New 5 minute artwork!
Current mood: electric

Ah yes, what the digital age has done to art.

Well, I just got a Sony Ericsson for free, and it was the first phone I ever had that came with the usb hookup.  I decided to document the messiness of my room for later analysis. And I got stuck in the neuronesque patterns  of the wires that layed across my desk. A couple of shots and and quick tweaks of the curve in photoshop and I birthed the first batch of artwork I created in a long time.
Gone are the days where I could spend 17 hours producing similars artwork from scratch.
Now, these A.D.D. pieces might be a fun venture when I can't find anything else stimulating at the 1 hr of free time I have of the day.

Hope you enjoy!

10:03 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

corruption and confusion

trembdaand bmn le

          band btremble

          bloo
daand bmn d and and bombs

this daand bmn war

trebdamn warle

          bloodanmd b and b

trembledaand bmn climax

          blood and bombs climax

thforeis daclimaxmn wardamn war

                  this stdamn warory is too limaxong

ver cling

ombs

this maxidamn ever war

                  thislo story is too ng

forcling

                  this story is too long

forever climng

lood and bomaxibs

       this story is too long

forever climaxing

1:47 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

vibrating neurons
Current mood: lonely

Books, Internet and TV are very draining things to do in the spare time. Since I got a new job with less human interaction, and my best friend got into an intensely sexual relationship with a foreign lady, I've had more and more time to myself, looking at the walls for something to do.

8:27 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

that’s why I brought the rope

I needed a vacation, but I didn't have any money, so I hiked to Ft Pikens at 9pm on Sunday night. The whole trip was amazing to me, I really couldn't imagine that I would become so immersed in the moment. It was great. The walk there was dark and a bit errie. The only light was four massive lights from the pensacola port in the distance. The moon was blocked out by clouds that taunted us with threats of rain. The walk took about 3 hrs, but I dove into the Isis, and enjoyed the walk with a backdrop of trance metal.

7:41 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

i’m not closing

So I'm lying in bed, trying to train my thoughts to think about finals, that way I'll wake up and study for them. But I find myself

11:25 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Conclusions of arguments

I'm always torn between my logical mind and my experimental side experiencing unexplainable illogical moments. 

Yet, religion feels like a pillow of forgetfulness, a slip into dream of symbolism while logic feels like a giant investment and faith in and of memory.  

so i seep into third person

   blur the self                                ajna caressing anahata 

disassemble

       shed like ash

     these attempts of rebirth

11:00 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Useless

useless, myspace has become.

there is no real urge to express anything to this page anymore. I believe that my page gets viewed by bots more than anything, and I don't write so it can be seen by a machine. What's sad is, that even if I had all my friends linked to my page, the only person who would be reading anything is you....mitchell. ha.   Anyway, i've begun a personal study on John Von Neumann, who is responisble for fetch, decode, and execute cycle that you computer is currently following, and is also responisble for Game theory and the explosive Fission bomb that set off the first fusion or Hydrogen bomb.

It's important, and I feel the need to express the way I'm currently feeling, but not here. This place has become as dead as my first catus plant.  And I hope to continue to write, and hopefully something benefitial will come out of it.  Until then, cheers to the concept of perfection that humans cannot accept as realilty  

11:37 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Easter and other forms of self deception

I turned on the television the other day to find some poltergeist sequel playing. Which in turned got me to wandering around the internet learning about the "poltergeist curse", which then led me to reading about what happened to Vic Morrow on the set of the twightlight zone movie.

So for some reason, I got an urge to watch the footage of the accident.  And for  some reason my brain clicked "Hey, cool, a decapitation! let’s see it".  I watched the video, (which had the Doors "the End" playing in the background.)   It wasn’t gory, it was just extremely sad, and it struck this chord deep down in me. 

I can say that "I’m not some gore freak", and that is true to some degree.  But it is more accurate to admit that I am a vessel for these strange desires that take over me on discrete occasions.  And upon doing soon weakens the fabric of the illusion of what and who I believe I am.  I’m more similar to a boiling stew full of random ingredients than a single unified being. 

I feel that there’s a lot of truth to that, but it’s too chaotic to live like that. I rely heavily on be able to predict my own actions, and I have to pretend I’m a singular being, even though it’s not true.  Plus, superego says that I’m responsible for my own actions, which is also incongruent with what I deem as correct.

And that’s what’s kind of fucked up about self discovery, you go through all this trouble only to come to the conclusion that you must lie to yourself to continue to function.  Then you just learn to get better at lying yourself enough that you can achieve transcendence and function in several different views simultaneously.

10:57 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

drawing outside lines of reason
Current mood: blessed

I love road trips. especially when I’m alone. My Ipod played Lateralus in some strange order, which made it a refreshing listen. The perfection of that album will never cease to amaze me, and what better to compliment it with a couple of violent femme albums proceeding it. Say what you want about the femmes, but I really dig that music. I’ve listened to them off and on for countless years, but I’ve really fallen in love with them lately.

I have a sense of euphoria right now, and I know it’s because I was totally absorbed and immersed in wonderful music today. And that just goes to show you the massive effect that music can have on people lives. I honestly believed that if God came down, and stole all the instruments and albums and extinguished the flame of expression, humans would begin to suffer some sort of psychosocial trauma.

The spark that started modern rock was the rhythmic slamming of the railroad nail. Rock was built on the sorrow of slaves, music was an outlet. As slaves worked, they clung to those gospel songs they heard in church, bending them to fit into their work place. It not only helped to pass the time, but also strengthen the bond between the other slaves. It helped to fight the demons of alienation. And although music didn’t bring civil rights, it did help the slaves survive, mentally. It gave them the direct ability to craft their own reality through sound, because that was about all they were free to do.

And much is the same today, I’ve always felt that alienation is at it worse these days. I think largely due to Christianity and it’s anti-thesis Atheism, Western Culture fosters it’s children to be feel dislodged from the universe, to feel indifferent about it. To feel like we just appeared here, and we are really from some far away, unknown place. So, we grow up, ego-centric, battling our "devilish" ancient self, feeling threatened, and begin to seek pleasure and get then fuck out of here. Not to mention, we feel all these things, but then we are not suppose to talk about it, because it frightens other people. So we have a spiritually depressed self that yearns for some sort of relation, just some affirmation that some one else feels the same way.

Hence, music is religion. What an infinitely more meaningful spiritual experience a car ride is with Tom Yorke yelling "Has the light gone out for you? Because the light has gone out for me. It is the 21st Century. It is the 21st Century" then sitting in front of some guy mumbling old words from an old book from an old world.

I feel more like an artist then i ever have in my entire life, and I haven’t messed around in Photoshop for almost year. I haven’t taken one picture with my camera (minus my cell phone) and I have picked up one piece of charcoal. The farther I traverse into this mathematical world, the deeper appreciation I have for art and their artist. I have this creative side of my brain churning out the expressions of my emotions, and they are satisfied by immersing myself in others people expressions. That is love, that is human connection, that is the cure to the 21st century alienation.

Currently listening : Add It Up (1981-1993) By Violent Femmes Release date: 14 September, 1993

3:53 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

the first cry

I am agnostic, but on the way to work yesterday, I laid out my framework of my belief system in which to build my religious reality around.  Stemming from Descartes''  "Cogito, ergo sum"

(i)  There is a object in which I perceive, known as the universe.

(ii)  My human body was birthed out of another human body, in which is part of the universe. Hence, the universe was existed before me and I exist because of the universe.

(iii) because of my perception of other births, and other similarities between other beings in the universe, there are other beings in the universe that also exist because of the universe.

(iv) because of my perception of these beings death, it can be deduced that there is a high probability that I will suffer the same fate.

(v) because the universe exists without those that have died, i deduce the fact that the universe will exist after I die.

Pretty simple.  So those, I guess, are my axioms for my "certain" beliefs that I hold as truths.  I'm going to try to refine them and deduce more to see how far I go.  Stop me if you notice contradictions in my logic.

12:44 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment