Feelin fine tonight
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Two exams down for mid-term, two looming over the horizon for Monday and Tuesday.

I think my situation in life might be taking its proper course.  I saw a light yesterday and Tuesday.  Charlie Churchill, the CPA for the business at which I work, called me twice.  Twice!

Hello!

I missed his Tuesday call and received a kind message from him stating that he was looking at January and thinking that he might need my services which I offered him a couple weeks ago.  I was busy prepping for last night's exam so I had not yet returned his call.  During the day, he called again.  I figured I had better return the call so I did.  Again he offered to see what we could arrange so I can get a little CPA firm experience to put on my resume.

Now I don't know about you, but with many business people from personal past experiences, offers came once; miss one and I was dropped, passed over, door closed, said caller will not take my call now because he is too busy or decided to find another person.  Not the case here.

Charlie expressed great interest in helping me move ahead with my career plans.  I know, Karl, you are doing him a favor and one that probably no one else has offered him.  This may be true.  However, he is offering and he is a starting point / jump point / launch pad for my future.  I will go there if we can benefit each other.

Okay, test scores: I believe I earned two A grades on exams last night and this morning.  Yea!  Now time to study for next two batteries.  Be well, my friends.

PS. A six-feet tall blonde taught me to two-step country dance at the Rockin' Rodeo and I am way in love ... well, okay it's not love yet but I am smitten and in possession of her telephone numbers.

7:52 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Renouncing my faith
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I apologize to you if my Jesus comment offended, sir, but I am finished with religion, especially Christian religion.

I gave 30 years of my life to that christ and that god, and ended up broke, alone and unable to support myself.

The promises made in that book you people call the Holy Bible came true for everyone but me.

Oh, and when it comes to gifts, I devoted my gifts to your god and ended up in worse shape than had I followed the better plan I pursue now.  For the first time in my life I see light at the end of the tunnel and it ain't no Jesus; it's the fact that I am moving in the direction I could have moved years ago had my mind been treated then how it is treated today.  Welbutrin succeeded where Christianity, Jesus and God failed.  A medicine made by man was, and is, more powerful than the Holy Trinity.

Today I am focused.  Today I no longer slice open my arm.  Today I have hope for tomorrow.  Today I believe I possess ability, skill, intelligence, fortitude, determination, ambition, and confidence.  Today I am finally alive, finally free.  No more living as some despicable soul that has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  No more unworthiness.  No more guilt.  No more any of that negative Christian crap that destroyed me, that told me I was not good enough, that made me feel insecure, that made me hate myself.

Today I walk in light.  I walk in light that I have meaning, importance, and value; and that I give these to myself because I am.  I matter; if not to anyone else, then to my self, and to my self will I be true.

Mike, giving up Christianity was the hardest decision I ever made.  Believe me, I fought and wrestled for years concerning my faith, believing I would be doomed to hell and damnation if ever I turned from God.  The day I renounced my faith, I felt a heavy burden fall from my shoulders.  Take my yoke, Jesus said.  Carry it yourself, I say.

For the first time in my life, I feel like everything is going to turn out fine for me once I finish putting in the cornerstone that I rejected for so many years.  Upon that stone, which is me, I do build my church that is me.

Mike, each of us possesses worth within ourselves, a worth that needs not be divinely given for it is already within us.  We only need realize our value.  Christianity teaches the exact opposite.  Christianity teaches a person to hate himself, to take up a cross and follow Christ, to believe Apostle Paul's words that we are all sinners and fallen short of the glory of God.  They are all lies intended to make us weak and to cause us to question our worth.

I am worthy, Mike.  I am not some sloven sinner.  I did not ask to be born.  I did not choose this body or this life.  Had all choices been mine from the beginning, I would be in a totally different state of being, state of health, state of social position, state of dependence, state of mental faculty and all the rest.  Well, I have what I have, and with what I have I must use to further myself physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I believe my purpose in this life is to accept myself for who and what I am with all my frailties, capitalizing on my strengths and using every bit of me to make my life mean something to me.  This can only come from committing myself to me and my well being.

Otherwise, I denigrate myself and relegate myself to sinner, fallen short ... you get the picture.

Well, I must sleep now.  I have a full schedule for tomorrow.

Take good care of yourself, Mike.

Hopefully one of these days I can get Silv back in the cockpit.  For now, I must concentrate on my accounting studies so I can become a CPA in a year or two.

Sincerely, Legion

Just in case you are wondering what I said my friend prior to writing this letter, here it is for you!

What Would Jesus Do if he walked into a titty bar?

Nuttin' cause he's dead!

5:49 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I'm drinking wine !!! 8-P

Ask anyone.  He or she will tell you women are the pinnicle of God's creation.  He didn't get it right with man, so to perfect the idea He made woman.  Some beothces complain about the word wo-man because it contains man in the word.  To me, wo should read ... Wo!-man ... look at that!  The wo makes the man part better ... all pretty curves, true emotional feelings, brains for thinking rationally instead of sexually, values based on love and family and nurturing (unless you are Joan D'Arc or Katherine the Great), and intuition that knows what to do with weird situations that cause men to say, "Screw it; I'll just kill it so I don't have to deal with it."  What's up with that?

As you will notice in Genesis, the last of God's creation is woman. Why? What answer do you have as to why God stopped creating stuff when He made woman.

11:54 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Falling in love again.
Current mood: happy

On this day I am so happy.

10:13 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Found a soul mate.
Current mood: anxious

It's 1:09 in the morning and I just stepped off into the unknown, dove into murky waters, pressed forth into uncharted land risking everything sacred of myself to touch a soul.

11:13 PM - 2 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

When will peace be won?
Current mood: Flabbergasted by people

When will peace be won?

September 2, 2005 I posted a blog concerning the war on terror.  In that blog I said, "On this day, I feel peace will only be won through the barrel of a gun."

A lot of people say we should stop the war on terror, bring home our troops, negotiate peace with the terrorists.  Please read the following quote:

My good friends, for the second time in our history, a British Prime Minister has returned from Germany bringing peace with honour.  I believe it is peace for our time.

Do you know who said the above words?  Do you know when those famous words were spoken?

The author: Neville Chamberlain.
The period: September 1938 at Heston Airport, England.
The subject: Bargaining peace with Adolf Hitler.

Chamberlain is perhaps the most ill-regarded British Prime Minister of the 20th century, largely because of his policy of appeasement toward Nazi Germany regarding the abandonment of Czechoslovakia to Hitler at Munich. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neville_Chamberlain

During March 1939, Hitler invaded and assimilated Czechoslovakia into his facist Nazi empire, then systematically began rounding up gypsies, queers, Jews and other undesirable people for extermination.   One year after Chamberlain's pronouncement of "peace for our time," Hitler invaded Poland, thus thrusting the world into its second world war.

Currently, Iranian supplied Katyusha rockets are exploding in the homes and businesses of innocent Jews because Hezbollah wants to wipe Israel and every Jew from the face of the earth.  Jihadist Islam's mindset is no different from Hitler's mindset: exterminate that which does not fit the regime's agenda.  For some in Islam, that agenda is Sharia rule, which creates hardships for everyone, especially women!  Listen up any of you feminists: If you believe in women's rights, then you should vehemently oppose terrorists for what they are: terrorists.  Islam opposes you and desires to make slaves of you to serve men.  What do you dominatrices think of that?

I have said that I am willing to live in peace with all people, and I am.  However, some people would rather see me dead just because my skin is white, my religion is no religion, and my flag is red, white and blue.  911 was no joke.  The World Trade Center crumbled September 11, 2001.  Osama bin Laden, leader of al-Qaeda, laughed at us, and most of Islam laughed with him.  Open your eyes to the truth.  Open your minds to see that we have been shoved into a corner with guns pointed at our heads.  The only option is kill or be killed.

8:26 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Embitterment kills
Current mood: pensive
Category: Romance and Relationships

What children don't need

The child tried to do.  He tried to do well.  When finished, he smiled, proud of his accomplishment; and beaming with excitement, he sought his father's approval.

"You missed a spot," the elder said.

Undaunted by the response, the boy tried harder during his next attempt to please him of whom he sought approval.  This time his work was better.  Certainly, I will please father, he believed when he presented the result of his effort.

"You should have done this," father said.

The boy's countenance sank, but his determination strengthened while he strove again to win his parent's favor.  This time, the teenager paid attention to details, seeking to eliminate conceivable problems his mind imagined might occur.  When finished, he smiled with a feeling of success concerning his work.  This time father would approve.

"It has to be better if you want to succeed," the parent said.

The product was not good enough again.  He must do better.  Determined to please, the young man planned before tackling the task at hand.  He slowed down his pace while working, correcting the potential flaws he thought his father would see.  Worried he would fail, he stopped to survey his work in progress and to check his performance to ensure that no fault would be uncovered.  After what seemed an eternity, he finished what he considered a flawless product, and presented this to his father.

"You'll never get there like that," father said.

At the end of every task, the male parent always pointed to some fault.  Nothing the man accomplished was ever good enough.  Even in education and jobs, he failed to please the elder.  Every course of study was the wrong choice.  Every journey on a career path was the wrong way.

"You won't succeed at that," rang in the man's ears at every turn.  "You should be this.  You should be that. You should do this.  You should do that.  You didn't do this.  You didn't do that.  You haven't made anything useful of yourself.  You should have done such and such when you had a chance.  It's too late for you now.  No one is going to want you at this point in your life."

One golden afternoon, the son walked along the mountain ridge he had traveled a thousand times.  He stopped and pondered about an eagle he saw gliding in the azure sky.  The avian was free.  It lived, going about its activities without thinking how it would catch its next fish, build its nest, attract its mate, or feed its offspring.  The eagle acted on instinct, and instinct served it well.  The bird is fortunate, he deduced.

From his perch on the ridge, the man looked at the surrounding mountains nestled under a blanket of green forest.  The peaceful scene, a serene painting, beckoned him to step into its picture, so he threw himself off the cliff.  His father, who had been watching from a distance, looked at the mangled body, broken on the jagged rocks.

"You were supposed to perform a double twist and triple backflip on the way down, son.  (You'll never learn.  You'll never get it right.)"

Legion, author
copyright Autumn 2005

Fathers, do not exasperate (NASB) / embitter (NIV) your children, so that they will not lose heart (NASB) / or they will become discouraged (NIV).
The Holy Bible, Colossians 3:21

11:01 PM - 5 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Can you interpret the following statement?
Category: Life

Be an oak; be a blade of grass.

11:33 PM - 5 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

He loves me, he loves me not.
Category: Romance and Relationships

He loves me, he loves me not

     A MySpace friend recently asked me this question: I wish you would enlighten me on affairs of the heart.  The beginning of a relationship when your in the gray area ... you aren't sure where you stand ... and afraid to give of yourself so openly for fear of being hurt.  You want to know how the other person really feels ... but afraid to know too.

My response.

     George Orwell spoke of a Party concept in his novel 1984.  Within its pages, the spin-doctors of the Ministry of Truth said ignorance is bliss.  Orwell epitomized this idea in Julia, Winston's sex kitten.  For her, Eurasia was Oceana's enemy.  That Eastasia was the enemy last week did not matter to her.  In fact, very little mattered to Julia other than the sexual trysts shared with Winston.  When Winston commented that he wanted everyone to be corrupt to the bone, Julia responded by saying, "Well then, I ought to suit you, dear.  I am corrupt to the bones."

    Julia possessed a simple heart of the moment.  She did not worry about facts and figures.  She simply lived in the moment.  Whether Winston loved her or not did not matter.  She enjoyed Winston and the pleasure he gave her.

    We can stand on the edge of the river's bank, looking at the opposite bank.  We can ponder what is on the other side until our skin wrinkles, our hairs gray, our voices crack, and our bodies finally die; but we will never know the opposite bank until we swim or paddle to that side of the river.  Basically two choices exist: ride the wave of what is without concern considering feelings, emotions, thoughts and intentions of the other party, or paddle the canoe to the opposite shore.

    The question to answer is this: Do you really want to know?  Either knowing matters or knowing does not matter.  If knowing matters then grab an oar and cross to the other side, for only a river crossing will provide the answer.  To sit on the bank in speculation will only frustrate your spirit.  Simply by asking the question, you have stated that knowing is paramount to your peace in spirit.  An answer is required; otherwise your spirit cannot rest.

    Yes, you face the possibility of disappointment by learning the truth.  However, truth sets you free.  Without truth, speculation exists and uncertainty abounds.

     What do you seek?  The answer to this question will either prompt you to cross the river or simply ride the wave of bliss upon which you surf at this time.  Worry not about the potential for disappointment and emotional pain.  Either you will experience one or both, or you will experience bliss and assuredness.  I believe you want to know the truth, so seek it.

Copyright March 27, 2006

10:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Black Hole to Purgatory
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Black Hole to Purgatory

..[if !supportEmptyParas]-->
Verse One

Your fingers push me out of reach

Until I learn the lies you preach

Your bitter lips ensnare my soul

My chest bursts forth a gaping hole

..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]-->

Bridge to Chorus

I slit the dogs throats just for you

I crawl on broken glass on queue

My body writhes in sweat and swill

Your blood is my oblation pill

..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]-->

Chorus

You draw me in with your commands

Fire and knives in your sweet hands

To cut and burn the one you hold

There is no love within your soul

..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]-->

Verse Two

You say Im yours, Im such the fool

To feel so special in your rule

You make me laugh, you make me cry

You burn me up, I want to die

..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]-->

Bridge to Chorus two

I spit on Gods cross just for you

I lie in blackened ash accused

My muscles bend like blades of grass

I bleed my wrists to fill your glass

..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]-->

Chorus

..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]-->

Third verse

From milking breasts I cant depart

You are the savior; Im the art

I die each day I live for you

Im clay you mold to make me you

..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]-->

Bridge to Chorus three

I lie on beds of nails for you

I swim in human waste abused

My foreskin slides back as we meet

In you I always feel complete

..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]-->

Copyright September 30, 1999

10:00 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment