Getting On With It
Current mood: Free

" When the heart stops oozing blood
& the outpouring is clear as water
(so to speak) then you know you've
turned the corner & all the pathways
are no longer dark but clearly lighted
& shine like transparent drinking straws
then you know you'll find your way alone.
When the gray morning has nothing to do
with you & doesn't weigh you down
like a heavy blanket, then you know
that moving will be easy again and
your body will flow through time
like the river it really is, smooth & deep,
no rocks, no shallows to smash or catch you,
keep you from moving on.

When the heart slows
to its normal rhytm and the beauty
of birdsong at dawn doesn't make you cry
because you are alone listening, then you
know that everything has happend that is
going to for now, and you can get on with
your life & everything about it that was
yours alone and always finer than
anyone could ever imagine it would be
without him."

-G.B.

Currently listening : One Cell In the Sea By A Fine Frenzy Release date: 17 July, 2007

8:09 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Empty Fortune Cookie
Current mood: hopeful

Yesterday I went to a Chinese restaurant horribly named "Gong Ho" with my mother for lunch. After I devoured my delicious lemon chicken, the check came along with two complementary fortune cookies. I cracked mine open to find it completely empty. I was fortuneless.

"torn between wanting to stay & wanting to go & worried it will be the wrong decision either way"- B.A.

Besides never hearing of an empty cookie before, and the humor of the situation, it got me thinking… Everyone always says after graduation that your horizons are endless, that you have abundant opportunities, and that all these doors are opened to you- you are off to seek your fortune. Recently I've found myself in a position where I have freedom to go anywhere and do anything, although it's been a painful transition. "Its for the best" has been my mantra the past few weeks, luckily I whole-heartedly believe it.

"I have looked down the long days of our lives together, she said & in all directions, there is no future without love"- B.A.

This morning I accepted a job… not exactly my dream job, but a good one with opportunities, good pay, benefits, and a friendly environment. However, they want me to start Monday, which means I am leaving Kenosha a little sooner than expected.

"Not sure if she's ready for the whole world, but not sure if she can take another minute cooped up in that cage either. leaving the door open so if she has to come back she can do it with a minimum of anxiety"-B.A.

I'm leaving the place that has become my home, and the friends who have become my family. Needless to say, this whole thing is bittersweet. I find the prospect of "Starting over" in a new place without my established, trusted support system terrifying. Leaving the security of the home that I have made for myself as well as the people, (and one person in particular) that have helped make it home, saddens and scares me. On the other hand, I'm excited! I'm starting a new job in a new city (although I'm living with my parents for a while), and meeting new people.

"I'm trying to pack for the future, he said, but I think it's too much stuff. So what are you going to do? I said. & he shrugged & said he was going to trust that everything would work out. & he added, I'm moving back in with my parents."-B.A.


I guess my future, or fortune, is unwritten… kind of like my empty fortune cookie (a corny metaphor but run with it) Its beautiful, new, and a little sad….but I'm up for the challenge.

"I held out my hands & asked where I could help & somebody grabbed me & pointed me towards the future & said, You've got your work cut out for you & I said, isn't there anything easier? & he laughed & said you could dig around in the past, but it's just busywork & that made perfect sense so I shrugged & started right where I was, along with everyone else"- B.A.

11:18 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I need you to know who I am

If I told you that I lie sometimes
If I told you that I'd run away
If I told you who I was before
Would you follow me?

If I told you that I sneak sometimes
If I told you that I Love Too Much
If I showed you the other side
 Would you follow me?

Cause I'm shedding my skin
So you can see my face
I need you to know who I am
I'm ready to go where I've never been
Will you stay around and follow me....

11:48 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

... Sleepless night...
Current mood: pissed off

Now... I can't promise that this blog will make much sense, but please bear with me and all spelling/grammar mistakes.

The stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me.

It is 7am. I, Dawn "shut the hell up I'm sleeping" Gallt am up watching the sunrise. Yes, sunrise. This is not somthing I do often. Although I may be named for the morning doesnt mean I actually like it. I have seen only a few sunrises in my 21 years. Most of them were for somthing exciting like an all night conversation, a lock in in high school, or leaving for an early trip.
Today I am up at the ass-crack because I can't sleep... because I am pissed.

I went to my first "college party" of the year last night. I'm not complaining. It became amazingly clear that I am out of that stage in my life where drinking and partying are fun. Now, my friends can say I'm "an old married woman" all they want, I realized that I would rather spend time with the people I love enjoying their company, a glass of wine, good conversation, and possibly Lord of the Rings Monopoly. The whole time I was at this party I just wanted to go home... home to my new family. I went to bed thinking "wow I guess I really am grown up" ( I have been having thoughts like that a lot lately and although sometimes disturbing it is also very comforting)

My roommate Matt woke me up around 2:45 this morning, shortly after I fell asleep. He told me that my car had been hit.
I parked my 2002 Mazda that I love very much on the street outside my apartment as I do almost every night.  Not knowing if it was a small fender bender or what I quickly got dressed and went down stairs to find my car pushed an entire other parking spot up and on the curb with the back compleatly crushed in and the glass from my back window stroon across the street. It may sound silly but I wasnt prepared. I was sad and angry.
What kind of bitch whore (yes, bitch whore) hits and runs?

A random stranger came down the street to tell us that he witnessed the whole thing, chased after the guy when he drove away and then called the cops. The KPD showed up to let us know the ass hole had been caught and yes, the bastard was drunk.

 I look down the window and see some small pieces of shattered glass in the morning light. Millions of dollars have been spent on drunk driving education and awareness advertising, everyone knows it wrong, and yet some assholes still think it wont happen to them. What the hell makes YOU the exception??
Whats the use of spending all the money if people ignore it?
Now because of some stupid bastard's ignorance and selfishness I don't have a way to get around. I'm supposed to work at 11:30 this morning in IL, I have school in a few days, and bluntly... I need a car to get around my daily life. Luckily, I am totally innocent so I hope our insurance will cover a majority if not all of the costs. However, my family doesnt know yet. My parents are coming back tonight from a romantic tropical vacation to find out their car has been totaled. I just thank whatever higher being you belive in that no one was in my car.
It was a PARKED car on the side of a clear street. The guy had to be pretty drunk to hit the one parked car in his view. Imagine what he would have done to a moving vehicle. I'm just glad he was caught before anyone got hurt.

This may sound stupid, but if you are reading this blog it means I most likely know you, which means I probably care about you and your well being.After going to that party last night the idea of drunk people driving is fresh in my mind. As cheesy as it sounds, do me (and yourself) a favor and don't drink and drive. Use your judgment and competence... we all have whatever amount of some sort... many just choose to ignore it and then must live with the consiquences.
 I'm way too tired to have another sleepless night.

p.s. Matty-Matt is my hero!

6:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

TGIF
Current mood: hungry

My first class got canceled today so I have time to be messing around on the computer... I realized that I haven't blogged in a while so... why not?

I have had a most interesting week.

 Social politics will always provail over talent and dedication... I guess thats how it is in the real world as well, but it doesn't mean I like it or have to subject myself to being a suck up. It has never been my style and I don't want it to be. I have more self respect than that.

I just can't wait to be out of all of this. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a real life version of "Mean Girls" but its college style so its even more vicious.

I've also been disapointed with people this week. If you have no respect for me I will have very little for you. That makes me sad... especially when I used to care about this person... oh well.

But... It is Friday! The sun is actually shinning, I am wearing my beautiful/comfortable shoes (a very hard combination),  I have some amazing boys (one in particular) waiting for me at my sweet apartment, a fantastic group of friends, and great opprutunities awaiting me.                    

The BS is too tiny and insignificant to bring me down.

1:48 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

...Beautiful changes...
Current mood: loved

So I've been thinking lately about the past....

A year ago today I touched down in a plane from Texas ready to start a new life. It was a beautiful turning point... life-changing, eye-opening, and just... I dont know... beautiful!

To think of how different I was a year ago, how much I've grown, and how I am amazed everyday just makes me love life more than I ever thought possible.

6:50 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Happy
Current mood: thankful

So... Its um like 2:30 in the morning and I really should be sleeping. I'm at my parents house in Downers (yes thats right, not home but my parents house... as sad as it is this isnt my home anymore) I've been up having way too much fun on their new computer and thought back to some thoughts I had earlier today on my ride to DG.

Things that Make me happy:

Random acts of kindness (to do them and experience them)

Beautiful sunny days when I remember (and love) that I wake up to the sounds of Lake Michigan and can look out my window to an amazing view.

Hearing a song for the first time and crying... wheather it is because it struck a chord with me or just b/c it is beautiful (today it was James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover" I highly recomend it!)

Seeing my dog... and the anticipation of seeing him. No one is ever more happy to see me and ready to cuddle.

My family... as insane as they may be, they love and support me more than I could have ever imagined. Although I may not see them often it is always an adventure when I do.

My father's habbit of crying when I sing... for such a big man hes a pretty big softy and my number one fan.

The fact that my mother may believe her ridiculous dreams after she wakes up, has an addiction for horrible word puns, and still wants to take care of me, but will always be there when I am in the middle of a mental break down.

That my sister and I are finally becoming friends... it means the world to me.

My Ipod.

The moments when I realize how beautiful life is and how the hic-ups are so insignificant that I dont know why I allow myself to dwell on somthing that destroys time I could spend on living happily.

Performing... and doing it well.

Friends that will force you to go to the hospital and stay with you, making you laugh through the pain.
Friends that hold you up and keep you going when you dont think you can... even if its going into a room where too much of the past is present.

Frolic Days (can we please have more?)

Friends that you may not see or hear from in a while but when you do its like nothing has changed...

Knowing that I share a box... I mean room, with an amazing girl who deals with me and loves me.

Facebook

Bubble baths

reconnecting

Finding new music that you fall in love with

Gilmore Girls

My mangy gallery owner

Acting like a total idot and not giving a damn!

Old photographs

Singing really loud and very badly

popcorn!

Knowing that I DO have people in my life that respect me enough to come to me with concerns.

Disney Princess cerial

Memories of my Aunt

Being a Sea Urchin

Europe.... and all the memories I have from it.

Camping

Wine

A friendly gesture from an acquaintance... the possibilty of a new friend

Musical theater.... ohhh I love it!

Knowing that I will get to fall asleep and wake up every morning to you...

my comfy black capri pants

as much as I may protest... there is somthing fun to being thrown around

Comments (hint hint)

Finally being my own person

Living through the brutal heartbreaks and learning from them. Whatever relationships that are in your life are there for a reason...good or bad... but you will always grow from them.

Breaking out of the suburbs... but being able to come back every now and again.

Knowing that the last time I drove North bound from central IL I was coming back to the one I love and not leaving.

The apartment

My Grandmas hugs.

The Office

moving on

The fact that I am not tired right now... weird

my camera

my class schedule next semester

My Grandpas wisdom and humor... I'm so proud to have inherited his eyes... I only hope I get the other good qualites as well.

entertaining stories

creating

...Knowing that however much I mess stuff up, freak out, or am a drama queen that I have an amazing bunch of people in my life.

Thank you for inspiring me.

Goodnight.

12:34 AM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

A little Inspiration...

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his sucess. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibiblty under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

2:58 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Home
Current mood: thankful

Another winter day has come and gone away in even Paris and Rome
and I want to go home... I miss you, you know.

And Im surrounded by a million people I still feel alone
and let me come home
I got to go home

Let me go home
Ive had my run, baby Im done.
I wanna go home.

Let me come home...
It will all be alright
Ill be home tonight
Im coming back home....

1:22 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Europe

I'll be touring Europe for 2 weeks. Leave me some fun stuff to  come back to!

Have a great one!

7:51 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment