"What's Good in the Hood?" by Poetress
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Writing and Poetry

"WHAT'S GOOD IN THE HOOD?":

'Cept brothaz dying

Sistaz crying

And disease

Like HIV

And H-P-V's multiplying.

Mommaz gettin' high and

Daddy's locked in jail cuz

He robbed cousin's block

That idea wasn't hot

Like her with the 4 kids

And European wigs

And Korean done nails

She stay dressed in designa'

Swear nothin's finer
taking pride in her kids

'Cuz they do the dances

From the music vids….

And he just sick wit' it
When it come to clothes
yeah he sick wit' it-

And when it come to his kids
he like santa

Every year a visit.

But they don't believe
'cuz in magic they don't believe

So they take note of those on the block
& 106 and park,
the Lebrons and Anthonys.

'Cuz those are the idols
wanna be just like 'em

Fuck Dubois! They wanna rap just live Hov!

Thug just like Pac

Get money like Dipset
Hustlin' is HOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

NOT!!!

WHAT'S GOOD?

In the hood?

-Poetress

6:03 AM - 10 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Do black people read?
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Writing and Poetry

BLACK PEOPLE, PLEASE, READ & HEED. POIGNANT.

The sad thing about this article is that the essence of it is true. The
truth hurts. I just hope this sets more Black people in motion towards
making real progress. Chris Rock, a Black comedian, even joked that
Blacks don't read.

Help prove them wrong! Read and pass on.

Please Note:

For those of you who heard it, this is the article Dee Lee was reading
this morning on a New York radio station. For those of you who didn't
hear it, this is very deep. This is a heavy piece and a Caucasian wrote
it.

Dee Lee, CFP

Harvard Financial Educators




Dee Lee

THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the
Blacks without the effort of physical slavery Look at the current
methods of containment that they use on themselves: IGNORANCE, GREED,
and SELFISHNESS.

Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once
said, "The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it in
a book." We now live in the Information Age. They have gained the
opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their
fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous books
readily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com, not to
mention their own Black Bookstores that provide solid blueprints to
reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along),
but few read consistently, if at all.

GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the
abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal.
Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christmas, out of their
450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%).

Any of us can use them as our target market, for any business venture
we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it.
Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They
continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing.

They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in starting a
business. Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU, And
they still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives them
"Status" or that they have achieved their Dream.

They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty
because their greed holds them back from collectively making better
communities.

With the help of BET, and the rest of their black media that often
broadcasts destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to
see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has e ven
jeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the
fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to show
off to each other while we build solid communities with the profits
from our businesses that we market to them.

SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the
major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, Dubois
said that there was an innate division in their culture. A "Talented
Tenth" he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are
segments of their culture that has achieved some "form" of success.
However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't read
that the "Talented Tenth" was then responsible to aid The Non-Talented
Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has
created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people
or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we
have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together
on any project or endeavor of substance. When they do get together,
their selfishness lets their egos get in the way of their goal Their
so-called help organizations seem to only want to promote their name
without making any real change in their community.

They are content to sit in conferences and conventions in our hotels,
and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best
speakers, not to the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness?
They steadfastly refuse to see that TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM)

They do not understand that they are no better than each other because
of what they own, as a matter of fact, most of those Buppies are but
one or two pay checks away from poverty. All of which is under the
control of our pens in our offices and our rooms.


Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to read,
continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are "helping"
their communities by paying dues to organizations which do little other
than hold lavish conventions in our hotels. By the way, don't worry
about any of them reading this letter, remember, 'THEY DON'T READ!!!!

(Prove them wrong. Please pass this on! After Reading it..)

6:32 AM - 6 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Baltimore bans "extreme" hairstyles
Current mood: infuriated
Category: Blogging

Baltimore police department bans natural hairstyles

The Baltimore Police Dept and City Council has effectively banned the wearing of natural hair. This new policy effective January 1st will require women with locs to cut their hair off and those with natural styles straighten their hair in order to "conform." -www.Nappturality. com

The Baltimore City Police Department has issued a new mandate which prohibits the wearing of Dreadlocks, Cornrows and Twists.

Baltimore Police Dept Racist Grooming Policy Petition:

To: Baltimore Police Department & City Council
We are shocked and appalled at the decision by the Baltimore Police Department to implement a grooming policy which widely discriminates against people of African descent. The policy states the following:

General Order C-12, Professional Appearance Standards, effective from 1 January 2007

• "Extreme or fad hairstyles are PROHIBITED, including but not limited to: cornrows, mohawks, dreadlocks, and twists, as well as designs or sculptures using the hair and/or cut into the hair."

We take offense at the description of our hair in its natural texture as "extreme" and "fad".

The implementation of this policy will give women 3 choices:

1. Straighten their natural hair so they can wear it in European styles;
2. Completely cover their hair by wearing a European-style weave;
3. Shave their hair off and keep it extremely close cut or remain bald.

I read this this morning on a yahoo discussion board and knew I had to share it with y'all.  I'm apalled by this.  In fact, I'm disgusted. I can believe that things like this are still going on in this day and age.  Here it is, almost 2007 and heavy discrimination is still in affect.  My question is, how can they even get away with that?.... Man, I'm heated..... Y'all holla!

~~Anjel~~ 

7:18 AM - 8 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Are you a nigga?..... Comment with your thoughts
Category: Blogging

Are you a nigga?

This article was taken from allhiphop.com editorial page.

She made some very interesting points…..

I have come to the conclusion that this word is here to stay.

I think that the efforts these civil right leaders are putting into "banishing"  this word is not only a waste of time and energy but an all around LOST CAUSE.

They should go back to focusing on keeping the blacks and brown out of prisons and upping education.  TEACH so the next generation can LEARN to LOVE and appreciate themselves and their histories.

I don't use the word in my everyday vocab cuz I know my HISTORY, I feel bad saying it knowing….and when I DO say it I MEAN IT AS WHAT IT STANDS FOR! (Betchu Sharpton and Jessie won't holla @ me! Lol)
I appreciate the struggle it took others for me to be able to accomplish the things I can today (shit writing this even!).

I can't believe the foolishness that by using the word as a positive we are….whatever!

Read express your thoughts…white, black or brown, thoughts have no race right? Umhmmm!

Plus I'm a fan of SISTA SOULJAH…many of you know her from THE COLDEST WINTER EVER…cop some of her other material…she's deep.

Poetress

Thanks to Kramer: America Needs Him!!
By Adisa Banjoko

In the early 90's there was a female rapper/spoken word poet/Black activist named Sister Souljah.

Most people know her for the song she did with Terminator X and Chuck D from Public Enemy called "Buck Whylin'".

WATCH IT: www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMbD_dFe0aA

She made an album many people laughed off, but I thought it was amazing. It was called "The Hate That Hate Produced".

Her first single was called "Slavery is Back in Effect". The video was off the hook. In enacted a scenario where Black people were put back to work in plantations and moved to mass concentration camps.

She was hated by almost all the mainstream press. Only Phil Donahue gave her a fair platform to speak. Even Bill Clinton hated her.

She is a hero of mine on many levels, though I never agreed with everything she always said.

You thought this was about Kramer though? It is.

I saw her do lectures several times. She was and is an amazing, intelligent Black woman. One time when asked about the word @#%$, she said something profound. Basically, she said it did not matter if White people stopped calling Blacks ******s, because WE (Black people) would never stop using it. This, she asserted, was due to centuries of miseducation and lack of cultural clarity.

I grew up in the Bay Area suburbs. I got into a fair share of fights over the "n word". That's how my dad raised me and that's how I raise my son and my daughter- to defend their racial and cultural dignity.

But most people who have called me @#%$ are Black. I don't care if they meant it in love, or hate...More Black people have called me @#%$ than anybody else.

That is an actual fact. In fact, if I go to any ghetto in the Bay...I'll get called a @#%$ more times TODAY, by Blacks, than I did in my entire life by Whites.

But you thought this was about Kramer? It is.

Since Kramers obvious mental breakdown/rant, Black people from all over the country are banning together to "Stop the N Word".

Good luck with that.

Even Paul Mooney, the KING of using the word in comedy decided that he was going to stop. He claimed to be so shocked and upset. I respectfully suggest Mr. Mooney shut his mouth. I believe he is a liar. A LIAR.

He made millions using the word. So the real question is, how much money does it take to make Mooney stop using the n word. Who paid him to do it and why did they?

You see, Mr. Mooney comes from a generation where Black men were still hung, beaten, murdered, and lynched....He comes from an era where Black women were spat on and called that word just for trying to get a drink of water...Just to eat a sandwich...Just to read a BOOK- they were called that word, humiliated, and attacked.

But he claims now that it's because of Michael Richards he had an epiphany!!! Get the f**k out of here.

I ain't buying it. Just like I am not buying all these so-called Civil Rights leaders shucking and dancing to meet with Michael Richards. Meanwhile, over in NY, Black men are getting killed by cops on their wedding day. Meanwhile, Black men in the Bay are frying their brains on mushrooms and E pills. Meanwhile, I just walked out of DVI penitentiary and SAW with my own eyes the overcrowded jails with men of all races (but mostly Black and Brown)....But Kramer is where these so-called leaders run to????

The rise of N.W.A. wasn't enough? All the decades of everybody from Master P, 50 Cent, Fat Joe, Kid Rock, Non-Phixion, Necro and even Jennifer Lopez using the word gave nobody a clue about how rampant this word was being used???

Public Enemy addressed the issue with their LP in 1991. The Coup addressed it years before that. Tons of rappers and social activists have spoken out against it. But the media ignored them.

I'll tell you a story. A long time ago I interviewed pro-Black rap group X-Clan. They rapped about self empowerment and respect for women and promoted a lot of Kemetis (aka Egyptian) spirituality.

They also use the N word all the time on their albums and in interviews. I asked them why. I was told by Brother J and Professor X that the word would always be around. That you could never get rid of the word.

What puzzled me at the time was, how could they ask young Black people to call to new Gods, if they still called themselves n*****s? How could you call them to a new spiritual plane, but still encourage them to use a term Black people never KNEW, until they were enslaved on the shores of North America? Sister Souljah knew the answer...She was right.

Najee Ali of Project Islamic H.O.P.E. is the only man who kept a steady pressure on the media and entertainment companies for their constant abuse and use of the word. A lot of people who laughed at him then, should align with him now.

Michael Richards is a red herring for these so-called Civil Rights leaders. He is the red herring reason people like Paul Mooney say despite the Watts Riots, the LA riots after OJ's acquittal, the centuries of Black men and women being killed in America etc., MICHAEL RICHARDS is the cancer we must rally against???? I don't think so. These times are filled with such fakes. Black America is in shambles and attacking Michael Richards won't fix it. Neither will any new rap songs.

Sister Souljah was right in 1990 and she is right now. The masses of Black people still use it, and still love the word.

What Marcus Garvey, Macolm X, Eliah Muhammad, Martin Luther King and many others said still rings true today. It does not matter what ANYBODY thinks of you. It only matters what you think of yourself.

I just wanted to thank Michael Richards for helping Black America showcase it's own hypocrisy.

I mean, if it was'nt for him, we'd NEVER know how wrong it is to use the word. I mean, he taught us more than Malcolm, Martin, Rosa Parks, Dr. John Herik Clarke, Angela Davis, Public Enemy, PRT, Sister Souljah, Betty Shabazz and the Nation of Islam ever could. America clearly needs Michael Richards to help Black people understand themselves better.Thanks Michael, we could not win this war without you. See, I told you this was about Kramer. No go eat some puddin'.

Holla at a scholar,

Adisa Banjoko

bishop@lyricalswords.com

2:11 PM - 17 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Miserable Men... holla ladies!
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Romance and Relationships

Why are some men so d@mn miserable? Why do I want to be around you if you are constantly down? What can you do for me? and I am not talking about on a financial aspect…cuz I'm getting my independent on heavy…I mean emotionally- what can you contribute? I mean physically…how can u PLEASE me if after the moment you gone go right back to your MISERABLE WAYS!!!!

Holla at me about this….Ladies…have you shared in this experience? Men do you have a reason? Shed some light in a sistaz dark corner!!!

3:08 PM - 9 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Try to Run by Poetress
Current mood: COCKY!
Category: COCKY! Writing and Poetry

Try to Run (part 1):

Its

About

Me

I am as selfish as they come

I want you because you won't let me have you

When I get you

I

Wont

Stick

Around.

It the chase. The hunt.
I smelled you before I saw you.

Saw that look in your eyes…

RESISTANCE.

How long will you last?

I got you by your tail…try to RUN

I'm addicted to the challenge

I

Will

Have

You.

Watch and see…..but keep in mind

Its

All

About

Me.

-Poetress

11:57 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Two from Poetress
Current mood: creative
Category: Writing and Poetry

"Signs":

I was in love with an Aries
But she was my best friend
So I met her in the form of a male
and I gave birth to her son.
I mean his son.

I fell hard for a pieces 
but he's a water sign
I think my fire burned too hot.
He enjoyed getting burned
Payback is a b*tch.

I messed with a scorpio
The passion was amazing
He drove me crazy with his actions
Hurt me cuz he was childish
I still love the b@stard.

Moved on to a Gemini
He had to many faces
Like to do it rough and in crazy places
Called me some OTHA CHICKS NAME---
Geminis suck….had to face it!

Chillen with a libra
I mean real quality time
He's got potential to be a real standup guy
But he don't respect my LEO
Times ticking…..

Its about the zodiac baby
Do our planets align?
Is my sun in your orbit?
I'll read your horoscope you read mine?
Its about those traits
Cuz I believe this sh1t is true….
So tell me baby what sign are you?

11:48 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

"I Want In" new short story by Anjel
Category: Writing and Poetry

I pushed him down onto the couch as I picked up the remote.  I clicked towards the stereo.  Tamia's "You Put a Move on My Heart".  I sang along to the slow groove, my voice more sultry and deeper than hers, but no less feminine.  I took the pins out of my long dark locks and shook them loose.  He smiled at me as I slowly unzipped my knee length leather boots and then stepped out of both of them revealing my black lace stockings.  I slipped out of my silk skirt, letting it fall to the floor and smiled back.  I rocked my hips left and right rhythmically when I pulled off my top.  My creamy coffee skin was soft and glowed in the light.  This man was definitely standing at attention by now.  I could see the bulge in his dress pants.

            I grinned again and unhooked the front clasp to my bra, but I teased him by not showing my breasts.  I bent down in front of him, still holding the cups to me and put my cleavage in his face.  He rubbed his face against both of them.  And by the time I'd stood up, he had his pants unzipped, hard-on ready.

            And I guess he couldn't take being teased anymore because before I knew it, he was naked on top of me and all that remained against my skin was my garter belt as he grinded his hips into mine.  I moaned through orgasms almost immediately in the silence as the track went off. 

            He kissed my lips and that's when I felt his body jerk.  He looked at me wide eyed as he got up onto his knees and I screamed when another silent shot caused blood to ooze down his chest.  I grabbed his shirt to cover my body as I scrambled backwards and just watched as he was shot 3 more times.  The killer wanted to make sure he was good and dead.  The doe-eyed, red-boned assailant looked into my eyes and lowered the gun when his body slumped to the floor.

            I put the shirt on buttoning it up and walked over to her.  I hit her in the arm.

            "Ow!" She shouted. "What the hell was that for?!"

            "You scared the shit outta me! Did you have to shoot him while he was on top of me?"

            "I got antsy upstairs and when else was I supposed to do it?"

            I smiled. "Trigga-happy bitch.  You could've waited 'til after we were done and sleeping."

            She looked into my eyes and smiled back. "Ewww, you were enjoying yourself."

            "Maybe I was," I said with a giggle.

            "You're sick," she joked.

            I laughed again. "You shoot a man, what is it? Five times? And I'm the sick one right?"

            My cell vibrated on the table as we shared another laugh.  I picked it up and clicked it on. "Is it done?" A female voice asked on the other end.

            "Yeah Dee.  Where you at?"

            "Right down the street.  See you in a few."

            I hung up and looked at my girl who was already putting her red hair into a ponytail. "Come on," I said. "Let's start cleaning up."

            We got our supplies and started to mop up the blood as the front door opened and closed.  Red looked at his face. "It's too bad," she said, "he was cute."

            "Dick was good too girl," I said and we both laughed again as we slapped hands.

            "It's all fun and games with you two, huh," Dee remarked as she stepped to Red's side. "And damn Red, did you have to make it so messy?"

            "Damn Dee, do you always gotta spoil our fun?" Red shot back.

            "Oh, do you guys ever stop?" I groaned.

            Dee looked me over, still in just the long button-up. "Jesus, Roni, put some clothes on please?"

            I giggled. "OK mama-Deidre."

            I got up to grab my bag as she looked at her watch. "How long is this gonna take? You know we on a time restraint."

            Red stood up. "As soon as Veronica changes, we can be out."

            15 minutes later we were out at the lake throwing a plastic bag full of body parts in.  Walked back to the car, all tired after the long day.

            Red looked at both of us before we opened the doors to get in. "So? Now what?" She asked……………………..

~~Anjel~~

8:47 AM - 1 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

"Allowance" by Poetress
Category: Writing and Poetry

I am only going to hurt you

And I cant help it

I am going to suck the love out of your heart

Just to make me feel better

I am going to chip away at your soul

And feed the pieces to my ego

Going to make love to your mind

Just to fulfill my own selfish needs.

And you will allow it.

I wish I could tell you to go away

To get away from me

To run as fast as you can.

I can bring you no good later

I can only offer you today…maybe tomorrow
I can only offer you my pretty face

And ready body

And cool conversation
This I can tell you-

But I can't tell you how I will discard you
like an old pair of favorite heels.

And you will allow it.

SEE. OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE.

I am not as I seem.

I am not who you make me to be.

I am not who I portray myself to you.

So you will ask in the end-

"What happened?"

And I willl tell you….

I HAPPENED.

AND YOU ALLOWED IT.

-Poetress

7:02 AM - 6 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

"The Wrong Reasons" ~~Anjel~~
Category: Writing and Poetry

"The Wrong Reasons":

So here's what we really fear

when break-up is inevitable

Change

Discomfort

Finding new love

Wondering if the old love

will find new love

Leaving

Starting over

Lonely nights

Wondering if you made a mistake

Human beings are creatures of habit

So rather than do what needs to be done

We cling to someone

for all the wrong reasons

~~Anjel~~

6:55 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Hero 2 Zero---POETRESS
Category: Writing and Poetry

My hero

 betrayed me with a drink in

hand and a balled fist

blood on his knuckles anger in

his eyes

like mine like me

in his face I see what I could be

but the marks on hers are more

like mine

I cried and now I cry

drowning in tears that he cant

save me from

cuz the hero has become

The Villian.

5:19 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

OUT--a poem/scenario by POETRESS
Category: Writing and Poetry

OUT

She had a baby when she was 15.

Her mother was 30 at the time

And her grandmother had just turned 46 2 days before.

Her mother knew her daughter was "knocked up"

But chose to ignore the "signs" thinking she would do "the right thing"

And get rid of it—

Why would she make the mistake she did?

She THOUGHT her daughter was smarter than that.

Grandma…asked the questions such as

"you having s3x?"

"you gaining weight?"

"Did you get your monthly?"

and she answers no, maybe, umhmmm.

And her belly grows-

And she got the nerve not to be scared cuz

Her "man" got her.

He gone move her into a her own place,

Buy their baby fly gear,

And they gone be together "FOREVER"

So instead of colleges and universities

She picking out baby names, and designing nurseries-

Applying for jobs at Old navy and the childrens place

Crying over her stretch marks and expanding waist.

At eight months she couldn't hide it-

Her mother had to face the truth

There was no denying it

Her baby was having a baby-

It was fact

For sure HER mother would blame her for that.

And grandma telling her she knew all along

"why you do this girl, how you gone get along?"

but she got it all figured out.

She just wanted to GET OUT

and when she did she regretted it.

cuz now she's a statistic.

17, high school drop out, baby daddy in jail, living in the projects

and on welfare.

Looking out a broken window into a world of broken promises

Wondering--- how did I get here?

And she sheds tears

Every night-

The crying of her daughter make her crazy

How many times did it cross her mind to just up and leave that baby?

Now she just wants to GET OUT

But she's stuck

yet to realize that there is no return on a life

Just shy

of eighteen and she's ready to give up

Life took her OUT!

5:04 PM - 2 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Suicide ---a poem by poetress
Category: Writing and Poetry

Suicide

Sleeping Pills

Classic!

One….two….fourteen……twenty-

Tired.
Close my eyes and rest.

Sweet dreams!

Gun!

Nervous.

IT will be quick at least.

Safety off.

Head? No….

Mouth..put it in my mouth.

It's so cold…the taste of steel is gross

Eyes shut tight.

One…two…..three---

BANG.

Knife.

Sharpened!

Slow way to go.

But maybe someone will come in time.

Doubt.

Cut the neck?

Wrist. Make a statement.

OUCH! One down.

OHHH!! Other wrist done.

All that blood! It will stain for sure!

All that red.

Cold.

Freezing.

Nobody is coming.

(laughing)

all that red.

She committing suicide ya'll. How do you save her?

You see her everyday and I bet you had no idea.

She smiles in your face. A pretty smile too.

And behind those cheery eyes she thinking….

Pills?

Gun?

Knife?

And you smiling back.

But all she when she look at you is Red. ALL THAT RED.

4:58 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Excerpt "A Business Affair" ~~Anjel~~
Category: Writing and Poetry

Come take a journey

my man of mystery

Use your lips

and get me wetter

than the seas in the West Indies

Use your tongue

and explore curves

that dip

with hills and valleys like Georgia

My body trembles and shakes

It's an earthquake

in L.A.

I'm as deep as the Atlantic

Get a rush as you surf through the Pacific

Feels so good when you erupt

like the volcanoes on the islands

of Hawaii

We'll exceed the skies

as we hit Cloud Nine

Let's take a ride

Can't wait for you to explore

this body of mine

-"Let's Take a Ride"

I looked at the clock on my pc. It was after ten in the morning.

I hopped up and ran to my bathroom. I was anxious as hell when I combed out my wrap. I really didn't know if I could go through with it, but it was too late now, he was already on his way over.

I could barely sit still as I waited. I was so jumpy that the phone scared the shit outta me when it rang. "Hello?"

It was just my luck for it to be Richie on the other end. "Hey baby," I said trying to sound as casual as possible. I went over to the window to keep a look out for Nate as I made small talk with my man. I slipped on my sneakers a few minutes later when I noticed an SUV creepin' through the apartment complex. It parked a few apartments down. I quietly opened the front door and stepped out so that Nate could see that I was on the phone. He stepped out of his car.

"That him?" He mouthed as he stepped closer to me

I nodded and put a finger to my lips. I gestured for him to come inside. He softly closed the door behind him as I sat down at the computer desk. Nate made his way over to the couch and sat down. I don't even remember what I said to Richie to get off the phone, somethin' lame, but somethin' that worked. I hung up and stood up, setting the phone down on the desk.

"He would call me right now, geez," I said with a smile as I looked at Nate across the room.

He stood up and smiled back. "Can I get a hug now?"

I walked over to him and stood up on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms up around his neck as we embraced warmly. I smiled again as I went to kiss him softly. Now or never, I told myself. I looked into his eyes. "Mm," he said, "You have no idea how long I been waitin' for this." I pecked him on the lips as I unbuckled his belt and undid his dress pants. I wanted to see if he backed up his claims. Nothing could've prepared me for what I saw though.

My jaw dropped when I pulled down his pants and draws. It was like 6 inches, and he wasn't even hard yet! And thick too. I knew right then, that I would not be backin' down. "Wow," I uttered. I looked into his eyes in shock.

He smiled. "What."

"Damn, you weren't lyin'," I said. He chuckled a bit. I looked down at his dick again. "Can I just look at it?" I joked. I was damn sure amazed. I'd never seen one that big. "Take your clothes off," I told him.

I unbuttoned my jeans and stepped out of them when they dropped to the floor. He sat down on the couch and I straddled him. I kissed him deeply before I took off my shirt. He grabbed both of my breasts and sucked on them. I moaned softly. Then he laid me down. He stroked my skin and kissed down my chest. He licked my thighs. And without any coercing on my part, he licked my pussy. I held his head, and put my own head back enjoying it.

Nate let up for a moment to grab a condom and grabbed the blanket off my couch. He spread it out on the floor. I lay down on it and he smiled at me. "Damn," he said when he scanned me. I smiled back coyly as he leaned in to kiss me again. He sat up to put the condom on. "Madd nervous," he admitted to me.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"'Cuz, I'm in this dude's home. What if he like comes home while were goin' at it?"

I nodded. It was a valid concern, but to my surprise, I wasn't nervous at all and I definitely had more to lose if we got caught. I was more worried about him backing down from his anxiety. "Don't be nervous," I told him. "Come 'ere," I said as I gestured with my finger. We kissed again, and he tried to stick it in, but he wasn't hard. He sat up again.

"Damn condoms," he said, "I haven't worn one in so long."

I giggled and sat up too. "You just havin' all kinds of problems, huh."

He smiled at me and pulled the condom off. "So, let's see those deep-throat skills."

I smiled, but internally I wondered how I was gonna get that thing in my mouth. I figured it would double in size once it was hard. Then I wondered, how was it gonna fit inside me? I put those feelings to the back of my mind though as I lay on my side and started sucking. I was right about it doubling in size; I fit as much as I could though and went to work.

He laid me back down when I let up and slid inside me raw. And I didn't stop him. Somehow, I'd assumed a long time ago that if we did this, it would be without protection. I guess it had to do with him being married so long. The part that shocked me was how easily it slid in. And how good it felt as he filled me up.

He did me missionary, sideways, from behind.... And I was lovin' every bit of it. Especially when he hit me from the back. He pounded me hard and he was sooo deep. It was an intoxicating mix of pain and pleasure. More pleasure than pain. "Is this whatchu wanted?" He asked in that low, sexy tone.

"Yesssss," I sighed.

"Is this whatchu like?"

"Ooh yeah."

The way he caressed me, the way he kissed my neck, how his hands held my waist. It would be one experience that I would never forget.

He pulled out and came all over my ass. Felt like a good minute passed, there was so much cum.

"Daaaaaamn!" I exclaimed with a laugh when he was done. "I don't even wanna move now. Go get a paper towel."

I giggled as he ran to the kitchen. He came back and wiped my booty off. I stood up, legs were madd weak.

I kissed him one last time before he left. "I should be back in the office shortly," he told me. "IM me."

I nodded and shut the door behind him. Then I quickly ran to the bathroom to take a shower.

I wasn't guilty at all after the first time. Shocked the hell outta myself. I never would've thought that I would ever be the cheating type and yet, there I was. I often wondered what everyone else, my family and other friends, would say if they knew what I was doing. I portrayed that "good girl" image. Like Nate said, I looked like I was sweet and innocent, but honestly, I loved being bad.

You think that's strange, it only gets funnier, stay with me here. I honestly believe that for a while there, I fell deeper in love with Richie. I know, I know, sounds crazy. And I always thought that people who said cheating was a relationship booster were kidding themselves. But my feelings for Richie only seemed to grow stronger with each day despite the fact that I was straying.

Things with Nate and me were all based on desire and they had to stay that way. Desire always sizzled in the beginning, only to fizzle out when real relationship bullshit starts to enter the equation anyway. What me and Richie have is real; a love that can stand the test of time. I truly believe that.

And those rare times that we were actually on the same page sexually, burned hotter than any experience with another man.

Sounds like maybe I was thinking about stopping, right? Yeah, I thought about it, but never acted on it. Call me a greedy bitch, I was getting mine.

I was nervous as Nate pulled up into the parking lot of my complex. It'd been a few weeks since we'd seen each other in the flesh. Although we continued to talk online and I'd given him my cell phone number by then. My shy side kinda took over for a moment when I walked over to his car. But of course as soon as I got into the car and he smiled at me, boldness returned.

We chatted, falling easily back into our playful banter, as he drove. We talked about marriage in general; that's when I found out that he had a 5-year-old son. Nate had interesting views on things. His opinions on everything intrigued me. He had this candor about him that I liked.

"So what part of Connecticut you from anyway? Bloomfield?"

I shook my head. "East Hartford." I smiled then. "Whatchu know about Connecticut?" I asked.

"I have friends that live up there