6:11 AM - 2008 movies I’ve seen (NOW WITH GRADES!!)

Since MySpace doesn't have anything like Facebook's Flickster - at least, that I know of - here are copy and pasted reviews of the 2008 movies I've seen.

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

Not even the wave of nostalgia building over the past nineteen years is enough to sustain moviegoers from this weak, yet, somewhat entertaining entry in the series. Ford is more than game, and while the premise is the most out there of the four film...(read more)s it's still pretty interesting. But the film is overrun with (poor) special effects, clunky dialogue, and characters that bicker at each other like sitcom couples. Worst of all, there is no sense of wonder as doors open. In the first three you felt like these things could actually happen, but here the audience is kept at a distance.

GRADE: B-

SEX AND THE CITY

It's not going to make non-fans want to add the series to their Netflix queue, but it embodies most of the qualities of said series, just on a bigger scale. Still, I would've liked it to be funnier and a little shorter.

GRADE: B

88 MINUTES

Contains some of the biggest plot holes ever by taking nearly every cliché in the "psychological thriller" cannon and only doing them halfway. It's as if the filmmakers had scenes in their heads with no idea on how to connect them. Nobody leaves th...(read more)is movie unscathed.

GRADE: D

IRON MAN

Surprisingly good considering how little actually happens. It's an origin story, but it doesn't feel like it's just there to set up the possible sequels. The casting of Robert Downey, Jr. is inspired and the actor plays off his bad boy image with s...(read more)ublime ease. The film's wit and personality make its non-fantastical scenes just as good as its action sequences.

GRADE: B+

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

One of the more realistic break-up movies out there. It doesn't paint its players in black and white, but in more of a middle ground where you understand the reasoning behind each character's actions. Oh, and it's absolutely hilarious. Personally,...(read more) I thought it was better than "Superbad."

GRADE: B+

BABY MAMA

Perfectly pleasant film that doesn't really risk anything, but doesn't fall flat on its face. Makes me hopeful that Fey will write a better film for her and Poehler.

GRADE: B

STREET KINGS

Forest Whitaker seems to think he's in a different movie, and can't quite decide where to put his character. And even though I can't completely buy Keanu Reeves as the tough cop, director David Ayer gives us enough grit so that it hardly matters.

GRADE: B

SMART PEOPLE

We've come to the point where films like "Sideways" and "Juno" are being cribbed, which gives us this decent, yet ultimately disappointing affair. However, Thomas Haden Church and Ellen Page steal this movie away from their bigger name costars.

GRADE: B

VANTAGE POINT

My two gripes with it are that it gets repetitive due to its structure and the script basically consists of "Let's go!" type of dialogue. But it's still a swift and exciting film.

GRADE: B

DOOMSDAY

Sure, it borrows its entire plot from numerous other films, but it's so darn fun and so darkly comic that it doesn't bother you. It's big and loud and violent and that's all it wants to be, which suits me just fine.

GRADE: B+

DEFINITELY, MAYBE

Here's a cute movie that has more intelligence than treacle. All the performances fit snuggly in the film that reaches some true emotional moments.

GRADE: B

JUMPER

I appreciate that the film disposes of an elaborate setup, but even at under 90 minutes the film feels like there's 45 minutes of filler. It's not exciting, its performances border on sleep-inducing - aside from Jamie Bell - and the plot holes make th...(read more)e Grand Canyon seem small. All this and an ending that is merely there to serve as a precursor for a possible sequel.

GRADE: C

THE BANK JOB

Interestingly enough, the film really takes off after the bank job has been pulled. There's swift excitement to be had in what could have been just another disposable Jason Statham vehicle.

GRADE: B

GEORGE A. ROMERO'S DIARY OF THE DEAD

The gimmick - that we're seeing the zombie apocalypse through the eyes of amateur filmmakers - is a hurdle the film's logic can never overcome. Add on some really bad, but not in good way, horror movie acting, and you've got a disappointing film who...(read more)se social commentary is far too heavy-handed to be effective.

GRADE: B-

CLOVERFIELD

Much more than just Godzilla by way of the Blair Witch, this film is genuinely creepy and cleverly ambiguous. The characters are one note, which makes it all the more scary as to which one may or may not get picked off next. Earns the title of "thr...(read more)ill ride."

GRADE: B+

RAMBO

The film pulls no punches when depicting the atrocities that occur in Burma (make no mistake about it; it earns its R-rating). And many of these directors from the Michael Bay school of action filmmaking could learn a thing or two from Sly. Sure, it's only January, but Stallone may have made one of the best action films of the year.

GRADE: A-

STRANGE WILDERNESS

There are exactly three good jokes in the film's first five minutes and not a single one for the next hour and twenty-two. Save yourself the time and just kick yourself in the junk.

GRADE: D-

Currently listening : Flight of the Conchords By Flight of the Conchords Release date: 2008-04-22

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1:12 PM - Andys brief movie reviews - Clap for Alaska

What I do for my readers is amazing.  Last night I braved thunderstorms, late hours, and stupid stoner high school teens to attend the midnight showing of The Simpsons Movie.  I know, I know, I could've seen the new Lindsay Lohan thriller I Know Who Killed Me - and if I wanted to see it I probably should because it'll be gone by next week, mark my words - but I decided last summer after seeing the teaser trailer that anything less than a midnight showing of this film version of the seminal animated TV show would be considered a failure.  But this isn't a review of me.  It's a film review, so let's get to it.

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In recent years it seems that studios release animated films with more frequency than Britney Spears births her future troubled teens.  As the use of CGI increases at an alarming rate, it has become easier for studios to put out anything - and I do mean anything - in hopes of making a quick buck rather than making a good film.  How else to explain vomit-inducing dreck like Hoodwinked, Happily N'ver After, and Meet the Robinsons.  The thinking is that hopefully one of these will hit, thus, making up for the money used on all the ones that didn't.  And let's not forget all those ching-ching marketing tie-ins, so apart of moviemaking nowadays that practically any semi-successful film can spawn at least one direct-to-video sequel.

So it's with a heavy helping of fanboy glee that I can say to you that The Simpsons Movie isn't hitting the multiplexes just to make some extra d'oh, it's a for real motion picture that can stand on it's own two four-toed feet.  The filmmakers, most of whom have been with the show for years and years, don't try to do anything new with the formula.  Rather, it's just everyone you know and love, but on a slightly larger scale.  Homer still gets to be Homer, with all his buffoonery still intact.  Marge the confoundingly understanding wife, Lisa the activist, and Bart with his ever continuing quest to find that father figure (a long-standing theme of the series, explored with more depth in this film).

There is a plot, but it mainly serves to move the film along with its rat-a-tat quips and visual gags, as well as some biting political commentary.  Homer adopts a pig and dumps a silo of his "leavings" into Lake Springfield, making it toxic, which piques the interest of the Environment Protection Agency, who then places a see-through dome over the town.  When it's found out by the townsfolk that Homer was the one who caused their entombing (he put a return to message on the silo), the family escapes to Alaska only to be pursued by the head of the EPA, Russ Cargill (voiced by longtime Simpsons collaborator Albert Brooks).

It's only when Homer is separated from his family that the film falters a little, cementing the family bond that holds the show and movie together.  And I would've liked some more of the minor characters to have been in it, but these are minor quarrels.  From little Ralph Wiggum sing-songing the 20th Century Fox theme from inside the logo to the end credits, The Simpsons Movie is thoroughly enjoyable addition into the legacy of the greatest show to ever grace the small screen.  GRADE: B+

Currently watching : The Last King of Scotland (Widescreen Edition) Release date: 17 April, 2007

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11:29 AM - Andys brief movie reviews - Do her cheeks have a rosey Hugh?

I never understood what anyone saw in Hugh Grant back in 1994 after Four Weddings and a Funeral hit.  What was making women fawn all over this guy who seemingly couldn't get through a simple sentence without stammering in romantic awkwardness, befuddled beyond anything we had ever seen?  Heck, he even charmed Elizabeth Hurley back into his arms after his backseat tryst with Divine Brown.  He just seemed so overtly - I don't know - British to me.

So it's quite pleasant to see him having a nice little autumn of his career.  It's as if Grant had gotten sick of the public persona of Hugh Grant.  I began to grow a certain fondness to his cad-like charms in About a Boy, and particularly in Bridget Jones (admit it, he was the best part of those two movies).  And so, reteaming with writer/direct Marc Lawrence (Two Weeks Notice) for the romantic fluff that is Music and Lyrics proves to be a lite, yet altogether enjoyable experience.

Paired with slightly askewed Drew Barrymore, Grant takes what could have been a mere trifle and inflects it with some dry British life.  Sure, this isn't anything you haven't seen before.  In fact, I'm sure it's culled together from pieces of lesser romantic comedies.  But the result is an amusing film filled with little chuckles and a sense that you didn't completely waste your money.  Sure, you won't remember most of the jokes five minutes after it's over, but for a little over 100 minutes there's a brief interlude of cutesy sugar that tastes pretty all right, even if you know it's not good for you.  GRADE: B

Currently watching : Extras - The Complete Second Season Release date: 10 July, 2007

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7:54 PM - Andys brief movie reviews - return of the sheriff

Chris Cooper, and actor who had spent years in smaller roles of lesser films finally got some due recognition with his Oscar winning work in Adaptation, that loopy Charlie Kaufman scripted film that continues to unpeel layers the more you watch it.  Since then he hasn't had a really meaty role to sink his teeth into until this year's spy thriller Breach, in which Cooper plays Robert Hansen, the federal agent responsible for the greatest security breach in U.S. history.

In the film, Cooper does a hundred small things with his face and at the same time seemingly nothing at all.  In the hands of a lesser actor, there would have been much posing and shouting, but Cooper, with his hangdog eyes, taps into the deep recesses of Hansen's personality (to its credit, the film never gives us the "why" for Hansen's actions).

Unfortunately, the film can't keep up when we're left with Ryan Phillippe.  And since he's the man who is key in helping the FBI bring Hansen down, we're left scratching our heads a bit in disbelief that his Eric O'Neill could have fooled Hansen.  This is a role someone like Jake Gyllenhaal could've done with his eyes closed.  Fortunately, when he's not with Cooper, he's supported by a sharp performance by Laura Linney as Kate Burroughs.  There are also some truly uneasy moments as Hansen begins to slip himself into O'Neill's personal life.

Since we know Hansen eventually gets caught, it's surprising that the tense scenes work as well as they do.  There's a sharp script and assured direction by Billy Ray (Shattered Glass), and aside from a few hiccups, the film keeps a brisk pace with a killer final shot of a physically and emotionally drained Hansen.  Without Cooper, this would be just another "thriller" you would see over and over again every weekend on TNT.  GRADE: B+

Currently listening : We Are the Night By The Chemical Brothers Release date: 17 July, 2007

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8:47 AM - Andys brief movie reviews - eat em up, eat em up

Chances are you missed the killer crocodile flick Primeval when it was out in theaters this past January.  Actually, the studio was selling it as a serial killer movie, which makes little sense since, uh, it's a crocodile, and even lesser sense because the croc isn't in much of the movie.  In fact, the croc is almost left as a subplot.  Confused?  Let me explain.

A reporter, producer, and cameraman are sent to Burundi after a white female journalist is seemingly ripped to pieces while covering a story on mass graves in Africa.  Evidentally, there's a giant man-eating croc name Gustave that roams the waters.  It's a bit of a culture shock when our three heroes arrive in Africa and absorb some of the injustices dealt out to its citizens.

Surprisingly, the movie works better when dealing with this than when Gustave shows up.  His scenes are rushed and not too terribly scary - it doesn't help that the crocodile himself is a bad CGI creature.

And even though it gets a little preachy and heavy-handed (after all, this is supposed to be a schlocky horror flick), I appreciate that the filmmakers tried to make Primeval something more than the umpteenth Jaws rip off, and I wish they would've done more with it.  There's another movie here and it's unfortunate that a giant crocodile had to get in the way.  GRADE: C+

Currently watching : 13 Tzameti Release date: 13 February, 2007

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8:49 AM - Andys brief movie reviews - (insert witty quip here)

There's a reason why the horror genre is in a rut when cinema filler like Dead Silence is released on video with an "unrated" edition and features about as much gore as that scene in Meet the Parents where Pam's sister gets hit in the face with the volleyball.  When you see a horror movie, especially one with the evil doll gimmick, you expect a certain level of gore, but Silence goes the route of the extreme zoom at the impending victim's open mouth as she screams without showing any of the slashing.

Now, I realize that me wanting to see some violence probably isn't the greatest indicator of character.  Still, I knew going into this movie (not film) that it probably wasn't going to be terribly good, but I couldn't think of anything else to put in my Netflix queue, and since it was released this year I knew I could give it a review.  So if you think about it, I actually moved this movie up my queue list for you, good readers.

But Dead Silence, like so many other horror films of the new millenium, substitutes low rumbling ambience, washed out color schemes (except for red, of course), and characters looking down dark corridors…and looking…and looking…and looking, for any sort of real dread.  By the time you get to the twist ending (of course, there's a twist ending), you're amused for a couple of seconds before you realize it doesn't make any real sense.  Then you remember the two guys who brought you this movie also made Saw, the clever film that practically kickstarted the grotesque torture genre of late.

So if you're looking for a little blood and some evil dolls this Friday the thirteenth, go out and rent the campy cult flick Puppet Master instead.  Or I'm sure you can watch a smattering of early 80's horror flicks on American Movie Classics tonight, which is always good for a cheap laugh.  Grade: C-

Currently listening : The Magic Numbers By The Magic Numbers Release date: 04 October, 2005

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9:15 AM - Andy's brief movie reviews - "O Nicolas, Where Art Thou?"

Nicolas Cage, who a mere five years ago was nominated for an Oscar for his great work in Adaptation, is something of a bipolar actor.  He gives performances that remind you why he received his Best Actor statuette for Leaving Las Vegas, but then he decides to be in crap like the recent Ghost Rider, providing a performance so phoned in, he should teach a class.

In the "film" Cage plays Johnny Blaze, a bike-riding daredevil who, many years ago, made a Faustian deal with the devil (Peter Fonda) in order to save his father from cancer.  After being healed, papa Blaze dies in one of those ambiguous accidents where you hear the crowd scream in horror, but don't actually see anything.  The irony is presented as some fantastic cinematic trick.

But let's not get bogged down in plot because the movie certainly doesn't.  Cage looks as if he could fall asleep at any moment, peppering in an eyebrow raise or two just to keep you guessing.  Is it me, or is he becoming more like Adam Sandler with every performance?

Writer/director Mark Steven Johnson, who also gave us the Ben Affleck low point Daredevil, tries to fill plot holes with special effects (and MORE SPECIAL EFFECTS!).  There are scenes that build and go absolutely nowhere, and dialogue that's bad even by the standards of an awful comic book adaptation.  It sure doesn't help that the son of the devil (Wes Bentley, still trying to gleam off of American Beauty) is about as threatening as Dakota Fanning.  And if you can't figure out how he's going to get dispatched at the end thirty minutes before it happens, then you haven't seen enough bad superhero movies, which might not be such a bad thing.

My heart isn't even in it enough to make some sort of highbrow rag against the film because the it doesn't aim for anything more than what appears onscreen.

So, do we keep giving Cage more chances to do the action movie thing?  Is there nothing Marvel won't sell off?  And are we to the point where even the idea of a Hollywood cliché - the high concept, no plot, special effects laden action flick - has become a cliché itself?  No matter.  I'm sure there will plenty of other movies that will test your mettle.  Grade: C-

Currently watching : Fast Food Nation Release date: 06 March, 2007

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9:50 AM - Andy's brief movie reviews - half way through summer edition

In the opening sequence of the new Transformers movie, there's a helicopter that attacks a U.S. military outpost in Qatar.  As soldiers fire every single bullet they have, not even making a dent, the giant mechanical beast drops his fist to the ground, creating a sort of sonic boom of destruction that blows out windows and flips over tanks.  I caught myself saying "Whoa, cool" at this little flourish, which surprised me because I sure wasn't expecting anything from director Michael Bay to connect with the seven year-old inside of me much like the original Transformers did, lo' those many years ago.  And for the first hour of the film's nearly two and a half hour running time you're relatively engaged in what's going on.  Make no mistake, though, you're not watching a good movie, but it's decent enough that it keeps moving along at a decent clip, so you hardly care that it isn't great.

Then our hero Sam (Shia LaBeouf, who literally carries that first hour of the film on his shoulders) actually begins conversing with the good guy Autobots, and the movie quickly divebombs.  Optimus Prime tells Sam of the Autobots' home planet, how their battle with the evil Decepticons sucked the energy right out of it, and how the All Spark - a giant cube, looking much like that box from the Hellraiser films - contains enough energy for the Autobots to rebuild their planet, or for the Decepticons to change every mechanical thing on earth into a weapon of evil to enslave the human race.  For those who watched the animated TV series, think of the All Spark as one giant energon cube.  Then there's something about Sam's great-grandfather getting the Transformers' language code (or something) embedded into his glasses, which Sam just happens to have at his house.  For some reason, these glasses hold the key to everything the paper-thin plot hangs on.

The movie quickly falls into a hokey sitcommy mess.  Sam must find the glasses in his room while his parents are banging on the door and the Autobots hide in trees and behind garages so as not to be found.  Mom even cracks a non-sequitor about self-gratification.  Then John Turturro shows up (either doing a favor for someone or cashing a huge paycheck) as your standard nutjob government agent, complete with "hilarious" Superman-esque emblem on his white tank top.  It's all very processed in the same manner that pretty much every Michael Bay film is.  Megan Fox plays Sam's high school love interest, with a perfectly toned middriff that is on constant display.

So you'd think that a big action sequence at the end could save this film.  Well, Bay manages to mess that up as well.  Rather than let the action unfold, the camera whizzes around the battling robots at every possible angle, never allowing us to fix on anything.  It's nearly impossible to figure out who's who and what they're doing to each other; it's just a twirling ball of metal.  In the end, Transformers plays much like giant trash heap - you may find a few pieces of treasure deep in the rubble, but you're still looking through garbage.  Grade: C-

P.S., Isn't it about time that Michael Bay isn't allowed to make these bombastic, "high concept" summer action films?  I know Transformers made $27.4 million in it's first day - of which I'm ashamed that I contributed $9.50 - but if this movie tanks in its second and third weeks, that'll be two busts in a row.

Currently watching : If... (Criterion Collection) Release date: 19 June, 2007

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8:56 AM - Andy's brief movie reviews - Yippee-ki-yay, "my friend"

It's been nearly twenty years since Bruce Willis donned the white tank top and battled Hans Gruber and his assorted henchmen in the Nakatomi Tower and times have certainly changed since, but the new Live Free or Die Hard, and actioner that harkens back to the summers of the early 90's when you couldn't go from May to August without a Schwarzenagger flick, before the advent, and eventual saturation, of CGI effectively ruined the spectacle of good ol' fashioned stuntwork.  Indeed, if it were done today, the chariot race in "Ben Hur" would have wagons flipping twelve times in slo-mo, the centurians snapping at Charleton Heston with two whips in his hands.  But "Live Free" opts for spectacular stunts rather than overabundant effects - the effects are scaled back and virtually seamless.  It's surprising since director Len Wisemen seemed so eager to use crappy CGI in his two "Underworld" flicks.  It's not a "Die Hard" in the traditional sense, much like the third installment wasn't.  Instead of the claustraphobic anxiety of the first two films, "Live Free" actually travels across state lines.  What's so much fun is the reckless abandon the film attacks the action.  Everything is overblown, everything is excessive, but it's all so engaging that it doesn't matter.  The quick banter between Willis and Justin Long (the Mac guy) swings easily and Timothy Olyphant (while no Alan Rickman) slathers a smirk and some witty one-uppers as the baddie.  If you watching McClane jump from an out of control jet onto a collapsing freeway, sliding down to safety as said jet explodes above him is too unbelieveable for you to take, then this probably isn't for you.  But it's like bumping into a friend you haven't seen in years and remembering why you liked him in the first place.  Grade: B

Aside from 1994's "The Shawshank Redemption," the early 90's adaptations of Stephen King stories seemed like a reason to cash in on the author's immense popularity rather than make an absorbing film ("Shawshank" still holds up and remains a prime exception to the rule).  Think of "Needful Things," "The Dark Half," "The Night Flier," or better yet, don't.  If King had written an article in Cosmo about the latest in eyeliner it would've gotten made into a movie.  The new thriller 1408 brings us back to the King films that worked.  At least, it kind of does.  When Mike Enslin (John Cusack) checks into the Dolphin Hotel, he's there to dispell any myths about room 1408, which hotel manager Gerald Olin (an enjoyably slick Samuel L. Jackson) credits for the deaths of everyone who walks into it.  His explanation to Enslin is that "it's an evil f---ing room."  The film delivers more chills than outright "BOO!!!" moments, and artfully captures impending dread as everything around Enslin begins to crumble.  Unfortunately, the film can't keep it up for the duration.  It's better when Enslin tries telling himself that it's all a hoax and the room ups the ante with convincing him it isn't.  I would've liked to see more of Cusack and Jackson together because their scenes together crackle like two actors having a ball in what feels like a subpar film - Jackson is basically relegated to a glorified cameo.  But when the film is working, it plays as one of the better King adaptations and not something you walk out of saying "The book was sooooooo much better."  Grade: B

Currently watching : Robot Chicken, Season 1 Release date: 28 March, 2006

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11:30 AM - Bloggy blog blog blog *lame*

Is anybody else having trouble viewing their blogs?  Am I a lame-o for asking you about your blog?  Is there a weirder, more infuriating word in this world than blog?

Currently reading : Prince Caspian (Narnia) By C. S. Lewis Release date: 08 July, 1994

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