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Notes from the 2000 Election
From: amy cavender
Date: Tue Nov 7, 2000 4:47 pm
Subject: the free world is a fucked duck, z.
I was driving home from work, after a full day of teaching texas' youth about s-e-x, and I was possessed by a perverse, quasi-masochistic urge to drive through downtown austin to see what is going on around the governor's mansion and capitol. it's a cold, rainy, shitty day, but I wanted to see for myself what all the fuss was/is about.
so, I parked my car on a side street and went for a little walk.
they're preparing a big old victory party. streets are blocked off for two blocks in every direction around the capitol, there are grandstands set up, and there are vendors selling "victory celebration 2000" t-shirts all up-and-down congress avenue. men in suits with over-scrubbed faces are looking smug, and there are a lot of women who I can only assume are celebratory hookers draped on many of said suited-and-scrubbed individuals' arms. tons of police officers, state troopers, and men in suits with bulges under their arms and headsets. a few bedraggled protesters are standing around with signs that say "vote light rail" (a democrat/green issue in the local election), but they don't look nearly as glad to be there as the other people (who I am assuming are republicans, or have sympathies that lay primarily with the republican party).
I wish I surprised to notice, as I was driving home after surveying the scene, that I'm feeling a little nauseated. but I'm not surprised at all. this makes me ill, and even though I've been steeling myself against this for several months now, the impending reality of it makes me... sick. sick in my heart.
this isn't the country that I was taught to expect. and it won't be for generations, if ever, if things go as I fear they will tonight.
I'll be down there tonight, watching and waiting, but I do it more out of a desire to see for myself the faces of the individual walking-and-talking reasons why I hate what this country has become and will become in the future, than out of an expectation of getting to gloat.
from here, right now, it looks like we are well and truly fucked.
and when I say that, I mean that it looks like we all are.
I hope I am wrong.
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Tue Nov 7, 2000 4:53 pm
Subject: Re: [exquisite_corpse] the free world is a fucked duck, z.
ps-- on the bright side, apparently my spell-checker recognizes the word
"fuck" and its conjugants! :)
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Tue Nov 7, 2000 7:10 pm
Subject: Re: [exquisite_corpse] the free world is a fucked duck, z.
going down to the belly of the beast in a few minutes. first
republican-looking jack-ass who asks me "how much... ?" or touches me in any
way other than an accidental shoulder-brushing gets his hand broken.
amy
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Tue Nov 7, 2000 10:28 pm
Subject: Re: [exquisite_corpse] It wasn't my fault!
texas was a foregone conclusion, and I knew that... but, still...
fucking hell, I just spent the last few hours walking around in the freezing
drizzle, watching the convocation of evil that is the bush victory rally. I
even had one of my patented "amy cavender moments", which I will now relate
to you:
I have always had an... I-don't-know-what... a weird way of being the person
confused people ask for information to clear stuff up. tonight, as I was
prowling congress avenue, I saw a group of green party protesters, chanting
"governor death, you can't hide/ you know the truth is on our side"--
something like that, anyway... I followed them at a distance, because they
were heading towards the security gate for the republican vip tent, and I
thought that would be interesting.
well, they were either too smart or too chicken (probably too smart, I think
we all remember the battles in seattle, la, and et cetera) to go
head-to-head with the texas state troopers working security at the gate, so
they went up a side street and posed for pictures-- then went back the way
they came. I was hanging back and watching, and while I was standing there,
a little boy, probably about 12 at the oldest, came up to me and asked what
they were protesting about.
I explained that they were supporters of the green party, and they wanted
another candidate besides gore or bush in the white house. one of the
reasons that they want another candidate is because they think the death
penalty is unfair, especially as applied in the state of texas. I then told
him that there had been a lot of people executed across the country that
were later found to be innocent, and that there had also been people not too
much older than him put to death, and that it wasn't done as often to white
people as it was done to people of different races. so, they had a lot of
concerns about that, and thought that bush was bad candidate for president
because of that issue and other ones as well.
I went on to say that their opinions differ from my own, in that I can't
claim to be completely against the death penalty, because of personal
experience with friends being murdered. but my desire for vengeance doesn't
necessarily make that the appropriate course of action, and when the state
acts in our name in executing any person (innocent or guilty), then we are
culpable in a small but significant way for the spilling of their blood.
I finished up by saying that this is one of the many things that people of
good conscience can disagree upon, and this debate and other issues like it
are part of what living in a republic is all about. there are going to be
some people who don't even think about it, and then there are going to be
people ("like you", I twinkled at him) that are going to ask questions, and
think about what they believe, and why they believe it, and make decisions
according to the conclusions that they come to after thinking about
different sides of the issue.
"oh... well, that's a pretty good reason for them to be here, then. thanks!"
and that was that.
three low points of my walk:
1. seeing one of my good friends and his mom (who I am also very fond of) in
the VIP tent (in a pan shot on the news). a lot of my people (family friends
and actual-factual family) are hard-core republicans, and this didn't
surprise me, but it just... makes me sad. my favorite, favorite
almost-relatives are campaign workers for bush, and they raised several
million for him in houston. I haven't seen shots of them tonight, but I
wouldn't be surprised if I did before the day is done.
buh.
2. seeing florida yanked from gore's projections. I knew something had gone
terribly wrong when a big, huge roar went up from the grandstands... it was
feral and... I just knew it wasn't going to be good. and it wasn't. it
remains to be seen what will happen, but it must have been demoralizing for
gore (and, as I well know, for gore supporters). and tennessee, too-- god,
what a mess.
3. seeing a lot of women my age working for the bush campaign. I suspect
that they are of the same kind that "can't stand those feminazis" but are
totally ok with wearing miniskirts, taking the pill, having credit cards in
their own name (even after they marry, which is a privilege sarah "roe v.
wade" weddington won for us all, if memory serves), and being able to vote
in the first damn place. ingrates. we'll see how it goes when one of their
friends bleeds to death from a botched abortion.
bitter, bitter.
chatted with a homeless guy, while I was down there... he's a gore
supporter, but thinks bush will win. we also talked a little bit about the
prison industry in texas. he's about to go to trial for possession of two
rocks of crack, which has a different (and more strict) sentencing schedule
than powder. he'll probably get about five years, minimum, for getting
caught with a substance awfully similar to a substance both the governor and
I have ingested.
it's saddening, to see all of this.
got accosted by a scary-ass old man wearing a VIP pass who wanted to buy me
a drink and "talk". he didn't touch me, just sort of got in my space a bit,
so I didn't break his hand. but I wanted to.
grr!
that's about that. I have some more, but I'm tired, and I have to be in san
marcos tomorrow at 8a, so I'm going to retire for the night.
amy
***
rom: amy cavender
Date: Wed Nov 8, 2000 6:42 am
Subject: 6:30a
I didn't stay up, because I have classes to teach today, and I want to
be able to do my students the courtesy of being cogent while spending
time with them. I am very interested in what the recount turns up, but
it's in a republican-governed state, overseen by a republican federal
official, so I don't have a lot of "good feeling" about it.
we shall see what we shall see.
god, I wish nader had chosen to enter the race in 2004, after we had the
supreme court appointments.
amy
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Wed Nov 8, 2000 4:48 pm
Subject: Re: [exquisite_corpse] 6:30a
deadfong wrote:
> On Wed, 8 Nov 2000, amy cavender wrote:
>
> > god, I wish nader had chosen to enter the race in 2004, after we had the
> > supreme court appointments.
> >
> > amy
>
> i don't know about that.
no one can know about it, it would just have made me easier in my mind about
this whole florida thing... analysts say that a couple of states had a bit of
the popular vote siphoned from gore to nader.
nader's not my friend all that much, anyway... love the environment stuff,
love the anti-corporate stand, but he's not much on women's health or kids'
health or health in general (except the obvious trickle-downs that would come
from clean air and good commerce legislation-- I'm cognizant of that)-- and
that's my big area of interest. if you have your health, all other things
flow.
the s.c. appointments are of grave concern to me, and I'd rest a lot easier
knowing that it was going to be a pro-choice democratic president (who has
shown leanings towards activist-judges) doing them. several of the oldsters
that are aging are our good friends. and, besides that, two years of a
republican-controlled congress *and* white house are truly fearsome for me,
from a legislative point-of-view... I don't give a fuck about 2002-- a lot of
bad stuff can be done in two years. the complete dismantling of the ryan white
act and titles X and XX (stuff having to do with family planning, hiv/aids
funding, std testing and treatment), devolvement of all abortion regulation to
states, and so on... big fear. big fucking fear. maybe it scares me more
because I'm female, I don't know...
> bush can't appoint anyone until someone dies or
> retires, right?
yep.
> and there's another senate race in 2002, in which many
> more republicans will be up than democrats.
with the incumbent advantage, though. it's not usually likely for incumbents
to lose.
> *if* the current court holds
> out another two years, there's a chance the senate will go dem.
that's a pretty big "if"-- a lot of people were saying that it was going to go
dem this year, and it didn't. it's closer than it's been in a while, but it's
not even a split... still republican-controlled.
> even if
> it doesn't, the margin's close enough that bush will have trouble getting
> ultraconservative judges appointed.
>
how conservative is ultraconservative? the middle has moved to the right in
the past few years...
> and, dammit, it's an assumption without any proof that nader stole votes
> from gore.
at this point, as far as the popular vote goes, gore did fine-- it's florida
that's the area of concern, now. I've been at work all day, so I don't know
what the current spread in there is right now... but, if it comes down to a
few thousand difference, and nader pulled 95k there, then I'm going to be
mightily pissed. not all nader voters would have otherwise voted gore, but
some would have. my general feeling from conversation with people (mostly in
texas, so take it with a grain of salt) is that he was a spoiler that pulled
people from the democrats. it remains to be seen if later analysis will bear
that out nation-wide. but that's the impression that I have gotten from
conversation.
> it's possible that many who voted for nader wouldn't have
> voted at all if he hadn't been in the race. plus, if we *ever* want a
> viable, truly multiparty system in the USA, it's going to take campaigns
> like this.
true about that last bit, but even if only 1 out of 20 would have voted for
gore otherwise, and it comes down to a few k in florida... buh... the bitter
twist of it is that I could have accepted the nader factor more graciously if
it had ended up doing any good... if he got his 5%, and could enter his party
into the race in 2004 with matching funds and debate slots. but the last
numbers I saw (and I could be wrong, or behind the game) indicate that that
didn't happen. so, not only do we not have the chance of a "real" third choice
next time around, we also don't have a moderate democrat president-elect.
and I've already heard nader's little spiel about how maybe it needs to get
really bad before it can get better... fuck that! to my admittedly-biased
ears, that's spoken like a rich white guy who doesn't have to worry about
getting knocked up or figuring out how to pay for his sustiva (anti-hiv drug)
anytime in the next four-to-eight years. his general national mood is made up
of a lot of people's individual lives.
but, it hardly matters at this point, anyway... it's just a matter of time. we
shall see what we shall see.
amy
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Sun Nov 12, 2000 5:54 pm
Subject: Re: [exquisite_corpse] This is completely bloody silly.
Zero Piraeus wrote:
> Hey:
>
> I thought, as I went to bed this morning, that although I was miserable
> I was at least correctly miserable. Now I have to wait 'til Thursday?
> F'fuxake!
>
> And this sodding headache wouldn't have been nearly so bad without all
> the Metaxa that Florida made me drink.
well, it's still not sorted out. and it may not be for months. but the roar
of that crowd when the news about florida getting yanked from gore... brr...
I'm always going to remember that.
jinkies!
upside/evil-laugh factor-- bush couldn't have his victory party this week,
so they dismantled the grandstands! hee-hee! it pleases me to think that
they wasted a lot of money without getting to do "the money shot"-- no
ejaculations of red, white, and blue balloons, tee-hee! no orgiastic
roman-stylee aristocrats watching lions and scions "eat the poor" celebration
in the streets of austin's only liberal oasis, which would've have been a
bitter sight for many of us, indeed... it may only be delayed, but anything
that irritates those with an inflated sense of entitlement wounds them far
more than is proportionate to the event itself.
and that's good enough for me, at the moment.
amy "I takes me jollies as I finds 'em" cavender
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Sun Nov 12, 2000 6:16 pm
Subject: heh!
so, the republicans are filing a suit to stop the hand recount because
it's "too subjective"!
:)
wonder why they are so opposed to it?
amy
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Sun Nov 12, 2000 6:32 pm
Subject: what do you kids think?
most of you may reemmber that a friend of mine was killed by a police
officer a few months ago, with a certain amount of furor attached to the
story at the time. time has passed, and the interests of the nation have
moved on a bit, but I"m still a little agitated about it.
the other day, I recieved this message from one of my classmates:
*****
>Subject: Re: Vigil for Prince--PLEASE FWD to TAMSters ASAP
>Date: Mon, 16 Oct 2000 09:48:41 -0500
>
>has anyone heard anything about this case recently?
>
>amy cavender
No, but I haven't really looked either. I'm only mildly curious. At
first I
wanted all kinds of vile things to happen to 'Officer Jones', most of
them
not applicible in a legal enviornment. As time has passed and I've
cooled
down, I've come to realize that none of those things will bring Prince
back
and would only perpetuate a cycle of badness, including the destruction
of
my own peace. Frag! I hate it when reason leads me down the same path as
most religions. The irony in light of Prince's religious convictions is a
warm thought/feeling. If there is a Heaven, he's there, and I can
imagining
him smiling 'his' smile with regards to the path of logic of the
doubter. I
do want to know about the case though. I'll give a look and see what I
come
up with. If you find anything please let me know as well.
*****
here's my reply:
*****
see, I see it a little differently. if people had raised a big stink
when the
first guy in that area was shot for less-than-reasonable reasons, then
the
second, third, fourth, and so on all the way up to our man prince might
not
have been killed in this way.
as far as officer jones, cutting off his fingers and feeding them to
him-- that
would be bad. a vigilante mob executing him by whacking him with
nail-studded sticks would be also be bad. but a trial, and maybe some
jail time if a jury decided that his actions were outside the realm of
acceptable behavior-- that would be fine. but it's not going to happen,
in part because our friend's life didn't carry enough value in the eyes
of the law in that state.
making a fuss won't bring him back, true-- but it may prevent others
from following
him in an untimely fashion.
this peaceful resignation that you have experienced hasn't touched me
yet. this
was wrong, and letting it drop is wrong, too, in my worldview. I
realize,
though, that different people have different temperaments. I can't fault
you
for how you feel. I just don't share it.
there is going to be a story about prince in an upcoming issue of (of
all
things!) _people_ magazine. I'm not sure about the release date, but I
assume
it'll be a few weeks from now. watch the newsstands.
I hope this finds you well. sorry about the lag time between this
letter, and
your initial message. stay warm.
amy
*****
how does that look to people outside of the situation? I'm curious.
I try to keep things fairly fluffy here, most of the time, because I
deal with sooooooo much unpleasant shit in my career and political and
personal face-to-face life I want a nice place to spend some mental
time. and, of course,you kids have come through in spades, with wee
little bits of fluff, twists of story, and only the rare bit of rancor
every now and again.
I'm often the most unpleasant one around, as far as sheer subject
matter. but I often feel like I'm going to pop unless I tell people
about somethings that I see that need to be known about-- from
scarygerms to evil in the hearts of those who claim to protect us. I'd
appreciate feedback on this little exchange between me and my classmate,
or, failing that, one of you needs to entertain me with something very
fluffy, posthaste!
either way, look forward to hearing from you kids soonlike.
amy
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Sun Nov 12, 2000 9:08 pm
Subject: Re: [exquisite_corpse] URGENT: New Dubya Scandal
Zero Piraeus wrote:
Hey:
It's not over yet. If there's a revote, this can swing it. If Bush wins,
this can leave him floating like a turd in the water for the next four
years. If Gore wins, well, hell, it'd be fun to see the Shrub's
credibility utterly destroyed anyway.
Read these:
http://www.kgoam810.com/viewentry.asp?ID=73474&PT=programsummaries
http://www.examiner.com/001030/1030sorensen.html
http://www.bushwatch.com/flynt.htm
Tell everyone. Lobby your local and national media to run the story.
Let's get this thing out there!
-[z]. Although It Would Have Been Nice To See It A Few Days Ago.
see, I don't even know if this would make a difference...
here's my theory...
the republicans, had two things going on when they were hammering clinton into the ground about the whole dick-sucking/human humidor imbroglio...
one, they wanted to get clinton impeached, and removed from office
two, they wanted to get people so burnt-out on scandal that their chosen 2000 candidate for the presidency could have a fighting chance against an experienced almost-incumbent in a time of prosperity, even though he's a hard-core conservative fundie with a verrrrrrrrrrrrry checkered (and therefore somewhat hypocritical) past.
two birds, one stone.
and yes, smarty-pantseses, I *did* just get done watching the x-files!
amy
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Sat Nov 25, 2000 8:16 pm
Subject: Re: [exquisite_corpse] Heh
Matt Pickens wrote:
> Jessica forwarded:
>
> > >Network television is developing a "Texas Version"of "Survivor", the
> > popular
> > >TV show:
> > >
> > >Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas,
> Houston,
> > >San Antonio, and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and Lubbock driving
> > a
> > >Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads:
> > >
> > >"I'm for Gore, I'm Gay, and I'm Here to Take Your Guns!"
> > >
> > >The first to complete the round trip is the winner!
>
> Heh! That is very funny, yeah. I've seen it already a couple of times this
> season.
>
> The thing is, I'm almost certain I'd seen it with different specifics, but
> still in Texas and with a similar bumper-sticker slogan, before the
> Gore-Bush campaign. Probably in a Molly Ivins collection, I'm thinking.
> Does anyone (Amy?) have any knowledge of its previous incarnations?
I don't have any concrete knowledge of previous incarnations, but I do know that
the first person who sent this to me (about three months ago) was a lesbian
photographer who heads up an underground needle exchange here in austin.
of all people, she'd know how much of a joke this isn't! :>
I think the version she sent me didn't have anything about "the first one" to
complete the trip being the winner-- in her's it's just "the one", which is a
little spookier if you think about it.
anyway...
amy "my good looks and charm have kept me from getting lynched... so far"
cavender
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Sat Nov 25, 2000 8:20 pm
Subject: Re: [exquisite_corpse] Re: Pithy quote?
John Galt wrote:
> --- In exquisite_corpse@egroups.com, "Jessica Glodo"
> wrote:
> > Got this from a NYTimes.com article about www.TubeHell.com, a web
> site where
> > disgruntled London commuters bitch about the tube:
> >
> > "In light of your failure to elect a president of the U.S.A. and
> thus to
> > govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> > independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen
> Elizabeth II will
> > resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other
> > territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy."
> >
> > God bless the Brits and their sense of humor...
>
> There's actually a much longer "proclamation" from the Queen
> (containing the above quote) that was floating around on the web last
> week...I got a copy in some email from a student at Sewanee. I'll see
> if I can dig it up for everyone.
>
I got a copy of a long version from a friend of mine who works for sony
playstation-europe. it had sumpthin in it about having to learn "god save
the queen", so I jotted down a few lyrics from the sex pistols version of
it, and asked if that was what he meant.
he hasn't answered me back, yet.
amy "cleaning out the inbox" cavender
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Sun Nov 26, 2000 6:37 pm
Subject: it's over
florida just certified its votes... bush won.
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Fri Dec 8, 2000 5:10 pm
Subject: an unfamiliar emotion
what is that odd, light sensation in my chest... in that place where a
big chunk of political bile usually nestles?
is that... hope?
it might just be...
gore's getting a recount of the undervoted ballots... holy god!
I felt compelled to do the "happy-happy butt-dance" upon hearing this.
end transmission.
amy
***
From: amy cavender
Date: Sun Jan 21, 2001 9:16 pm
Subject: senescent ramblings
so.
I turned 27 this friday.
I saw george bush get sworn in as president saturday morning.
I read an article in texas monthly where frank kozik talked about "the
parasite people" (of which he counted himself as one) who lived in
austin enjoying the "student" lifestyle, even when they aren't students
anymore. he then went on to say he had to move to grow up.
turn the lock this way, that way, and back again... click, click,
click-- and then the vault opens, and you see what's inside.
it's becoming more and more necessary for me to consider what to do to
fully convince myself of my adulthood. moving might be just the thing.
moving to austin was the destined thing for me to do from a fairly young
age. in texas, there are/were three types of kids: kids who are going to
always stay in their hometowns; kids who are going to go to a&m (or
another conservative school, like tech); and kids who are going to go to
ut (or another freakshow school, like unt or rice). I was, of course,
ut-bound from about 14 or so. my actual coming here was marred and
flavored by my stint at the academy (which wrapped me in an odd shell of
academic experience and social weirdness), the death of my father about
7 weeks before coming to school (which drove me out of my mind with
grief), and the rape-murder of a friend of mine a few days before coming
(which, in a convoluted way, made me hate my former best friend). I
wasn't in the best mental condition, and I was far away from most of the
people I could count on for succour and support (most of my friends had
remained at unt after graduating from the academy), but my mother made
me come anyway.
but, all things considered, it was a good place to be. I got here in
'92, a few years after slacker came out, and a few years before the tech
boom. rent was cheap, coffee was free ('cause I'm cute, dammit!), raves
were big and fabulous, and stocked with couches and candy and drugs that
made people friendly (as opposed to the tunnelvision-inducing stimulants
that people seem so fond of now), and there was an amazing glut of
gorgeous people who had no idea of how beautiful that they were -- one's
heart swelled with crush-love at least ten times a day.
I've stayed so long because I associate all these things with this city,
but it's just not like that anymore, and the "giant sucking sound" keeps
on getting louder and louder. it's time to go.
the tone of this probably sounds melancholy, and it is to an extent, but
it's also a happy realization-- I'm not sure where I'll be in the next
year, but it's looking more and more like it's not going to be in
austin... and for a while, I was terribly sad about that. this is where
my people are, and "my" bars, and "my" restaurants, and we've got such
great libraries, and this is where so many of my memories are at.
nine years is a long time. it's a third of my life, and all of my adult
life, really.and there are other factors, too.
my mother is somewhat leery of my moving out of the country. I talked
with her about it last weekend, and she said she wanted me to wait until
my grandmother dies. which is why she said she didn't want me to go to
wellesley. which is why she didn't want me to move to new york with my
at-the-time fiance. which is why she didn't want me to move to japan
with one of my friends who was in the air force a few years ago. so,
I've always stayed here in texas, in an effort to be dutiful.
I think that rationale is becoming somewhat threadbare.
ah, well. the future is uncertain, as always, as it is for everyone. but
it will be a little easier to face now that I won't be so aggrieved by
leaving. solemn joys from relief and anticipation.
on a lighter note, I got some cool stuff for my bday, and I got to run
around with some people I haven't seen for a while, which is always
cool. la duda got me (this is so terrible/great!) a gun-shaped (ahem!)
"personal massager" (winky-wink). david got me a pope-shaped incense
burner (reason number 85 I will never get laid again-- who can do that
with the pope staring at you? ah, well... ), my friend jenn got me this
great cologne that smells like angel food cake (from the same company
that makes dirt-, tomato-, and gin and tonic-scented colognes), and I
got an "expanded" version of _life's little instruction book_ from my
friend robert (who, in the past, gave me an "annotated version" of
_children's letters to god_, an incredibly popular piece of reading
material in my home). some other friends came through with various odds
and ends, including chocolate covered strawberries, dinners, and so on.
went out for dinner and cocktails friday, and then had a few people over
for drinks and then out-and-about on saturday, with an after-party at a
cute little house in a neighborhood even more cutesy-ghetto
(yet-soon-to-be-gentrified) than mine.
it's been a good weekend. slept all bloody day, but now I'm feeling
sufficiently feted and loved, and that's always a good way to face the
week. the year. whichever.
amy
***
3:06 PM
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