32 flavors

Oh, myspace:

"Hi there. Please don't call me ma. I'm not your mother.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ~~~~**M@N3Y M@k!N P@P3RB@Y**~~~
Date: Jul 20, 2007 5:26 PM


wasssup ma how u doin ???"

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I once told a friend of mine that I was an asshole, and he said, "well, you're an ass, but I'm not sure you've earned the 'hole' part yet." I was insulted.

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Seriously though, these days I'm a much better version of myself. Ambitious, outgoing, confident, productive. It feels good. I know this doesn't earn me any street cred, but I enjoy being a semi-functional member of society; it allows me to fuck shit up from the inside out. It's much easier to make people think twice once they know you're worth listening to. Fuck the man.

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Hi everyone. If you read this, you should leave a comment. Be friendly. It's a nice thing to do.

5:53 PM - 3 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

...

We all have our demons. Are you facing yours?

9:20 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

New Tattoo + Year in Review

I've kept my year in review short and sweet, but for those of you who couldn't care less about that, I think I'll start with long overdue pictures of my tattoo masterpiece-in-progress, which has certainly been a highlight of 2006. The artist is Tim Kern, who is more amazing than words can describe. As of these pictures, I'd had about 15 hours of work done. (I had 3 more hours done today, but no pictures yet.) I couldn't be more thrilled about it.

1:35 AM - 7 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

No sleep till

(Like clockwork, my monthly update. I don't mean to do it this way...)

I just returned to Santa Fe after an AMAZING 4-day stint in New Yawk. It was so good to be home. I burst into tears as I spotted the Empire State Building from my plane when I came in, and then wept again as my plane took off heading to Albuquerque (via Chicago.) In between my fits of saltwater, I did all sorts of fabulous things:

First on my list was lots of face time with my family, especially my very grown up 3-year-old nephew Julian and my nearly 6-month-old neice Zadie. No matter how far away I am, my universe mostly revolves around them. It was also nice to see my brother really on top of his shit. It's about fucking time, homie! Haha.

Second, TATTOO! I spent another 4 deliciously painful hours with Tim Kern, getting work done on my beautiful burmese python. The black work goes all the way down to my ankle now. Phase 2 is officially complete. And officially sexcellent.

Third, a lot of time with a special someone. That's really none of your business.

Fourth, (but really just as important as any of the things,) I got to see a lot of old friends. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who gave me some of their time. It was such a pleasure to catch up with the people who have, over the years, made life more worthwhile. And apologies to everyone I missed this time around.

Fifth, I ate some NEW YORK PIZZA. Oh my goodness.

Sixth, I rode some subways. It might not sound like a big deal, but it was. It really was.

So, that's all the really important stuff. Now I'm stuck back in Santa Fe, and I want to shoot myself. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE? Finals are coming up, I have tons of papers to write, it's getting cold, and I just want to be home. It's been fun to see my friends here and exchange stories, and together we make the best of this place, but mostly this is just a waiting game for me.

I'll be home December 15th. See you in 19 days, New York. Brace yourselves.

11:11 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

!!!

I am a balloon, full to bursting! Any more love and I might explode!

11:55 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Here we go, welcome to the freakshow...

There was a time in my life when I was really sad and I wanted to die. Now I get really sad, but it's because I see so many things worth living for.

Life is a miserable construct, but I don't need to be miserable within it. I know it gets better, and that's enough for me right now.

I'm struggling here, but I am making things happen, and I'm doing it my way, so I'm happy with myself. That's an amazing feeling.

1:02 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Care packages!

Hey guys! Send me care packages at college! I'm fiending for letters, reminders of home, fresh baked goods... anything you have to offer. My address is as follows:

1600 St. Michael's Drive ..313
Santa Fe, NM 87505

Do it!

5:10 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I started taking ballet classes when I was three. I remember very little of it except sitting in a circle while everyone pointed their feet, and then walking down a dark stairwell with my mother afterwards. When I was four, we moved upstate. I didn't go to a dance class again until I was eight.

My first year at Anne Hebard's School of Ballet, I took one class week. It was a hobby, something to fill my afternoons. But it quickly became a passion, and I stayed there until we moved back to the city when I was twelve. Even then I commuted the two hours each way every weekend to get to rehearsals for The Nutcracker.

Every spring at Anne Hebard's there was a recital, and every class performed in it. It was in a local high school auditorium which was always about 10 degrees hotter than what would be considered comfortable. I still have all my tutus stored away in the attic. At the end of the show, my family always had roses for me. Sometimes pink, usually red. From my very first recital up until my very last, as well as Dracula and two years of The Nutcracker, I always dried out my roses and kept them in bottles on my shelf.

Today I threw most of them out. I've had some of them for 12 years now. I didn't think to take pictures until it was too late, and only three of the 8 bouquets remain. I am heartbroken.

I am not just heartbroken for my roses, but for my life. In 22 days I will be saying goodbye to everything I know and love and call home. My roots have grown both wide and deep in New York City. I have no desire to leave that behind. Everyone says I should be excited, but I'm not. I'm terrified, and I'm heartbroken.

6:42 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

About The Scientist

How do you choose one path or another when they both lead to a broken heart?

7:44 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

London Bridge is falling down.

I am in London. What did I do today? Well...

I got vomited on. And I was wearing the only jammies I packed, and they're my favorite ones at that.

I also went to a castle today, but I had to wait for everyone outside. There were too many steps to carry the stroller, and Scott is too heavy for me to carry all day long.

The family went to Nobu for dinner, and I was there, but Scott started fussing half-way through the appetisers so I had to walk around the block ten-thousand times while I waited for everyone else to finish their awesome dinner.

I know other things happened today, but I'm too exhausted to remember them. I'm going to go to sleep. In my clothes. Because I haven't had a single moment free to wash them (by hand) until now, and now i'm too tired.

This is great! 14 days and counting.

2:04 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment