Before the Devil knows he’s Dead
Current mood: drained
Category: Religion and Philosophy

The French poet Baudelaire once wrote, "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist".

On the rare occasions when people ask me if I'm a Christian, I tell them that I am.  I do believe in Jesus.  However, I'm a weird Christian in that I don't believe in Hell or Satan.  I've even been accused of not being a true Christian for this belief.  I still haven't figured that one out.

The reason I don't believe in Satan is basic human nature.  Most of our rituals and myths are created to control fear.  I believe that the concept of Satan was created for that purpose.  But how could something as scary as Satan be used by mankind to control fear? 

That which is most frightening is the random occurance.  The reason is that no matter how good of a person you are, no matter how many precautions you take, there is no defense against the random.  Anyone and everyone is vulnerable to the random.  It is this very vulnerablility that makes random chance so frightening.  That is why the man who gets angry with his wife and kills her isn't as scary as the serial killer who goes after strangers.  That is why the shark in Jaws was scary and the shark in Jaws 4 wasn't (ok, there were a lot of other reasons too).

So I believe that Satan was created to act as a false reason for the random event and thereby mitigate the fear that it causes.  You can do things to avoid the Evil Eye of Satan.  You can do nothing to avoid the cold, unflinching stare of random. 

Hell is a little different.  Hell wasn't created to control fear.  Hell is a fear that was created to control men.  I believe that there is a heaven but not a hell.  But how can that be?  If there is day, there must also be night, right?  Wrong.  Check out Mercury.  It doesn't rotate, therefore it doesn't have day and night.  It has a side that always faces the sun and a side always in shadow. 

Let's say that you are one of the early followers of the newly risen Christ.  You are full of zeal and you want to help others join you in the amazing grace of Salvation.  The Christ has provided the world with a noble example to live by.  Do unto others... turn the other cheek... judge not lest ye be judged... etc.  Plus as a perk, he was tortured and died on the cross so that everyone would be saved and go to heaven.

Now when you tell people of His story, they are impressed.  But when you try to get them to follow you, they are unswayed.  "If I am going to heaven no matter what, then why shouldn't I do whatever I want?" asks the potential follower.  "Ummm... because." you reply.  "Nice try, but I'm going to go steal some money, use it to buy drink, then have debaucherous sex with as many women as I can in the temple of the Pig-God.  Oh and by the way... thanks for telling me the Good News."

Not an easy sell.  So, people being people, an incentive was created... Hell.  The next time you are asked "... then why shouldn't I do whatever I want?" you can reply with, "Ummm... because if you don't you will spend an eternity in Hell!"  Now I'm listening.  Things may suck here on good ol' planet earth, but they only suck temporarily.

But once you create this lie, you have to create new lies to explain how it works.  That's how you get Limbo, and Purgatory, and all that jazz.  Ask a theologian if you have to believe in Jesus to go to heaven and that person will say yes.  Then ask them if that means that newborn babies who die as infants go to hell.  They will hem and haw and say no.  Ask them why not, and that is when the spinning begins.    Some say babies go to heaven.  Others say they are dead and lack consciousness until the ressurection.  Regardless, the fact is that the original lie of hell now has to be ammended to keep Jesus from looking like a total prick (which is how God comes off in the Old Testament).

So there you have it.  The Devil does not exist.  He was created to control fear.  Hell also does not exist.  It was created to control men.

Currently reading : The Innocent Man By John Grisham Release date: 2007-11-20

3:02 AM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

TJI...Marriage No Longer Relevant
Current mood: discontent
Category: Life

• The goal of BIOLOGY is to ensure the continuation of the Species.
•  The goal of CIVILIZATION is to ensure the continuation and advancement of the Civilization.
• Often, there are unintended consequences associated with a strategy once implemented.

BIOLOGY provided for the development of increased brainpower.  This survival trait ensured the continuation of the species. 

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A lone pair hunter-gatherers would find it necessary for the male and female to provide for the rearing of a child to the point that it could be left alone for short times or to join in gathering.  Typically this would be around seven years.  At this point, the male could look to find a new mate without overly jeopardizing his existing genetic legacy.

Increased brainpower allowed humans to overcome physical limitations.  However, a consequence of this brainpower was the creation of CIVILIZATION. 

CIVILIZATION is an aberration, not the natural state of mankind.  As such, CIVILIZATION and BIOLOGY are often in conflict.  Marriage is an example of this conflict.

Marriage is a construct of CIVILIZATION used to determine ownership.  It was created to instill order and provide structure among the members of the Civilization.  Without marriage, as mating pairs parted ways, the resulting search for mates would cause havoc.  This would undermine the Civilization, which would eventually dissolve back into tribal hunter-gatherer groups.  Marriage created the distinction between the "Available" woman and the "Spoken-For" woman.

Further, without sophisticated technology, paternity cannot be proven.  This would also create havoc, as possible heirs would struggle for ownership of the physical legacy of their forbearers.  This too would result in the dissolution of the Civilization.  Marriage created a distinction between the "Legitimate" child and the "Illegitimate" child.  Transfer of wealth was stabilized and the threat to the Civilization mitigated.

However, BIOLOGY is only thwarted by this construct, not conquered.  After seven-ish years with the same mate, a man (and in many cases a woman), feels a NEED to seek out a new mate.  When this happens, the individual is forced to succumb to the demand of either CIVILIZATION, or BIOLOGY.  Punishments were added to attempt to ensure that members remained faithful to the construct.  However, in this endeavor, marriage fails at least as often as it succeeds. 

• Current technology allows for determination of paternity without marriage. 
• Current child support laws allow for one parent to successfully raise a child.
•  Marriage does not ensure fidelity.

 Therefore, marriage is no longer relevant or necessary in Modern Civilized Society.

Currently listening : Narrow Stairs By Death Cab for Cutie Release date: 2008-05-13

7:55 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Republican "Brand" Tarnished?
Current mood: grumpy
Category: News and Politics

Many news outlets are echoing the thought that recent Democratic victories in special elections are a sign that the Republican "Brand" is tarnished.

Let's think about that for a moment.  Right Wing pundits have long claimed the existence of a liberal media bias.  I believe this "Brand" discussion is a prime example that there is no liberal media bias. 

Specifically, this statement is the media's way of providing the RNC with damage control.  By referring to these losses as merely a superficial issue the media frames the discussion to avoid any real analysis into the reason behind the losses.

Here is what I believe is really happening:

The Conservative Republican system of governance has failed and is continuing to fail on every front.  And the people are taking notice.

The rise of political conservatism in this country was built on the idea that the government was the problem, not part of the solution.  Smaller government, more state level control, lower taxes, and the dismantling of regulation were championed as the way that will fix the broken welfare state.

Starting in 1981, these strategies were enacted.  The results have been nothing short of failure.  The thing is, the failures didn't all happen at once and weren't being linked to the policies by the media.  Deregulation led to increases in airline crashes, failure of the Savings and Loan industry, Coal mining catastrophes, accounting fraud in the billions.  Hawkish conservative values paved the way for pre-emptive war and the corporate profiteering that came with it.   

It is only now after a quarter century of failures has the weight of the ineptitude of the Conservative Republican style of governance been able to outstrip the ability of the RNC marketing machine and its media lackeys to spin negatives into positives.

I don't know if the American people have finally opened their eyes to see the lipstick on the pig we've been kissing for 25+ years, but I believe we have at least started to peek.

10:16 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Why we are in Iraq... "It's the economy stupid"!
Category: News and Politics

I firmly believe that we are in Iraq because of oil.  However, not because we want to control who owns it, who pumps it, or who sells it.  We are in Iraq to control how oil is purchased.  Bear with me here.

Currently on this planet, almost every drop of oil is purchased with U.S. Dollars.  This means that any country that is a net importer of oil (Japan and China I'm looking at you) has to have a large sum of its wealth in the form of U.S. Dollars to be able to purchase the energy their country needs. 

This creates a huge (and artificial) demand for our currency.  Which in turn, keeps our economy thriving.  Because a nation's economy is only as strong as its currency.  So, in effect, the value of our currency is based on oil.  As such, the strength of our economy is based on continued demand for oil.

This is why our government never really pursues alternative energy with anything more than lipservice.  Because alternative energy makes oil less valuable.  Therefore, as oil loses its value, so does our currency.  When our currency deflates so does our economy.  To our government, the world's addiction to oil isn't a problem, it's a Godsend.  So when the Government drags its feet on fuel efficiency it is an effort not to sabotage our own economy.

So how does this relate to Iraq?  Prior to our invasion/occupation of Iraq, Saddam Hussein began selling his oil for Euros.  If other OPEC nations began selling their oil for Euros, the Japans and Chinas of the world would then dump their massive dollar holdings, causing a catastrophic devaluation of the dollar and a calamitous recession/depression in the U.S. economy.  Thanks to Osama bin Laden and some out right lying, Bush was able to get Congressional authority to invade Iraq.  About 5 weeks after the initial invasion, Iraqi oil was again being sold only for dollars.  And shortly thereafter Bush stood under a "Mission Accomplished" banner.

Also consider, American saber-rattling at Iran and Venezuela started after these countries revealed plans to sell their oil for Euros and other currencies. 

The reason that we are still in Iraq (and will remain in perpetuity) is as a message to other oil producing nations: Either sell your oil for dollars or sell your oil for dollars while we occupy your country.

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Another Black Eye for Democracy
Current mood: Pissed

On paper, democracy is the best form of government in existence.  In the real world, however, democracy exhibits a fatal flaw.  That flaw is... the stupidity of the eloctorate.  Case in point: Warren Chisholm, R-TX (Pampa).

This douche-bag circulated literature to the rest of the members of the Texas House of Reps that advocated the belief that the earth does not rotate on an axis nor does it orbit the sun.  Furthermore, all scientific evidence to the contrary is a conspiracy to topple the Christian belief in Creationism.  Best yet, the perps of this conspiracy are (drum-roll) the Jews!

Hey dipshit, Creationism is based on the Old Testament.  I'll give you one guess as to who the Old Testament was written by, for, and to.  Wrong, it was the Jews.  Creationism is a Jewish belief!  Why would the Jews use science to attack their own faith?  That's right, because they're sneaky like that.

So I say, well done voters from Pampa.  Keep up the good work. 

When does democracy suck?  When pieces of offal like Warren "Fixed Earth" Chisholm get elected.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/2/16/114553/289

10:32 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Krikey that made my day!
Current mood: jubilant

I'm a bad person.  I'm getting this out of the way first.  Ok, now to the blog.  When I found out the Croc Hunter had died from a stingray strike to the chest I jumped up and down with glee.  I have been waiting for this moment for years.  Seeing this man avoid death was making me pissed... like the day after getting a ticket for going five miles over the limit and seeing some jackass doing 120 down I35 and nary a cop in sight.  That kind of pissed.  So the news made my day as I imagined various scenarios of him molesting some stingray that just wanted to be left alone.

"You're a naughty little stingray you are!  Folks, stingrays are gentle creatures that just love for you to stomp up behind 'em and tickle 'em on their bung.  How do you like that you naughty little KRIKEY!" glub glub glub.

I hope these come in threes.  Steve Corwin and anyone from Jackass should be next.

2:17 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Hammer quits before getting Nailed

Do you hear that?  Yup, that's the world's tiniest violin playing a sympathy tune for poor, neglected, and persecuted (soon to be prosecuted) Tom DeLay.  If his moral, ethical, and legal standing was so firm that he knew he would win his House seat, why quit?  If you're innocent, you needn't fear the truth. 

So let the spin doctoring begin.  "I can do more good from the outside."  "The partisan DA will get his."  "I did nothing wrong, my subordinates were being all felonious and shit but I wasn't on the down-low with that."

How will distancing himself from the GOP affect the midterms?  As long as the GOP still controls Diebold, it's all moot.

10:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Springtime
Current mood: amused

Spring has sprung!  A time when romance is in the air, women wear shorts and spaghetti strap tank-tops, and warm temperatures prompt my mind to wander to more pleasure-filled pursuits like... golf.  Why golf instead of poon?  Because, honestly, I have a better chance at scoring in golf, it's way easier to find the hole, and nobody makes a federal production out of it if I decide to play the back nine.

I have this adorable little 3 year-old cousin.  Her only problem is that she watches too much TV.  I found this out when we were playing the Farm Animal Noise game.  I asked her, "What sound does the cute little chicky make?"  And she said "cheep cheep".  What sound does the pretty white pony make?  "Ney-neyyyy".  And what sound does the fat old pig make?  "Fetucinniiiiiiii!!!" 

I wish I had come up with that joke 10 months ago, the last time that commercial aired.

2:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Vinny and the Wonderlics!

Living in Austin, this is the only topic covered by local sports radio for the past 4 days.  In case you were in a coma, it has been reported (but not confirmed)that VY scored a 6 on the Wonderlic (a 50 question test).  

Ever since then, the U.T. Spin Machine has been going on overdrive.  Here are the most common takes on the subject:

Wonderlic is meaningless
Wonderlic is biassed
Wonderlic was incorrectly graded

Bear in mind that I am biassed against VY because I'm an Aggie.

Here's my view:

Wonderlic is meaningless... then why does the NFL keep administering it?  My argument is that a 50 question test can't determine someone's intelligence level.  In fact, I doubt a 5000 question test could do that.  The deal is that this test is so easy that no one should get less than 50% on it unless they have some sort of learning disability or they just blow it off.  I think what this alleged "6" is saying is that VY didn't care enough about a "stupid test" to take it seriously, even though his performance could impact his draft position.  I think blowing off this test makes NFL clubs wonder about what else you're willing to blow off.  Therefore, it is NOT meaningless.  Does a "6" mean you aren't smart enought to play QB?  I doubt it.

The Wonderlic is biassed.  B.S.!  When you are getting questions that ask "Which is the 9th month of the year?", the bias idea flies out the window.  One caller mentioned that VY was from the hood and as such couldn't be expected to understand a question like "If paper is .21 per pad, how much does 4 pads cost?"  Again, bogus.  Simple math is simple math.

The Wonderlic was incorrectly graded.  How convenient!  Is that really the best you could do?

All of this is complete spin.  How do I know this?  Because I've looked at it from the opposite angle.  What would these radio VY jock-kissers be saying if he had scored 100%?  Would they be calling it meaningless, biassed, or incorrectly graded?  No

In summation, VY may or may not be stupid.  The wonderlic doesn't tell us.  The wonderlic is meaningfull, but doesn't indicate "football cognition" and will not be a deal-breaker for VY.  He will still be a top 5 pick.  He will still command mucho dinero.  He may become a great NFL QB... but I doubt it.  Then again, I'm biassed.

10:36 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Christmas Blessing

Don't forget to thank the good Lord for the Chinese children in prison who manufacture all the crap we buy, as the lack of overhead makes the stuff way cheaper. If you're no good at coming up with prayers on the fly, here's one you can use: Oh Lord, God, Allah, Budha, Cheney, Yaweh, or whoever, thank you for this holiday season where we can engage in mindless consumerism. Help us keep America rolling by buying as much as possible. Thank you for the poor Chinese prison laborers, many of them children, as their exploitation is especially beneficial to us this time of year. Thank you also for Wal Mart and their ability to employ people at such a low wage that they can still offer the goods made in Chinese prisons on the cheap. Thank you as well for the opportunity to purchase these items through revolving debt so that instead of paying $10 for the piece of Chinese plastic we can be charged up to 25nterest on that item for years. And finally thank you for Christians who bemoan the "War against Christmas" yet do not even realize that Christmas isn't Christian but instead is derived from the pagan festival Saturnalia. Merry Holidays!

Currently reading : Calendar: Humanity's Epic Struggle to Determine a True and Accurate Year By David Ewing Duncan Release date: July, 1998

2:42 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment