the art and curse of assumption

the danger of much assumption lies in the manifestation of impatience,
the desire to know now, to have now.
lack of trust and
selfishness rearing its ugly head.

were we to assume the happenings in their best light,
it would be a completely different story.
assumption usually dresses itself in the worst way possible,
leading to thoughts running rampant
and minds clearing a path for lies and other such things that
end up in the forefront of our minds.

let's assume that assuming gets leads us nowhere
but into our own worst fears.

turn the light on, let your eyes adjust, and proceed when your vision and perspective have adapted to reality and Truth.

3:49 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The Proverbial Box

It will be a poor analogy, but one that encompasses what my insufficient words are attempting to convey.

When bombarded with anything, it seems like our minds and our hearts become this container. A container that collects our thoughts, our emotions, our fears, our joys and our concerns, etc--and as it collects, these all become swirled together. We attempt to sort them out, categorize them, and make sense of them. And then, with those manipulated, compartmentalized concepts, we come before God. We come before God with things that have already been tried to be solved, dealt with, or somewhat figured out. We get them into a place of "OK, things are kind of in control" before we offer them to God and place them at the feet of his throne.

Then, other times, we proceed to our Step 2. If we do get our ducks in a somewhat organized row and place them at his throne, we expect him to align them, make them right, finish off the job-put the final touches on it that we are obviously not capable of. We come before him because we expect resolve in our distress, our despair and our incapacity of handling something completely by ourselves, with our own, foolishly self-appointed power. And in these moments, that object of disdain or sorrow becomes the impetus behind why we go before God. And if he doesn’t follow through with our own desires, the idea of him merely becomes a roadblock on our road to fixing the immediate "problem."

Well, here’s the problem with that "problem." Our dilemma is that we don’t see God in view as we’re bringing these things before him. We are not seeking him out, searching after him to know him and his will for us. We are merely seeking him out to get something fixed, to pave the pot holes, to sand off the edges for us-so that we can experience what we think to be peace of mind.

This is where my analogy somewhat falls apart. Rather than treating God as one whom we come before to dump out our issues, we need to approach him as this completely immeasurable, ever-expanding "box" with no constraints, no parameters-something absolutely incomprehensible to our limited minds because of its very nature. Where we are confined by time, by measurements and by comparison; he is constantly present in a timeless, immeasurable, absolutely unique and perfect existence. And it is in his existence, in his complete fullness, that he beckons us to come before him. To come into that "box" that IS God, not to dump into, but to rest safely inside, to be amazed by, and to trust that the "box" that IS him is much greater than the box that we so feebly try to put him into. This "box"contains everything that we know or could attempt to conjure up. It is, in this "box" that everything exists, finds purpose, finds life and finds freedom to be broken; and in that freedom, the capacity to be healed, restored, and ultimately realizing that it has been made new.

This "box" is just a poor parallel to what is his truly immeasurable Love. The Love that gives breath, and gives purpose for all who simply receive; that gives life-that is life. And in this, may we find such joy in receiving Love and truly yearning and striving to know our God.

12:52 AM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Summer

Patience wears thin as I wait on
The coming of the summer sun,
That will take the cold, cool spring
By the hands and lead it
Over and far beyond the warmth of
The beating rays, the brightness of
Its seemingly unending days
That beckons all to bask in the
Promised euphoria of heat perfected,
The bliss of nature’s accolades emerging from
The cusp of its extensive slumber;
Anticipation of what is in view.

10:01 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

She has.

Off to the street corner where she waits-
Where she wonders if there's more
To see, to know, to love.
Routine has become the net that catches her,
Defining who she is.
She's lost her name.
To a list of things she does or still has to do.
She'll occasionally try to let out a cry for help-
And even though a part of her wants no one to hear,
It still goes unnoticed.
She's lost her voice.
Though she's walked down this road
For as long as she can remember,
Her steps are becoming shorter,
Uncertainty and despair creep into her being
With every foot placed in front of the other.
She's lost her way.
A broken spirit in need of mending
A broken heart in need of restoration
A broken body-feeble and waiting for renewal.
"Create in her a new heart, O God,
And renew a right spirit within her. "

Change of Events.

So often we seek and strive
And the art of sitting and being present
Has been lost amidst
Our impatience and our desire to know
To have control
Over things we were never meant to control
Over things that aren't for us to know
In the first place.

In a radical change of events,
What would it look like to stop
To wait, to listen, to be present
Rather than jump on the first opportunity
To take, manipulate and worry?
I ask for Grace to still with me
To hold my hands as they feel idle
To trust. To taste what is true.
I want to encounter and the behold the art of letting go.
Surrender.

2:50 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Matters of...

Pulsing,
Breathing,
Functioning.
Getting by, but not living.
Beating,
Aching,
Pounding,
Weighed down, unsure, not resting.
Warring,
Battling,
Fighting.
Impatiently waiting for something-
Something other.

The source of life in this shell we call body,
Is beating, but if disconnected from Life that truly is Life,
Is nothing but an organ, dependent and faulty.
If I seek for wholeness, for rest, for healing
In my own strength that runs out when I run too hard,
I am my own detriment. 'Me' becomes the reason for falling apart.
If I lean into what I perceive as strength, the knowledge of this mind,
This head, disappointment awaits for there's knowledge of a different kind.
There is a source that awaits for my full immersion, my complete compliance-
Complete dependency, full reliance.
A source of grace and mercy that I will never be able to grasp and fully know
An bottomless reservoir of an otherness that waits to be beheld.
It bids me 'Come' and waits for me to go.
As the invitation ebbs and flows in the swirl of thoughts in my head,
The Source is already giving me life, giving me love, causing each heart beat,
Causing the flow of this blood within me that runs red
To slow down and acknowledge its Maker.
As it slows, A voice in the intermittent beating becomes the breath of Life that says,
"Slow down, and I know that I am God.
Be still, and know that I am God."

11:36 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Constancy.

In my moments of frailty,
The fullness of who You are is near
In the moments of my questioning,
In stillness, Truth You remain.
In those times when my eyes turn away,
In constant pursuit of me you stay.
In the moments when my eyes fail to see Your grandeur
You reveal to me, the beauty of who You are
In a manner that moves my heart to dance,
Reminding me of Love that is forever.
As I my thoughts fluctuate, as my mind wrestles,
As my heart battles for a grip of what is True,
You are Just. Forgiving. Merciful. Full of Grace.
Though all else may fail me, You're my Constancy.
You are Truth.

10:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Glory.

All of the oceans sing,
Glory to the King,
Wind and trees sing, sing Glory
Glory to the King.

I sing Hallelujah to Your name
Hallelujah to Your Fame, Oh Lord.

Amazed by all that You do,
These praises are sung to You
Fall to my knees in revelry,
Glory to the King.
Sing Glory to the King.

I sing Hallelujah to Your name
Hallelujah to Your Fame, Oh Lord.

9:38 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Rant. Exhale.

There's something so completely frustrating about not knowing how things will play out, who will be in our lives as we, in some ways, helplessly watch as people come and go. At the same time, it's strangely freeing. This life is not ours to manipulate. We are called to trust, and trust is the very thing that is foreign to us. Rather, trust is placed in money, in homes, in top-of-the-line cars and other "investments." Yet our lives are left hanging in the balance (or rather, the imbalance) of our worries, concerns and questions. Why is there that rift between what we know as truth (complete trust and dependency in Him) and where we foolishly like to mingle in, dabble with (self-induced, dangerous attempts at vulnerability)? We feel completely besides ourselves when we do not have control, but it's always been those times when we've relinquished that desire to mold and form our lives that we've experienced the most freedom-the freedom that only He gives. We have this natural propensity to lean into our own understandings...funny.

9:37 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Please.

Let these eyes of mine see through yours
Let this heart break for something more
Than what it feels
Let it break for something real.

Be my eyes,
My heart,
My hands.
To lay me down,
And give you all that I am.

Lord, please,
Won't you take from me
What's keeping me
From seeing you.

1:12 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment