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Bereaved Parent’s Wishlist
Current mood:  indescribable
Category: Life
I just saw this on my friend's site and felt the need to share it. It's been just 12 months since my son left me for the Great Beyond---but there isn't a minute of any day that I do not think of him and feel overwhelmed with a variety of emotions. I may fight it.....and I may seem like I am ok....The truth is that I am struggling to resist the urge to cry, scream.....or talk about him to anyone who will listen. I know that many other Angel Mommies feel this very same way. Hug an Angel Mommy.....we'll appreciate it always. ===========================================
1. I wish my child hadn't died! I wish I had him back! 2. I wish you wouldn't be affraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you as well. 3. If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you knew it wasn't because you hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child, and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both. 4. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you more than ever! 5. I need diverson so I do want to hear about you; but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day. 6. I wish you would not expect my grief to be over in six months. These first years are tramatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die. 7. I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child and wish that he was not gone. 8. I wish you would not expect me to "not to think about it" or to "be happy". Neither will happen for a long time so do not frustrate yourself. 9. I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you. 10. When I say "I am doing okay," I wish you could understand that I do not feel okay and I struggle daily. 11. I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I am having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I am quite and withdrawn or irritable and cranky. 12. Your advise to "take one day at a time" is excellent. I wish you could understand that I am doing good to handle life an hour at a time. 13. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my child died, and I will never be that person again. 14. I wish very much that you could understand - understand my loss and my grief, my silence and my tears, my void and my pain. But I pray daily that you will never understand.
7:26 AM
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