sharing words of e. e. cummings
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Writing and Poetry

Came across this poem from e. e. cummings while going over books in my library. Somehow touching, thought I would share.

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

1:50 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Getting there (travelling part 2)
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Travel and Places

I love to travel, but it tl it akes something. I am a recovered agoraphobic (like we can recover from that....) Let's say that I can control it whatsoever when I leave my town or when i go to new places.

SO.... I got on the bus at 11pm last night, heading for New York. First marvellous encounter at the customs. My god those guys! I must have a thing for the clean cut or bald, soldier style guy.  It must be the uniform... Or I have some unanswered needs lately.....

And I slept all the way to New York. I love to watch outside the window, but it was dark anyway, couldn't see a thing. In New York, 5 minutes to catch the next bus for Philly. Anyway I wouldn't have missed it, the driver was chatting and was in no hurry, we left 20 minutes late.

So this morning downtown Phladelphia... I have a pretty good feeling. People saying good morning in the street. I always look like a nut case in my city because I smile to everyone. Here it's maybe because I look like a tourist.

Anyway. I am here for a seminar. So not much time to visit.... but I have wifi in my hotel room. A girl ought to know her priority. I lived without internet for 20 days, I can indulge 2 days.

so bla bla bla...

Love you all

A.

9:32 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

travelling
Category: Travel and Places

So I came back from Italy. Beautiful.

Leaving again tonight for Philadelphia. By any chance, there will be an internet connection at the hotel. Will able to catch up on mail and maybe post a poem or two.

love you all

A.

12:56 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

leaving in a couple of hours...

I am leaving in a couple of hours. So many things unsaid. So many things undone.

I want to hug you, hold you in my arms and appease your heart. Hold your hands, walk with you and show you the beauty of this world in the midst of chaos.

I would take another plane to be with you.

So many things unsaid drowning in the deep sea of my tears. Can we lost a love that was never hold, never shared, never kissed?

I am leaving in a couple of hours with a broken heart...

9:10 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

News flash
Current mood: cheerful
Category: inspired Travel and Places

Wow, its me again. Is it possible that I haven't write any poetry since the last post? Indeed...

I am still alive, and well. I have been quiet on many blogs lately also. I read you and stay connected in silence.

I am completing the first, second and hundred draft of my manuscript, due next week.

Right after, I leave for Italy, for a 17 days vacation by the sea.

I will be travelling a lot, if you want a personalized post card, send me your adress, it will be my honor and pleasure to write you something with my inspired handwriting.

I will be posting new writings very soon. I have some poems lurking in the dark, that may show up next week.

Love you all!

With great respect and love!

Ambrozya

Currently listening : Various Positions By Leonard Cohen Release date: 1990-01-01

9:47 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

no more words
Current mood: numb
Category: Writing and Poetry

i have no more words

to tell you the pain

dying with every letter

a little more

     ... a little more

i have lost

the softness of your touch

and cried

a little more

     ... a little more

everything behind

calling in desperation

wound my heart

a little more

      ... a little more

no more games

i bleed to death

it is now or

never again

       ...

       ...

       ...

9:21 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Exhale
Current mood: cynical
Category: Writing and Poetry

I call for you

Single caress

Before I leave

Forever

Dying empty

Alone

Left with

Vague souvenir

Old memories

Your lips

Touching mine

Vivid dream

Did it really happen?

Were you real?

Body cold now

But my soul still breathe

Fantasy

Your warm embrace

That never came

Chained for years

In your desire

You kept me alive

Prisoner

But in the end

Wanted your touch

Your deep penetration

Your breath of pleasures

Is that all you wanted?

Nurture my sense

With empty words

Robbing me of the climax

Now crawling in my grave

Eyes frozen in a last revelation

Your cruelty has no end

My body now rotten

Exhaling by all its pores

The residue of my sad life

A long sigh

Deep orgasm

©MLL 2008

12:50 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

You left me alone in a home without soul
Current mood: angry
Category: Writing and Poetry

I could have cried when they took you away from me but I stayed quiet. Watching through my little eyes I wished I was blind. Fearing your unearthly screams, I wished I was deaf. You disappearing from my eyes, I wished my heart would die. I looked up to him and he turned is back on me, keeping well hidden the secrets of your mind.

I killed people because I didn't know the truth. Raging and destroying other's loved ones, hoping to make you come back. You never did. I still didn't cry. You left me alone in the desert of your essence. Letting ghost and shadows rob me of my sleep. You left me alone in a home without soul, to have my body broken by the one that was supposed to take care of it. You left me alone unprotected. You robbed me of all my tears.

And you came back your eyes dead to the world. Listening to voices that only you could hear. Dismissing my love, forgetting my name. You died for me a long time ago.

Now you walk on this earth seeing light in everyone. Did you have to go through all this? Pushing me away? Hating me? And then love me again. Did you really need to go all the way to the gates of hell and burn in eternal fire?

Did you think you could come back like if you just left an hour ago? Did you think my arms would still be open? Did you think I was still a scared child?

What do you want from me? Love? Forgiveness? Tears? Happiness?

WHO ARE YOU?

10:00 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Fever of the moon
Current mood: cold
Category: feverish Writing and Poetry

Her coolness invades my veins, my cells

Heating my body, forcing it to open its shell

Naked in her stream my tears flow in

Washing every corner, flesh ripping

No more of the little I, is left behind

And doubts cut in pieces, not to be reminded

I have become nothing finding everything

As she light up her true Self within

Lifeless in her white fires

I become ashes to lit other pyres

Being many in her reflections

I choose to be One in her manifestation

8:33 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

When words create the world
Current mood: focused
Category: Writing and Poetry

I tried an new café to write last friday. I was working on this character, inspired by a young man I met couple of years ago when I worked with families and teenagers. I met him when he came back home after a couple of months in the streets. So this café is in the heart of what we call here "The Village", where the gays hang out. Last friday was hot and beautiful, people were walking around smiling, talking to each other, walking the dogs, holding hands freely. All restaurants and cafés had their windows wide open.

I set up my stuff way in the back where I could see everyone coming in, see the streets and also be alone to be able to concentrate. Oldies where playing in the speakers and students where studying at the next table.

At one point I got stuck. I had this feeling of not going anywhere with the character. I felt like I was only describing some story of some sort, with no heart and soul. Of course the story was great and I could hear people reading this saying : Oh, my god!!! Poor guy! and so on.

But am I writting so people will feel sorry for other people and that's it? Why am I writing this? What is the experience I want to trigger in the readers mind? How do I go beyond cynisism and resignation? Like the : "Poor boy". " Too bad for him".  "He should have known better".  "He must have had bad parents". "I hate when they are asking me for money, they are young, they should work!". And so on...

I paused for a couple of minutes and got in touch with one commitment I always had when teenagers were concerns. We can all make the difference with them if we could just open our ears and hearts. I had great results just by doing that. Most of the time when they are struggling with something they can sort it out, they just need to blur the words out and feel heard.

So if I am writing this I want readers to get that teenagers are human beings. It sounds simple but look around, do we talk to people around us like they are equals? Most of the time we play this act on others that we are better, lesser or don't give a shit about them. And just watch us with kids and teenagers, with our "I know better than you" kind of attitude.

And for my kids in the streets... somehow some got there because they felt that they were not good enough for nothing in this so called adult world. And once in the street they have all the proof they want that they are right about us.

So I went on writing with this in mind. To create a character that I considered like a human being. Not just like a situation that I am writing about.

Couple of hours later when I left to go back home. I met this young guy. Obviously he was high on something and looked like he had not taken a shower in days. I was at the corner waiting for my green light when he came right at me asking for money. I smiled, went through my pockets and gave him some small change. Then he asked if I could invite him to the restaurant. I declined and touching his arm I said : "Take care of yourself and please don't buy shit with you money, get something to eat." He looked at me right in the eyes, reading my soul and asked for a hug. I opened my arms and we had this profound embrace right there at the corner of  two of the busyest streets in the city. I could feel him breath the love and give it back completely.

I haven't still read what I wrote that afternoon. But I know that something shifted in my being that day. I am always very polite with homeless people, smiling and having a chitchat when I have the time with the one I meet often. But I never went to that extent. I now have this experience that my words can create a world where everybody can be accepted and love as they are. And that is why I write. I can create a bunch of reasons, but this one is worth my life. Wake up every morning in a world where no one is left behind.

I wont hug every homeless in my city, but I know I can open heart in their presence. Money won't last in their hands, but love will make an everlasting impression.

"With great respect and love, I welcome you all with all my heart"

Ambrozya

10:44 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment