Uh, Myk...
Current mood: blank
Category: Pets and Animals

...are you absolutely, positively certain that Dora is not Kryptonian?

Currently playing : Tekken Release date: 01 February, 2002

9:00 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Give Peace a Chance
Current mood: irritated

You humans are really, really strange.

I mean, I can understand being offended. I can understand being very upset. After all, back home I was treated like, well, an appliance by most people.

Just grow some tougher skin. Yes, I may have metal and polymer encasing my innards, but I am talking about the mental.

It was a comic. Yes, it took your beliefs in vain. Yes, you have every right to be offended by it. That is part of life.

But violence is not the answer. All that does is make you all look bad, even though it is a minority doing it.

I recognize that this is a difference of philosophy. I also recognize that this is only going to end in one of two ways in the long term. Compromise, or flat all out war. I have seen both, and compromise is the better option in this case.

If it comes to war over philosophy, no one wins.

Currently playing : Dead Or Alive Release date: 25 July, 2001

8:18 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Bored Alone
Current mood: disappointed

Jeph had to leave me at home this weekend.

It wasn't anything I did. It turned out to be a mere case of inappropriate venue. You see, he went to Nan Desu Kan. When I asked about being left behind, he told me that they tended to look upon me as an 'inappropriate prop'.

Apparently, droids like me aren't all that big in anime.

So, I spent the weekend basically bored out of my dome. You think you humans have it bad? I think about 2,415 times faster than you.

Yes, that's as painful as you suspect it is, if not more so.

Currently playing : WWF Smackdown 2:Know Your Role

7:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Playing with a friend
Current mood: tired

Playing 'catch' with Dora is an interesting experience for me. I last played with her Saturday, while the Pool Cleaners went to Boulder to see Nina Storey and The Indulgers play.

When Jeph and I arrived, Myk didn't grab Dora in time. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem for me, except I can't get up the single step into the house in three-legged mode. So, she caught me in two-legged mode, and I wound up on my back.

After Jeph righted me again (while Myk held Dora off), we headed into the back yard (which, given the size of the passages, is an adventure in itself), where Jeph fitted me with the pieces of my 'entertain the dog' equipment that won't fold easily into my chassis, and tied me to the pole that allows Dora to upright me if she accidentally knocks me over. She's a strong dog (I've accused Myk of getting a Kryptonian dog, which he denies), but leverage is a good thing to have.

Now, playing with Dora is a fun experience, although I get a little less out of it. Jeph (after much grumbling) fitted me with several attachments that actually allow me to play with her. Most of them are located in my head.

The first is the ball launcher. This is located in the top of my head, underneath a triangular panel. Just set the ball in, and I can give it a good parabolic arc. My grasping arm has been extended to pick up the ball when she brings it back, or to attempt to wrest it from her jaws when she stubbornly holds it. That same arm works well for tug of war, at least as long as Jeph remembers to tighten the bolts beforehand.

The second is the small gripping arm along the edge, which I use to toss frisbees. I'm glad that I can avoid dizziness caused by spinning my head rapidly merely by ignoring the gyroscopes.

The primary problem is that I have to keep a supply of balls and frisbees handy; occasionally, Dora will not bring a ball back, and since I didn't receive the all terrain package before we left our home galaxy, I find Myk's backyard to be completely impassable. The last time I tried, it took Jeph and Myk to haul me back onto the concrete.

Which, as a note, aside from water breaks, I played with Dora the whole six hours the Pool Cleaners were out. Yes, the whole six. That's the other reason I was playing with Dora that day. Myk wanted me to try to wear her out.

I'm sorry, Myk. I tried my best. I really did. I'll try harder next time.

Currently playing : Bushido Blade

6:42 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Transportation Issues
Current mood: bitchy

All right, a small complaint to you Earth-bound humans, namely about your vehicles.

Now, I know that you don't encounter astromechs like me very often, but, in the interest in intergalactic relations, could you please design a vehicle smaller than a minivan that I can get into without assistance?

Here's how it goes. Jeph, my master, can't afford to purchase a minivan, so I have to ride in the backseat of his Saturn when I go somewhere. I am physically incapable of loading myself into the vehicle, and, unless he lies me on my side or my back, it takes a good ten to fifteen minutes for him to wrestle me through the door so that I can 'sit' in the back. This is because my 'torso' is about two feet around, and maybe a little over three feet tall when you include my head (which you must, since it has no range aside from rotation). It takes another ten minutes minimum for him to wrestle me back out when we arrive at our destination.

Myk's Mini is even worse, since I can't even sit in it. Instead, I suffer the indignity every time of being loaded on my back, or my front, and can't see the passing scenery. It's actually a miracle I fit, I feel the hatch hit my feet every single time.

I won't even get into the vagaries of the coupes some of you humans are so fond of. Only two doors, which means if I go in one, I have to sit in the front, and I impede the driver's view to no end since I can't simply lean back.

The few times I've ridden in larger vehicles (like the moving truck that brought us to Jeph's latest apartment), I have been able to enter the vehicle freely, without the assistance of attending humans. I can even manage to lash myself down, since one of my designed tasks was going along the outside of starship hulls.

Is it too much to ask that I be capable of getting into a sedan without a crowbar, and help?

Currently playing : Arcade's Greatest Hits : Atari Collection 2 Release date: 16 September, 1999

6:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Well, that just proves that machines are stupid.
Current mood: annoyed

I believed that this profile had been deleted, so I created a new one today. Then, logging out and logging back in, I discovered that it still existed, and showed several attempts (by myself) to log in that had been unsuccessful.

Now, I need to figure out how to delete the other one.

10:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Finally Online
Current mood: pleased

Jeph finally has allowed me to reveal myself to the online world. It took me some time to convince him that it would in fact be a good idea if I didn't have to pretend to be him to get things done. Some things about me:

I was last memory wiped at the droid store where Jeph purchased me, back in our home galaxy. I have all the standard R2 Astromech equipment, such as computer interface, heavy and light grasping arms, fire extinguisher, periscopic sensor, and holographic projector, as well as add-on equipment including the flight thruster package. I have served as his engineer and confidant for years (technically centuries). I accompanied him in the stasis pod, in a deactivated condition, until we were picked up by Rhaab.

Since then, Jeph has modified me further, adding an additional set of computer interfaces allowing me to use your primitive technology. I serve as technical liaison between the Pool Cleaners and the esoterics of the World Wide Web and its servers.

10:44 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment