Earth’s Twin
Current mood: blissful
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

There was an article this morning on MSN's home page that said they have discovered a planet in the galaxy that could be similar to Earth.  I can't find it anymore, but I was able to find a similar article:

http://www.latimes.com/news/science/la-sci-marcy17nov17,1,3373487.story?coll=la-news-science

Interesting stuff.

You would be crazy to think we're the only ones here.   Not to mention depressed if you come to the conclusion that we're the most intelligent beings in the universe (aside from the dolphins and the mice). 

What would humans do if we found a new planet capable of supporting life, or if we found one that did support life?

Would we abandon the rubble we've made of this planet once the oil is gone and the monetary systems all collapse?  Would we go there and take over... show them how their systems of government are wrong and force them to develop a "good democracy?"  Would the Religious Right go up there and hand out pamphlets about Jesus and tell them about how they're all going to Hell? 

Wouldn't it be cool to be able to travel to another planet?  Maybe we will end up colonizing the world like we did in Asimov's Foundation books.

Currently reading : Foundation and Empire (Foundation Novels) By Isaac Asimov Release date: 1991-10-01

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Gina Ranalli and Bradley Sands
Current mood: good
Category: Romance and Relationships

Below are two slightly different (because of Amazon.com's review policy) reviews of two great Bizarro books:

"Suicide Girls in the Afterlife" by Gina Ranalli

This is an entertaining addition to the Bizarro genre. Pogue dies running through the electric forest in the rain and wakes to find herself being escorted to a strange hotel. The hotel contains everyone who has died because both Heaven and Hell are under renovation. There is also a Purgatory level. Once at the hotel, Pogue hooks up with a teen who has committed suicide and a few other misfits. They run into a Goth Emo version of Lucifer, who they convince to take them to Jesus.

This is a hilarious story, with interesting characters and some great observations, such as the "white nothing" Pogue sees behind her after she dies and the eventual truth about where they are. The ending is also very well done, and makes you think about who is really in control of your life. The writing style is top notch. The sentences flow very smoothly into one another and the brief chapters make for a great page turner. It took me about an hour to blow through this story, and I will definitely read it again. The usage of fire plugs is also noteworthy.

"It Came From Below the Belt" by Bradley Sands

Due to an incident with a giraffe, Grover is transported back in time. He meets up with his unattached "member," which goes by the name The Unnamable. The Unnanmable makes Grover go back to high school (every person's dream/nightmare) so that it can run for class president. Once the election is won, The Unnamable promises to reveal the secrets of Nazi time travel to Grover so he can return home. But is The Unnamable reliable?

That is the basic plot outline of this book, but there is so much more going on here than a simple plot. The story twists and turns and changes at the drop of a dime. The writing style changes, and sometimes the format changes. There is a "choose your own adventure" section of the book as well as a television script. At some points you have to read passages two or three times to remind yourself what is going on. This book is a work of art.

A couple of standout points:
1) The "sacrificial children" passage on page 160.
2) "It's not over until the pigeons start flinging their own feces."
3) "...the act of loving someone is far less traumatic after they're no longer around to bother you..."

This is a stellar addition to the Bizarro genre, and I hope to see more by this author in the near future.

Currently reading : Suicide Girls in the Afterlife By Gina Ranalli Release date: 07 August, 2006

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The Will Smith Science Fiction Miniseries
Current mood: creative
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

So, Will Smith lives for a while with his aunt and uncle's house in Bel Air.  One summer, he moves to New York and works his way into another rich person's family (Six Degrees of Seperation.) Then he indulges in a brief but rewarding career as a musician.  After a couple years of that and after scoring a hit with Summertime, he joins the police force. 

He and Martin Lawrence exchange witty one-liners for a few years in Bad Boys 1 and 2.  

Then he catches onto a vast government conspiracy in Enemy of the State and, with the help of Gene Hackman, he narrowly escapes with his life.  In an effort to shut him up, the government gives him a job in the service.  He always wanted to pilot experimental ships, so they put him in this position and he agrees to keep Hackman quiet as well. 

He invents a time machine and has to travel back to the Wild, Wild West, where he and Kevin Kline must stop a crazy inventor from killing President Grant.  Smith is awarded a medal of honor, but cannot go public with it. 

Then, in Independence Day, the aliens attack.  It was bound to happen.  He fights the aliens, and does such a good job restructuring the country that the CIA gives him a job alongside veteran Tommy Lee Jones. 

He and Jones, in Men in Black 1 and 2, help to keep the aliens intrgrated with humans, and this is where Smith discovers a locker room that contains a quantum roadmap that leads to life lines less travelled.  He is able to hook himself up to a virtual simulator that allows him to live out his various "roads not taken."

In Ali, he is a boxer.  In The Legend of Bagger Vance, he is a golf guru.  In Pursuit of Happyness, he is a father trying to take care of his son.  At one point, he becomes an animated shark (Shark Tale) and this scares him so badly that he never uses the virtual simulator again.

While in the MIB unit, he stumbles across a cure for cancer.  The result is a mass outbreak of a virus that turns the population into zombies (even though they were vampires in the book, but that's another discussion) in I Am Legend.  He discovers the cure at the last minute and almost dies in an explosion that would have killed most people.

Thankfully, he only loses an arm.  Years later, after the zombie epidemic has passed, he gains a robotic arm.  In I, Robot, he goes back to his roots and gets a job with the police department.  This time, he must work with a series of lifelike robots and discover if one of them committed a murder.

Therefore, all of Will Smith's movies are connected.

(Thanks to Rob and Randy for brainstorming parts of this over chicken wings and beer.)

Currently watching : I, Robot (Widescreen Edition) Release date: 14 December, 2004

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My First Two Books For Sale on MySpace
Current mood: fabulous
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

For reasons of my own, I have taken a vacation from the publishing industry for a while. Now, in 2008, I have three projects nearing completion and I will soon be back in the game. To celebrate this, and to clean out my closet, I have discovered 25 copies of my first novel and 10 copies of my second. These are the first printings from the publisher, trade paperbacks, signed by me (or rather my pen name at the time, Heywood Steele.) I will also throw in a copy or two of Psychotic Education, the literary magazine I used to edit and sometimes write for (all under different pen names.) Destiny of the Soul's cover price is $16.95. After the Paperman Comes is $14.95. I am selling these rare signed copies for $23.00 if you want both, or $12.00 each. This includes shipping.

My Paypal address is glover877@hotmail.com

Email me for an address to send money orders, checks, or cash to.

I am only offering this to people on MySpace, and only for a limited time.

"Each story thread is well-written, with punchy dialogue." Cemetery Dance Magazine

"One of the best pieces of fiction I've read in some time. Heywood Steele breathes life into his characters." Dark Side of Entertainment

"Destiny of the Soul"

In 1968, Johnny Reno sold his soul to the Organization, a sinister and mysterious group that holds the power to make people famous. Seven years later, he backed out on his contract. Ever since, he has been forced to work for them in order to pay off his debt. Now he wants his career back, so he enlists the aid of a private investigator named Dorf Brentson. The detective, with the help of a mysterious new partner, a haunted ex-writer, a girl who is eternally twenty-three years old, and a disillusioned youth named Dutch, will risk his life to get Johnny's soul for reasons that become personal. Together they will cross the boundaries of life and death and enter a world where they will learn the secrets of the immortal soul, a world from which they may never return.

"After the Paperman Comes"

A former detective's wife is abducted by a serial killer known as the Paperman, a man who is responsible for the violent deaths of several local women.

An immortal struggles with his identity as he uses powers from beyond to try and save the detective's wife.

A lonely man and woman get trapped in an abandoned cemetery and discover a love they never knew existed.

As their stories unfold, they move toward an explosive confrontation that will be resolved after the Paperman comes.

This and four other stories of supernatural suspense by Heywood Steele, two of which are previously unpublished, are collected in this volume.

Currently reading : Destiny of the Soul By Heywood Steele Release date: January, 2002

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Happy Kwanzaa: The Seven Days
Current mood: tired
Category: Religion and Philosophy

One: Umoja is the importance of striving for and maintaining unity in the family, community, nation, and race. "Moja" means one, and "Umoja" means oneness in Swahili, and the greatest success a person achieves is unity with the universal consciousness through oneness with the Creator. From that source we realize that everything in the universe is related - the earth, the sky, oceans, plants, animals, and humans. We are one related family, and whatever happens to one will eventually happen to all.

Two: Kujichagulia means knowing who we are and our role in our community as we journey through life - to define our interest, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves, making decisions that benefit the family and community. All principles reinforce each other; however, we cannot achieve Kujichagulia without first uniting with each other. Self-determination is having a purpose and working to fulfill it quietly and efficiently without allowing the negative doubts of others to mislead. It is listening to our own voice, trusting our own thoughts, and spreading our own light

Three: Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) Ujima means through unity we must build and maintain our community, to solve problems together the way we bonded to solve problems in the past. Ujima is a return to traditional values of kindness, generosity, patience, tolerance, cooperation, and compassion. It is a sense of truth and justice, right and wrong, and doing things for and taking care of others through services that build and maintain a community.


Four: Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) Ujamaa means to build and maintain businesses using our collective economic strength (Ujamaa) to fill mutually the needs of the community. Work puts the law of circulation into action and is the reason we have a harvest of success. It is the way we create and develop ourselves and confirm our worth. Once we receive and freely give, dreams materialize. We live on a unified plane, no individual lives entirely alone, and cooperative economics means that we think about others; our thoughts don't center only on ourselves.

Five: Nia (Purpose) Nia means that we must have pride in ourselves and our ancestry, so we can look within ourselves to build and plan for the total community. Nia is doing what needs to be done: any creative or helpful action that glorifies life in our search for happiness. It is preserving and increasing the legacy that the ancestors left us.

Six: Kuumba (Creativity)  Kuumba is using our individual talents, we keep our home and community clean and beautiful by using our creativity (Kuumba) to build and maintain our community.  First, Kuumba focuses on how we can use our talents, imagination, and creative skills to bring harmony and beauty to our communities.  Second, Kuumba means homoring and remembering the ancestors whose legacy and gifts we use today.  Third, Kuumba is the only principle that is celebrated by a feast (Karamu).  Whatever thoughts you believe create your reality, since the imagination is fed by faith and understanding.   

Seven:  Imani (Faith) Imani is believing in our people, our parents, our teachers, and our leaders by honoring and remembering the best of our history, the best of ourselves, and the best of our dreams and aspirations for the future. Imani strengthens our trust in the ordinary with the actions and behaviors that promote the teachings of the Creator. From life's experiences, we develop imagination, empathy, and compassion. We are able to think and imagine ourselves in the lives of others. Faith is using our talents, our genius, and our careers to network and strive to meet the needs of the poor and the suffering.

Thanks to Dorothy Winbush Riley for writing The Complete Kwanzaa: Celebrating Our Cultural Harvest, which is where I gathered the above information.  The book expands heavily on each day and also contains stories and poems that relate to the days.  There are also many great Karamu recipes in the back which can be enjoyed year round.  Happy Kwanzaa to all! 

Currently reading : The Complete Kwanzaa: Celebrating Our Cultural Harvest By D. Winbush Riley Release date: January, 2003

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Christmas Wishes and Other Related Things
Current mood: happy
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

Wow.  I just realized I haven't written a blog with anything related to my life or my fiction writing or any amusing observations in over a year.  They all appear to be shameless plugs for other authors or lists of hodge podge I've read and probably already reviewed on Amazon.  So, in keeping with that tradition, here are some fun ways to spend Christmas:

1) Santa Steps Out by Robert Deveroux.  Great stuff.  Out there.  Santa and the Tooth Fairy having an affair.  Mrs. Claus doing unmentionable things with elves.  The Easter Bunny and his deranged love doll.  This is the most warped book ever.  A must for the holiday season.

2) Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III.  Evil King Kringle was punished by being forced to spend eternity delivering presents to kids.  Now he is forced to deliver gifts to kids for eternity.  Now that his body has been turned into sausage casings, he is good and must enlist a very disfunctional family to help save Christmas.  Vintage Mellick... a little erotic in the beginning but that soon is abandoned in favor of B-Movie quality action as the narrator dons a Cabbage Suit and joins the fight.  Transformers fans take note!

3) Santa Claus Conquers the Martians by Lou Harry.  Hilarious, pop culture reference-laden adaptation of one of the campiest movies ever that was published about forty years after the movie came out.  Santa goes to Mars!  Told from the point of view of the youngest Martian child.  The book comes with a DVD of the movie so you can enjoy both at once.

So tonight we will be opening gifts at home and tomorrow will contain some family and friend time.  We may also watch the Holy Trinity of Christmas movies: Scrooged, A Christmas Story, and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.  Also, in keeping with tradition, I must watch an entry from the Silent Night, Deadly Night series.  This year, I will be watching Part Four.

And then, on the 26th, Kwanzaa begins! 

And the bell ringing outside of the mall and grocery store will finally cease! (I know you're doing community service, but put a piece of cloth around that clanger.  We see you, for Harold's sake!  I'm deaf enough as it is.  Jeez...)

Currently reading : Sausagey Santa (Avant Punk Book Club) By Carlton Mellick III Release date: 19 December, 2006

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Bizarro News!
Current mood: good
Category: News and Politics

Love Bizarro fiction? This is the place for you! Don't know about Bizarro fiction? This is the place to learn more!

BIZARRO'>http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LmJpemFycm9jZW50cmFsLmNvbQ==">BIZARRO CENTRAL

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Kevin L Donihe
Current mood: content
Category: Automotive

Okay, here's another blog about another author.  This guy's name is Kevin L Donihe.  He is a Bizarro author who publishes with the same companies as Carlton Mellick III.  You guys should check him out as well.  He has three kick ass books out now that I've read:

1) Ocean of Lard: He and Carlton Mellick co-wrote this book, which mocks the Choose Your Own Adventure books.  If only this had been around when we were kids...

2) The Greatest Fucking Moment in Sports:  The cover of this one has a picture of a guy with a penis shaped head riding a bike.  It only gets better.  A biker gets his head lopped off by a ninja and still has enough juice to (maybe) win the Tour De France.  You can read my full length review of this one on www.amazon.com when you go there to buy your copy.

3) Grape City: His newest one.  Hell goes out of business.  What happens to the demons who need to find new work?  The main character's name is Charles.  Need I say more?

This guy writes some of the most creative fiction I've read in a while.  I hope to see a lot more from him in the near future.

Currently reading : Grape City By Kevin, L Donihe Release date: 20 April, 2006

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Carlton Mellick III
Current mood: crazy
Category: Food and Restaurants

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Carlton Mellick III

You guys have to read Bizarro author Carlton Mellick III.  He writes surrealisitc fiction that compares to William Burroughs, Philip K Dick, Kurt Vonnegut... The only problem is that his books aren't as easily to find.  You have to look for them.  go to www.amazon.com and check him out.  All of them are there, and they are still in print.  I have reviewed many of them in depth on Amazon, so you can check out my more detailed reviews there.  Here are some snippets: 1) Fishy Fleshed: A group of scientists travel back in time to find Jesus.  2) Baby Jesus Butt Plug: When used in that way, Baby Jesus clones go crazy.  There are also Paul McCartney butt plugs. 3) Sex and Death In Television Town: A western town where people have tvs for heads.  A group of western characters make this one of his best. 4) The Menstruating Mall: Misfits are trapped in a mall and weird things happen while the local mall is surrounded by blood. 5) Sea of the Patchwork Cats: The world ends and an elderly drunk finds himself adrift in a floating house that guides him to a strange place. 6) WarSlut: When there is no one left to fight, who will be left for them to fight? 7) Satan Burger: Satan opens a burger joint, zombies, punk bands, and the end of the world... These are just a few.  Check them out.  Also, check out the Avant Punk Army and help spread the word about the Bizarro genre.  It is new, it is unique, it is strange, and it is growing every day.

Currently reading : The Haunted Vagina (Avant Punk Book Club) By Carlton Mellick III Release date: 18 September, 2006

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Tagged Again
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Podcast

I have been tagged by Kerri and Joslin, and month or two ago by Tamara.  This is a repost of the six weird things about myself that I posted on May 8, 2006, when I was tagged for the first time. 

I will not select six people who may or may not respond.

Here goes, with minor updates:

1) I buy books compulsively.  I will hit a book store (real or online) or the library and browse until one calls out to me.  Sometimes it takes hours.  I buy about ten to every one I read.  My house is so full, I may someday have to rent my books an apartment. 

2) Water where water isn't supposed to be freaks me out, especially around sinks, even in public places.  It gives the chrome a white film if you leave it.  Don't get me started about having to go out in the rain.  (It rained today.  I got stuck in it for only a moment.)

3) I don't do yardwork of any kind, which is why I bought a condo. 

4) Children make me nervous. 

5) There are two ways to leave my condo via a parking circle.  I only take one way because if I take the other way something will happen to mess up my day.  I also never pick up a coin that is goocher side up.  Bad luck.

6) I arrived from the year 2370 in a time machine invented by Charles Dickens. 

I apologize for the copout.  I felt it was necessary.

Currently watching : House, M.D. - Season One Release date: 30 August, 2005

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