More info

Hello all - just wanted to update you.  I am 33 weeks pregnant, for those that do not know pregnancy is 40 weeks, it's the final countdown!!!  I wanted to let you know that I post on another blog photos and updates pretty regularly so if you want to BOOKMARK it and keep up with us please do so.  http://hillmancrew.blogspot.com

Lots of love to all - stay in touch.

Mandi

8:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Playing hookie is fun

Is that how you spell hookie (well, suck it up...cuz that's how I'm spelling it). 

So Friday, I was finally off my flu induced death bed.  I had an illness unrelated doctors appointment and Keiser jokingly said that he could play hookie and take me to the appt. in far off Trenton.  I said sure....well about 2 seconds later, and not much clear (finacially responsible) thinking later he had called in ah-em...'sick'.

It was spring like on Friday and we had an awesome day.  Why is it you always have more fun on a day that you're 'stealing' away from 'the man' than you do on normal weekend days.  I don't know how or what all happend, we laughed, we cried, and it all ended with a maccaroni/sink water hose fight in our kitchen - brilliant!!!

Then Saturday, I won't up on the wrong side of the bed (I am sure hormones were not involved - HA).  Anywho, that didn't stop us from taking the puppy - who is 2.5 and 150lbs to the off-leash dog park.  Along the way we go lost somewhere in Jersey....and I enjoyed making fun of Keiser for that.  Then we got covered in muddy paws, slobbers, and dirt from all the puppies saying hello.  "Beethoven" had fun too.

The night concluded with Keiser determining that he was going to make home-made bread.  It's all good, but he it was 6:30 by this point and he needed rye flour.  Now how many of you have ever seen rye flour at the supermarket.  If you have, it's rare.  So when he comes home empty handed at 7:15, he decided to head to another store to try again.  He comes home empty again.  Finally, at 8:00PM he starts making bread.  He was up until midnight (on a spring ahead DST night....DORK).

It was good bread though!!! :)

Today, was another great day.  I'm still in 'the zone' recovery from this cold/flu funk I've had and I must be high on vitamins or just high (who knows).  Anyway I decided today's activity, after Keiser got back from golf...told you it was warm, was to play pick on Keiser.  Not in a mean way, but in a way that made him call Scott (our pastor) and ask if he did excorsisms.  Apparently he thought I was possessed by a 5 year old annoying child!!! Everytime he made a face of even slight amusement it just encouraged me.  I even jumped on the couch.  WOW...maybe there was an extra ingredient in that bread afterall. 

What a weekend.

....remember the good times!

3:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

my husband

Oh how I know I have married the right man.  Yesterday was our 1 year engagment anniversary (yes the day before V-day, thank goodness). He came home with a card and a gift....I didn't do anything (I'm clearly a schmuck).  The card sweet, lovely, nice, all that.  Then he hands me this cute little gift bag that says with love. In the bag was a pint of ice cream.  I just laughed and smiled thinking this is the perfect gift!!! I married a man that really knows me, and knows what makes me laugh.  I am so happy that we don't have to stand on ceremony, and are able to be who we really are with one another.  And I am a girl that can be made happy with a pint of ice cream....still a cheap date after all this time!

1:00 PM - 5 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

another vent

So I know I only seem to blog when I am annoyed or frustrated.  I guess it's my way of saving my friends from having to hear it. 

It's my birthday on friday, big wahoo.  I really could care less about it.  I don't know why, but my birthday (especially this one) has been a source of depression and anxiety for the last couple years.  Not happy.

And to add to this, there are some new people in my life - that it would seem don't care about me at all.  If it's not about them and their priorities it's unimportant - meaning I'm unimportant.  They also seem to be under the impression that doing things differently equals bad and evil.  Just because I'm not like you, don't prioritize my life like you (money first - family last) doesn't mean I'm a bad person or out to harm.  In fact, I think it's quite the opposite, but that's just me. 

My birthdate is very close to the b-day of one of these new to my life persons.  This person is much older than I (supossed to indicate maturity), however the person is basically throwing tantrums to get attention and pity from others, which includes me. 

It's not all about you.

Like I said, the last thing I want is a big deal on my anxiety causing birthday's, but a little kindness would be nice.  But, because I am different (equalling evil) I am being ignored and basically tossed aside like no-good-nonsense.  I am really having enough trouble this time of year (for many reasons) this is adding pain and hurt I could really deal without.

I'm just tired.

7:00 AM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

what about me
Current mood: annoyed

So we are having the 'reception' in NJ on the 28th of Oct.  Keiser and I agreed from the begining that we wanted to celebrate our wedding with people from both Iowa and NJ in some form of a reception.  Keiser's parents offered to host the party.  We quickly learned this meant that is was their money, their party.  We've been told all along that was not the case however, it seems to just ironically happend that whatever his mother picks out...that's what we end up going with.

Well saturday it all came to a head.  We basically got yelled at (like the 5 year olds that we are) for trying to hand over the reigns. We were saying we know you're game (prentending like it's our party and doing what you want anyway) and we are not going to play anymore.  That wasn't well received and we left feeling like the bad guys. 

I basically feel like they totally hate me.  Regardless of the fact they may drive me crazy at times, I don't hate them or want them to hate me in any way.  They used to love me and think I was the best thing in the world for their son....now what...I'm just a bitch.

The ONE thing I knew I wanted for this party was a photographer.  I messed up big time and hired a crappy photographer (local) for the wedding.  I hae 1 picture (that sucks) of my sister and I and a few of a my family.  This is really really hard for me, becaue photos matter so much to me.  I asked a photog friend if she was available for the party and she was.  We told them it would cost $600 to have her do the party.  They said they would only pay for $300, but all the food, DJ, decor, etc.  is on them...just not the photographer.  WHAT THE HELL is that supposed to mean.  Okay guys again 'it's your party' you just can't have what you want.  How is that not supossed to be interpreted as hurtful....they know how much it matters to me.  And they must know how much it hurts to take it away....why would they do that. 

I'm just tired of it  I just want to celebrate with my Friend and loved ones from NJ...not be a pawn in the Barb and Rob show.  What do I do?

ARG.

9:22 AM - 6 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

It came and went
Current mood: relaxed
Category: Life

WoW, so I've been married a month today.  hardly seems real.  Our wedding day truly was a beautiful blur.  When you have an outdoor event it's so dependent on the weather and we knew we just had to totally depend on God....and he totally provided!!! The weather had been hot and humid all week...even the day of the wedding.  About 15mins before the ceremony the temp. seriously dropped about 10 degrees and this gentle breeze picked up on the beach.   The sun was setting and it was Gorgeous!

We said our vows barefoot on the beach at sunset.  18 people were there, and it was just perfect for us.  We had our first dance right next to the surf.  So cool!!!

We partied the night away with our closest friends and family.  I could not have asked for more.

Mrs. Mandi Hillman

2:08 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

It's Here
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Life

Okay, so the time has finally come.  My wedding day is just one week away...at this time next week I will be walking down the asile....WOW!!!!

I am just so overwhelmed and so thrilled at the same time.  Truly just total excitment.  I cannot wait to marry Keiser.  Every detail that is supposed to be coming together is, and everything that's not just wasn't meant to be.  All I want is to be standing barefoot in the sand looking into his beautiful loving eyes and saying "I do".

I'm tired and ready for a nap.  We get on a plane in 2 days!!!!!

There is this other part of me that is sad this phase is over.  It was a similar feeling when my trip around the world ended.  So much excitement to come home and to 'finish' a goal - accomplish a dream.   But a sense of sadness that it was coming to an end, maybe it's more just a wondering of the heart, what will I start to long for next....my next big adventure....and if any of you write babies, I might smack yah!!!

Love.

6:19 PM - 3 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

more stuff
Current mood: nauseated
Category: Life

So now I am like little miss Blogger. I guess it's because I had hoped I would have kept a journal of all my thoughts and emotions about getting married and going through this process and I haven't so now I'm on overload (16 days and counting) and trying to 'catch-up'.  

So I got the dress had it fitted and it will be ready on Friday, but I still am having doubts.  Why can't I be happy with any decision I make?  Seriously what is wrong with me?  I am still just second guessing everything.  It's like 105 degrees outside and I am working out like a champ and exhausted all the time and WORK, who's heard of that....good thing it's slow these next two weeks, because I sure seem to be able to find ways to distract myself.  I feel like I am running around doing a million things and doing NOTHING at the same time. 

Which way is up?

12:40 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I have a wedding dress
Current mood: awake
Category: Life

So, after much worry, dread, and debate over my dress it finally arrived today....just as it should be.  It's the size and the color that I wanted, and it looks great.  I'm going to just get over all the BS I keep putting myself through and accept the decision that I made as a good one and fall in love with this dress...because it's the one that's going to take me down the asile to him!

11:24 AM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

life/craziness update
Current mood: overwhelmed
Category: overwhelmed Life

So I had this theory about the 'type' of 'bride' I would be, since I'm around them so much.   I was going to be so chilled and laid back, yet clever and organized.

Let me just give you all a little update on the reality of that situation.   My beloved and I like to refer to my 'bridal/life' related mood swings as hurricanes, we find the 1-5 Categories, tropical storms and depressions fit very well.  

The wedding is in 23 days...I haven't lost a pound, despite actually trying.  That's the thing that bugging me the most....I know I know - stupid, but it does. 

My wedding dress is somewhere is shipping hell and I don't know if it will be here on time.  No flowers, no cake, ummm FINALLY booked our flights (so we'll attend our own wedding).  And basically hurricane mandi just keeps sweeping the east coast of the US blowing away and reforming somewhere over the atlantic and slamming back into the coast.

Everybody tells me this is such a happy time, and it is....I want to marry Keiser.  I just can't help but feeling my life (my wedding) is happening around me and to me, not because of me.  I'm a control freak and I want more control, more time to enjoy this, more time to plan.  So maybe I am the Anti-Bride - if that means no planning and no clue.

All I know is that we're getting there and so is Pastor Scott...so the wedding will happen.  The rest, as they say, is all details.  I just wish I could leave it at that and stop worrying about it so much. 

Update: I don't have it together....I'm a total disaster - who's very much in love with her future husband - and that's all I know.  

5:44 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment