easy answers to easy questions.

I've lost all faith in women. I'm sorry. Hopefully this doesn't translate to a loss of faith in all humanity. But girls my age are categorized by a few undeniable characteristics:

Dishonesty

Selfishness

Hedonism

A complete lack of knowledge as to what it is they want

It makes you all so impossible to deal with. So grow up and get your priorities straight, because I really want to like you.

<3

10:01 PM - 9 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

hangin around in the lost and found.

ffuuuuck. gotta get home. going crazy. stir crazy. I'll be home from August 6th to the 12th, so let me know if you'd like to do something.

<3

3:08 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

just another thing.

Presently imbibing my last freedom beer. It's a remarkably floral I.P.A. from the Big Sky Brewery in Mosula, Montana. State of my birth. I'm back to West Point in a few hours. I'll do that for a month then I'll be in Washington. So prepare yourselves. And if you haven't noticed, America, albeit a bit rough around the edges, is cool. as. fuck.

<3.

10:31 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

because shit's about moving on.

And for fuck's sake, life is cool. Who's with me?! I'm going to be home in August, and you and I are gonna start a revolution.

<3

5:32 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

oh you had to know.
Current mood: Misogynistic .

So this goes out for two reasons. It goes out to the faithful - all those people who can actually say with some legitimacy that they really care about other people. Love to you all. And it goes out to the selfish hedonists who have forsaken their souls and the one true holy, our connection to each other as humans, for temporary carnal cheap thrills. Fuck every last one of you.

Listen:

This didn't happen to me. This is an exercise in perspective. The word "boyfriend" can also be read as "girlfriend" and vice versa.

You can contest this, but I can't think of any purer form of evil than to cheat on your boyfriend when that lover has been nothing if not faithful to you for years.

Take this hypothetical:

You've been with your girlfriend for years now. So much time that keeping track seems pointless. It's a good love. It makes you both happy. She cheats on you once by fucking a friend that you actually held close. The only way you managed to find out about this was because a good friend of yours found out about this situation and gave your girlfriend the ultimatum of telling you herself, or your friend was going to tell you. So, backed into a corner, she decided to tell you herself. You are truly in love with this girl. This pain is one you've never really known before. It breaks a little something inside. It even twists up your brain for a while. You want to vomit. You want to cut the bad feeling out of your core with whatever kitchen blade is closest. Instead you beat the shit out of the guy she cheated on you with. Rightfully so. Righteous anger. You are a truly forgiving person. One of the few on the planet that doesn't possess a single judgmental cell.

 For the sake of your love, you pass her infidelity off as a mistake. You give her another chance to rebuild. More time passes. So much time that the time she fucked your friend isn't too important. You've been living together for over a year. You got your first apartment together. You got cats and lizards and furniture. You've really developed a life together that feeds off each other. It's good. There are scraps here and there, but it really is good. Your friends approve and accept her as their friend. You all have marvelous experiences together. She hasn't paid her share of the rent for 5 months, but that's okay, because you can support her while she goes through an experimental phase where she doesn't want to work. You love her regardless. It's a puzzle, but the pieces fit. She goes away with friends for a weekend. She fucks a 35 year old married man. You, in your entire life, have never done anything to any living creature or inanimate object to deserve something like this.

So tell me friends, how would you feel and how would you react?

Currently listening : Asleep in the Back [Bonus Track] By Elbow Release date: 22 January, 2002

12:47 AM - 14 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

who you jivin with that cosmic debris?

Voltaire said, "If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities." And we have. And we still do. And shit is just as absurd as ever. Ever wonder what would've happened if someone in the upper echelons of the church would've said "Wait, let's not senselessly kill those that are different." If we'd have let them live, there would have been no crusade. If there were no crusade, we could've made it good between us and the whole cradle of civilization. Now it's fucked. The absurdity of religion spurred the atrocity of the crusades which snowballed and spawned today's absurd Muslim terrorism. Fucking sweet. Three cheers for man's contrived god everyone - the most heartless fucker of a cosmic joker that anyone has ever thought up.

7:54 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

there'll be no regrets when the worms come.

So I've recently managed to snap out of a desperate lull with the help of a few good friends, and I've made a conscious, 3-step effort to get back to my roots.

Step 1: Relocate lost music that developed me in younger, more volatile years.

Step 2: Have Mom and Dad send me the Nintendo 64 with Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Step 3: Recognize the people that have been there all along.

What's happened so far as a result of Step 1:

The first bands that immediately came to mind with this were Third Eye Blind, Bush, Eve 6 and The Wallflowers. Going back and really giving these bands a good listen gave me that warm nostalgic feeling. Third Eye Blind embodied profound, poetic lyrics with songs that oozed with sexuality. Eve 6 was youthful and lyrically clever. Bush was rock and my first experience with the British invasion of the 90s. The Wallflowers didn't do too much for me. Great music. Pleasant to revisit. I'm leaning towards the possibility that the way I talk these days sort of stemmed from the way Stephan Jenkins (3eb) and max Collins (Eve 6) wrote. This music shaped me significantly, and I wouldn't have ever listened to it if my brother hadn't pointed me in the right direction. We've branched off on our own paths of musical interest since then, but he set me straight and led me down the road of musical righteousness. From musical righteousness comes a life of conviction, individuality, open-mindedness and sincerity. I can credit my brother with showing me how to be these things when I was pretty young. Thanks Danny.

What's happened so far as a result of Step 2:

Oh god. Best shit ever. My brother and I grew up on Zelda. Every single one. Again, he introduced me to this, the best video game saga ever created. I'd play after him, but I was just as happy to watch, following along with him and solving puzzles. And you can mock me all you want, but that shit seriously required some mental application. It was the first thing that really taught me problem solving. So fuck you. Video games made me smart. Thanks again Danny.

What's happened so far as a result of Step 3:

Well it's pretty obvious that excepting the perfect childhood that my parents provided for me and my family, my brother was the most instrumental person in establishing the foundation for my life. He continues to directly and indirectly help me become something that I think is on the path toward worthwhile. Don't get me wrong, there are several people that have been with me through thick and thin, that will be there until I die and have shaped me in other profound ways. That's for another piece. This was about my roots, and my brother, although he opted to play with my sister instead of witness my birth (eternal grudge), has been there since day 1. That's pretty deeply rooted.

Loves

Currently listening : Third Eye Blind By Third Eye Blind Release date: 08 April, 1997

5:17 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

tailored entirely for you.

In case any of you dear people were unaware, Elbow is undeniably one of the best bands the world has ever known. Please, discover them if you haven't yet.

Currently listening : Leaders of the Free World By Elbow Release date: 21 February, 2006

3:42 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

the faithless shit is yours.

This place really blows sometimes.

9:09 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

i'm at the edge, twitching mildly.

If I ever get anywhere, accomplish anything noteworthy, I will realize that it had very little to do with myself and very much to do with the people that are on my side. I want to say thanks for doing everything you've done for me this far. I really do owe you everything I am.  

Currently listening : Asleep in the Back [Bonus Track] By Elbow Release date: 22 January, 2002

4:51 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment