SCHOOL’S OUT FOREVER
Current mood: anxious
Category: School, College, Greek

I've posted less than 10 blogs in the past year and a half.  I think it's safe to say that I've "grown out" of MySpace.  The only thing stopping me from deleting it altogether is that there are still some people out there I might want to stay in contact with, or might want to contact me, and seeing as how me informing the world that my phone was stolen and I lost all numbers got me next to nowhere, I'm keeping MySpace up.

I also have about 20 minutes left to kill before my friend can take a break and we can go for a drive. 

I'm at CCBC right now.  People who haven't heard from me since last semester might want to know why.  Today was the official last day of CCBC ever.  I chose to stay and do another semester because I only needed one class to have a degree but I needed to be full-time to keep my health insurance. 

I applied to Pitt and though they really would like me to start in January, I am waiting for a transcript to arrive at their Financial Aid Office.  Until that happens, they can't give me an official letter of acceptance.  Without that letter, I cannot apply for financial aid and grants and loans.  It would also mean I would have to find a decent appartment 50+ miles away and move there within the two weeks that just happen to be labeled "The Holidays". 

This situation is not ideal.  I decided, and think that I have earned the right to take the next 8 months off of school.  I've been working at Blockbuster for a year now and I like my job.  My manager is probably the best I could hope for, the pay right now considering the work I do and my official responsibilities of the store (none) is better than I could hope for at any other job, so I've decided just to work, save up money, take a promotion or two in that time, and just enjoy life.

I'm at a point in my life now where major things are happening to me and my life is actually "good".  I want to take some time out and just enjoy it.  I've been in a relationship for about 8 months now, and I just want to spend time with my Kevin and work.

I spend a lot of time playing videogames with him and just staying in.  I bought a Wii and we are currently addicted to Super Mario Galaxy.  We have all the Guitar Heroes and Rock Band is two days away.

Well, I'm getting all antsy in my pantsy now because the reality of the fact that I get to dick around for the next 8 months is starting to sink in.  I'm going to go check on the status of my friend now, laterz.

Currently playing : Super Mario Galaxy Release date: 12 November, 2007

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Forget about the worries on your mind, you can leave them all behind..................<3
Current mood: loved
Category: Life

Last pst was in April, right before the Be-In and 4:20.  Both were amazing.  Sooooo amazing.  I had a blast.  I got straight A's again last semester, then my birthday was right around the corner, that was awesome too. 

For those of you who may have noticed, my status is no longer single.  The day after finals I met Kevin.  I love him, he's great.

We went to Atlantic City.  That was awesome too.

We're going to go watch movies now and veg.

We worked at the Flea Market all day...

I'll write more later.

<3  Angel C. Sowatskey

P.S.  If you haven't already given me your number, please call or send it to me in a message because my phone got stolen and I haven't been able to get on the net for more than an hour a month since the summer started.  Thanks!  XO

Currently playing : Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80’s Release date: 24 July, 2007

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With my hands around your neck, who will stop me now?
Current mood: angry
Category: Life

It's April 16th.  That is 3 days away from the Be-In and 4 days away from 4:20.  This day is pretty much shot already, I doubt anything further can really be accomplished, therefore let's just say 2 days away from the Be-In and 3 days away from 4:20.  I'm not a big fan of this month.  We had about 18 hours of "nice weather" so far.  Perhaps it's the state of things outside, or the raging indigestion I am suffering after a night of junk food bingeing, but I am not happy.  In fact, I am so UNhappy right now, that seeing happy people makes me angrier.  I think it best that I keep myself away from people as much as possible for awhile, until this bad taste in my mouth goes away.

I'm pissed off at people I don't ever talk about for reasons I won't ever know.  I'm pissed off at myself for allowing myself to be pissed off at them.  I'm pissed off because two of the most important pieces of machinery in my life, my computer and my car, are both FUCKED........  They keep getting fucked, I keep fixing them, and yet they are fucked once more. 

My ride is here.  G2G

Currently watching : The '60s Release date: 22 June, 1999

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I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass ...and I'm all out of bubblegum................
Current mood: disappointed
Category: Life

I haven't been online in awhile, I'm sure anyone who frequents my MySpace is fully aware of that.  Between multiple jobs, school, and attempting to have some kind of a social life, even if that means seeing my friends when they visit me at work or between classes, MySpace is low on my priorities... 

Fact of the matter is...  I've been spending as much of my free time as I can alone.  I'm at a pretty big point in my life.  I'm halfway done with my last semester at CCBC.  Call it "pretend college" or "thirteenth and fourteenth grade" if you will.  I've always hated people who didn't take CCBC seriously, but now I'm starting to understand in a way.  I know everyone on this tiny little campus.  I know every orange brick retro building by heart.  I know all of the faculty by their first names... 

When my lease to my apartment was up, I started getting a lot of pressure from my family to fill out the application for Pitt.  I'm too scared to be rejected.  I'm too scared to be accepted. 

I had an epiphany as I was brushing my teeth the other day...  I always hear things on the radio or see flyers for people who need volunteers for general whatever...  Homeless, animal shelter, free clinics...  These are things I really want to do, but don't have the time for. 

I also realized what I wanted to do with my life, I just have no clue if I'm on the right path.  I just want to help people.  I want to fight for the people who aren't strong enough to fight for themselves.  It's something I have always done.  In school, I always made friends with the underdogs, the loners, the people others generally disliked because they didn't look the same or dress the same, or even speak the same language.  I would stay after school to yell at the principal or teachers who made other students cry.  I would eat lunch with the foreign exchange students who barely knew a word of English or were too embarassed to try to speak it.  I would bitchslap anyone who uttered something racist and get into shouting matches with homophobes. 

This is who I am. 

So...  If I don't get into Pitt, I will take the semester off, work, volunteer my time to whatever needs me, and just loaf around Beaver County.

If I do get into Pitt...  I have to find an apartment, beg people for money, apply for every grant and compete for every scholarship I can until my head spins off into another dimension. 

But hey, it's not your problem.

Here's something that is:

I am soooo disappointed with my generation.  You are a bunch of spoiled sorry ass excuses for human beings.  You need to go have a sit down with the older generation...  Listen to what they had to go through to get by in this country.  Listen to what happened in the 60's...  There was never an issue with getting people involved.  

I'm sick of listening to people whine about how high their phone bills are because they send 23984729837432 text messages a day.

I'm sick of hearing about the latest version of iPod that has come out in the past 14 hours.

I don't want to hear about what happened last night on Grey's Anatomy or Dawson's Creek or whatever the fuck you people waste your minds on. 

I don't relate to these things, and I hope I never will.   

I relate to people.  But most people relate to electronic devices that are brainwashing them, so...  I don't relate as much as I used to, thus the alone time.

If anyone out there still enjoys human interaction, call me.  It's Spring Break...  Otherwise, I would have never had the time to post this.

Currently listening : We Didn't Start The Fire By Billy Joel

11:02 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

It's got what it takes, so tell me why can't this be love?
Current mood: lonely
Category: Podcast

Today I decided to Google the word "Google". 

When I did a magical door appeared in my closet/office here at CaCaBaCa...

I'm about to step through the door into the unknown...

These may be the last words I ever type.

Currently playing : The Sopranos: Road to Respect Release date: 07 November, 2006

11:16 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year, let's hope it's a good one, without any fear......
Current mood: Burnt Out
Category: Burnt Out School, College, Greek

Yeah so it's Christmas.  I finished my semester with a 4.0...  Don't know how the hell I pulled that off.  Especially with French II, but I did apparently.  I got a car, and I dig it.  Now if it'll only last me about 8 more months I'll be happy.  For Christmas I got a bubble bath set from Carmen, and 80's Trivial Pursuit from Fro, a Communty College of Beaver County hoodie from Sandy (who I work for at CaCaBaCa) and a PITT hoodie from my mom and her boyfriend Anup in the hopes that I get into Pitt next year...  Geez, last semester at CaCaBaCa...  That went by fast.  I'm not sure if I'm sad or excited...  I'm almost afraid to apply to Pitt, if they say no, I'm not sure what I'll do.  I spent 1/3 of my Christmas Eve working, another 3rd at Fro's getting drunk and such, and another 3rd at Carmen's.  It was good times.  Except for the work part, but hey...  I'm just glad I have a job.  I'm supposed to be starting at Blockbuster soon.  Movie Gallery wants me to be an assistant manager, but I don't want the job...  I'm probably going to stay there and work at  Blockbuster too.  That means next semester is full time and 3 jobs.  I still don't have plans for New Year's.  I feel like a loser, but eh...  Prices you have to pay when you make school and work your whole life.  I just wanted to make a statement/update of my life really........  It's like 2:30AM and I have to go to yet another family function and work tomorrow........  I hope to sleep a whole lot after that, and catch up on movies and cleaning.  I'm boring.  Yadda yadda tired...............  Feliz Navidad, yo no soy marninero, soy capitan.......

P.S.  Did I mention I had about 3 drinks at Fro's and at least 5 at Carmen's along with a big fat Holden to top it off?  Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh........  Nite!

Currently listening : Happy Christmas (War Is Over) (En By John Lennon Release date: 11 December, 2003

11:25 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Its the holiday season and its freezing cold. No one'll have me I'll have no one to hold.
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life

ARGH!  I got 20 minutes to kill in CaCaBaCa library.  Here's what's up...

I quit my job at Movie Gallery because of my thunder cunt of a manager.  I had a good reason to quit, if not several. 

Then he was fired and all the people I worked with before that quit, as well as myself, were hired back and given raises.  Sweet.

I still do not have a car, and now it's cold out, so walking, even a quarter mile to Wal*Mart has become inconvenient to say the least. 

It's up to me to FIND the car, I'm looking for something that's been recently inspected and is around $1400.  If you know anyone or anything, get back to me.

One week left of school.  This is good.  I don't mind any of my classes except for French.  I literally dread that class to the point where I will be depressed for the entire day before I have class just knowing I have to go. 

I'm also looking forward to seeing a lot of my friends whom I haven't seen for weeks to months because of school.  I'm going through Miguel withdrawl big time...  Timmi-Jo needs to get her ass back to CaCaBaCa...  Carmen's boyfriend Ben is coming home from IUP and we're in love...  It's gonna be good times.  Indeed.  I plan on having some kind of get together party type thing at some point, I don't care what or where, just as long as it happens.  Any input would be nice. 

Alas, it's about time for British History.  I got nothing planned for this weekend but laundry and studying so feel free to ring me.

I'm gonna fall over asleep...  Ugh.............  kbye

<3

Currently playing : Sims Bustin' Out Release date: 15 June, 2006

7:25 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

This is my life... And it's ending one minute at a time.......................................
Current mood: busy
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

So...  As I desperately attempt to find things to help me procrastinate, I come upon a Blog.  Of course...  I am so not about studying for a British History and Western Civ test right now.  If my calculations are correct, I should be fine with a combined study time of approximately 8 hours.  Give or take...  I'm at my mother's currently because as many of you have already heard, Bill died.  He was brought back to life, and yet, he died again.  The first time was due to the fact that his spark plugs were antiques, and once changed, Bill was back to being himself.  Then...  I take him to get inspected at a shit hole of an auto body shop.  "Mike's Pit Stop"  It's across from St. John the Baptist in Monaca, and NEVER go there.  The guy must have obviously known, judging by my age, and the type of car I drive that I could not afford to buy a new one.  It didn't help that he had agreed to pass the car for inspection first, and work on it later, because there is no way Bill could ever pass inspection.  I pull up to the cunt shack and he tells me he's taking my car up the street.  Why?  To do the emissions part...  I ask if I should drive it.  No.  I ask if I should go with.  No.  He takes off, comes back 20 minutes later and the car has smoke/steam coming out of every oriface of it.  The inside is soaked with antifreeze, the outside is practically on fire, and the cum guzzler claims all he did was turn on the defrost.  He wanted $40 for fucking up my Bill, then another $200 plus, JUST to fix what he had fucked up.  I managed to borrow an enormous Dodge Dakota 4x4 truck from my grandfather, without his knowledge because he was conveniently on vacation at the time.  When he came home, the option of borrowing the truck was out of the question.  Here I sit, carless.  My dad, who dodges responsibility whenever possible, has made many plans on how to fix this situation, but has done nothing.  Have to expect that from a guy that runs out on you when you're still in diapers.  My mother does what she can, but after spending half a day with her I'm beginning to remember why I don't live with her anymore.  She likes to repeat herself constantly and tell me to do things over and over when there is nothing I can do.  I hate the broken record routine. 

I overdosed on caffeine the other day.  It was...  Interesting.  Wednesday was the typical get up at 6 AM, be at school/workstudy all day then leave and go directly to my other job until after 11PM and finally get around to eating something and doing whatever homework I have before I pass out.  Well, sleeping wasn't an option this night because I had two tests the following day, so I invested about $30 into Starbucks Double Shots, NoDoze and Ginko Baloba.  I popped pills and downed coffee all night, and by 1:00PM when it was time to take my second test I started losing everything...  I'm not sure how I did, but I care not at this point.  I was supposed to go directly to work after the test because the other person that works at Mo>ie Gallery quit the night before and I had to cover his shift...  Forever.  When I get to work, I pop 6 more caffeine pills and start doing the work thing.  My boss went in the back and I started getting hot flashes...  I sat on the floor for awhile but this seemed to perplex the customers so I found a stool and sat on it for some time.  I realized, it was time to do the tenicolored yawn so I went in the back and barfed my guts out.  If you think espresso is hard going down, try surfing the porcelean bus when that's all you have in your stomach.  Not...  Cool...  I did, however, get to go home, and I got all of Friday off, but I slept for about 36 hours and had the worst headache imaginable. 

I just got a phonecall from the President of the SGA about my nomination for Homecoming Queen...  Tomorrow between my classes I have to go get my picture taken and fill out a bio.  Lame...  So tomorrow, I get up about 6, study study study, first class is at 9-10, then off to do the Homecoming shit, then another class from 10-11, then I have two makeup tests, then I'll probabaly hang out at the school and put a few hours of workstudy in until it's time to be at Movie Gallery at 3:00.  Tuesday I'm excused from classes because we're having a huge hippie fest at the school from 9-4, but I have to be at work at Movie Gallery again at 3:30 so...  I'm going to end up missing two French II classes being that the other is on Thanksgiving, so I'll probably stay up half the night catching up on that.

Wednesday is another class all day, work all day event...  Thursday I work from 3:00-11:00 and that is pretty much pathetic seeing as how I work in a rinky dink movie store in the ghetto, but anyone who hasn't passed out from the triptophan content of their dinner is more than welcome to stop in and visit.  I'll probably be sitting around doing nothing for 8 hours.  Friday is another work all day situation, and Saturday and Sunday I'm off, but I have a 12 page paper due in a few weeks so I'm sure I'll be doing that all day and night. 

I find myself semi-jealous of the people who get to camp out for the PS3's and the Wii's, even if I am against buying new electronics.  Just the fact that they have 12 hours to kill sitting outside Best Buy in the rain...  Will I ever have that again?

I'm getting really nervous over this whole Pitt thing...  I have to send in my transfer application soon, and I will just die if I don't get in.  It's not really the fact that it's hard to get into Pitt, I know I have the grades, the extracurricular activities, etc...  But who's going to pay for all this shit?  My mom got a job with UPMC to see if they would pay for my tuition...  I know there's a bunch of other people who would help pay, but to what extent?  I figured out, by the time I'm finally done with college, I would have spent over $200,000 on my education.  That's a lot of sweet stuff I could get from Pier 1. 

I haven't gone out in over a month.  Who out there still loves me?  Get in line and take a ticket people because when I finally do get some time off over Christmas Break, I'm going to party as much and as often as my body can handle.  Those of you who haven't forgotten me and want some of my time between December 16 and January 9, call dibs.

Okay, I have nothing fabulous to talk about and it's time to fold laundry so XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

12:22 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Across the streams of hopes and dreams where things are really not, come along if you care.....
Current mood: stressed
Category: Life

Yeah, so it's been over a month now since I posted, and I know you're all just DYING to know what's been up with me.

To sum it up, I got bronchitis...

It sucked.

I got two new jobs.

One at a movie store, so I get all the free movies and videogames I want.  Freakin' sweet. 

I'll talk more about jobs later.

Bill...  My POS car...  He fucked up bad.  Not working, not doing shit, for the past 3 days.

I've been getting rides to and from school, to and from home, to and from work...  It's starting to really fucking suck.  Bill, get over yourself and start working again.

I went on a drinking binge last week.  I don't suggest anyone do that after getting over being suck, but hey, I did, and it was pretty freakin' sweet, until Sunday rolled around and I realized I hadn't acomplished anything for the entire week.

School is going pretty good.  It's nice to have money again...  I cant actually feed myself and buy gas and cigarettes...  ALL AT THE SAME TIME!  Haven't been able to do that for quite awhile.

I'm at one of my jobs now...  Not doin' SHIT...  Figured I'd kill the time with MySpace.

As of late, I haven't really had much interest in the internet.  I go on maybe twice a week, and most of the time it's school related.

I've pretty much given up TV altogether.  Now when I have the opportunity to actually watch TV, it seems so boring to me.  I end up getting easily distracted and forgetting the TV was on in the first place.

Today was Fall Transfer Day.  I forgot...  Lame.  I managed to talk to Pitt about housing and they gave me some info...  I can't wait to move to Pittsburgh...  Only about 7-10 months to go before I'm OUTTA HERE...

My body is starting to have strange reactions to stress...  I'm sure as soon as I get my car situation figured out it won't be as bad.

FUCKS!

I hate cars.  I hate Bill.  I miss Freddie...  Freddie was freakin' sweet. 

Not much else to say...  The one and only C.V. Smitth III has just handed me two study guides for upcoming tests so I am going to run to the bookstore and stock up on notecards and such then hunt down my ride home. 

Hit up the phone homies, The Scene Queen can no longer be reached effectively via internet.

<3

Currently reading : Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America By Barbara Ehrenreich Release date: 01 May, 2002

9:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Your eyes are making me stay, it's over and it will never be the same, 8 months till May.......
Current mood: blank
Category: Life

Back to school already. 

I think the summer's learning experience is starting to become clear to me.

A whole different kind of education.

I don't know what I expected from this summer, but I'm sure if I had any expectations they would not have been met.

Maybe I got everything I wanted. 

To do nothing.

I was on overload during the school year, I've allowed my brain to vegitate.

I've pondered on a lot of things, mainly the human race.

Organized religion is getting scarier.

Scientology...  Wow...  Tom Cruise needs to be stopped.

The economy is still horrible.  Still divided into the haves and the have-nots.

TV is horrible. 

The media has gotten so out of hand with the marketing and advertising of...  EVERYTHING, that the only things I can stand to watch are movie channels and anything documentary related.

How many more horrible sitcoms will we have to deal with this fall?  How much more can we distract ourselves from...  Ourselves?

Does anyone still read?

Does anyone still take up stimulating hobbies?

When's the last time you came up with a creative new thing to spend your time doing and actually went and DID it?

MySpace is a cult too...

If it wasn't for the fact that my most recent adventure in the world of cubicle zombies has made me hate the telephone, I probably wouldn't even keep up with it anymore.

A comment, blog, or bulletin just seems to be a faster more effective way of getting my messages across...

One of the few technological conveniences I succumb to.

People put too much stock in their perceptions of other people.

I have to keep reminding them that we all die alone.

Not as depressing as it sounds... 

I think everyone needs to focus on themselves a lot more, as scary as that can be.

We distract ourselves with media...  The people who obsess over the Paris Hiltons and the whoever-the-fucks... 

Why are we trying to emulate other people?  Why are we so interested in what's going on in other peoples' lives? 

The right car, the right clothes, the right hair, the right words...

Why do we allow these things to matter?  Why do we allow other people to dictate what is the right anything? 

Push the limits.

Set your own standards.

Make your own goals.

Be yourselves...

When you stop caring about who loves you, and more about who you love...

When you stop caring about who accepts you, and more about who you accept...

When you stop caring about what other people say about you, and more about what you can say about yourself...

When you stop caring about what others perceive, and more about what you perceive...

When you stop living by other peoples' standards, opinions, and ideals and start living by your own...

Then you're on your way to happiness.

You will never be happy unless you are happy with yourself, and no movie, magazine, or TV show can tell you how you should be.

That's for you to figure out.

I hope you all had a great summer, can't wait for school to start. 

Christmas Break is just around the corner......

<3

Currently reading : Choke By Chuck Palahniuk Release date: 11 June, 2002

3:15 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment