Set The Fire To The Third Bar
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Romance and Relationships

With no map to guide me
And not even a compass
Only the reflection of the nearest star to light my path
I trudge through unfamilar wilderness

It's beautiful here
Not at all frightening
Just a bit confusing
But I know I'll eventually stumble upon a stream that leads me to the lake
There's a boat tied to the dock at the lake
And a cabin where a fire is already ablaze in the fireplace
I'll warm myself by the fire
And feel truly at home

I'm close, I can feel it
But I know I have a bit of a journey ahead of me first
I turn to my endurance
The journey is exhausting at times
I move cautiously over the ground as it slips and sinks under my feet
The process is slow & arduous
And I'm sometimes unsure of myself
But I trust that I will find my way
The thought of the warmth of the cabin drives me on
It is worth so much more than the struggles of one silly journey
After all, the journey is likely to be repeated eventually

However, I'm enjoying the view, even from down here in the ravine
Exotic birds & insects all around
Moonlight reflecting
Textured trees swaying
The sound of the breeze through the Forrest canopy far above my head
The sense that wild animals are nearby, hiding in the shadows
No fear here though, only intrigue
I feel isolated but also a communial feeling with my surroundings
I'm curious and enraptured
I desire to learn as much about this wondrous place as time will allow

Currently listening : Live in London and Paris By Otis Redding Release date: 2008-09-23

4:15 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

To Have a Subject, or To Not Have a Subject? That is the Question.
Current mood: blank
Category: Life

I find myself feeling like a hypocrite on more of a regular basis than I would like. I consider myself to be open-minded so, by "more of a regular basis than I would like," I mean I would like to never ever feel that way. I suppose that's not a very realistic expectation, even for myself. There is so much to learn. There is not enough time. I will never know and understand all that I want to know and understand and, even if there was a way to implant the knowledge in me like, say, with some surgical procedure, I wouldn't want it. I enjoy the process as much as I enjoy the "end" result so simply obtaining the knowledge would certainly leave me feeling unfulfilled. Plus, much of the understanding of the knowledge comes through the process of obtaining it, at least, in my experience.
I feel sheltered. . . like a little kid still absorbing everything around me. I suppose I should expect to always feel this way. Age is supposed to mean wisdom but there are still SO many more years to live before I even begin to feel that I have earned the descriptor of "wise." It's very possible that I will never ever feel that way, even if I live to be 200 years old.
My desire to be wise is simply so that I no longer lack the understanding that makes me feel like a hypocrite. That is, truly, one of my primary motivations for obtaining wisdom, in addition to desiring to understand just for myself.
The constant thirst for knowledge and understanding leaves me with such contradictory feelings; fulfilled, jaded, overwhelmed, frustrated, empowered, motivated, dissatisfied.
I desire experience. I desire the experience of every person that has ever lived and will ever live but I also desire only my own experiences. At least, one of my desires will be met. That is better than none.
I find the desire to understand to be painful sometimes. I relate it to the desire to feel loved and I feel it as profoundly, possibly even more.

Currently listening : Dub Qawwali By Gaudi Release date: 2007-07-31

2:32 AM - 2 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

The Rain Reminded Me of an Additional Part of My Dream. . .
Current mood: calm
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

But this part,

the worst part,

I remembered, immediately, when I woke up;

I have no idea where you are but you are no longer with me.

I'm in a room full of friends, feeling completely alone.

More than I doubt your existence, I doubt the existence of what we have.

I wonder if what I thought I'd experienced had actually all just been a dream.

I doubt my sanity.

I can't speak.

There is no explanation. . .

How could we go from this to . . . nothing?

I'm lost. . . empty.

Even more empty than I'd been before you. . .

For now I am well aware of the void that you, so sweetly, fill.

I wake - in a cold sweat - breathless

A wave of relief rushes over me as I feel the warmth of your body close to mine.

I move closer to you and let the rhythm of your breath lull me back to sleep. . .

A peaceful sleep, this time, with you in my my arms. . .

I'm never letting go.

Currently listening : Something Wrong By Bang Gang Release date: 2007-04-03

2:29 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

"There's So Much Beauty in the World"
Current mood: grateful
Category: Life

The little things. The little things. The little things. It's the little things that make life worth living. Yes, cliché, but oh so true. It's the little things that fill us up, that lift us up, that blow us away.

As soon as we stop living for the little things, we stop-



". . . because the world is round, it turns me on . . . because the wind is high, it blows my mind . . . Ah, love is old, love is new, Love is all, love is you. . . because the sky is blue, it makes me cry."

- The Beatles -

Currently watching : American Beauty (Widescreen Edition) Release date: 2000-10-24

6:49 AM - 3 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

"Overheard" on the 1st Street Bridge. . .
Current mood: silly
Category: Friends

Wifey 1, to me, laughing: "What is this?! What is going on here?!"
Me: "They needed air. . . I wanted them to get some sunshine."
Wifey 1, laughing harder now: "Ooooh ok." hugging me now, " I don't know what I'd do without you."
Me: *Slightly confused by what that last comment meant*
A moment later, hubbie 2: "I'm pretty sure that officer over there is gonna ask you if you have a permit for those things."
Me, feeling shy now: "shush."
A few minutes later, mid-conversation with hubbie 1, making hand gestures near his chest "I'm not sure what you're referring to. . . What are you referring to?"
Me: *rolls eyes*
Wifey 2, chiming in: "They've got their own zip code."
Me: "Sheesh."

Four separate comments in regards to two simple objects. I don't know if I'll ever understand the fascination. *shrugs*

Currently listening : Viva La Vida By Coldplay Release date: 2008-06-17

4:49 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

TI(RED)
Current mood: disappointed
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep- can't fucking sleep.

My mind keeps racing to remind me of all that I lack.

Alcohol would have been a good idea tonight- no, no, no, no, no. . . I should have worked out today. Tired myself out. Make my brain sleepy so it'll leave me alone.

4:44 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

INSPI(RED)
Current mood: adored
Category: Romance and Relationships

Love at first. . .

passing;

Magnetic,
singular,
a chance first encounter?
difficult to believe chance had anything to do with it. . .
fate, perhaps.
regardless, it's. . .
rare,
unbelievable
yet, I believe. . .
now.
didn't take long.
why?
fate, perhaps.
there's that word again;
fate: "that which is inevitably predetermined",
"something that unavoidably befalls a person"
something that unavoidably befell US.
why?
that has yet to be determined. . .
and maybe never will be.
not every question requires an answer,
which leads us to;
understanding,
trust,
passion,
certainty,
willingness,
electricity,
honesty,
all the things that describe love-
that's right, I said it.
continually renewed disbelief that "it" truly exists
coupled with continually renewed faith that "it" does. . .
that you do, that I do, that we do.
Faith,
which leads us to;
clarity,
comfort,
fulfillment on every level.
how are we to recognize what is missing until we finally obtain it?
like a constant pain that we grow accustomed to
and only realize how much it affected us once it's gone.
existence lacks only the future now,
even when away from you.
My being longing to express that I'm overflowing.

Currently listening : Oracular Spectacular By MGMT Release date: 2008-01-22

8:45 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Overheard at the Alamo Drafthouse Last Night. . .
Current mood: silly
Category: Friends

3 people; one chick, one dude and one homie. . .

Homie gets his milkshake from the server.
Dude: "dude, I heard those things bring all the boys to the yard."

Dude tries to steal Chick's cheese plate on his way to the toilet.

Dude tries to steal Chick's cheese plate on his way BACK from the toilet.

Dude: "Oh, jesus buttsex, this is horrible."
Makes "blaaaah" sound as he dumps his vinaigrette dressing on his salad.
Chick, laughing: "WTF was that?"
Dude: "my solo® cup got sick"

Dude steals Chick's cheese when Chick goes to the toilet.
Chick returns to find Dude's salad in place of her cheese plate.
Dude denies everything. Chick doesn't believe him.
The rest of their friends deny everything. Chick doesn't believe any of them.
Dude: "Just write to the waiter and ask him to replace it if he took it."
Chick: writes on paper
Dude: "did you write 'where's my cheeeeese?!'"
Chick: 'No. . . I wrote 'I have a question.'"
Dude: laughs at Chick.
Dude: returns cheese plate to Chick.
Chick: hands dude paper that she had written on. "You can keep that as a souvenir of tonight. For myself, I'm writing down *insert Dude's name here*isms. I'm about to blog this. Don't worry, you'll remain nameless."
Dude: "oh good. How will you refer to me?"
Chick: "someone that I don't work with at Apple & who is not a trainer."
Dude: "and certainly not the LARGEST of the trainers. . . And I'm not referring to his UPS package. Not that I would notice, I'm a DHL girl.
Chick: almost falls out her seat laughing

Dude: Sticks raffle ticket between teeth & gums, letting it dangle & says in white trash Texas accent (like there's any other) "can I win one of thoooooose?"

Chick: "Dude, did u nibble on my cheese?"
Dude: "no way, I don't know where you've been. . . & you don't know where I've been."

Haha, I love talking about myself in the 3rd person. Last night was way too much fun. We went to a charity screening of Serenity at the Alamo Drafthouse (Nick, you should be very jealous right now, hehe). We got there at 9, the event started at 10 but the movie didn't start till like 11:30 so we had a couple hours to chill, drink, eat and bullshit. Good times. :D

One more thing; overheard at the Hula Hut. . .

A six year old to his mom "I've done the math on it."

Currently listening : Eyes Open By Snow Patrol Release date: 2006-05-09

3:25 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Some of This Week’s Activities
Current mood: calm
Category: Life

Not to mention the solo skinning dipping earlier in the week- thrilling! . . .

I saw a midnight showing of Wanted last night. I was concerned about the movie being cheesy but I ended up liking it. The three dudes (Justin, Jason and David) I went with were pretty convinced that it was gonna be awesome so they walked away feeling disappointed. It's funny how expectations have such an effect on the outcome of things.

I've given up caffeine for the most part but I didn't get to bed till almost three this morning so I'm gonna grab It's a Grind on lunch. I'm so glad it's Friday- I'm so glad that it's Friday and I'm in Austin. :D

Wednesday night, we (we meaning; me, Dru, Chris and Jesse) went to Blues on the Green which is the same idea as Concert in the Park in Sac. I have to say, so far, I still like Concert in the Park better. 1. It's on Fridays 2. It has a better variety of musical genres 3. It's downtown 4. Booze is allowed.

They say that there isn't supposed to be booze at Blues on the Green but it's definitely there, they just don't sell it. Next time, we may just bring some of our own like everyone else does. Los Lonely Boys will be at the next one and they are more popular than Marcia Ball so it should be more worth staying for. I'm glad we checked it out though so that we know what to expect next time.

After about 45 minutes of Blues on the Green, we wandered about a mile and a half down the trail that runs along Town Lake over to Congress Bridge. It's a really pretty trail. I have some pics posted of it. The ones from the West side of Congress Bridge.

We checked out the thousands of bats that were flying out from under the bridge, for a little while. It takes about 45 minutes for all of them to leave. That's how many there are. It even smells kinda funny cuz they are all leaving the hole where they normally stay. The noise is interesting too. I noticed it on my first walk but forgot that this was the bridge where the bats live so I didn't understand it. It's like this weird creepy running water/wind blowing/crickets chirping noise that seems to be coming from everywhere. It freaked me out at first but all the walkers and joggers that I saw seemed to think it was normal so then I did too. It's like nothing I've ever heard before.

Anyways, then we wandered around South Congress area for a bit until we found a little brewery. We relaxed, had a few drinks, conversed about whatever.

So far, this foursome is my favorite here in Austin. We are all easy going, funny, adventurous, open-minded, intelligent people. Hanging out together is just so easy and fun and I like that we are all so open with each other that I get to know each of them a little better each time. The time we spend together is the best. :)

After the brewery, we wandered back to the car which was still parked at Zilker Park. As we were approaching, we heard a bunch of noise coming from further down in the park so we decided to drive out that way to see what it was. Turns out, it's an outside hillside theatre. They were performing Beauty and the Beast. We caught the last act. The costumes and stage were elaborate and professional and they even had a live orchestra! It was so neato. The perfect ending to a great outing. :D

It turns out that what we saw was a dress rehearsal but it was so good, you couldn't even tell the difference. The official musical starts tomorrow and will play every Thursday through Sunday until August 9th. I plan on catching the musicial, in its entirety, within the next couple weeks.

I'll be posting more pictures soon.

Oh, and I just had the best conversation with a customer than I've had in a long time. We were totally in sync (not to mention that he bought a Mac Pro- woot!) and he wrote a fabulous kudos e-mail to my manager. Made me feel super good. :D

11:30 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Wine & Movie Night. . .
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Travel and Places

At the Alamo Drafthouse.

So, there's a movie theatre in Austin (there are five of them in the area actually) called the Alamo Drafthouse. They are regular movie theatres but older style like Tower Theatre in Sac but nicer and they have every other row of chairs taken out and replaced by long tables. They also have a bar in the lobby where they serve an EXTENSIVE variety of beer and wine.

We went to the last showing of the night and sat in the bar area drinking until the movie started. Once the movie is about to start, one of the staff comes out to announce it. So, once announced, we go into the actual theatre and sit down. The waitress goes through the rows and asks if we have ever been there before, explains how it works and then takes food and drink orders. I check out the menu and notice a cheese/cracker/fruit platter and I happen to be drinking wine- Whaaaat?!?!?!?

You mean I get to have wine and movie night AT the movies?! SICK! :D

I was JUST talking about how cool it would be if you could order cocktails in the movie theatre when my girlfriends and I saw Sex & the City a few days before I left for Austin. My dream came true!

SO EXCITED about this! It's such a neat, social experience. I'll be going there again next week to see The Happening. I am slightly tempted to see it in a regular theatre just cuz it looks like it will be more of a psychological thriller but how can I say no to the opportunity to eat and drink and be merry in the theatre?! That just wouldn't make sense. So, yes, I will see it at the Alamo and there is a Serenity Charity Screening in July that I'm going to as well. I'm telling ya, this is my new favorite spot. I can't see it ever getting old, especially since wine & movie nights are poo-cellent!

Shout out to Chris! :)

11:29 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment