RANCID!!!
Current mood: excited
Category: Music

I so fucking cannot wait for Rancid on Saturday.  A little perspective for you; Rancid is in the very small list of bands that I have always wanted to see (and not at a fucking festival) and never thought I would.  Stoked.

Currently listening : Hernando By North Mississippi Allstars Release date: 2008-01-22

3:17 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I Wrote a Poem
Current mood: giggly
Category: Writing and Poetry

One of my favorite poems is Angels of the Love Affair by Anne Sexton and I got it in my head that I needed to respond.  So I did, I call it Writing Back.

Angel of bad decisions, how do you always find me?

My beacon of moral light shines taunting and tempting you.

In my weakest moments, at my most vulnerable times,

You are there to guide me into deceptive fun.

Angel, do you know the shoulder on which you belong or have you lost your way?

You sit there cocky and impertinent,

Laughing and coaxing me into this awful place.

Angel of fire and brimstone, where is your guiding hand,

The one that shuts me down when I am at my worst?

Where is your loving reprimand,

Your soft and feathery embrace?

The angel of bad decisions has plucked you down and is holding you at bay.

8:03 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Hurt
Current mood: anxious
Category: Romance and Relationships

A lot of my friends know that I have been dating a really wonderful man for the past few months; he’s charming, caring, and kind.  The only problem (and for me, this is a big one) is that he’s not my best friend.

It’s a rare thing for two people to have a connection that transcends everything else; have you ever had the kind of relationship where you can talk for hours about everything and nothing?  The kind where you don’t have to say or hear, "I love you" because the question was never there?  The kind where you consider that person to be a part of yourself, your soul?  I have, I do, just not with him.

My closest friends (and by no means is this meant to imply that the others aren’t every bit as important to me, I just may not see them enough) are April, Denise, and Aron.  I have many other close friendships, I’m a lucky girl, but these three and I have a supernatural connection.  I was telling April at Thanksgiving that I didn’t intend to get seriously involved with anyone unless I had the kind of connection with them that I do with her but I broke my own rule (I do that a lot) and now I’m afraid, I have to hurt someone.

As wonderful as he is, I don’t have a best friendship with him and it would prolong the inevitable to stay with him any longer.  I know I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him but look at the list of his character traits in paragraph one, who could resist?  I really don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to lose his friendship but the time has come where I realize what I can and cannot accept and I cannot accept a relationship without a friendship.

12:27 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Pondering the Puzzle
Current mood: content
Category: Friends

I was asked the other day what I'm looking for as in am I looking for a relationship right now?  It didn't take long to answer; I'm not "looking" for anything or anyone.  My response was actually:

I think of my life as a puzzle and all of the people and things in it are the pieces and right now those pieces make up a beautiful, content picture.  There's always room for more pieces but I'm not going to shove a random piece in just to have more bits or a bigger picture.  If something or someone fits and improves the view, then so be it.

I don't want to change and I won't compromise in a way that makes my life any less rich than what it is at this moment.  That's not to be interpreted in a way that makes you think that I don't work on my relationships or invest everything I can in them.  It's just that I don't have a void or a hole that needs to be filled; I have never looked at life in that way and I won't start now.  You have to be happy with what you have to be happy with what you get.  Danita talks about the law of attraction; think positively and positive things will happen.  Let's take that one step further; live positively and life will be positive.  It sounds like some new age bullshit but it's real.

I try to improve the lives of the people that I meet and I only allow people that improve my life into it.  I don't want to sit back at 80 and think, "Wow, I should have given that person a chance to be in my life," and I won't sit back and think, "I wish I hadn't allowed that person into my heart."

I also think that once a person is in there, they always will be.  Your relationship may change, but it doesn't have to disappear.

Currently listening : I Like to Score By Moby Release date: 21 October, 1997

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So Excited
Current mood: excited
Category: Travel and Places

I cannot wait to go home on Wednesday and see everyone.  My family will all be there which in and of itself will be awesome but I will also get to see Jason, Lauri, Lindsey, Caroline, and the rest of my peeps.

The most exciting part, though, is APRIL!  Since she lives in Ireland, we always plan our trips back in Richmond so that they coincide.  I absolutely love her more than anything else in the world, when we are together; it's like an amusement park with ice cream and beer where the fun never stops.

I have been blessed with brilliant friends all over the place and I am lucky to have maintained and strengthened those friendships over time and distance.  I think to myself every day about how lucky I am and how I wish that everyone could have this life.

I hope that each of you are looking forward to seeing at least one special person this week and if you are as lucky as me, you'll be looking forward to seeing 20.

6:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Total Peace
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I have finally figured out the perfect words to sum up my outlook on life:

Find your happiness and live it, the people that love and appreciate you will join you in it.

I think we all spend far too much time trying to make other people happy and we fail to realize that you are the only person that you can make happy, other people can derive happiness from you but you can't make them the person they should be.

I am not religious so my faith rests solely in myself and those people that are in what I call my inner circle – my closest friends and family.  The tenets of my faith are to live the best life that I can, be as happy as I can be, and to never intentionally hurt another person.  I take my relationships with other people seriously and my greatest pride in life is knowing that I am a good friend and that my loved ones [should] never doubt that I am available to them at any time if they need me.

In the past couple of days I have been asked for life advice by 3 people that I care about, they are each going through difficult times and the only advice I could think of was, "Make you happy, the rest will fall into place."  I hope I didn't fail them.

That's what was on my mind, had to get it out.

Currently listening : Pickin’ on Modest Mouse: A Bluegrass Tribute By Various Artists Release date: 16 November, 2004

12:34 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Halloween Weekend
Current mood: tired
Category: Friends

I left my house at 6:30 PM yesterday to go party-hopping with some friends and somehow didn't get home until 1:00 PM today.  I can't complain; it was a pretty bitchin' night.

That, however, is not where this weekend begins.  As with most weekends, it started on Friday.  This particular Friday included a party at Tig's which culminated in Tig being all but naked by the end of the evening with the rest of us urging him, pleading with him really, to put the shirt back on, leave the boxers on, and for the love of god, stop drinking, I will not hold anyone's hair back tonight.

There was much liquor, much ridiculousness, and it was much fun.

Last night involved 3 parties, Denise, Aaron, Richard, Amanda, Lovell, and me.  The first party was pretty wild as the house is permanently decorated for Halloween complete with a human skeleton under the glass bar, don't ask, I haven't a clue whose it is.  It also included a haunted house which Amanda and I got through with only the tiniest bit of piss in our pants as a going away present.  Thank you, dude behind the bloody refrigerator.

Moving along to the second party which included the cutest banana since, well, ever and more drinking.

That party eventually moved to The Venice Café where more drinks were had by some and too many by others, no names.  We helped close the place down and went for breakfast then went to crash.

Approximately a whole mess load of hours later, we had brunch at Ari's and it was yummy.

I'm sick of this post mostly because I'm tired and it didn't turn out as interesting as I thought it might, sorry if I wasted your time.

Currently listening : Rebuild the Wall By Luther Wright & The Wrongs Release date: 23 April, 2002

12:18 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

So Much
Current mood: excited
Category: Automotive

I realized that 9/10 of my posts are categorized as "life" so I chose a different category this time.  No one reads this thing anyway.

So all is going well, here's a recap:

My new job is uber fun.  I like everyone I work with and I like what I do.  I also like that there is a buffer between my team and stupid.  I used to be the only person that managed the databases at my last company so all of the stupid questions were shot at me.  At the new place, we have a system in place so that not just anyone can get to us with requests and such-it's brilliant!

The band is going fairly well with the exception of our last practice which was worse than our first but as Aaron said, "that's only because we know more songs to fuck up."

I miss Jessica and Chris who have been on their honeymoon for the past week.  They'll be back tonight so yippee.

All of my friends are still the coolest people in the world and I have met a few more recently.  I like them all as well; they are a fun group to hang out with.

I'm looking forward to having dinner on Friday with my St. Louis girlfriends; it's our monthly girls' night that has been on a six month delay.

I was in Richmond to be in Lauri's wedding a few weeks ago and had so much fun.  I was pleased to be invited to Matt's bachelor party complete with a burning effigy to his bachelorhood.  I love him to bits and am so happy that he and Lauri stopped being total pansies and started dating a couple of years ago after months of killing all of their friends with professions of how smitten they were but never telling each other.

I'm currently looking forward to the following:

-Tig's annual Halloween throw down.
-Camping in a few weeks when all of my friends will fly in from all over to get wasted in the middle of nowhere for 3 days.
-The "Pink Floyd" laser show at The Fox.  There is an Australian Pink Floyd cover band that will play as the laser show is conducted by the dude that did the real Floyd shows.
-Going home to RVA for Thanksgiving; April is flying in from Ireland so I'm sure there will be much trouble to get into.  We always find a way.

So yeah, good times ahead.

Currently listening : Ten By Pearl Jam Release date: 27 August, 1991

4:40 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Unrequited Love
Current mood: sleepy
Category: Life

I'm having an unrequited love affair with sleep. It used to be there for me when I wanted it, lasted as long as I needed it to, and was totally fulfilling; just like a good lover. Now, I feel like we are going through a bad breakup; it doesn't last as long as it used to and only comes when it wants to. This has been going on for a couple of weeks and I am now trying to create good bed karma.

I have two kinds of pillows; silk and cotton, two kinds of blankets; a silk comforter and a cotton quilt, and I just bought a pillow top for my mattress. I don't know what else to do to entice sleep back into my bed and to improve our relationship.  I don't want to resort to booze and pills but I may have to.

Any other suggestions?

1:41 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

PLAY:stl Festival
Current mood: tired
Category: Music

Thank you to Laura, Jim, and everyone else who put on the festival this weekend.  It was awesome and we St. Louisans appreciate all of the hard work that was put into it.

For those of you who don't know, there was a music festival in The Loop this weekend.  I was down there Thursday, Friday, and Saturday and found some great music that I was previously unaware of.  Below are my favorites, please note that while there were many great musicians, I am only including the ones that were new to me.

Zack Weber
Go Motion
Semi-Precious Weapons
John Boy's Courage
King Thief
Tone Rodent
The October
The Marquette Weekend
13 Days
Hazard to Ya Booty

Currently listening : Only Just Beginning By Jason Webley Release date: 08 June, 2004

6:13 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Tap Room Show
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Music

We played the Tap Room last night with Tight Pants Syndrome and Captain Howdy and it was a blast.  Thank you to all 800 of our closest friends who came out.  Below are some pictures from the show, special thank you to Steph for womanning the camera that produced these and to Niemeyer for manning the video camera. 

The set went really well and we can now call ourselves professional musicians as we made real money (not just beer, although beer is good pay too!) so we are kind of glowy-eyed about that.

Next show is on Thursday.  Be a cool kid and keep up with us at our Myspace page, we'd love it if you'd be our friend too!

Currently listening : Demon Days By Gorillaz Release date: 24 May, 2005

3:40 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

New Job
Current mood: excited
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I got a new job!  Thank god!  I was starting to hate going to work each day and when you start to feel like that folks, it's time to move on. 

I'm going to be a Systems Analyst/Technology Project Manager for a small company in St. Louis and I can't wait.  I start on September 17^th and I am hopeful that this is going to be a great career move.

You must be thinking, Sara, is it more money?  Why yes, friend, it is. 

If you know me at all, you are also thinking, is there a Starbucks near by?  Duh, I would never work someplace where there wasn't, it's about a block away and there is also one each on either of my options for routes to work.

I don't know what else you are thinking but I am thrilled so now you know what I am thinking. 

I know that I am making a lot of life changes right now, marriage ending, new job, and all that and as Amy has suggested, I may be going through an early life crisis.  I doubt it though, I think that I am finally saying fuck it all and making myself happy.  Band is great; we are experiencing creative highs, have a show in two weeks, and just generally love what we are doing.  I still have a 4.0 in school and am pleased with that as well.

My point is that sometimes changes happen gradually and over time and sometimes everything happens all at once, don't try to fight life, roll with it and see where the tide takes you.

By the way, in case you are wondering, I have worked for my current employer for nearly 5 years.

Currently listening : Fever To Tell By Yeah Yeah Yeahs Release date: 29 April, 2003

4:56 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Single?
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life

Some of you more observant people will have noticed that my marital status has changed on my profile.  Most of our close friends have known for a while but Josh and I are no longer together.  We are still excellent friends and love each other very much but we have reached a point where that is all we want to move forward with.  Please know that there are no sides to choose and if you try that bullshit, we will both cut you out of our lives.

Currently listening : Spurs & Spokes/Bull > Matador By Fake Problems Release date: 13 November, 2006

12:04 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Bye Bye Ace
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Friends

For over a year now, I have had the pleasure of working with Ace (see friends), we have become sort of like Frick and Frack at work because we depend on each other for so much.  We have developed a friendship in the process and it is one that I value because she is one of the most charming, genuine, and fun people that I have ever met.

Friday was her last day and though I know that we will continue our friendship, it makes me sad to think of working in an office for at least 40 hours a week without her.  She knows I wish her the best and I don't want her to stay because I know she is heading for a happier place but it is hard to think about work without her.

Currently listening : Metallica By Metallica Release date: 12 August, 1991

4:42 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Bandspace
Current mood: busy
Category: Music

So the band's Myspace page is up and running (walking, really) now so be our friend. 

We have a show coming up on the 27th.  It's semi-private but if you want to come, let me know and we can get you a pass.

Currently listening : Danzig By Danzig Release date: 11 August, 1998

3:24 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment