a true Subgenious after BOBs own heart

Rat CHicken .1

Rat Chicken .2

Rat Chicken .3

a true way to loose hours at work.

2:12 AM - 89 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

ok how much Slack can you take?

6:49 PM - 89 Comments - 11 Kudos - Add Comment

A talk with a Pink..

From: Pink
Date: Jan 28, 2004 09:12 AM
I was wondering how long it would be till I saw this pop up in my life again!!! Had my first encounter with you guys about 6 years ago in Washington state....

interesting stuff....

From: Church of the Subgenius
Date: Jan 28, 2004 10:23 AM
and will you let "BOB" slip through your fingers again?

From: Pink
Date: Jan 28, 2004 10:26 AM
just out of curiosity...what do you people think about jesus?

From: Church of the Subgenius
Date: Jan 28, 2004 10:53 AM
We tend to think for ourselves.. But in my personal opinion jesus (pronounced- hesoos) was indeed a master of slack. What did he do but wander around fucking with the status quo. The only people he ever really assosiated with were the outcasts of an overly pink society. To top it off, he bleed booze how can you get more party than that?

From: Pink
Date: Jan 28, 2004 11:19 AM
I see that your assumptions about the person of Jesus are mostly gathered from the general knowledge that society has about what the bible has to say about him. Have you actually ever read the bible?

From: Church of the Subgenius
Date: Jan 28, 2004 11:34 AM
Sorry but i dont feel i need to get into a conversation about jesus.
He is after all one of the biggest false prophets. He had slack and like so many more he squanderd it. And in the end he died out of pitty for the masses.. What a sad sad thing to do. just look at all the pinks he tried to save.

From:Pink
Date: Jan 28, 2004 11:38 AM
how do you explain the fact that he fulfilled over 400 of the old testament prophjecies about messiah in his 33 years of life on this earth?..Iwould hardly call that false.

From: Church of the Subgenius
Date: Jan 28, 2004 12:04 PM
And just who set the standards for those prophecies? Everyone knows it was a set up. And anyone that knows prophets knows that J.R BOB DOBBS is the only true prophet. Now please leave me alone and keep your shallow pink babble to your self i dont want it and the subgenius are above it.
Good buy Pink remember you are still only $30 away from redemption...


From: Pink
Date: Jan 28, 2004 12:11 PM
thats what Joseph smith told the mormons and the jehovas witnesses believed too...too bad....its amazing how the delusion of ignorancewill cause some people to think that they know more than they actually do...if you think it was a set up I would like to open the door of opportunity to prove it to me, because I hae a hard time believing that 66 books written over a period of 4000 years by 40 different authors can all be colluded and connived to be so specific about one person out of the billions that have existed on the face of the earth in its entire history of humanity....

have a nice day...I will be praying for you

From: Church of the Subgenius
Date: Jan 28, 2004 12:16 PM
The star wars books are leigon and they took even less time to write.. They follow a story line too.. How hard is it to tell a story.
We on the other hand have only two in circulation, and they tell all you need to know. You cant beat that with a stick.

From: Pink
Date: Jan 28, 2004 12:22 PM
i dont wanna compete with you ti for tat...Im just trying to fill you in on some things you might not already know and hope that maybee one day youll actually dig into it for yourself instead of believing all the misgiuided secondhand information thats out there...you dont seem that unwilling to read so Im assuming that you would actually try it sometime...however should I be wrong, I hope that you find whatever it is that you are looking for...

btw...ever study hebew or greek?? thats the only way to look into it if you ever choose to do so...

dont want you to think that Im preaching to you just wanted to know what your take on the subject was...God knows theres been enough holy wars in the history of man...most with un due cause but for some reason those were all talked about years before they happened too in the bible...hmmmm

From: Church of the Subgenius
Date: Jan 28, 2004 12:24 PM
And our holly crusade will be the last. Its so sneeky they didnt write about it in any but our book. Pinks say bye bye..

1:25 PM - 89 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

Do you know "BOB?

While yet the least approachable or scrutable of the vast SubGenius membership, he is the preeminent and most frequently invoked of the god-zillionPersonal Saviors of the SubGenius. While he remains an anonymous executive shunning publicity or recognition at a faceless multinational corporation, he is nevertheless The Most Ascended Master, the original Retriever of Jehovah's Message on Earth and basic model of the Archetype SubGenius. He set the "anti-pattern" of random conduct among all those who are now practicing SubGeniuses. His are the defects and peccadillos that we 'analize,' his the Slongs and Jests which we devotedly twist and distort for future generations according to our unexplored whims. - And yet the only photos of him that exist are grainy frame blow-ups from Grade Z movie thrillers in which he played bit parts!
Dobbs is, of course, the ultimate symbol of SubGeniusness, but despite/because of his infrahuman mediumship he possesses one single failing above and beyond all other shortcomings: his omninclusive FOLLIES. Yet where they would be crippling stubbing-blocks for another person, in Dobbs they loom stranger-than-life. His ten billion all-too-human quasimodalities embody, in some cheaply symbolic way, all the Foibles of the Primate Race. Dobbs is a miacrocosm encapsulating the imperfektions of the so-called 'human condition;' his Blunders and Idiocies, errors and inadvertencies are perhaps more sacrosanct, more deserving of analitization than even his hallowed salesmanship. None of "Bob's" words or deeds are particularly spectacular: their holiness lies in their nondescript but inviolable triviality. As Dobbs once 'spouted,' "The stupider it looks, the more important it probably is."

Since his Emaculation, Dobbs has been divinely shoved down the behavio-electric Path of Least Resistance to become the living incarnation of Slack on Earth. As mysteriously and profitably as he doles out his prophecies and cassette messages, he unfailingly (yet, perhaps, accidentally) enrichens himself with material things using only the exagerated human nature he was born with. Just as the Nazarene was a carpenter, so is "Bob" a salesman - the High Sales Man of the SubGenius - and whereas his stature as hero and holyman of the SubGenius flock is still obscure to the Mediocretins who make up 80flo of the Overpop, among fellow salesmen he is internationally known as "The Man Who Can Sell Anything."
"Bob's" surreavolutionary doctrine of PATRIO-PSYCHOTIC ANARCHO-MATERIALISM has found ever-larger numbers of zealous adherents despite relentless persecution by the FBI and other robot engines of the Conspiracy. Furthermore, Dobbs is the only Adept to pass the scrutiny of The Illuminati Corporation's rigorous scientific tests for ectosplasmodic manifestations.

1:27 AM - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

TEACHINGS and PHONE NUMBERS... REVELATION X..pg.75

We are liable to forget that our innermost natures actually do not cry out for WORK, FAST CARS, or even TV. Most of the time they cry out for only three things: sleep, food and sex. the first two are usually available. Thanks to our rival religions, however, sex (REAL SEX, MESSY SEX) is much harder to come by.

The urge toward overwhelming, wallowing pig-lust SexHurt is the main, motivating factor for us meat by-products of the DNA code (which wouldn't get very far without rewarding us somehow for spreading it around.) The meaning of life lies not in happiness, or money, or knowledge, or in writing great religious texts, or even reproduction (although that is the purpose of the code). The meaning of life is found in the OoZquirt. It IS that simple. Not the baby-making, not the love, just the immediate selfish gratification. Not the eating, so to speak, but the tasting.

So BOB gives you this section to post your phone number, and expect a phone call demanding phone sex, or even a meeting...

7:09 PM - 89 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Its Hard To Know Who To Trust...

THE PINK: hopes for a miracle after everything else failed.
THE SUBGENIUS: demands a miracle before anything else is tried.
THE PINK: respects those who are "superior" to him.
THE SUBGENIUS: resents those who are "superior" to him, and tries to teach them a thing or two.
THE PINK: paces herself.
THE SUBGENIUS: has only two speeds: hysterical and lethargic.
THE PINK: feels he is building up credit for the future.
THE SUBGENIUS: feels cheated if he gives one iota more than he gets.
THE PINK: tries to assume more authority than her character can handle.
THE SUBGENIUS: recognizes that the only authority is "BOB's" authority.
THE PINK: may not want to hurt people intentionally, but does so constantly, without even knowing it.
THE SUBGENIUS: hurts people only to serve a higher purpose.
THE PINK: thinks there are rules for winning and losing.
THE SUBGENIUS: knows that every rule in the book WILL be broken, except this one.

can you be trusted?

6:41 PM - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment