a nice six years, hasn't it? We find ourselves in the midterms, happy but not foolish- 9/11 changed us all. Remember those first days? We were afraid but President Gore - on a plane after the first hit, and on the airwaves right after that - came back to Washington from his global warming conference immediately. Do you remember those first days? He promised the towers would be rebuilt, and now we New Yorkers, these 5 years later, can see the construction riding high in the sky. It's amazing.

We mourn our dead, but we know they honor the buildings we put in the old building places. We as a city are unafraid.

After 9/11. We were all scared in those days but understood that was where the vast majority of hijackers came from. We were angry, and wanted retaliation. Several Muslims were harassed in the areas around Manhattan. Right after 9/11 happened, President Gore gave a press conference that we were all hungering for. I will remmeber it for as long as I live. He had been going back and forth between New York and DC, since before the Towers collapsed! I couldn't believe he had the energy to do it, but he gave this speech:

"We've been attacked today, by men who will not shake us. Our nation mourns, and we mourn together. The aim of terrorism is to destroy our ideals, the rights on which our country was founded. This will not happen. We WILL avenge our dead. We will not stop until we catch, prosecute or kill the people responsible for this, and we WILL secure our borders to make certain this does not happen again. And it will not stop. We are a sacred covenant, and by the people and for the people, we shall not vanish from this Earth."

President Gore's speech went beyond that, but that is the part that people remember.

There was a great deal of civil unrest when we took Afghanistan. Gore, who was in Vietnam but not a combatant, was widely viewed as being unready for the job as Commander in Chief. Even the people closely alligned with him were concerned that innocents would lose their lives. As history has proven, however, his Afghanistan Reconstruction Project has proven to be the incredibly innovative, and Gore vindicated by wize use of American forces. Praised, especially, was his non-partisan appeal to experts. Manu say this staved a bigger war which America was unready for. Afghani Ambassador Jimmy Carter had been especialy proactive in the process, and he is so absorbed in his work it is almost like he had not noticed that he was again awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for his ingenous and unheard of methods of house and sewer builing.

Afghanistan was a great example of nation building. The people there were hungry for change, and we poured many dollars into the infrastructure. We opened exchange programs. President Carter started an Alternate Spring Break Program to rebuld homes and schools. We mourn his passing, at the hands of snipers. As you all recall, they were caught, tried and now reside with life terms in a military prison. It was an unpopular decision, but most agree President Carter would have wanted it that way. Astonishingly, President George Herbert Walker Bush arrived the day after the assasination, and has now been appointed the president of Habitat for Humanity.



Perhaps the most stunning change was the Universal Suffrage Act of 2001. America, stunned by massive voter fraud, notably in Ohio and Florida, and the overwhelming evidence of voter machine tampering, President Gore proposed sweeping legislation to not only institute but fund safe and effective voting. A modest increase in taxes to only the most wealthy Americans, combined with a fraction of the record Clinton Surplus, as well as a redirection from useless pork-barrel projects (rememeber that ludicrous "Bridge to Nowhere?") funded this undertaking.

While voting methods are traditionally reserved to the states, President Gore took a page from highway funding, "persuading" states to comply to the more stringent methods. The voting populace, angered by the massive fraud perpetrated by many Republicans in the 2000 election, and newly awakened to the possibility that the rightfully elected president could be denied the office we hired him for, pressured the states to elect those measures.

Diebold was shuttered after the fiasco, and its officers were prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

A think tank of the brightest met together over a period of months and came up with the proposal that became the Universal Suffrage Act.

First, the Act proposed that no private firms could manufacture voting machines, and under no circumstances could any one making a voting machine profit. In effect, manufacturing machines has become a non-profit activity. Second, the Act assured that there were no more elctronic voting machines. While we all realize this would be a massive undertaking, the program was well-funded and went rather smoothly. The public understood that the risks of electronic voting was just too great, as the testimony of the Diebold officers and employees proved.

Third, the act assured that no one who was in charge of verifying a vote could have a Conflict of Interest. The newly designated Office of Verification is a state office, elected on a bipartisan basis subject to oversight by Congress and the courts.

I suppose an imporant thing to rememberis how close we came to having a "President" Bush! What a powderkeg that situation was, one that disgraced Fox News and led to the eventual jailing of Rupert Murdoch for voter fraud. When Fox News announced George Bush as the winner in Florida late in the evening of election night, several other news channels were sorely tempted to follow. However, they resisted as it was just too close to count, and as the days wore on, Fox looked more and more foolish jumping the gun. Gore was declared the presumptive winner, but cautioned the public to "wait until all the votes were counted." Both he and Bush asked for a complete recount of Florida, and in the calm that followed, the results showed Gore with a distinct lead. One exception of note was a riot performed by bussed-in, professional rioters at one poll counting area. One Jeff Gannon, aka Guckert, was arrested and subsequently prosecuted for assault and battery. In the meantime, the main stream media uncovered the pervasive incidences of voter fraud inevitably favorine Bush, and the public opinion began to coalesce around Gore as the winner of the election. Several Fox News employees came forward and claimed that Murdoch intended to use his news empire to swing the election in Bush's favor by announcing him as the winner. Further investigation uncovered a cabal of sorts between Murdoch and Diebold, with Fox News recieving monetary benefit from Diebold as per the agreement to supress any news stories concerning the machines' unreliability and hackability.

Cowed, the Bush camp chose not to seek certiori from the Supreme Court. Bush retired to his ranch in Crawford, Texas. Because of the urging from his wife and father, George Bush attemted to conquer his fear of horses, and was subsequently thrown not long after. Wheel-chair bound, he now tours on behalf of stem-cell and other scientific research.




One of the most important things Presiednt Gore has accomplished in his six years as president is the radical rehauling of our environmental policy.

One of his first actions was to sign Kyoto. Several big businesses had a fit over that, saying we would spiral into financial downfall. But, as you all know, it never happened. Many cities looked at the Portland Model, which of course wasn't perfect but a step in the right direction. Cities were encouraged to be flexible, and small businesses were given tax breaks and subsidies to enact creative solutions to energy problems. One idea that took hold wasx the redirecting of exhaust heat from restaraunt ovens into their water systems, thereby heating water for free with energy that would otherwise be lost to the atmosphere.

Car manufacturers were given tax incventives to produce smaller, alternative energy cars, and cosumers embraced these vehicles. Municipalities and official government vehicles were all converted to alternative energy cars.

Willie Nelson, suprisingly, rose to the forefront of this innovation with his WillieFuel company. Sure, some complained that the air smalled a little more like french fries in those days, but as others pointed out, that was infinitely better than the exhaust we had been breating in before.

With the massive restructuring of the budget, Congress found that it was able to allocate a huge chunck of the budget to public transportations. Cities were able to offer free public within their borders.

While naysayers had claimed this restructuring would cause economies to collapse, suprisingly quite the opposite happened - with cities spending less on power, energy and resources, and finiding they were receiving more tourism and other hidden benefits, economies thrived.

After the Northeast Blackout of 2003, it became more clear than ever that something had to be done about our aging power infrastructure, largely ignored by most policy-makers. We took the oppourtunity to un-privatize the grid, taking it out of the hands of the corrupt companues, such as Enron, who generated vast profits for themselves by fleecing the populace. The people were enraged to discover that high energy costs and blackouts/brownouts had been created by these companies to push up profits. Cities turned to a much greater usage of alternative energies, such as solar power.

The solar power industry boomed, and moved manufacturing into many areas that had suffered due to the decline in American manufaturing in the 80s. Windmill production plants also moved into these areas, as well as a cadre of other enviro-friendly product plants, and places that had been suffering like Detroit became vibrant manufacturers once again, with good, blue-collar jobs. Homeowners were given incentives and tax breaks to equip their residences with solar panelling and sod roofs. New building codes were enacted in municipalies to coply with strict environmental regulations. Many people grumbled that this would make building more expensive, but learned that, in the long run, so much money was saved that it was quite worth it.

Now, Katrina. After President Gore became the first sitting president to ever win an Oscar for his film, An Inconvenient Truth (2002), people became aware of the dangers of increased environmental degredation and the harmful side effects. One of the most dangerous was mega-hurricane activity. The wetlands of America were well on their way to healing under the Wetland Rehabilitation and Protection Act of 2001, but we were also concerned about our crumbling infrastructure. President Gore was, of course, leading the way to convince Congress to listen to the Army Corps of Engineers. FEMA director, the hugely popular and incredibly effective James Lee Witt, was a champion of this cause. Mr. Lee Witt hired a Dutch team to oversee the reconstruction of the worst of the levee systems, as well as contructing massive off-shore levees.

When we saw the storm system that would eventually become Katrina in August of 2005, we were ready for it. We knew it was going to be a big one. Mr. Lee Witt and President Gore went down in the days before the storm hit the coastline, and personally supervised the massive evacuation process. Most people were evacuated out of town , but the Superdome was designated the in-city evacuation of last resort. The National Guard was called to oversee the preparations for the Superdome, which included of course a MASH-style hospital unit, thousands of porta-potties, enough food and water to take care of thousands for days. While the President was urged to leave the city, he refused, choosing instead to reside at the Superdome.

The storm was, of course, terrible. There was millions of dollars of wind and water damage done to the city, and of course, we lost power. Thousands came to the Superdome, many rescued by the National Guard and FEMA, as well as by local citizens. But probably the most important thing was that the new levees were not breached by the rising water, we can only imagine how disastrous it would have been if they had been breached. Katrina came to be seen as one of the crowning highlights of Gore's presidency. The calm at the Superdome and in the New Orleans was a testament to the planning of Mr. Gore, though he gives the majority of credit to FEMA director Mr. Lee Witt, who received a Presidental Medal of Freedom for his efforts. Of course, rebuilding continues.



And then, there are our social freedoms - and these cannot be emphasized enough. After South Dakota's disgusting attempt to basically re-chattelize women last year, the people of this country rallied. President Gore, in his State of the Union address of 2006, called for the long-overdue ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment, finally securing for prosterity the equal rights of Women in this country.

Senator Tipper Gore (of the newly Senatorized and represented District of Columbia) led the push for the ERA, and on January 1, 2007 this Amendment was passed. Hundreds of thousands of people converged on the Hill to cheer the Amendment on. The next day, the Federal Government signed the Women's Privacy and Health bill into effect, stating that no state could ever again pass a bill not giving exception to life and health of the pregnant woman, and mandating that states with more restrictive abortion laws must always make exceptions for rape and incest. Another component of the bill provided for universal prenatal care, and said that states recieving public funding for sex-ed MUST cover contraception as part of the cirriculum. In addition, the bill provided Federal funding of HPV vaccinations.

While, of course, the larger ramifications of the Bill and Amendment are yet unknown, wide sentiment is that this was the greatest two days for the history of women, since the vote, in this country.

Of course, Conservatives bristled at the lot of this, with the predictable barrage of "this will make women promiscuous" to the absurd "this will make women lesbians" but the bulk of science is behind us - comprehensive sex education leads to FEWER abortions and fewer STDs. At least in this case, educators have been freed from the shackles of religious morality overstepping its bounds into the public sphere. And parents, as always, are free to choose to NOT let their children participate in the sex-ed classes.

Well, the Amendment was monumental, but I cannot forget to tell you about other notable news items from the social issues sphere as well. After President Gore was reelected in 2004, he announced his intention to pass the Non-Discrimination Act of 2005. This act mandated that all states reevaluate their Constitutions and search for inconsistencies, such as old miscenegation laws still on the books, and redundant Blue Laws, and the like. While this act did not mandate that the states change these laws (which would be an overreach by the Federal Government), it put the states on notice to be aware of laws that were no longer current with Federal law.

Perhaps the part of the act that has been most contentious, and has caused the most debate, is the "Equal Protection" part, as the act DID mandate that State law come up to speed with Federal Law in terms of Discrimination in regards to sex, creed, race and sexual orientation. It is well known precedent that no state can do LESS than the Federal Government, though states can do more.

Suprising for the Conservatives, and this caused much dissent with some in the Liberal ranks, was the suprising relaxation of hunting weapons, with the Sportsmans Act of 2005. As you all remember, the NRA didn't know what to do with itself when President Gore suggested it - do they support a Democrat???? It was HILARIOUS, but also gave rise to DSA (Democratic Sportspersons Association), which has become the premiere ownership association for people who hunt/fish/whatever. The Act made a distinction between those who owned sporting weapons, and streamlined the process.

The DSA, recognizing that sportspeople some of the best people to go to for conservation, have partnered with most of the conservation charities, the World Wildlife Federation (of all organizations!), Greenpeace, and the list goes on and on. It was key - to realize that hunters more than almost anyone - understood how precious the environment was. And it was particularly brilliant bridge-making by President Gore. Why no one had seen it before? Is beyond me.

Well, this is Kim signing off now for your report from the present. Take care you all and give the president good luck in getting the Nobel Peace Prize, ok? Just like the Oscars, it is an honor to be nominated.

8:50 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Tales of the Waterlogged Photoalbum

    I was recently able to reacquire an old, and almost ruined, photoalbum.  I almost have no photos of my teen years, due to a big flood in my Texas apartment.  However, I am scanned the various crap in here for yet another installment of "Crap I have Scanned."

Note: all of this stuff, due to water damage, have melded onto the pages that they were originally affixed.  This album is truly a fixed piece of art.

Oh, yeah!



Ok, the quality of this is exceptionally bad.  I only include it for neato gang signs and the inclusion of  Fugazi poster (barely legible).



Mmmmm, Bride of Satan.  I think the top photo was for Halloween.  I mean, possibly.  Goth (take note, kiddies) was not only not entirely called Goth in those days  (back when the sweetest juice came from lemon trees), but we also had no thing called Hot Topic.  Come to think of that now, kt probably was not Halloween. 

I probably went to school like that, which makes it astounding I didn't get my ass kicked on a regular basis (just semi-regular).

Kidding!  I was a good talker.




See how I cared about the issues, even as a young person?  Skateboard ban, my ass!  Nazis.



Art shot.  I would make fun of myself, but I always thought this photo was very pretty.  Sigh.



Random happy.

OK, that's all from Scanlandia.  Take care, all!

12:03 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

I'm Not Dead, Just Working

Jeeez, it's been a while since I posted a new blog.  Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I am not lying when I say I composed a hilarious one a while back, chock full of pictures and biting social commentary.  Really.  Entirely based on the International Male catalog that I STILL receive, for some dark and mysterious reason (I get Cat Fancy for many of the same reasons, all unknown) - but the Internets ate my homework.  Gah.

So here we are, new year and as my title implies, I am finally employed by a international employer that MUST NOT BE NAMED, lest I lose my job and BYOB in NYC (Bring Your Own Box).  But it's all good, I am in charge of an entire office and 12 other people, who actually have called me to find out if what they are wearing is ok to wear to work.

Any of you who know me know how hilarious it is to me that others run their work wardrobe by me.  Speaking of wardrobe, I am chucking in a few of the IM pictures I scanned for my lost blog.



Holy crap!  It's Axl Rose, right off the bus, hay frond in mouth, at the start of Paradise City.  AS he gazes off into his future, it says back to him Male prostitute or graveyard shift waiter???



Welcome to the second guy you fucked in college.  He was sensitive.

Don't drink the champaign - it is spiked with roofies.  And desperation. 

Can you spike a drink with desperation, you ask?  Mr. MidasTouch can, if anyone has the ability.



Holy crap, this guy is cute.  (Tazers self)
But fake tattoo sleves.  Blech.

Look closer...



And, once again, college poet's  eyes...



Which resemble!




So, as far as the usual suspects go, both Mad Dog and Chief Joseph remain healthy and happy and awesome as ever.  I am itching to get my paws on their W2s to maximize their taxes for this year.  I'm a dork.

Kimberlee, signing off...

11:55 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

New Orleans - the other planet

 Alternate Title - "Stalking Dr. Phil"




No, I am not, in fact, stalking Dr. Phil with cornbread.  OTOH, remember those box traps some of you may have made as a kid, where you propped up a box with stick tied with a string, baited the box and waited?  I'm thinking, maybe baiting one of those things with cornbread could have attracted Dr. Phil to me, due to the "glorious" convergence of us being in The Big Easy at the same time.


(only image I could find of the damned thing I am trying to describe)

But more on that later.

So the 114th annual American Psychological Convention (APA) was held in NO.  I know the date because I just checked out Dr. Pete's totebag.  The dippy APA souvenier one they handed out to the participants, which many conventioneers insisted on carrying with them everywhere in NO.  I mean, I usually try not to scream out "I'm a tourist, please mug me," and I know stumbling around Bourbon Street, giant glowing green drink in hand, is fine, but please don't do it with an APA totebag in arm, giant plastic nametag unremoved.  I don't care if you are a Professor of Applied Industrial Psychology at Harvard, I really don't.  Just take your hand off my ass, dickweed.   Jeesh, I can buy my own beads.

Anyway.

So with my nametag splendidly emblazoned with "Guest" (what, I don't get "Kimberlee, JD, founder of Kimmunism and soon to be Supreme Galactic Overlord?"), needless to say I didn't feel much like hanging out at the convention center when there were frozen drinks to be had, mad cheap, just blocks away.  And cornbread.  Plus, I like to limit my quality time with Dr. Pete's dad, whom I love dearly bad has a habit of making me want to stick a searing hot poker in my ears after a while.  Not to mention wandering the French Quarter looking at the tittie bars with your father-in-law while he is carrying an APA tote bag and still wearing his name tag is fucking embarrasing enough.

So, let me preface with this: the people of NO are fucking beautiful human beings.  I mean it. I susally get a little weirded out by being called "Ma'am" and "Baby," but seriously, it's N'awlins.  The NO'ers have a singualr ability to make you feel like you are sitting at their kitchen table, eating a slice of pecan pie they just made that morning.  It's remarkable.  I sometimes forget how, um, efficient, New York service is.

So I did actually attend the convention one day, for a little while.  Dr. Pete was giving a poster presentation, and I thought I'd risk the "Psychologists Gone Wild" and head on down.  Outside the convention center there were actual real live protesters, seriously.  These assholes. And yes, those are actual photos of that crap.  LOL, the bottom photo actually shows an infamous totebag. Dear Mr. "Don't Tell Me I Was Born Gay," come back out of the closet, your lavender sachet is starting to get to your brain.

If you want to read more about these sad souls, an article on the protest appears here.

So I go in, up the escalator after being given particularly bad directions from some psychologist who seemed singularly unimpressed with my "Guest" nametag, and who is speaking in one of the lecture halls?  You guessed it, Dr. Phil.  The one-and-only, bafflingly on invite from the APA. The Hell?  This Dr.Phil? Oh well.

Hilariously, here's an article from the Times-Picayune on his visit.

Anyway, after being mesmerized by his big bald head for a few minutes, I visited Dr.Pete's presentation then got a sandwich. Ex-gays and pop-psychologist personalities make me hungry.

So NO was incredibly awesome - I didn't do much else except wander around gawking, drank way too many girly drinks, enjoyed the pure evilness of charging stuff to the room, removed everything from the minibar to get a good look at it, and purchased a crapload of cheap souveniers.  It was awesome.

2:28 PM - 4 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

British Invaders & Courting Liver Failure

Actual Photo from Saturday Night!

Wow, it's been a while since I've blogged here. I haven't forgotten about you all, and it's not like I haven't done some exciting stuff (wedding, Newshounds Conference and NERAX, amongst other awesomeness).  Well, I'm lazy and it appears the only thing I can blog about is massive amounts of boozing, dammit.

So Saturday was the official start of the Summer birthday season.  Dr.Pete turned 35 on Saturday, and we had a very proper British birthday planned. I had a bit of a hangover, but Dr. Pete woke me up bright and early, 8:30 am, beer in hand.  I should have taken that for a sign, but chose not to.  We went into Manhattan to watch the FA Cup final on pay-per-view at a friends' house.  After some excellent tea and toast, and a nailbitingly fantastic game, we strolled over to the Manchester Pub and had a few (more).  Amanda the bartender noted that when Dr. Pete starts to get a little drunk, he starts to talk to you with theh top of his head.

I decided we needed to go do something not-drinking-oriented, so we headed over to the Met for the much-reviewed AngloMania exhibit, which was all sorts of AWESOME.  As I prolly said 18 million times that night - "I saw Johnny Rotten's jacket!!!"  We also saw this iconic Westwood tee:



This famous Chalayan dress:


The exhibit has been totally hyped, but is definitely worth it.

And I bought a t-shirt.

After the exhibit, we headed to have dinner, then back to the Manchester where I had stashed a gift for Birthday Part II (Electric Bugaloo?).  In more retrospect, I should have planned some other non-drinking activities, but I am seriously not creative when it comes to activities, so I am forever "Hey let's go to the pub, etc."  Why do you think I like beer festivals so much?  It's like an actual activity and the pub.  *sigh*

Anywho, it was time to head over to Mad Dog's b-day celebration, and Dr. Pete was doing a lot of talking with his head, which is better than using it to break your fall, but that comes later. 

Rubberman met us there, which prompted Dr. Pete to ask about two dozen times how he knew to be there - was it happenstance?  But for some reason, he didn't believe that I had called him and told him to be there.  BTW, for reasons exlained shortly, he is a lifesaver .  It's easy-ish to wreatle a 130 lb girl into a cab and send them home, not so much a 200 lb man.  At any rate, the usual suspects showed up and I steeled myself for Drinking Part II. 

After about an hour, Rubberman and I wrestled a very non-cooperative Dr. Pete into a cab, and sent him home.  It's hard work turning 35.

So New York nightlife, at least as far as taverns are concerned, aren't quite what they used to be.  The bars are still cool, no doubt (even with the annoying smoking law - never surrender!) But maybe it's just me, or they seem to close awful early these days.  After a few pub rotations, we went out on the great search for an after-hours, we settled on Woodfuckingside for Gin and music.  I love those private clubs, and now that Mad Dog has moved out of the Hobbit Hole, it's positively non-subterranian.  Mad Dog, Chief Joseph and I pushed on till dawn, did a little dance, although at some point I was physically outsted from the bed and forced to drink gin (I think I was hazed, but I don't know for what frat) and there was hiding from the neighbors ringing the doorbell.  Jehovas Witnesses, at this hour?  Shhh!!!

When Dr. Pete showed up the next day to pick me up, he sported some facial lacerations and a nice gut bruise, and he was not entirely certain  how, exactly, he got them.  However he did, I am pretty sure that means he wins.

So coming soon, the Pool Opening on Sir Jesus' estate, and more birthdays.

 

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Snakes on a Bentley!

No blog entry for this one just wanted to share this gem that ET over at Newshounds made. 

Awesome.

6:00 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Criminal Mischief Edition

In which I went on a field trip to target, and my car was targeted...sigh...

Get better, Chief Joseph! 

So Nicole wanted to go to Target, and not the crap Target in Queens but the nice Target out on Long Island.  Heh, because driving out to Long Island always makes me unaccountably nervous, and I have no idea why.  I mean, I can see in theory why LI would make people nervous, what with its suburbia and all.  Maybe it's the fear of venturing off the exits and never being able to find my way back to Queens.  But I digress.

And I love Target, anyway, and was bragging to Nicole the night before how cool the one out on the island was, and because I don't think she and I have gone shopping together in, like, over 10 years...I had to go.

So what better way to overstimulate two OCD-leaning, pop-culture addicted ex-miscreants than to put them inside a large, brightly lit store with lots of shiny objects?  I can't think of one, I mean, except maybe drugs, I guess.  Yeah, well, drugs would do it, but we're talking natural high here, people.

About an hour in, we were still focused: extendable lightbulb changer, printer paper, etc.  But soon afterwards, things started getting weird.  Nicole began talking non-stop: reading labels, telling little stories, analyzing the pros & cons of area rugs, and I was hanging on every word, laughing uncontrollably.  Now I know that Nicole's mom may or may have not had hemmhoroids when she was pregnant - which I guess isn't knowing anything.

Some psychologist theorized, not too long ago, that too many consumer choices made people crazy and irrational.  You'd be willing to believe it, standing in an entire aisle devoted to tampons and maxipads.  I didn't even know they had maxipads for obese girls now.  The array is truly dizzying.

Then some guy hit Nicole in the mead with a mop, and then proceeded to follow us around the store.

After 3 hours, we left to go back to the city, went out and boozed it up with Nicole's roommate. Too many Rum & Cokes & a visit by an angry neighbor later...

Someone threw a brick through my rear windshield, dammit. Well, not so much through, but certainly smashed the hell out of it.  Nothing says, "Gettin' through a hangover" like dealing with a smashed rearview.  We taped it all up with garbage bags, and I only cried a little, and drove home, the remaining glass falling into the garbage bags with every tiny bump.  Dammit.

The cops called it Criminal Mischief.

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