Buy Me Things!
Category: Parties and Nightlife

As many of you now know, I'm moving back to Brooklyn permanently.



July 19th is my Birthday and I'm turning 30. I will be having a b-day bash somewhere but Ill post about that later when I know more.



Soooooo, since this is a year for starting over/new, there are a lot of things that I now need (I only got a few things in our separation agreement), and I need to be spoiled with things I want to help me forget that Im leaving behind my 20's and entering the world of 30. (30 is the new 20 baby!)


Having said all of that, here is my amazon.com wishlist


you can ship things to you, or to me, or if you can find the same thing somewhere else for cheaper, by all means buy it there.



I don't have a job yet and I havent started receiving child support or anything yet, so every little bit helps!

12:29 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Debra’s Amazing Alarm Clock (or "The Time is in the air"

ok I have to blog this because it's too friggin funny to let it go and allow it to fade.

So here is the deal, Debra has this alarm clock which is supposed to somehow sync itself to the atomic clock and set itself-which it does, except it refuses to acknowledge daylight savings, so for haf the year it is an hour ahead.

At some point Debra is drunk and has another drunk girl over her place (go figure) and she is trying to explain to her why the clock is still an hour ahead, and why she cant correct the time...unfortunately it comes out like this:

 i think my exact words were something like this: "oh, yeah, so the clock sets itself using the air...no, you know, like the time is in the air so you turn the clock and the clock knows what time it is automatically because the time is in the air... (i start getting frustrated)... no, it's like science, i mean, i can't explain it but the time is in the air on these like, you know, like in the air and the clock knows that but i guess the air didn't tell the clock about daylight savings time... (now i'm really frustrated)... no, i mean, no it's not complicated it's just i can't explain it because i'm drunk, but the time IS IN THE AIR... yes, i'm feeling ok... stop looking at me like that... no, there's a manual someplace but i don't know where because the clock is just supposed to know what time it is...fuck you."

Probably the funniest thing about this whole episode is that Debra and I are drunk while she is trying to explain this to me and I am nearly pissing myself listening to her explain her amazing alarm clock...she turns to me and says "do you get it Ang?" and I totally do...the time is in the air. and it talks to the clock..what is there not to get? and she's all "thank you very much....see I always knew you were my only smart friend"

I love her.

11:47 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

True New Yorkers (yet again)

THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." IF YOU'RE REALLY FROM NEW YORK YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF WHERE NORTH AND SOUTH ARE...  AND EAST OR WEST IS "CROSS-TOWN."

YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.

YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.

(its a science)

YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.
(milk, 2 sugars)

3:44 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Brooklyn Friends VS Regular Friends

FRIENDS- vs -
BROOKLYN FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Never ask for food
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.

FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...we f***ed up...but that sh*t was fun!"
uh hem, Debra........

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Keep your sh*t so long they forget it's yours.

FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
hahaha ---Debra

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
Robyn :)

FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

Debra, Robyn, and just about everyone else I know.hahaha

FRIENDS: Are for a while.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Are for life.
...Deb, Robyn, John............

FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had
enough.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and
say, "B*tch, you better drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste!!" tru dat!
OK John

FRIENDS: Will talk sh*t to the person who talks sh*t about you.
BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Will knock them the f**k out!!

FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
ALL BROOKLYN FRIENDS: Will forward this

12:02 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Its all about the Brooklyn Baby

YOU MIGHT BE A BROOKLYNITE IF:

1. Your most overused adjective is "fuckin"- "eh, fuckin guy." _OMG, too much
2. Instead of crickets at night, you hear car horns, shouts, and police sirens._took me months to learn to fall asleep when I moved to Georgia. My brother had to buy me a sound machine for when I slep at this house in Jersey
3. You can curse in 10 languages, and you learned them all from various friends in public school. _you can't?
4. You speak like a mafioso even if you're not Italian.
5. You can never find "real pizza" and "real bagels" anywhere outside of Brooklyn. _Holy shit, tell me about it.
6. You like the Beastie Boys even if you hate rap. _how can you not love BB (first CD I bought myself was Licensed to Ill)
7. You ever got mugged and was proud of it.
8. You can instinctively feel the shift from one neighborhood to another. _oh yes
9. You know what a bodega is._of course
10. Your first beer was at the age of 10. _13, on the corner by casa bella with Pete, Anthony, Steve, Big Head and Christina....and it was OE, hahahahah
11. You know which blocks to avoid.
12. At least one person you know is in the Russian mob. hahahhahahah
13. You have ever been stuck on the Belt Parkway for 4 hours because some guy by Rockaway Pkwy plowed his Econovan into the side and the whole fucking highway stopped up. _2 months zago actually on my way home from LI
14. Your friend's parents teach you how to properly roll a joint. _no but my first join was stolen from a freinds dads stash
15. You refer to Manhattan as "the city." _what else would you call it?
16. Anyone who wears a Red Sox hat in your presence dies._I coukld care less
17. Your parents were too ghetto to take you to Six Flags so they put you on the Cyclone in Coney Island when you were a kid. _no but they woukd just let other people take me when they were going....
18. You hate tourists, yuppies, and white people even if you yourself are white.
19. The juiciest piece of gossip in HS was "who got jumped." JHS
20. Whenever you go outside of Brooklyn, being from BK gets you street cred. "have you ever been shot?"
21. Whenever you go to another country, you get laid because you're from Brooklyn.
22. Homeless people and prostitutes are entirely invisible to you. yes
23. You have ever gotten drunk as shit, passed out on the Q or F train in Manhattan, and woken up in Coney. Ive got drunk with WIll passed out on the F, woke up in CI, got on the F in the other direction and passed out again and woke up in Queens....
24. Your relatives that moved out of Brooklyn come back, and so does the accent._that would be me.,
25. Shit's fucked up, yo. heheheheehe
26. You over pronounce the "o" in "douche-bag." DOOOOOOOOSH BAG! OMG
27. Your friend's dog owns more bling than you do.
28. Your idea of a backyard is a Chia Pet.
29. You don't wanna know WHAT the fuck is going on upstate. hahahahahah
30. You are in your twenties and never bothered to get a driver's license. 19, moved to GA and I had to get one
31. You will beat the shit out of anyone who bashes your favorite sports team.
32. Brooklyn College is the most expensive lawn you've ever seen.
33. Kingsborough is referred to as "Harvard on the Bay."
34. You always know when cops are coming.
35. Each race/culture in your boro has a "territory."
36. Someone you know knew John Gotti.
37. Your friends all get the same tattoo, and don't consider themselves a gang.
38. Your first car was a piece of shit from the junkyard that got 2 miles to the gallon but looked like a battle tank. 79 Malibu, black
39. You've been arrested, you smoke, drink, and fuck like nobody's business, but your grandma still thinks you're a "nice boy."

AND FINALLY

40. You can take the girl outta Brooklyn, but you can't take Brooklyn outta the girl!  The truest testament to this, and my friends will back me up on this is my Bensonhurst nails...3 inches long, covered in obnoxious designs and thick as all get out....but you know you LOVE IT!!!

11:51 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

A lesson in Gravity (AKA Brianna’s Broken Collar Bone) Now With Pics!

On Tuesday evening Brianna fell out of a tree and broke her clavicle. (collar bone)  She is doing fine and not in much pain, but the bone is not setting properly and so she has to have surgery tomorrow morning to set the boneSo far she is doing fine...will update this after the surgery tomorrow.

---------------------

Here is the full story:

Tuesday October 2 at roughly 6pm, Brianna was playing out side with the rest of the neighborhood kids, when she misjudged the weight capacity of a branch of this tree:

She fell out of the tree and landed on her back.  Although her arm/shoulder was hurting, she wasn't too badly hurt because she was still able to get up, get her bike, put it away in the back yard and walk up the stairs to the front of the house where she let herself in throguh the front door.  When I heard her sniffling I asked what was wrong and she said that she fell from the tree and broke her arm. 

I checked her arm, and aside from a little swelling and pain there seemed to be nothing wrong.  She was able to move her fingers and hand and lift her arm up and down a little.   We put some ice on it, but after we ate dinner when it didnt seem to improve and the swelling was getting worse I decided to take her to the Boeblingen ER, where they took this xray and discovered a broken clavicle (collar bone):

They put her in a sling and sent us home to return to the Sindelfingen Hospital on Wednesday, where they put her in another sling in hopes that it would force the bone back into place.  We returned on Thursday for another xray but unfortunately the bone was not setting properly and so she was scheduled for surgery on friday morning.

Here she is waiting to go off to surgery:

And here she is right after she got out of recovery... Unfortunately she came out of surgery in a lot of pain and they had to really dope her up.

Here she is with the balloons From Mommy, Daddy, Michelle.... (thanks Michelle):

Here she is feeling better and eating.

Mommy and Bree:

Daddy and Bree:

ugh.

Going home on saturday afternoon. 

5:42 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

God damn this vibrator.

Ok so here is the story, exactly as it has happened.  I have neither changed, enhanced or omitted anything.

Last Wednesday night as I was getting ready to go out with Debra, I decided to take a little "me time" break in the bath tub.
I brought my little egg vibrator.  It's a small egg shaped vibrator attached to a remote control by a wire. Its hot pink and it's waterproof  :).

When I got out of the tub I left it on the ledge of the outside of the tub and forgot it there. 

The next day when I woke up in the afternoon and remembered that I had left it out I ran to the bathroom only to find that it was not there.

Which means one of two things :

1. It got up and walked off on its own    or
2. My dad found it and took it.

I'm gonig with 2 on this one since 1 is not nearly embarrasing enough.

After 2 days of avoiding eye contact with my father and searching desperately around the house for my egg I finally found it in the closet of my bedroom, on a shelf with all my other toiletries.
So again we have two options:

1. It got up and walked in to the bedroom to put itself away, avoiding having my father make an embarrasing discovery    or
2. After discovering the vibe in the bath tub my dad put it away for me.

again, 1 is not nearly embarrasing enough so I'm guessing option 2 again.

Fortunately my dad said nothing to me about the misplaced sex toy for the remainder of my trrip, and of course I now think Im in the clear....

But if you know me well enough, you know that this is not the case.

I can't find it.  I was absolutely certain that I put it in the front pocket of my luggage, and I even got an interesting stare from the x ray tech when my bags went through....but it's not here now... which once again gives me 2 more options:

1.  I left it at Eddie and Liz's apt.(where I spent the night during my layover)
2. The airport x ray guys took it.

I don't know which option I prefer here...at least with the x ray guys I will probably never see them again.. But if I left it at Eddie and Liz's apt I'm hoping that they find it and send it back to me, and not keep it as a fun toy for their cats.

What the fuck is with me and my apparent lack of accountability for my vibrators ?!?!?!?

Maybe I need to get one with a little wrist leash like on a surf board.

3:26 AM - 11 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

going home...or at least trying

ok folks. im done here. i am flying out to Seattle tomorrow afternoon where i will go to McChord airforce base to wait for a flight back to Germany.  hopefully it wont take too long cause i am missing Will and Germany bad.

If I got to hang out with you then great, and if not, hopefully we will get to see each other next time Im here.  I am really going to try to fly in as often as possible because I really want to get to see my dad as much as much as I can.

big thanks to debra, robyn, jerry, john, liz and adelina who kept me having fun and kept me from going completely crazy. So glad I got to hang out with all of you as much as we did. (aside from robyn  who i only got to see a few times because she is an old lady and always stays home---except for that one night she got all slutted up for me)

ok well its really late and i need to get up early and finish packing.

hugs and kisses, see you soon...

-ang

*UPDATE*

wow, I cant believe i got a flight already. I got into SeaTac at 9:30 last night and there is a direct flight to Germany this afternoon.  How luky can you get.  Cant wait to get home and sleep in my own bed.

12:15 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

09-0-07: no more white pants

or any other white clothes or accessories.

this Monday, Labor Day signifies the official end of the summer, which in the fashion world also signifies the last day that you are allowed to wear white pants.

Now it is ok to wear white or light colored shirts as long as its part of an outfit... however, it is completely against the laws of known fashion to wear white, pastels and light colored floral prints in pants, shows and other accessories.

THESE ARE SUMMER COLORS PEOPLE, It is now time to bring out your favorite fall and winter colors and forego the white pants, purses and shoes til  NEXT SUMER.

This fashion faux pas phenomenon seems to be particularly popular in Germany where they wear white pants all year round. WHITE IS A SUMMER COLOR  PEOPLE reserved in the winter months only for  SNOW.

1:40 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Watermelon eating contest.

my kid won her first watermelon  eating contest today. There were no other kids in her age group so she went upagainst a 9 and 11 year old .... by a landslide...and to add insult to injury--- my pasty white kid beat out two blac kids.

I knew she could eat some watermelon, but I am actually shocked at how much and how fast she did it.

add this to my cousin Pete the strong man competitor who bends frying pans and rips phone books in half and you can see that I have a gene in my family for obscure talents....

my only regret was that we were late getting out of the house and i forgot to bring my video camera....arug,

now that we have discovered this talent, we will start training for the hot dog eating contest next year...anyone wanna go to nathans?

3:59 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment