Babies for Obama!
Current mood: rejuvenated

Yep, we did it!  Andres, my highly crowdphobic father (who missed out on the epic Monterey Music Festival and the RFK rally for fears of crowds), my nearly four month old daughter Gabriella, and even myself, who doesn't fare well in heat....braved the long lines that stretched from the waterfront to the farthest reaches of the PSU park blocks, and waited for hours to see Barak Obama speak.   And it was amazing.  Truly.   We didn't give up even when the lines snaked around and around city blocks and the temps reached into the 90's.  I am super impressed with Gabriella who endured it all, with few crying fits.  Hey, I wanna cry too when it gets too hot.  She took it all in with her huge blue eyes, watching people as they banded together to witness a historic occasion!  The event was wild.

The crowd estimate was around 72,000!  The day was beautiful, people were so friendly and polite!  And a Starbucks Strawberry Frappucino never tasted so good (sorry, we had to do it...nothing else was open or the longs were too long!).  I felt so energized and optimistic to be with my tiny little family with the people I love most in the world (although wish my best friend could've been there, too!) and watching a man make a difference.  Our country is clearly ready for a change and hope to embrace a better future and Obama really seems up for the task!  We even caught a glimpse of him from afar as we stood near the Marriott Hotel at the far end of the waterfront.  I sat on the grass with Gabriella who was soo happy to be in the shade and playing while my dad was protectively standing behind me and Andres jumped around in the crowd.  At one point, Andres even took Gabriella and perched her high up in the air, and stood her on his head, so she could see.  Who knows what she could see at this early of an age!  I would like to believe that she liked Obama, since she shook both her lion and giraffe rattle during a huge wave of applause following his words on education.  She seemed so delighted!

Yes, I feel so hopeful!  Times have been scary for us, and the whole country.  Our economy has gone to the toilet.   Schools are in turmoil as well as everything.  I really hope we get a Democrat back in the White House and I hope change will happen.  I have hope.  It's incredible how one little day can make such a difference.  72,000 people in Portland alone wanted to see that change. 

I don't want change just for myself and the country, I want it for my little girl.  I want her to grow up without fearing poverty, war, and prejudice. 

To recap yesterday....WOW!

Currently reading : The Abstinence Teacher By Tom Perrotta Release date: 2007-10-16

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Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
Current mood: contemplative

Actually, if Gabriella grew up to be a cowboy/girl, I wouldn't mind.  Really.

Thirteen weeks have just sped by in a haze of too tight onesies, diaper changes, tweats (a noise Gabriella made in her first month), coos, and numerous visits by friends and relatives.  I am already back at work and living up to that working mom image, which I'm still grasping the concept of.  I'm not a soccer mom, yet, but I do find it funny to strap Gabriella into her safari animal Graco carseat in our economical Honda Fit and fly off to daycare, trying to outrace her next cries for food and make it to work in time.  It's a juggle fest that's for sure.  I haven't mastered several things like Gabriella's schedule, but guess what...she's a BABY. She doesn't have a schedule.  And that's the beauty of her personality.

I could write for days about how much I am in love and in awe of my daughter and how she has changed our lives for the better.  Everyone says that about their kids (well some people) and I think it's beautiful.  Gabriella is my life.  Period.  I never thought that I would want to be a stay at home mom, but now it sounds so appealing and I regret having my daughter at a daycare, having some near stranger raising my child.  But I also think it will help Gabriella to become independent, make friends, and most important...trust people!  Besides, we found a wonderful daycare for her, a proper learning environment in a gorgeous old style NE Portland home, and Gabriella can swing inside, gaze at the khalediscope of colors on the ceiling and fans, or chill out on the porch all day.  Knowing my daughter, she has to do a fast combination of all the above, plus constant holding.  She digs attention, thrives on it, laughs at it, and smiles grandly. . I took her to a tea party (yes, I kid not)at Darcy's yesterday and my friend Tracey held her and perched her on her knees, so little Miss Gabriella could sit at the table and face all the ladies as we conversed about naughty things, life, death, and the plight of Miley Hannah Montana Cyrus. 

Nothing gets past Gabriella.  And that's why she doesn't nap.  People tend to sympathize with me on that, especially when they know that I spent most of maternity leave, catering to Gabriella's every whim and cry.  Housework fell by the wayside.  I didn't eat much during the day since I could barely put a sandwich together before Gabriella tired of her bouncy seat.  And I couldn't write or read anything (it took me a week once to read the "People" magazine about Heath Ledger's death).  And she went through growth spurt after ravenous growth spurt...ie...she was hungry ALL the time, day and night.  I got little sleep.

But now, my gorgeous little one sleeps through the night.  Knowing her quirky personality, that could change tomorrow, but for the last two weeks, she konks out by 9 and sleeps until 6 or 7, and maybe wakes once.  Heaven!  I miss seeing her now that I'm back at work.  TERRIBLY!  But a fully rested child is a happy child.  And our time spent together is magical.  I can whisk her along for a stroller ride at our nearby Columbia Park so we can feast our eyes on the trees and cherry blossoms, or the crazy drunk guy meandering down the path.  And we can converse on the couch where we exchange strange looks, I teach her things, and she "talks" back as she develops the capacity to talk.  And Andres partakes in these activities when he can.  My poor husband is just busier than ever.  He doesn't slow down.  Hmmm...maybe that's where Gabriella gets her energy.

I didn't realize that this would become a Mommy Blog...don't worry, I won't discuss her diapers.  I will report that she's fully grabbing onto anything, whether it's a rattle or a dangling elephant 9she's our little elephant girl!), or my hair.  She's chattering all the time.  She's even pre teething.  Yes.  At this early of an age.  She's just marvelous.  I'm simply amazed by how much a little baby goes through in a short amount of time, how they learn and develop so fast in the fight for survival and knowledge. 

So, yes, I still miss caffeine and the ability to have more than one alcoholic beverage.  And I miss that I can't run out and see some cool movie like "IronMan".  Or indulge the frivolous shopping spree.  I miss dates out with Andres.  But it's worth it.

No joke.

And everyone has been just absolutely and truly wonderful.  I am so touched by the countless visitors bearing gifts and food.  Our friends and family who have helped us out financially as we struggle through the high cost of parenthood, especially after I didn't get short term disability (curses to you, OHSU!) and had half of my leave unpaid.  Yikes.   People have just came forward and helped us so much.  I hope I can repay all of you in some way, although I can't even see how Andres and I will ever have money again. 

But things have a way of working themselves out. So, thank you, everyone.  It truly does take a village to raise a child.  Yep, motherhood makes you say cliches

 Hmmm..what other amusing thing can I say to boost my hip Mama status......

Oh, I dressed Gabriella like a cute snowboarder girl yesterday, complete in Gap overalls, long sleeved onesie decked out in pink elephants (I call it her "drunken" elephant onesie), and green and white knit hat with matching booties.  She pumped her giraffe rattle in anticipation of the day ahead of her as we drove down Lombard, listening to the newest Weezer and Death Cab songs.  Gabriella likes her indie rock....she also likes the Notorious BIG (who knew!), her Dad's bands, and "I'm Too Sexy".  Even her grandma noticed that Gabriella turned her head when she heard a "an indie rock sounding band" on TV, as if to look for Andres.

Andres, Gabriella, and I are a No Po family.  Nuff said.  We're parents.  Nothing better than that.

BTW, we're not Republicans.  Our family just happens to love elephants.  It might have been those countless viewings of "Dumbo" when I was a little girl.   Gabriella just seems to gravitate to them.  And they seem to be in style.  Why not?

Sweet.

11:29 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Last Christmas, I Gave You my Heart
Current mood: tired

The holiday is quickly approaching and my brain has turned to mush..hence why I'm just posting my answers to a silly survey..although it's regarding one of my favorite themes...the 80's!!!  Gnarly!!! 

I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas and apologize that I didn't have the energy to send greetings to each and every one of you.  I am truly grateful for the support and friendships this year, and the love everyone has showed me and my soon to be born baby.

And yes, being 34 weeks pregnant during the holidays is downright exhausting...at least, I have another month to go, knock on wood, knock on wood.   I about had a collapse in IKEA of all places...true story.  I'm too pregnant to shop...can't bend over, can't see my toes as I walk down stairs.  Belly always in the way.  But the baby is doing great and despite a scary moment/afternoon last Saturday, everything is going wonderfully.

Now, let's see if I can tackle Christmas wrapping...sheesh...

without further ado...a silly survey about the 80's....

I HEART THE 80's!!!!

1.How old were you in 1980?
Going on four years old

2. How old were you in 1989?
Approaching 13...teen age years, here I come

3. Were you a Toys R Us kid?
Oh baby....you bet.

4. Did you watch Transformers?
Not really

5. Did you see E.T. on the big screen?
A few times, yes...and you bet I waited in lines that whipped around the block.

6. Did you own a Lite Bright?
No...but I had friends that did.

7. Who is your Favorite Golden Girl?
Bea Arthur... of course! Dorothy rules!

8. When someone says " Who you gonna call? " You think?
My hero...Bill Murray...when he's not slimed and all.

9.What was your favorite toy?
Depends on the age....I loved all my Disney stuff....I had a few years obsession with Cabbage Patch kids and I owned them in massive quantities, despite being broke. Strawberry Shortcake. CareBears. My Little Pony

10. Did you have a Pogo Ball?
Nope

11. Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
Yes....I had a brief like for them in the late 80's before I discovered alternative music.

12. What New Kid did you have a crush on?
None actually

13. Did you play M.A.S.H?
Over and over and over again. Andres even wrote a song about it...it's a great Third Grade Crush ditty.

14. Did you watch The Care Bears?
OH yeah...bom bom bom.

15. Did you have Jelly bracelets?
Loved them.

16. Did you have a charm necklace and/or bracelet?
Yes...it was awesome

17. Did you own a glo-worm?
He spooked the crap out of me!

18. Did you ever own a slap bracelet?
I somehow missed this trend....

19. The Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles?
Why do you have to put me through such hard choices...sigh it's "The Breakfast Club."

20. Did you have a crazy hair style?
Umm...I was born with big hair, I was a natural for the 80's and I didn't have to add Aqua Net or anything!

21. What was your first bike?
Powder puff...then a Schwinn

22. Name one thing you remember from your childhood?
ONly one thing??? Ramblin Rod. Disneyland. Muppet Babies. Pee Wee's Playhouse. Horseback riding. Driving along the So Cal coast with my mom.

23. Did you have a Cabbage Patch Kid?
A few....dozen...ok, more like 5 or something and yes, we were poor, so I don't know how my parents managed that.

24. Did you dress like Madonna?
Maybe a little...more like the lace bows in the hair and puffy skirts

25. Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake
Rainbow Brite blows monkeys!

26. Did you watch Miami Vice?
Nah, but my Dad did and I developed an appreciation for Michael Mann after watching "Manhunter" and getting freaked out.

27. Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes?
My parents wouldn't allow me...said that there were bad for my feet. They were probably right

28. Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
Oh yeah...I had one a year for a while...one had unicorns...another had hearts. I heart my Trapper Keeper

29. Atari or Nintendo?
Atari...I was all about Donkey Kong and Frogger.

30. Did you play Pac-Man?
Yes...and Ms. Pac-Man too...don't forget!

31. Which was better: Jem and The Holograms or Barbie and the rockers?
This is so hard...I'm in a pickle! Kidding...Jem! She's truly outrageous!

32. He-Man or She-Ra?
He-Man because he's not afraid to show his feminine side

33. What movie scared you the most?
Poltergeist. And Halloween. Then again, I watched horror movies and got desensitized at a really early age....not sure how my Mom allowed all the horror movie viewing.

34. Did you try to dance like Michael Jackson?
No, but I wanted to marry him...seriously.

Currently watching : Knocked Up (Unrated Widescreen Edition) Release date: 25 September, 2007

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Merry Christmas, I Don’t Wanna Fight
Current mood: blissful

I have to admit that the holidays usually bring about mixed emotions for me.  I tire of the commercialism, the massive need to spend, spend, spend, and compete for gifts.  I am still unsure of my religious beliefs, so it's hard to figure out the true meaning of the season.  I do enjoy a lot of it, the excitement of seeing the lights, hearing "some" of the songs, seeing my family and friends, waiting for the first flakes of snow, the sparkly shine of presents. Some holiday seasons have been filled with awful memories...the biggest being that my mom died about ten years ago, shortly after New Year's.  I have come to like Christmas and winter again, but it has taken time.  The last two years have been filled with two amazing events that overshadow Christmas, Festivus, and the rest of us...buying a house last year and this year...well there will be a young arrival in our family by the end of January/early February.  Needless to say, the baby kind of dominates my thoughts and Christmas energy.  I'm not being a Grinch. I'm still enjoying the holiday season for the most part, although I find myself more numb than usual.  Still no tree.  No presents wrapped.  No stockings hung by the chimney with care.  And it might not happen.  I feel a twinge of guilt, but Andres and I are both caught up in other things...namely getting ready for baby.  And really, isn't that the best holiday present of all???

But despite all that "ambivalence", I do enjoy several things about the holidays and will share some lists...because nothing says end of the year/holiday time like lists.  I could go on about the recent baseball steroid report, Huckabee's asinine comments about HIV/AIDS, the recent floods in Veronia and Centralia (which is very SAD), Amy Winehouse and Brit's constant public breakdowns, the Led Zepplin reunion...actually there's lots to talk about...and the BABY.  But I will just focus on some holiday related things.  I also want to do a Best of 2007, but that might have to wait...I have yet to see countless movies such as "Enchanted", "Juno", "Sweeney Todd", "The Savages", "Charlie Wilson's War", "Margot at the Wedding", "The Kite Runner" and "I Am Legend" before I can formulate a better opinion.  I will try to hold to my promise of this...unless the baby pops out early!

Favorite Christmas centric movies (maybe I did this list last  year, but I don't mind repeats):

Love Actually....still can't decide which story is my favorite...although I love Billy Nighy's aging rocker and well, who doesn't love Colin Firth and marching through the streets with people in tow to profess his love to his beautiful assistant.  And I always tear up at the ending at Heathrow Airport when they play the Beach Boys "God Only Knows".  And this isn't purely a chick flick...I know several males who adore this movie as well.

Edward Scissorhands

Die Hard (really!)

Bad Santa

Home Alone

Elf... "SANTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""""""

A Christmas Story

Trading Places

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Nightmare Before Christmas

It's a Wonderful Life...yes, it's been on a million times, but I revisited this gem a year ago and I still understand why it touches people even after all this time.

Gremlins  (the deranged take on "It's a Wonderful Life")

Scrooged...although it took me years to appreciate it...and I mean years!

TV Specials and Moments:

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Best Christmas Pageant Ever (naughty kids learn the meaning of the season)

Charlie Brown Christmas

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer...but  Santa is such an ass in this special.

Frosty the Snowmen

SNL's 1986 skit "It's a Wonderful Life: Alternate Ending" where Dana Carvey is Jimmy Stewart and Jon Lovitz plays the evil Mr. Potter character.  They townspeople take revenge on Mr. Potter and beat the savage crap out of him...with even the wife, Mary, taking a bat to his head.

Other SNL skits...The Hannukah song...Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein singing Christmas wishes (we miss you, Phil Hartman!), Will Ferrell singing "It's The Most Wonderful Time" of the year on a spinning stage that's "going a little fast" and prompting him to barf on the backup choir, Jon Lovitz as Hannukah Harry...and so much more merriment...and yes, even the Schweaty Balls skit...although it makes me cringe every damn time.

Six Feet Under episode where the Hell's Angel biker dies en route to being Santa and the Hell's Angels type crew holds the funeral service  at Fischer and Sons funeral home on Christmas.  They play old 70's songs until the wee hours ("Don't Fear the Reaper") of the morning and Nate gets a motorcycle for Christmas.  Gawd, I miss this damn show.

And here's to other Christmas memories of my life...Dominique's festive Christmas Eve Italian dinners...why, oh, why must you live in South Carolina now??? Christmas in Southern California with my mom. Conning my parents into thinking I still believed in Santa a couple years beyond my finding out the truth.  All holidays spent with Andres.  And I'm sure Christmas 2008 will be extra special....I just know it.

And yes, a shout out to Peppermint Mochas...although I can't have you in your caffienated glory...I still look forward to you every winter season..and well, let's just add Peppermint M&M's, Peppermint ice cream from Dreyer's (and I admit to liking Tillamook's take on that flavor)and those Christmas Jo Jo's from Trader Joe's.  It's weird...I don't like peppermint on it's own, but I LOVE it combined with chocolate...so refreshing.

Happy Holidays...Season's Greetings....Happy Hannukah...Kwanza..Festivus..Chrismukkah...Winter Solstice.

Have a Holly Jolly something something.

Currently watching : The Sopranos - Season 6, Part 2 Release date: 23 October, 2007

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Where is my Mind?
Current mood: determined

I have evolved into a spaz.  The pregnancy has finallly taken over my brain.  I have made some clutzy moves and dropped several things.  I have found myself heading into a room, whether it's the staff lunch room or the hallway at OHSU, and forgetting why I got up in the first place.  My brain is filled with fog.  Watch me drop my cell phone, pick it up with butter fingers, and drop it again and again while I wait in the agonizingly slow line at the OHSU parking office.  Want some parmesian for that mussel pasta, Andres?? Whoops, mind if I spill half of into the sink???.  Sink adds extra flavor, ya know!  Excuse me while I spill my water all over you, a complete stranger, and continue on my way since I didn't even see it happen, while Andres is trailing after me and apologizing profusely.  Then I'll realize what I did and beg Andres to find me "a table" to clean up the spill, when I really mean napkin.   Or hear me as I crash into all of Andres' piles of CD's lying on our living room floor (why are they there??? Don't ask) and make Godzilla like cries as I react and bounce into the hard edge of my desk.  I'm a walking monster...the attack of the 50 foot pregnant woman.  Grarghhhhhh!!!

And I did the ultimate clumsy/scatterbrained act last Sunday night, one that I'm embarassed to admit and I'm sure Andres is chuckling about with his friends.  But I guess I'll share it anyway.....After a nice waffle sandwich breakfast at the Flavor Spot (if  you don't know what I mean...you need to stop by this place on North Lombard...ASAP!  It's awesome!) and a nice afternoon out of Stumptown Coffee, movies at Pioneer Place, and shopping at Trader Yo's, we came home feeling all peaceful and that usual Sunday night melancholy..you know the mood, the one where you're sad that the weekend is over and  you have to face yet another work or school week.  I went into the house and got into a mild panic at seeing a half basket of dirty laundry.  Half full usually means optimisim, but not in the case of dirty laundry!  I ran about the house, grabbing all that I could see to start laundry.  Somehow Andres' navy blue hoodie ended up in the basket, one that he said that didn't need to be cleaned, but most important of all...it was the one that held his cell phone, which I didn't know at the time.  I threw everything into the machines and left it to eat dinner and watch "Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror".  Never mind that I kept hearing a loud thumping...more like banging in the washer first, then again in the dryer.  Sure, I investigated it, but couldn't quite figure it out.

 But much later, while Andres had passed out to the "Family Guy" and I busied myself with household chores (to avoid my disdain for that show), I opened the dryer and out tumbled Andres' cell...in several pieces.  I about bit my fist in pure confusion and terror.  I trembled and brought the pieces to a half comatose Andres and confronted him.  He was annoyed, but not mad as he put the pieces together and still saw that his SIM card was drenched or fried or whatever.  Despite his "understading"....somehow I started crying and ran into the bedroom (weeping is another effect of pregnancy).  I remembered all the times when my sick mother ranted at me for stupid things...things that kids naturally do and things that were beyond my control....like not following the gas station attendant's directions to Pomona since Mom insisted that she couldn't do that (she always got lost!) and felt that complicated freeway directions should fall on a ten  year old's shoulders.  Never mind the times that I read the directions to her in perfect detail and told her to make the appropriate turn, only to have her ignore the exit and yell at me later.  Or my not knowing how to set up the new VCR despite the fact that the guy at Circuit City gave her detailed instructions while I wondered around.  She would just YELL at me for lots of things like that.  Sure, I can understand a parent getting mad if a child spills milk or dumps a bottle of shampoo, but it's an annoyance, not full on rage and to berate me for not knowing "adult things", it was insane.  Dare I even mention that this was when my mom was terribly "sick".  She wasn't like when she was healthy...not even close.

And dropping Andres' precious cell in the wash right before a really stressful week for him and during a key night where he was expecting sub job calls...it just made me feel...well...stupid and insecure.  All those negative memories flooded out and caused me to cry, probably longer than I normally would. 

Most of you who know me well fully understand that I don't like to lose control or forget things or be less than composed.  I understand that forgetting things and being clumsy is all part of pregnancy.  I even recall forgetting how to get to the doctor's office on the day that I found out I was pregnant...I drove right past it and way down Division before realizing my missed turn.  I RARELY do things like that and it all started after I was pregnant.  Andres has been very understanding, reminding me not to be hard on myself as the "whoops!  I dropped another plate" happens or when I'm in the middle of a packed coffee shop and curse out loud when my Converse shoes are untied...again!  Untied shoes shouldn't be tedious, but they are a total chore when you're in your third trimester and bending down feels like moving a boulder up a mountain.

I hate "losing my mind" but I need and will be at peace with it.  Besides, it will end after pregnancy..right???  Sometime within the next 18 years??  

And for those who care (sorry if you tire of the pregnancy chit chat), Baby Caputo is still bouncing, sommersaulting, headbanging, and doing the conga in there.  I still like to think that s/he appreciates music and loud things..but maybe it's in protest.  Maybe h/she really didn't like my seeing "Transformers" alone at the Bagdad Theater a few weeks back and hearing upteen number of explosions and that's why I experienced several pummels under my belly button.  Maybe the baby hates loud rocking and drumming?  And I'm sure if I'm a little late in eating, the kicks and thrusts at my side, are true signs of hunger on the baby's part.   "YO!  I'm starving in here!"  Who knows?? But I'm loving the movement, pretty much all the time, except for that one "KER POW!" against my left side that allowed me to exclaim in shock in the middle of a work day.  Noting triggered it.  I was just charting madly away, my body was full, and there was relatively little noise to be heard.  Maybe the baby wanted to kickstart some noise.   Or.....maybe baby doesn't like me working and I can't blame her/him!

Well, it's Election Day and I hope all of you have voted by now, although I have little faith that these measures will pass, especially the tobacco tax that would help insure children.  If our dang President won't advocate for child healthcare, why should I expect others to???  Sure, I live in liberal Oregon (well the PDX part of it), but so many people are against taxes or better yet...ammendments to the Constitution.  Sigh.  I wish I could articulate this better, but I will leave it toAndres...who already wrote a ranting blog (see his My Space page) about it while drinking a beer at the Crow Bar.  Oh, Crow Bar and your awesome jukebox with Bowie, Cure, Band of Horses, Echo and the Bunnymen, and so much more, and Celebration ("It's a celebration, bitches!") ale on tap....how I miss you so.  I love spending long hours in your cozy room and walking out in the night and window shopping Black Wagon next door with all the cute hipster kid styles, books like "Baby Help Me Balance my Checkbook" and Warhol's Guide to Colors, and adorable bundles of Small Paul.  The lure of North Mississipp is calling me....but I'll be there again...probably next week!

As the fall days creep on and meld into winter, I am trying to embrace the fact that I have little time and all the time in the world...in terms of preparations for the dramatic change in my life.  Fall is my favorite time, not just because of the lush colors, the kids (and adults) leaping into leaf piles, the aroma of pumpkin spice, jack o' laterns, fall sweaters, Halloween and even the cold November rain...it's just the mood and the days where the sun still shines, casting a bewitching spell on everyone.

No I don't have a problem with the November rain..except if it does rain on my wedding day, I hope no one goes crazy and decides to slide into my wedding cake.  I have to bring up that damn Guns n' Roses video whenever I get the chance...talk about videos that forever changed me.  We even "mimicked" a scene in our wedding,although it went over most people's heads!  I digress....so I will leave you to your workdays and what not, so I can get back to work and then head off to yet another parenting class.  I have lots to look foward for the remainder of fall...or really, just within the next few weeks...a trip to see my best friend and my nephews will be in town for a few days around Terducken Tofurky Thanksgiving Day....a lot to be thankful for...but I'm still not ready for Christmas tunes...not  yet... Please be kind.

Happy fall and November Rain!

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Currently reading : A Good and Happy Child: A Novel By Justin Evans Release date: 22 May, 2007

3:23 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning
Current mood: grateful

Last night, I had a strange and unnerving dream...make that nightmare... where I was swimming.   Most of you know that I'm a lifelong water baby and a very strong swimmer, so any dream or thought where the water is not my friend is truly upsetting.

It was one of those dreams where you hear things in "real life" and it's incorporated into your visions.  I dreamt that I plunged or swam down to the depths of a 9 foot pool, possibly larger.  I felt very content as I did this and felt calm as my fingers skimmed the ridges of the bottom, but as I swam back up to the surface, things started to fall apart.  It took agonizingly longer than I expected.  I felt my energy disapate and panic set in, worrying I wouldn't make it to the top and kill not only myself, but my unborn child.  I stretched my hands as far as they could go, but I kept feeling water, not the surface, not even the reassuring splashes.  I couldn't move the water or push at it.  I could also hear Andres snoring somwhere...perhaps by the side of the pool, so I knew that he couldn't wake up and save me from drowning.  I think I either woke up as I finally made it to the top...or maybe I didn't.  

I checked the digital clock on our nightstand to see that it was 3 am, Andres was snoring soundly next to me, Momma was in a tight ball by my head (don't ask)....and I was still having trouble breathing, as if my dream crept into my reality (hello Freddy Krueger!).  I originally thought I was having some kind of panic attack, then realized that it was that "shortness of breath" symptom that some pregnant women get.  I tried to get back to sleep, but it was a chore.  In the morning, I thumbed through the love it or hate it (I'm somewhere in between) manual, "What to Expect When You're Expecting."  Yep, the book reaffirmed that what I have is totally normal...that feeling like I can't take in a long and relaxing breath since my body is changing again, moving things around, and putting pressure on the lungs.  Oh joy.  And last week, I got to experience a painful bout of ligament pain...I won't go into details.   I already feel like an old lady, griping about my gout and the crazy kids on my lawn.....

It's so bizarre and yet wonderful to see how the body COMPLETELY transforms during this time.  I had no idea that I would have baffling nightmares, but it's all par for the course, apparently.  I knew that I would have vivid dreams, which I have had quite a few, but didn't think graphic nightmares would occur.   I've felt like I've dreamt a few horror movies and some terrible psychodramas, involving friends and family.  I usually wake myself from them, to feel the one pounder (and going strong) stirring  inside, as if trying to help me wake up.

So, aside from all that unsettling stuff (fatigue...will you ever go away?  Pains in my hips and legs.  Feeling asthmatic walking down the street), I still feel a certain sense of magic and wonderment.  I like lying in bed and fully appreciating the enormous belly, placing my hands at certain spots to try to detect where the baby is.  Hearing Andres chuckle and say, "Yep, you're pregnant!" on a daily basis.  Buying the baby necessities.  Wondering if the baby will be a gorgeous boy or beautiful girl.  Even my dreams about the baby are ambigious in nature...a kind of "It's Pat" ("Time for Androgyny!").  I had one 1970's/feminie hygiene commercial dream where Andres and I were in a blowing wheat field during a clear day with the sun beating down in Sofia Coppola directed-esque shimmers and we played with our child, who had features similar to my mom and was wearing pristeen white, and had a glorious head of hair, with shades of my mom's California surfer blonde locks combined with Andres's reddish tones.  Our child laughed lyrically and all was happy.  A Pantene commercial if  you will.

Soooo....I've got babies on the brain, but can you blame me??? What else can I bloggedy blog blog about??? I'm still just overwhelmed and totally touched by the outstanding generousity of my friends who are helping me through this time. The saying,  it takes a village to raise a child is quite perceptive.  People really look out for you in these times.  I already have a ton of baby gear thanks to my lovely friends and family.  And two EXTRA SPECIAL friends took me out on a Ladies Day adventure last weekend that I will never forget.  It was such a lovely day and I can't believe that I didn't start crying tears of joy over their gifts and support.  I feel very lucky and I know the baby does, too.  Things seem to be turning up.  I even ran into an old friend over the weekend that was just unbelievable and strange and comforting in many different aspects.  I will not say who for fear of who reads this blog (although you probably don't), but it was definitely not what I expected on a Saturday morning, especially while wearing an oversized sweatshirt and maternity pants, with that really not-so-sexy just crawled out of bed look (I had to take my in-laws to the airport first thing on a Saturday).  The random encounter brought on so many mixed emotions, that it would be just complicated to explain why...so I will just change the subject!

I also heard from college best friends that I haven't talked in ages last weekend, so it was a memory book of old faces and familiar voices.

And it's my favorite time of the year...Fall!!! And  my favorite month, OCTOBER, has just begun and I have soooo many optimistic thoughts that it will be a good one.  October has always been my favorite because of Halloween.  I suspect that January will soon take over the top spot after the baby is born unless the Aquarius child (but s/he could be a Capricorn if early) sails into the world in February, right in time for Groundhog Day or God forbid, Valentine's Day. Not that I hate V-Day, but I will have been more than two weeks overdue.  Ugh!

I plan to see some really close friends within a few weeks, so that will be nice.  Not everything is perfect, everyone goes through their emotional ups and downs, but I just want everyone to be happy.  I seem to have escaped my rough patch for now and that's wonderful. I couldn't have done it without the love and friendship of so many people...and the little one growing inside of me.

Here's my usual gripes and loves for this blog, because...well, 'cuz I feel like it!

Gripes:

People who don't make room on the bus or MAX for the disabled, small children, elderly, and yes, you guessed it...pregnant ladies.  I really loved that gentleman who barreled past me on the crowded MAX to get to the seat that had just opened right next to me.  I know that I still don't look that pregnant...such is the case if you're a big German gal like me...but C'MON!

And that reminds...I really adored that one stoner dude at the Dinosaur Jr show. It was bad enough that the place was packed to the gills and sponsored by Camel Cigarettes, so everyone was smoking and checking out the numerous Camel booths.  I couldn't even move around without getting a blast of nicotine smoke in my face or being shoved around by eager concert goers.  But the icing on the cake was when I was heading back up the stairs to the balcony and a gleefully stoned guy with a skateboard, placed his hand on my belly, and said, "Hey Pregnant Lady, you got a smoke?"  I stared him straight in the eye and said, "What do you think?"  He just smiled and said that it would still be cool if I smoked.  I really had to refrain myself from kicking him over the balcony. And Lord knows, Andres has heard my griping about this since that concert.  Oh, and the concert kicked TOTAL ass, despite those petty annoyances.

Having my cell phone die a long and lingering death. 

Depending on said technology.

Britney Spears....dang straight she lost custody of her kids.  But I do feel sorry for her. I hope she gets help and doesn't end up overdosing or dying like other notorious train wrecks of celeb history.

Loves:

My new cell phone!  Red hot!

The Built to Spill and Camper Van Beethoven show at the Crystal.  Thankfully, this was smoke and Camel free. It was still packed, but I found a miraculous chair downstairs and planted my butt on it all night long...or until the final part where I joined Andres and our radical (because Dustin loves that word) friends Heather and Dustin near the front of the stage.  It might have been hearing Sam Coomes (of Quasi) banging away on his organ/piano (sorry with pregnancy, comes the loss of words) that enticed me.  I felt like I stepped back in time to the late 90's when I was an indie rock girl....forever wearing thrift store dresses or loud 1970's shirts, dirt poor and in love with music and the Portland scene.  The good ole' days! 

"30 Rock" and "The Office Season Three" on DVD...Andres and I rented all of these episodes over the last two weeks in a mad craze.  It made for some cozy nights.  Now, I have to pick some new fall shows to watch, but have refrained so far...with the exception of "Aliens in America".  I'm terribly intrigued by "Reaper" and "Pushing Daisies" with a slight interest in "Bionic Woman", but feel myself creating some distance.  Do I really need to get obsessed with another TV show???  And "Heroes" is on again...that will keep me obsessed for another season, at least.  Oh Claire, don't cut off your toe!! Owch!  And nice mountain man beard, Nathan!  You went all Grizzly Adams on us....not so sexy and we all know that I dig beards and facial hair.

Last Thursday...still rocks!  And I feel much more content with the relocation of the Clown House...they kinda scared me.  I adore that Last Thursday still contains both the truly artistic and the obscenely tacky.

Ikea...you make a pregnant mom to be very content that there's still cool and practical furniture out there that won't cost an arm and a leg.

All right, that's all folks...see ya on the next installment....
Cheers!  And happy freaking Halloween...you should celebrate it all month long!  Carve pumpkins! Watch scary movies! Gorge on candy!  Be nice to witches!  Bark at the Harvest Moon!  Do what ya feel!  Welcome to my nightmare!

Currently reading : Michael Tolliver Lives: A Novel By Armistead Maupin Release date: 12 June, 2007

2:11 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

We’ll All Float On....
Current mood: depressed

Sigh....as much as I hate doing this...I like to keep calm and cool (although those who know me well know that I'm slightly anxiety ridden), but life has just been too bumpy for too long....try about a month of feeling anxious and uncertain and confused.   I'm tired of this stupid cycle that seems to occur around back to school time.  I know that pregnant women are supposed to be forgetful and scatterbrained, but I can't blame my inepitude of finding the way to I-5 from Greeley this morning (despite traveling the same route a million times before)  on pregnancy...it was more that my mind was in a different zone, and I was fighting tears...AGAIN!  No, it's not the damn hormones!

Instead of writing a long tirade, I'm just going to get this off...my...ahem!...chest in the form of a list.  It's how I process sometimes.  And  I know we that all love lists. . . .

CURRENT RANTS!!!

Andres being unemployed again...not his fault, I blame Portland Public Schools for never hiring this awesome teacher for a full time PERMAMENT position...is it too much to ask??? And I'm not saying it because I'm married to him and love him dearly...he is a f$*'ng fabulous teacher.  The schools are missing out...big time.  This cycle has gone on since before we married and HELLO, we just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary last month! 

Being broke....not like I got enough of my mind...in the past it's always sucked to be broke, but being broke while having a little one growing inside of you really hits the panic button.  How can we buy a kid friendly vehicle (sorry Crunchy, but the infant can't roll around in the cab of a truck), decorate a baby room, and buy ten thousand infant necessities...let alone afford the astronomical costs of daycare when we are cash poor already?????  I'm about to do something drastic!  But really, I can't head down to SE 82nd and pick up a job at Mr. Peeps or do anything that desperate...because once again, I'm knocked up!

Feeling bad about being broke...I know, I know, I have it damn good since I have a house and tons of support and a GREAT job.  I work with people who have significantly less than me, live on the streets, face debilitating diseases and constantly struggle to survive, so I really shouldn't bitch.  I realize my place in life and how good I have it...but I'm just a bit scared right now.  Forgive me for feeling this way.

The Election 2008 Race is already starting!  WTF???  And it's already freaking me out.....aiiiiiiiii!!!!

High temps in September...Jebus!  Don't you realize that it's back to school and we should be wearing our nice autumn clothes by now????   Weird weather...stupid global warming!

And why oh why, did Dinosaur Jr and Band of Horses have to constantly advertise their show as smoker friendly????  "Smoking Permitted at this Event".  I'm super excited to see both bands, but after hearing that Dinosaur Jr is one of the loudest bands around and then learning that it's going to be a smokers' paradise...I just want to hide in the balcony with an oxygen mask.  I have nothing against smokers or loud music, but it's not a great mixture for me.  Probably the baby will be doing cartwheels inside for the duration of the show..Good God...I'm going to fall down!

Ok, now I will focus on all that's lovely and divine about my life lately...much to your relief.....

"These are a few of my favorite things" (currently in Sept 07):

The Quickening...... for those who are not well versed in "maternity vernacular", this is not a horror movie, it's the time period when you start feeling the baby move.  And ever since Labor Day weekend, boy, has the little tomato been rocking out!  Andres can't tell yet, which makes me sad because I know it would cheer him up, but I certainly can.  Five am...BAM BAM BAM on my lower abdomen.  The Mello Outs warm up before their awesome show last night at Hawthorne Theater and Bambino/a does a swift kick to my left side right as the drums start beating.  I was sitting at work, talking to my co-worker, Dennis, and bolted straight out of my chair when it felt like Babykins was doing a rat-a-tat-tat against my lower right side.   Baby is traveling around for sure...so despite a crappy ultrasound, I'm reassured by the enthusiastic exercise/dance regimen of my little one.  Bliss! I find it strangely appropriate that I started off my summer with knowing that I was pregnant (found out the Friday of Memorial Day weekend) and ended the summer with the infant making his/her prescence quite known on Labor Day weekend.  Baby likes to rock out the summer with panache and humor!

Traveling to Central Oregon to see the Shins!  I have heard that the Shins are a mixed bag, but I was in love with their show.  God/dess/whatever was in a fickle mood that day...sporadic hailstorms, thunder, lightning (didn't rain men, though..Damn), and rain followed by high temps in the 90's.  The temperamental climate threatened the show and we weren't sure if the Shins would even make it.  The crowd spent many minutes watching lightning crack across the sky followed by shrieks of laughter and profanity.  But finally, the Shins came on stage, flipped off the sky (Take that, Mother Nature!) and roared into a fabulous set.  They improved as the night wore on...probably because the sound got better.   I felt my heart soar, sometime even felt misty eyed...sure, I've seen lots of amazing shows and legendary bands, but this was one of my favorite concerts in a long, long, long while.  I also bought one of my first items for Nameless Baby Caputo...a Shins onesie!  Yes, Andres and I are getting to be one of "those parents".  Shoot me!  Oh yeah, and Bend was nice, too!  All hail Deschutes Brew Pub and cheap lunch specials at Pizza Mondo!  And shout outs to the ducks at Mirror Pond/Drake Park who have made me smile since the days of my youth.  Quack quack!

Julia starting grad school!  Woo hoo!  Andres starting classes at PSU for poli sci in late September...Yippeeee!  Tracey earning credits towards being an RN.   Certain friends who are wowing the job interview circuit...you guys rock!  It inspires me!

I love all my friends that have been terribly supportive to me during this summer, through my ups and downs.  Andres has been amazing as always, as well as his parents and my lovable Daddy O.  Megan has been steadfast and supportive and strong despite the miles and lack of phone calls...so freaking sorry...she's been there for me.  Julia, Robin, Susan and Andrej, Rhi, Tracey , Farrah, Darcy, Jason and Stacie, Doug and Amy, and aformentioned friend's spouses/partners....my co-workers, Andres' bandmates and "bandaids",  my family and an endless stream of friends including ones I just communicate with by snail mail, email, and My Space...you all have been absolutely wonderful, full of humor, and I feel truly blessed.  Baby does, too!

Ok, so maybe that wasn't so bad after all...Plus, I had the added bonus of spying an odd sight on my way up the winding hill to OHSU today...it was like something out of the "Sopranos".  A sinister looking black luxury car (a Buick?) was parked in the middle of the woods and a Big Pussy lookalike (sorry I'm referring to the "Sopranos") stood next to the car, looking very serious, dressed in an Italian suit, and talking on a cell phone while packing back and forth.  Hmmmm...maybe the mafia has arrived on Pill Hill!  Cue opening credits to "Sopranos" now and show scenes of The Tram, Burnside Bridge, and the Made in Oregon deer sign....

With that, I will return to my normally scheduled work day (which promises to be a loooong night...how nice for a Friday) and leave you to your lives. I will try to write about something nicer next time...perhaps kittens and gum drops and chocolate sunsets...does that make you happy?

Currently listening : Get Yr Blood Sucked Out By Viva Voce Release date: 12 September, 2006

10:40 AM - 4 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Hang in there, Little Tomato!
Current mood: anxious

Alas, summer is drawing to a close.  It's been a very tortured summer, not to go all emo on  you, but it seems that way.  A few people I know wouldn't even call it summer since we've had so much rain, gloom and doom throughout the months.  It's been State Fair weather since late July.  As much as I abhor horrible heat (and my ankles didn't react kindly to last week's mini-heatwave), I definitely agree that it hasn't been the sunniest summer.  But aside from the old lady weather discussion, it's just been a weird summer.  So many of my friends and family are going through dramatic shifts and transitions in their lives.  Some good, some pretty bad.  I have several close friends who are going back to school (including Andres!) for continued education or master's degrees.  Bravo to them.  I'm forever jealous and impressed.  A couple friends are newly pregnant, but I'm not naming names since both are very early and not making public announcents (but congrats to you two!).  Some have lost jobs, can't find jobs, or starting new careers.  Some are burdened with their own personal dramas and I wish I could just take it all away.  And within my little Casa Di Caputo, things aren't really easy either.  We're facing financially hard times and not because of the little bambino/a (don't ever blame  yourself, little tomato!).  I have to admit that I'm scared, confused, and excited about what the upcoming season (fall!) and end of 2007 will  hold.  I know it will all work out.  Just last August, we were facing "eviction" from our bungalow in SE and Andres was unemployed.  We had nowhere to go.   But thanks to our friends and family, we made it.  And look how far we have come from then....we own a home and we're expecting a baby in a matter of months (HOLY $%^!!!!)  I don't want to be dramatic and do the woe-is-me dance, but I have to be honest and just say....I'm a little scared.  It's only human. 

For those who care, the pregnancy is going well.  I actually like being pregnant...of course after I revealed that to Andres, he answered with "Well, now you do.  Let's see  how you are in the last trimester."  After battling the intense feelings, crippling fatigue, and constant nausea of the first trimester, I feel like I'm back to my normal self, only I'm now carrying a little one inside.  Sure, I approach the scale each week with trepidation, reeling over the fact that this is the heaviest I have ever been.  I approach my closet every day with anxiety, worrying that my multi purpose skirts have finally gave in and popped over my expanding belly.  I feel certain that I'm going to have a girl....I mean aren't moms psychic/intuitive about these things?  And despite warning the ultrasound technicians not to tell us the sex, she still said things, "Little buddy" and "he."  So wow, maybe it really is a bambino.  But yet, I still wake up every day with the realization that I'm a mom to be and a beautiful being/person is forming inside of me.  I can't even begin to describe how that feels.  I wonder what s/he will be like all the time.  I can't wait for the trips to the park, the zoo, across country, plays, concerts, puppet shows, and even the pumpkin patch.

So many questions, so many concerns.  Ah, it's what being a parent is all about. 

It has been a wild summer for sure.  Several camping trips with a vast assortment of family and friends.  Andres turned 30...welcome to being an old geezer.  I've been married FIVE years.  My friends Doug and Amy had a new baby a couple weeks ago.  Yay!  Several great shows and summer movies that actually didn't stink.  It's been a "Harry Potter" summer in many aspects.  I feel oh so contemplative....and like I have nothing cool to say.

I need to reflect a tiny bit on what I've been reading lately...since it requires a hop, skip, and a jump down nostalgia lane (it's what I'm known for, after all!).  I recently read "Everything I Needed to Know About Being a Girl, I Learned from  Judy Blume", a compilation of "chick lit" writers looking back or on the great works of my one of my life long favorite writers.  I was a bit disappointed that it didn't really capture the books that I truly loved, but then again some of them wouldn't fall into the "girl" category like "SuperFudge"...and the many escapades of Peter's baby brother wrecking havoc on his days.  And hardly anything on another beloved story, "Tiger Eyes", about a young girl dealing with emotions after her father was tragically killed.  And last but not least, my absolute favorite Judy Blume novel and one of my favorite books of childhood (if not adulthood), "Starring Sally J. Friedman as Herself."  The novel was enormous, although I read several large tomes similar to this in my youth, including the ginormous "Harriet the Spy" and "Gone with the Wind" (I was always several reading levels above my classmates in early grade school).  Sally J. Friedman captured the WWII time period in a vivid way, describing her adventures in Florida, trying to be like the movie stars and imagining Hitler as her neighbor.  All of the authors mentioned how they felt similar to the heroine in "Forever" (the naughty sex novel) or "Deenie" (which I also loved, but not to the extent of the others), or even "Wifey" (the ultimate naughty adult porno book), but I mostly identified with Sally.  A vividly imanginative girl who adored the beach and movie stars, and trying to make her own mark in her own crazy family.  But it also commented on the sadness and horrors of society, as Sally learns about Hitler and the devastating genocide of thousands of Jews.

Now, I'm in the middle of another ode to childhood, more like my teenage years, in the form of "How Sassy Changed My Life: A Love Letter to the Greatest Teen Magazine of all Time." I think I have mentioned several times before that "Sassy" was IT for me in high school.  "Sassy" along with an ancient MTV (one that played videos mostly non-stop and premiered the originally innovative "Real World: New York") and 970 The Beat really helped to shape and construct my high school years.  The tragic thing is that I honestly can't remember how I stumbled upon "Sassy".  I know that I was a voracious reader of "Seventeen", "EW" and "Premiere" from early high school, but I don't think I discovered "Sassy" until sophomore year.  Either I bought it at the PDX airport before hopping on a plane to So Cal or I thumbed through it at the Walden Books in the Salem Centre Mall.  Or maybe, just maybe, I started reading it when I hung out in Rhi's ultra cool room, while we listened to Violent Femmes and Pearl Jam.  Who knows, but it was an amazing magazine.  I am my own inspiration, but I know that it provided me with details about lesser known acts, great cinema, alterna-cool (grunge..shudder) fashion and designers like Betsy Johnson, and informed me about the mystical LA  "Weetzie Bat" series and Blake Nelson's "Girl" (another lifelong favorite of mine that perfectly captured the essence of the early 90's Portland rock scene/youth culture).  I adored the covers that showcased Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love in "wedded bliss", Mayim Balik displaying her beautiful grin and oversized "Blossom" hats, or just plain normal girls.  The magazine was far from perfect and could be just as pretentious as it's other teen magazine counterparts (ripping on "90210" despite the fact that most of the staff were avid viewers), but it was just an amazing piece of journalism, and very, very timely, signalling a dawn and end to a deeply creative, destructive, and strange age of early 1990's music, politics, cinema, and pop culture.  Plus, it inspired many girls....ahem...women to start zines and write!  I can never find error with that.  I hope something like "Sassy" comes along again.  "Bust" kind of comes close, but it's just not the same.  I had great hope for "Jane" when it first came out.  I remember spying it on the newstands of some grocery store out in Central Oregon, during a camping trip with Andres, and seeing a radiant and "magical" Drew Barrymore staring at us from the cover.  Andres bought it for me and I was hooked for a few issues, until it succombed to the corporate machine and evils...becoming just like every other young women's magazine out there.  Sigh. 

I love you "Sassy" and Judy Blume...thanks for giving me, quote, unquote..."grrrrl power".

Enjoy the rest of your summers, everyone!

Currently listening : Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (Limited Edition Bonus Disc) By Spoon Release date: 10 July, 2007

2:16 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Vogue!
Current mood: blah

Once again, I'm stealing blog ideas from bulletins.  My old pal Mike Snook (and one of my first friends at  South) posted this survey and I had to share beyond the confines of the bulletins.  Surveys are my weakness.  I also think I answered this same survey like a year ago, so some might be all too familiar to you.  Then again, some of you went through the same year with me.

Here it goes:

"""Your 8th grade year in Middle School is supposed to be "the worst year of your life." (really, I didn't realize!)

Let's see how much you remember.  I know for some it might be hard for you to go back that far!


1. Who were your best friends?
Megan McCoid, my ultra stylin', incredibly artistic and smart best friend for life.  Han Nguyen, my pretty and sporty friend who was loved by all.  Michelle Hadley, my other brainy and tomboyish swim team rival/compadre.  They were some of the smartest girls in school and had been my best friends for a very long time.   I was also close with a small group of 7th graders, thanks to my drama days...they were Angela Fetch, Desiree Garcia, and Allison Spedale (who ended up going to Lewis and Clark Colleger later on in life).   Unfortunately, those friendships with the younger gals faded away once I fled to South.

2. What sports did you play?
Swim Team....but through the City of Salem.  I tried to avoid the Walker Middle School swimming pool, it's the place that cats crawled to in order to die.

3. Did you take your lunch?
Probably not.  I wasn't eating lunch back then...it was terrible and my dear three best friends called me on it regularly.

4. It's Friday night, where were you?
Sheesh...at friends' houses.  Going to the mall (it was SALEM!  I'm not that materialisitc).  Going to movies.  Babysitting.

5. Were you a party animal?
I sooo wanted to be.

6. Were you in the "In Crowd"?
I don't think I was ever in that crowd...I had lots of friends pretty much all of junior high and high school....maybe I was popular, I don't know.

7. Ever skip school?
How??? Walker wasn't close to anything except a Safeway...when it was a crappy Safeway.  I was also a good kid.

8. Ever smoke?
Nope.

9. Were you a nerd?
Nah.

10. Did you get suspended/expelled?
No way, no day.

11. Did someone in a grade below you have a crush on you?
If someone did, I was sooo not aware of it.

12. Who was your favorite teacher?
I loved my Spanish teacher, Mrs. Steinmetz.  I also loved Mrs. Baldwin (I think that was her name) who taught English...although people used to spy her buying booze by the truckload.  Hey, who says that teachers can't drink??? I also really liked Mrs. Rogers...daughter to my grade school Reading teacher, Mrs. Rhinehart.  Loved those two!

13. Favorite class?
Spanish.  I liked Art until a certain other former best friend/school braniac. who hated me at the time, smashed my art project....not naming names.  But we patched things up by middle of high school.

14. What was your schools full name?
Walker Middle School

15. School mascot?
Wildcats...a ha!

16. Who'd you dance with?
I didn't...except maybe I danced to Tone Loc and Young MC with my friends.  I didn't get asked much at Walker or South.  I remember saving up to buy a pastel floral printed dress (shush! It was the late 80's/early 90's) for the last dance of 8th Grade.  I went with my neighbor friend, Amy, and basically spent the whole dance, not dancing with anyone.  I think I got teary eyed at some Phil Collins song that was popular at the time (well, with me!) and that my crush was too busy horsing around with his friends to notice the slow dancing.  Sigh...love hurts.

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
Like Mike, I also loved 8th grade.  It made up for the first part of 7th grade's total crappiness and lonliness.

18. What do you remember the most about middle school?

Seeing movies on video or in the theaters with friends..."Ghost" was a big deal by that summer.  Art class field trip to Portland Art Museum....I remember borrowing Megan's newest tapes and listening to B-52's and Madonna on the bus.  My lovely friends.  Drama club.  Getting poison oak from tainted fishing pole/sticks for "Lil Abner" (thanks Dale Collingwood! No, really, I forgive you).   Boys...sorry, yes, I said it.  Music...the emergence of hip hop for better or worse.  Playing badmintion at Han's house. Spandex.  Tight and high waisted jeans.  Going to the Enchanted Forest for a friend's birthday party and seeing (and actually realizing) a male friend that I probably had liked all year long, but didn't have that epiphany until school was over and done with.  Summers in California.  Transitioning from middle school to high school way across the river.  Writing.  Winning a speech competition despite sounding like the Micro Machines Man.  Winning lots of writing contests.  And many, many,many more.

19. Who was your class's class clown?
Um....Pete Lamb, I think. 

21. Did you have a job your 8th grade year?
Babysitting kids around my apartment complex.

22. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Outside mainly or just wandered the halls.  I think we also hid out in the Home Ec room, or maybe that was when we were hiding from the vengeful ex best friend.

23. What did you do after graduation?
I don't think we had one...just a stupid dance and an awards ceremony.  I remember my Dad bought me Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation" and the "Edward Scissorhands" soundtrack as a present...it was really sweet.

24. Did you like your eighth grade year?
Yes...it was pretty damn sweet.

Currently listening : Pocket Symphony By Air Release date: 06 March, 2007

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Then suddenly....last summer...
Current mood: hot

My summer spirit continues...yes, I somehow tackled the mighty heatwave.   For those who don't live in Portland, a heatwave lasts a day and a half here and everyone is flipping miserable.  100 degrees isn't my friend.  I feel that it gives me or anyone full reason to bitch and moan and lament about the state of global warming.  We even have "An Incovenient Truth" on DVD, which Andres refused to watch since it would just "add to our current misery."

During that thankfully quick heatwave...I basically flopped on my couch on the hottest day and just felt sorry for myself....sad, but true.  I also felt sorry for my cat, Momma, who couldn't get comfortable no matter what even despite my efforts to put her in the bathroom or kitchen, the coolest parts of the house.  And our high powered fan just scared the crap out of her.  The cat just doesn't trust me.  It doesn't help that earlier in the day, my friend, Robin, tried to bring her weiner dog (sorry, I meant dachshound) inside while helping me unload from our camping trip.  Momma gave Booben, the dog, a mighty bitch slap heard 'round the feline world and that was that.  And yes, I felt sorry for my dear husband, Andres who is outside ALL day long working with ACAP, taking kids all around Portland and suffering in the smoldering heat.

Despite that little whinefest...I'm lovin' summer!  I'm busy, sure, and I'm not my usual self due to "certain things", but I'm feeling pretty happy.  Now, if I could just get over these nasty aversions, I'll be fine.  Note to my friends...keep broccoli and salmon AWAY from me for the time being.  You'll be sorry if you don't.

So, since I have nothing better to do and my brain isn't up to professional bloggedy blog blog speed, I'm just going to list reasons why I love summer so far and why Summer 07 is Fred Meyer's Mi-Ti-Fine by me:

Summer 2007 Rocks because:

I'm pregnant!  If you haven't figured it out by now, hello!!!!  And I apologize to those who didn't know by now...I really wanted to tell some of you face to face, but my strangely busy summer has kept me from seeing lots of my dear friends.  And for those who have known all along, thank you for bearing with my moods, fatigue, and queasiness!  You're all wonderful!

Camping up at Eagle Creek with Julia and Robin...a blissful two days with a couple of my closest friends, hiding out in the woods, jetting to Cascade Locks for an ice cream treat, and playing round after round of UNO!  Pass the Pigs, please!

Speaking of ice cream....really lovin' blackberry shakes!  Can't get enough...I guess the little bambino can't either.

Ratatouille!  A delightful PIXAR gem that touched my heart.  I think it was very original and heartwarming.  I think I could handle it if a talented rodent could cook me a five star dinner!  Oooooh la la! 

Motherless Brooklyn....read this during my serene camping trip while Robin and Julia braved the stiffling heat and hiked 8 plus miles.  (I'm not lazy, I'm pregnant!  Try to have energy when you're growing a baby and it's your first trimester!  Back off!!)  I've read other Jonathan Lethem novels (loved "Fortress of Solitude"...however didn't really like his newest, "You Don't Love Me Yet"), but never got around to reading his late 90's classic.  It was funny and hearfelt and sad.  I also can't wait to devour the last "Harry Potter" and the newest Armistead Maupin...I can't believe he wrote another book in his "Tales of the City" series...the first since the late 80's (or was it early 90's?)  I about shrieked with glee when I read about it in my entertainment bible, "Entertainment Weekly."  But back to "Motherless Brooklyn"...it's amazing...read it!  Do it!

Swimming in a pool, a lake, a creek, the ocean, wherever.  Brings me back to happy childhood memories.  And a great way to escape the heat!

Watermelon....sweet nectar of the Gods.

Bad reality TV....we all know that I don't have cable anymore so I can't catch up on the latest season of "Big Love" or get my daily dose of "The Daily Show" or "Colbert Report", nor can I see my weekly guiltfest of "The Soup."  Sigh.  BUT I've gotten caught up in "Hell's Kitchen" (sorry, there is a cook in my house after all!) and "Last Comic Standing."  But what the hell is with that impersonation show...that freaks me out a little too much.  And when did the Hoff become cool again??? Ok, I know he never went out of style.  But thanks to my trashy TV watching, I'm convinced that gays scare the Hoff to death.  Boo on the Hoff!  I will Hassle you!

Fourth of July....no really...it actually rocked again for me...despite my lack of patriotism.  I've had two good 4th's in a row....bring on the exploding turtles!  I also owe it to our dear friends, Jason Ray, Stacie Ray...the adorable Ray kids (Lucas and Jayna), JR, Kelsey, and Jason Drost.  Sorry, Jason D...that Andres missed the boat and forgot to inform me that our vegetarian friend was coming, too!  Grrr! 

Rock shows....I can't get enough of them.  Highlights so far...Trick Sensei at the NW Music Milennium (which I learned they will close in August...RIP NW 23rd Music Millennium)....and Star's End at Diablos!  And damn, I fell in love with the Mello Outs all over again during their cover of "The Killing Moon" at Berbati's last week.  Way to make the women swoon...and men, too!

BIG bottles of sparkling Pellegrino!  I can't have coffee.  I can't have caffeine of any form.  I can't have any kind of liquor or brew.  What's a Nicole to do??? Sip on glass after tantalizing glass of sparkling mineral water...takes me back to Europe and days in Italy. 

Digging new albums by Air, Amy Winehouse, and Arcade Fire.  Can't wait to get my hands on the newest Interpol, Spoon, and Wilco (well more so for Andres).

Things that Try to Prevent My Summer of 2007 From Rockin':

Bug bites! DUDE! Why must every damn mosquito in the Eagle Creek wilderness come after me?? I have dozens of bites on my shoulders, arms, my finger, and my eyebrow!  Now, tell me, how can you expect to get any bloody nourishment from my damn brow???? Stupid bugs!

Food aversions....'nuff said.  Particularly on a hot day.

Not being able to drink microbrews on these hot days....it's KILLING ME!  I just wanna taste of Lagunitas or Mirror Pond or Dead Guy or something...please!  No really, I'm okay.  It's all worth it, trust me.

Someone's reluctance to buy an air conditioner....who could that be???

INSANELY high concert prices!!! We wanna go to Flaming Lips at the Roseland...but for $46 bucks?? A piece???? What the hell?  I just forked over nearly a hundred for The Shins!!!  Wincing the night away indeed! All our faves like Modest Mouse and Wilco are approaching the $50 mark...I don't want to sound like a total old timer...but here it goes..."I remember when gas was 99 cents a gallon and you could see Beck or Radiohead at La Luna for five dollars!  FIVE whole dollars!  I could travel the country on a couple hundred dollars and live off a chicken for a week!  Plus, I didn't have no stinking AC and we LOVED it!"  Ok, gotta lay off the Dana Carvey....  At least, Built to Spill is still super cheap.

Being behind on the summer blockbusters...but then again, I've just been busy with other things.  Traveling, the outdoors, family, and friends are VERY important!

Not seeing friends and missing them....yes, Megan, I mean you! 

And with that...since I don't like to focus on negativity so much....I hope you're all enjoying summer so far.....it ain't over yet, baby!

Currently listening : Neon Bible By Arcade Fire Release date: 06 March, 2007

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