Shitty Morning

So this morning at work, we had this guy die on us wicked fast, like before the team even got to see him in the morning.  As it goes, the guy was admitted about 2 hours before he dies because he is vomiting and having diarrhea and some shortness of breath.  Now granted this guys has multiple medical problems, but at 715 in the morning he was sitting on the edge of his bed talking with the nurses while they were starting his IV to replace his potassium.  So everything was going fine.  Then 735 roles around and the guy is dead.  No warning, just dead.  His paper work hadn't even been finished and I don't know if his family knew he was in the hospital or not.  Man, it was a pretty shitty morning.  Just goes to show how it can all end in a sec. 

So I just want to let you all know that I love you all.  I hope all is well with all ya'll.  Have a great day, week, month, year (depending when I hear from you next).  Be safe and take care of yourselves.

12:43 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Text Messaging

I have been thinking about text messaging lately.  I have talked with some people about this text messaging thing and most of us have come to a similar conclusion:

Oh my god I hate text messaging.  I can never tell what the hell people mean when they text me.  How the fuck are people supposed to have even a superficial relationship with another human being (let alone an in-depth one) when they are constantly trying to decifer the meaning behind the words that is lost without inflection. 

I mean, how hard is it to pick up a phone and tell someone what you were going to text them?  It takes a hell of a lot less time to talk to someone, it is more personable, and you don't have to worry about misinterpreting the meaning of their messages (well, most of the time).  Have we all become anthropophobic that we cannot even stand to pick up the phone and talk to our friends and loved ones?  It's no wonder people cannot connect with each other anymore.  Not to mention it is such a pain in the ass to have to text, especially if you have a small phone. 

Of course I realize the irony of me posting this on Myspace.  I would call everyone of you and tell you how much I hate text messaging if I had all your numbers (and if you wouldn't think I am insane for just calling you up to tell you that.  Catch-22 I guess). 

Oh and yes, sadly, I do text.  I hate it.  I hate doing it, but I do it none-the-less because fuckers refuse to call (and weirdly enough get bent when I answer a text with a phone call.  WTF mate?).  However, if, in the future, you want to talk to me, please feel free to call me.  I don't mind.  If I am working, I might not get back to you right away but I will.  So, lets all try to reverse this bullshit and start talking to each other. 

Well, that is my rant for the week.

Oh and one more thing, if you are going to call, don't call me too early tomorrow.  There's a bar right near my place that is having 3 shots for $5 tonight.  I am f-ed (not K-fed).

Peace.

6:21 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Sympathy for a devil
Current mood: amused

So, I learned some interesting facts about Karl Rove (now I haven't independently verified these things, but I trust my source) and I have to say, it made me have a little respect for the man.  Don't get me wrong, he is a dip shit but at least, in part, it is the kind of dip shittery that I can understand. 

Apparently, KR is an atheist and on top of that, the man who raised him and is one of the most important men in KR's life, was openly gay.  It seemed unbelievable to me given who he works for and the agenda he helps to push, but it makes sense in a given context.  I was dicussing this with the person who told me about it and apparently KR came to their work to give a speech (because this place donated a lot of money to some function) and this person was in attendance.  Now the person I refer to is one who is very liberal and we actually joked how easy..., well this person was in the third row and security was lax.  Anyway, what happened was there were several times during his speech that KR would say things to deliberately piss off the liberals in the audience.  One instance in particular was when KR said something to the affect of, "Blah blah blah blah nucular blah blah blah blah nucular."  Very debilberately mispronouncing the word like our commander and chief does.  Of course the liberals in the audience immediately started snickering and commenting, and my friend in the audience said it was plain as day that KR was enjoying the fact that it was so easy to get under-the-skin of the liberals.  My friend in fact said that he did this on numerous occasions.

After talking about it for awhile, we came to the conclusion that KR most likely doesn't really give a crap about the agendas he helps to forward, but that he enjoys the game, the power he has over people, and just pissing people off, especially liberals.  I really don't think that he really believes any of the crap he helps the current administration try to pass.  His beliefs (being an atheist) and his relationship with his father (being gay and all) seem to be in stark contrast to public persona and perception of the man.  I can totally understand a person doing what he does for the thrill of the game and that he can so easily get under people's skin for something as innocuous as mispronouncing a word.  Granted, this is a single account of a man and I draw a huge conclusion from this single account, but it makes me like the man a little bit.  I totally can understand the joy one can draw from having such a seemless power to irritate people.  Oh, and I firmly believe that if the left side of the isle offered him enough money we would help their agendas too.  I dont really think he cares either way.

8:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

just something

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
       --George Bernard Shaw

8:28 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

In case you haven't seen it yet....

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

7:50 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

My head the last couple days
Current mood: pensive

So, this last Saturday, I got the opportunity to pronounce my first patient.  Don't get me wrong, I have had patients die on my before, if fact my first day back from winter break we lost this guy in less than an hour and a half.  (By-the-way, stop smoking.  Every patient I've had die on me and 90% of my patients have been smokers and most had quit more than 20 years ago and still died of complications.  Worst way to die too, spending 10+ years starving for breath.  There is nothing worse that "air hunger" and yes that is a technical term.) 

Anyway, Saturday this lady dies and my intern and I are called to pronounce her.  It really is a surreal experience the first time.  Of course there is a lot of lame logistic stuff that has to be taken care of, but walking up to the grieving family and introducing yourself and why you are there is really strange.  It feels like you are in the middle of a Wes Anderson film when everything slows down and strangely inappropriately appropriate music starts to play in the background while everyone is nodding, shaking hands, moving out of the way as you stroll into the room as all the family members slowly look towards you and then away.  It really was like that, at least as I perceived it.

I never thought that death could be so quiet.  I had only been to funerals of family and friends and to autopies prior to this and they are not quiet at all.  Sound just seemed to fall flat out of my mouth, as if I was dribbling water out of it, and just hang in the air for a short while before falling to the floor.  It was impossible to tell if she had passed painlessly and peacefully or if she was fighting till the end.  I didn't even really know her.  She just lay their limp and cold, as rigor would slowly set in over the next 12 hours. 

We started doing our tests to see if in fact she was dead; a somewhat meaningless exercise but a legal one.  We tested to see if she was breathing; if her heart was beating; if her reflexes were intact and thus her brain; all this in only a matter of minutes.  Had it not been a learning experience for me, it would have been over in seconds.  Even as we walked out of her room, sound slowly returned first the voice of my intern telling the family they could return to the room and how sorry he was for their loss, then the voices of the family slowing chiming in thanking us and then the din of the hospital and everything was normal again. 

It was funny how little it really bothered me although it was a really strange feeling.  I think the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that in a hospital chart the size of an Unabridged Oxford English Dictionary, the end of her life was summed up with just five or six lines saying, "yup, she's dead," or something like that.  But I guess death is really only one bookend on the numerous volumes of our lives. 

She was lucky, she didn't die alone though.  She was surrounded by family and friends at the end.  I've met some amazing people facing death.  Everyone deals with it differently, of course.  It amazes me how those that are content with their lives just accept it no matter how sudden and it just deal with it as they would deal with making breakfast in the morning.  As much as I am bored of my ass right now, I have met some amazing people.  Seeing so many people die around me lately has made me do a lot of thinking about death and life and all those things that I have regretted, lost, given up, dreams not chased, dreams beaten down with a 2x4, etc.  I really have nothing profound to offer with this piece.  I guess if I have to offer something just to offer a closing to this thing, I'd have to say I've found a little peace lately.  I've been profoundly upset this past month, some of you know, but I said, did, offered all I could and bared my soul (perhaps too much) and well, I found I have no regrets.  Hell, tomorrow we might get snow.

6:13 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Ugh Medicine...
Current mood: bored

I am so friggin' bored doing my Medicine rotation.  It is supposed to be the "big one", the rotation that is the real killer, but it is so boring.  I don't do anything all day.  Hell, I don't know what my residents do all day.  In some ways it is nice since I don't have to be at work till 7am and I am usually done by 3pm or 4pm.  Seriously it is nothing.  But, now all I do is twiddle my thumbs and read because everyone else (friends and classmates not doing this rotation with me) are busy actually working.  I can't believe I have three months of this crap.  Man what I wouldn't give for it to be summer and be living on the beach.  I should have done medical school in Hawaii.  Man, that would have been sweet...

5:30 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Quick Quote

All that is Beautiful is Difficult
             ---Plato in Hippias Major

12:10 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment