Anonymous Blog: Domestic Violence Victim
Category: Romance and Relationships

The following blog was admitted to us by a woman who wishes to remain anonymous.  In light of the Domestic Violence Auction on April 1st,  she wanted to share HER story with everyone.  Please be respectful in your comments. She will be reading but not replying.



I met my ex husband when I was 18 and things were great at first. We had fun and were always laughing and joking. I fell pregnant quite early on in the relationship but knew we could survive as we had a strong relationship. Everything was brilliant until I was 8 months pregnant.. We had been out all evening to a friends wedding and had a good night. When we got home he started accusing me of flirting with other men at the wedding which I hadn’t done. I was just laughing! But at this point he wouldn’t believe me and started hitting me. He pushed me down the stairs and I lay at the bottom in agony and bleeding.. he immediately called an ambulance and while we were waiting for the ambulance, he was crying and saying sorry and said it was the drink. I was admitted to hospital and spent 4 weeks there until our son was born. Our life was back on track as I naively believed him. He was acting so sweet and was brilliant with our son but things changed again when our son was 5 months old.

He went to work one day and when he came home he asked what I had been doing all day so I told him the usual.. housework looking after our son etc and he hit me straight away and said that he had given me a test before he left for work and had put crumbs in the corner of the room to see if I would vacuum properly that day and they were still there. The test worked as every day I would tell friends they couldn’t come around as I was too busy with my son and housework.

The abuse was now mental and physical. Things got worse and he threatened that if I ever left him he would find me and kill me. I always said that I would never put up with a man hitting me but until you are in the situation you do not now how frightening it is. The abuse was for many  years and I have been taken to hospital to many times to tell you all. I hid it from my family and he knew were to hit me so I could cover up.
 
I now have 3 children all boys and at the beginning of last year he was still here and I still had not ever hit him back until this particular day. I can’t even remember what this was about and why it had started because the violence happened so much. He started hitting me in the bedroom and pushed me down onto the bed where he started really hurting me when my eldest son walked in who is now 10. He jumped on my ex’s back and said "Get off my mum and stop hurting her!" he had never hit the children and was actually for all his faults a good dad to them but this time he had lost the respect from his son and he knew it and he threw my son off his back and across the room. My son was lying on the floor crying his eyes out and for the first time ever I hit him back. I kicked him in the ribs with almighty force and heard a loud cracking noise and he collapsed on the floor and couldn’t breathe properly.

I called an ambulance for him and they came and took him away. I had a phone call from his mum a few hours later to say he had 2 broken ribs and a punctured lung. I was not happy about this as I hate violence but hopefully it had taught him a lesson. I then had a knock at the door and it was the police he had reported me for assault. I sat down and explained to the police what I had been through and even got out hospital reports that I had kept hidden. The policeman came over to me and shook my head and said
"Good on you! I don’t agree in violence but on this occassion I will say you did the right thing finally!"

I knew that I had as well. I did take him bet yet again though and things did actually change as he knew I wouldn’t be bullied anymore. We were a happy family but always in the back of my mind was the thoughts.. When willl the next beating be? Have I cleaned up properly, Don’t talk to any men while we are out and many other things. After all I have put up with from him in life and everything I did for him he left me!! For a woman he met on the internet.. I was devastated at the time.

He had controlled me so much that I didn’t think I could do it on my own and raise the children. But I am here to say I can. I can now stand up and be proud as he is out of our lives for good and he doesn’t even want to see the boys but hey they really don’t need a role model like him in there life..I can honestly say now that

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