I think too much, this is an old journal entry.
Current mood: jedi
Category: Religion and Philosophy

     Why are people so cruel? It seems they are always on the offensive, always on attack mode. Always full of wants and always striving for control. If we were meant to have control, then we would be in control. But since we were not, let us then strive for freedom, that is freedom from our constant desires for things we don't need.

6:55 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Some more of my ’observations’.
Current mood: enlightened
Category: Blogging

      I haven't blogged in awhile and with good reason. I ran outta things to say. But now, i've had some time to think about things. What i have to say may at first seem random, but it's all intricately connected. Not to each other paragraph, but to life in general. It's important, in order to understand my point of view,  to read these blogs over and over, until they're fused with your way of thinking. Maybe i'm full of it. The only way you'll find that out is if you read on. It makes no difference to me.

      I realize that the things that i've written will probably make no worldwide difference, but it is my sincere hope that it all changes the way YOU think. Or in the least strengthens YOUR resolve. These blogs aren't for my benefit, they are for yours    (whoever you are).

   I have noticed certain mechanical behaviours in people. The things they buy, eat, how they spend their time, i've taken note of their appearances and how they greet each other. I sense the emotions in they voices and see they moods etched on their faces. I can even sense how they feel just by looking in their eyes. They can lie to me, but i know the truth. I'm not blind. What they feel is written all over their bodies. I notice their strides and everything else. Make no mistake, i am not a stalker, nor am i an obsessive creep who gets his jollies off watching people. I don't make it a habit. I just do it. Its mechanical. Automatic. Or maybe i'm lying.... naw.

    It's pretty funny to watch people who get pissed off just because they're not getting materials that they want. Apparently they think that these materials can give them happiness. Well, think again. The more things that you get, the  more you want. And the desire to get more drives you mad. You become a slave to what you own, to what you want. Lust, alcohol, drugs, sleeping around, etc.

     Most people are double-minded, two-faced, saying one thing and acting a certain way around some people, whilst doing something completely diferent in the midst of another group. Not to mention what they do in private. If you aren't disciplined in your private life, then it could just leak into your outside world life. The song "Persona" By Blue Man Group" is kinda about this.

    Men.
I do believe that aggression is a useful tool for us. If it's used properly. I feed off adrenaline from time to time. Using this gives you energy til you find rest, whether its to get your work done, a project finished,  or to show your special lady friend how you work it. It can be useful. I don't like jealously however. It's deadly. So is hatred.
   Getting so upset with your children to the point of striking them in the face, or causing bodily harm to them or to your lady is simply un-fuckin-acceptable. If you get drunk alot, try to ease off a bit. If you can't, well, then you must be a slave to the drink. Live Clear headed, and stay alert.


 Spending time with someone special is NEVER a waste of time. Having that closeness is rare and something to cherish. Whether it's holding her in your arms, or watching her dance in rain, or opening yourself up to her and crying your eyes out. The touch, the love of a woman is indescribable. They have something that cannot be taken or copied. They are the mothers.

      Men have their reasons for holding back their sensitive side. Most woman claim that they want a man to be more sensitive and open with their feelings. While this is true in most cases, i don't think that it applies until the man and woman have become real close. Because, despite our rough exteriors, we are afraid to open up, because their is a HUGE risk of rejection and/or misunderstanding, or a feeling of being weak. Men are stereotyped as having to be strong and stern. With no room for complaints, crying, or anything but stubborn and close- minded. That's just the way it is, and I'm not complaining.

     "Instead of wondering why people use drugs, we should wonder what makes them want to use them", or does that mean the same thing??? You tell me....


  I believe in expression. I think that everyone is entitled to expressing themselves, through clothing styles, music, blogs, IM, etc.

"The more rules there are, the more rulebreakers there will be."

 I don't expect the world to change because "I" want it to. I know that things will continue as they always have. Balance will be had, wars will wage on, crime, rapings, abuse, hopelessness, sorrow, hunger, disasters, murder, strife.....all of it will continue whether i want it to or not. But at least i can try  to change it. All i wanna know is...who's coming with me man?!

 Things wont be so bad forever, the promise of paradise has already been given. I have no doubt that suffering will end.
 Pain is nessacery though, it teaches us who to trust, what to say, what we can do to improve our physical condition, and so forth. 
               
                - I apologize for these random topics. -

How do we find time to do the all of this stuff? We cram all of these activities into our short lives and we move around so much and so fast. It seems like we're all in a hurry. Why do we complicate our minds? Our attachments to our desires and ways of doin stuff is usually the primary cause of so-called suffering that we Americans endure. Life is hard, no doubt, but you can't give up. That is our lesson. Don't ever give up. Never take your own life. Never give in to drugs. Drugs are the tool of  the government, and in essence, the tool of the Beast. But never mind that. Drugs make life harder. So does hatred and bigotry. We can get past all this. We don't need to suffer.

  What you need is someone who will listen to you, and love you. - I despise it when people rush through deep conversation. Understanding is refreshing and calming.
  Then again, some people don't deserve a moment of your time.

 As we go through our busy lives, problems will arise, oppurtunities missed, love unnoticed, relationships will deepen, lovers will become more, saints more faithful, heathen will sink, druggies will overcome.... We all will learn our places here. All of us will realize our importance on this earth. We will be given many chances, so don't worry about tomorrow. Don't let one single thing destroy the beautiful and rich person that you are. Let yourself be overflowed with love. Feel it.

I'm gonna continue with these blogs, and with my energy. I am these writings. When you read them, i am there with you. Don't think for a second that you are alone, citizen of earth.
That's all i got.

                               Thanks! xo.
                                                -Sir Chris Lancelot

4:35 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Some more insight into the life of chris warren.
Current mood: triumphant
Category: Life

 So, here it is:
 I am getting stronger in my faith in Christ and am getting to know sum of my friends better. I'm gaining insight into life and Scripture. My love for Christ is increasing daily and so is our relationship. Some friends of mine think i'm foolish for following The Anointed One, they don't have to say it either..i can tell from their faces and the way they treat me. I'm not upset though, i am blessed by the Son of Man and feel his Love teaching me how to live for Him. I don't need mans approval.   If people wanna hate me cause i love Jesus, then i am blessed even more and i don't need em ( the people ).. cause they don't know what their missing. So, that's my faith blog.
Next:
   I feel lonely alot, it doesn't make me depressed, but i do get sad sometimes. I guess being single has its advanages though.
 My brother has often offered to hook me up wit some of the skanks he knows ( if you knew him like i do than you'd know why i call those chicks skanks), but i don't trust his judgement. i don't want a whore, i want a woman, and yes there is a difference. But, i suppose that romance can wait. I know that God is preparing the woman for me, and me for her.

  I still haven't figured out what i want to do.. ye know like as in like a career, college.. that sorta thing. i am just trying to save up money for the time being.. and just trying to work on my behaviour as a christian. Don't know what life has in store for me.. i chat with my friends and ask them what they think about stuff. i'll listen to their versions of truth and then compare what they said to scripture, and then i pray to find out where they stand. ( Try to understand )

   Work sucks, when i'm there, i'm up in the clouds, flying with the wild birds. That's it for the work section.

 Lately, in my spare time, i've been catching up on some  reading. Been minimizing my time watching the t.v. so that my brain doesn't get lazy. My memory is still lagging though. Like, i find it hard to concentrate and remember stuff that people tell me. It's really embarrasing. I have ADHD, so that really sucks!  I do my best to stay focused. 

     I remember all the people, all the parties, the girls, the drama. Oh my God.... so much drama back then. Just thinkin about it all makes me wanna cry and curl up. Those days were so bad. I wasted my life. I remember everything. The hate, the discord, sorrow, all of that. I had a piece of all of it. Looking back, i see that it was a horrible period of my life. It haunts me every now and then. Sometimes it causes me to be silent. Sometimes it all  comes at me all at once, and i have to stop, wipe my eyes, and sigh. .....well, what's done IS done..the slate has been cleaned.
That pain has been removed, joy and understanding have replaced it.


 What is it that destroys goodness? How is cruelty allowed to fester and grow in the heart like a parasite? I know that death
(literal and metaphorical) is a natural part of life, and sooner or later we have to deal with it.  I will get over it,  i  don't wanna discuss it anymore. I am shutting it off, that part of me is gone, and i refuse to talk about it. It wouldn't get me anywhere. I'm cool, just needed to say it. Tis all. Don't worry, Chris Warren is the dude, the dude will live on man. No sweat.  I was speaking of metaphorical death by the way. I refer to it alot. Yes, i was traumatized, sorta. But thanks to Matt and Ben, i got over it. Read my life, and watch my story unfold. I don't lie about it. Except for that part about katie getting married:) i don't even know any katies. Sorry.

2:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

ok. Marriage. Heres what i think.
Category: Romance and Relationships

 marriage is a complete spiritual joining. the vows are declared and the commitment is, also, declared. i think that if you get married, then your life, as you know it, becomes complete. the void, filled. your heart is no longer empty. your heart should feel uplifted and your eyes should feel as if a veil has been removed from them. i dont think either party should have to worry about betrayal, and yet with most couples, it seems as if one or the other is almost always worrying that the other is checking someone out or isn't interested anymore and wants to go out with someone else or wants to become a swinger. i would never cheat on my wife ( if i had one ) nor would i check out other chicks. I'm no perv. some people would disagree, saying that, " all guys want is sex and you cant say that you don't check out the lady's". sex isn't the only thing on our minds, and you lady's think about sex just as much as dudes do, don't even deny it. and it's not impossible not to check out the ladies ( or dudes, if ur a chick). All it takes is a little self restraint. and yes i haved looked before. Blah blah! back to the topic. when a couple get married they should immediately agree to eliminate the word, divorce. there isn't a problem in the world that can't be solved. when i get married, divorce will never be an option. come on people, work through your problems. marriage isn't a VHS tape that gets worn out after so long. its a gift from God, and one that shouldn't be abused. Also, physical abuse, and emotional abuse should never enter the scene. i was traumatized with having to witness the abusive nature of my mother during my late childhood and also, with knowing of her relationship with the devil through witchcraft and her  uncontrollable lust that, has destroyed the person that she once was. These things happen. they don't have to. but with some discipline and self control, and most importantly, prayer, you can overcome these obstacles. it was written that ' a woman is a gift to the young man, she subdues his lust and brings him into balance'. its not word for word, but you got the picture.
           I am so tired of hearing about people who cheat on their spouse. why can't people control their lust? you see, this is why i don't go to clubs or strip bars. those places open doors in you and make room for all kinds of evil. think about it. your in a relationship, you go to a club, you see the exotic dancers or the hot chicks ( or dudes, whatever), and you start to want their body. lust. you know i'm right. no, i'm not a square, i am just being honest about how i feel about this stuff. you can have lots of fun without going to some bar or club. the key to marriage is this: ( and i've mentioned it many times ) L-O-V-E. do you want me to spell it again? how hard is it? you either love someone or you don't. which is it? cause if you didn't love the person when you got married, then what the hell are doing in the relationship? Marriage isn't an obligation, as i said before it's a gift from God. you are united, you are no longer seperate entity's but one being.

 Love is not a mistake.
Why do people make excuses for divorcing? " She never loved me, " He never opened up to me," We didn't get along". Are you in kindergarden? It's unbelievable how easily people give up in their marriages ( or relationships for that matter ). We've come so far in technology and intelligence and yet we still can't get along or work through our problems. It's pitiful. Never give  up. Don't lose hope. " Run the race with endurance..." What, are we afraid? What is there to be afraid of? Open up, talk. Are we not human beings capable of communication? Are we afraid to speak? We talk to ourselves, why? Because we trust ourselves, and we know more about ourselves than anyone else.

    i don't care if anyone agrees with me or not. My opinion about this subject won't change. People, i have just one more thing to say to yous: Patience. Patience. Patience.

 that's all i have to say about marriage, for now.

 If you have anything you'd like to add, please do so. I'd appreciate any feedback. If you think that i'm in err, then please tell me why you think so.

             Thank you for reading.  I'll be back again.
                                                                     - Chris

10:08 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

i stole this blog from a very wise man, this dude is so right. I wish i came up with this.
Current mood: satisfied
Category: Life

I actually believe this, I've even said most of this numerous times
Current mood: hyper

5:42 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

This one belongs to the englishman...
Current mood: tired
Category: Writing and Poetry

             The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land,
       Plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky:  
A man lies and dreams of green fields and rivers,
But awakes to a morning with no reason for waking,
He's haunted by the memory of a lost paradise,
In his youth or a dream, he can't be precise,
He's chained forever to a world that's departed,
It's not enough, it's not enough.
His blood has frozen and curdled with fright,
His knees have trembled and given way in the night,
His hand has weakened at the moment of truth,
His step has faltered,
          One WORLD, One SOUL,
    Time passes, the river's roll,
And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication,
And silent replies that swirl invitation,
Flow dark and troubled to an oily sea,
A grim imitation of what is to be,
There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night,
And there's dust in my eyes, that blinds my sight.
And silence that speaks so much louder than words,
      Of promises broken....

7:46 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

You know I’m right.
Current mood: sweaty
Category: Romance and Relationships

Life. What is it? The existence of intelligent life? The existence of mammals? It has been said that life is much more than this crude matter that we exist in. I think of life as an adventure, a journey, but this journey has no end, or at least not the end that most people fathom. We've started out on the voyage, we have our crew, and we have our hearts to guide us when we're unsure of ourselves. Upon embarking on this quest to find out the meaning of life, don't neglect yourselves or others. All of us are on this Earth for a reason, and  guess what...we're in this together.

                                        I think that the purpose of life is this, and it's nothing new:  Love. Love  is  a  necessity. Without love, our life as we know it would cease to exist. Love is the glue. Love is unconditional!!  Let me sidetrack this mo'fo fer a sec to define my definition of what a lover's love is: The love that  two people share is a gift, why would anyone desire to abuse it and then leave it to rot away in a dark room? How can people be so cold? Why all of the bickering and insults? Do people think that love fades? Do people want only sex from attractive mates? Is sex love? No. It isn't. Sex was originally intended to be used as a physical expression of love between a man and a woman, it's a gift.You give away a part of yourself when you do it. Sex is a complete joining between 2 people. Don't destroy sex by abusing your mate's heart. I am agaisnt one-night-stands, I am agaisnt going to a bar to meet a lady that i've never seen.
  I have a unique view, you see, because I am an observer, that's my gift. I can see right through the lies. I know how the world spins, i'm not stupid.  Come to appreciate the things that we're, and are, GIVEN to you. 
   What pisses me off are the whores (guys AND girls) who do people and then leave them after they get bored. Some people act as if love is some kind of joke. As if it means nothing to them, they act as if they're shopping at a mall. Come on! This isn't some kind of game where you get to pick and choose and then discard when your finished.  I wish that people would change their evil ways of not being a good relationship-type-of people. 

                        All I'm saying is this: be gentle, yet firm, in your girlfriend/boyfriend relationships and for God's sake, love each other. Nobody wants to be hurt, and I don't want to see a hurt people, i want to see a healed people.
  
     I recommend that we all stop every once and a while and take a look around, take a look inside. Examine yourselves, your motives, your reasoning.  Try to imagine the Big Picture. How would you like to be remembered? Think.

1:29 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I used to sit alone on the bleachers in school
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Romance and Relationships

Hey, it's me again. I think I'm in love. A long time ago I met this really  awesome   girl who was very interested in me, and I didn't notice it at the time. I was an idiot. Now, years later, I have come to find her again. She's even more beautiful. I love her personality and her sense of humor. We have alot in common.I hope that someday soon, she and I will get together so that I can tell her these things instead of typing on myspace. I feel that she and I are connected. Gosh, I really want to see her again. She is the most incredible woman I've ever met. I don't know how to tell her how I feel , but I've got to, I think I love her. She's been hurting alot lately because of a recent break-up, so I don't want to  move in too fast. I really like her, so I don't want to screw things up.  I only hope that she feels the way I do. I love you Sarah Michelle Gellar! I always have! And I always will.

9:45 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

my weakness....
Current mood: sad
Category: but right. Life

I never should've pressured him. That was wrong on my part.I didn't have to give in either. But I did.It wasn't that bad though. I enjoyed it. I wish I didn't though. I shouldn't continue it, but I think I will. I know what is right and wrong. But, I do the things that I hate and don't do the things that I should do. What could I be talking about? Actually, thats none of your business. I just need to blow some steam. And this is one of the only places where i can express myself. I don't have many friends, ( let alone friends who get online regularly to view my myspace), nsd. And since this is my blog, I can type anything i want...and i don't owe anyone an explaination for any of this. well that's it for now. Ta Ta.

7:57 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

young but elderly....
Current mood: drained
Category: Blogging

   Well, here i am again. What to whine about now? Hm. Listen: I know that nobody reads  my myspace, so i feel perfectly safe typing my feelings in this blog. I honestly dont know how much more i can take. It seems that with every decision i make something goes awry. I dont want to be  known as the "jerk". I do my best to keep the reins on my emotions, but every time i steer the horse back on the trail someone comes along and throws stones at my steeds head. I kid you, not. Believe me, i wish it weren't so. I try to sustain a positive attitude and maintain an aura of peace, but with so much opposition it's hard not to falter. Keeping eternity in mind helps sometimes, but overall, my rage has the final say ( whether i want it to or not). My rage governs me, it gives me focus, and protects me from temporary harm. As I go about my daily business, the rage inside of  me  continues to grow. - Flow. Swim WITH the river, not against it. 

              I'm also tired of people  giving me advice every time I pour out my feelings. I don't want advice this time, I just want to say what's on my mind, without having someone who doesn' know me, blurt out a bunch of  crap designed to make me feel good. I'm not saying that they are wrong to advise me or wrong to encourage me.  I just want to express myself. I'm still a christian, I'm not abandoning my faith or friends. I'm just being me...for once.

6:09 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment