Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 58
Sign: Scorpio
City: Ciudad De Los Ángeles Perdidos
Signup Date:
08/13/06
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Blog Archive
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October 7, 2008 - Tuesday
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Hayseed Yuks And Stolen Bucks
Open up the window I need to breathe My lungs seared From TV stench That mocks intelligence And denies existence Of common sense Replaced by common scents Radiating outward From the fecundity Of mutual dreams In Cape Cod yachts That drip from liars lips You can't con a con And you can't shuck this shucker Who just chucked a brick Into your insincere TV appearance On Beat The Nation Where over confident hosts Check their guests drawers For shit stains As the new model In truth detection Their Sunday guests Psychopathic liar politicians Crush lie detector speak While psychic Johnny Apple Seeds Confirmed by Snopes Acting as truth consultant to the Stars On the new reality series Celebrity Divorce Proclaim to the nation Yuk yuk golly gee! Sounds ahhhright to me! And America says well ahhhright! As 7 million hands In unseen unison Farting a sigh of relief Switch to channel 666 To watch the new show Freeway USA NASCAR Stars Dancing With The Cars
7:01 AM
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2 Comments - 2 Kudos
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October 6, 2008 - Monday
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Promethean Dreams
Lost in the gaze of tar pit eyes Laying quietly beneath the smooth water of your continence The thirst for love forcing them to blunder forth recklessly Only to be trapped and pulled down to their doom As rebound predators thinking you mourn their loss jump on their backs Baring the teeth of their come-ons Destined to become just another victim Caught in your sticky trap, roaring wildly for naught As they too are consumed by the blackness of your selfish desire But having fed, you have no need to move on The eternity of your cruelty needs no new territory to conquer Alas, unbeknownst to you, there is a price you too will pay Your capacity to feel, desensitized by the coldness of your cruelty Leaves you unable to experience true love And you whither away and die Your mind consumed by the same blackness you once used To capture your unwary prey, making you wondering for eternity What has happened, as you sit quietly contemplating this cruel twist That fills your Promethean dreams with the epiphany of your own fate To wake each morning to the renewed knowledge of being forever alone.
7:01 AM
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October 5, 2008 - Sunday
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Tasks For A New Morning
A spirit came to me last night. An orb of the most brilliant white light surrounded by a glowing mist that cast no shadows. The room filled with the scent of Night Blooming Jasmine. It emitted a sound, a hum almost like a chant of the purest sound.
As I sat up in the bed, it began to pulse and sing in a tongue unknown to me, and a voice so pure it covered me with goose bumps and caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand.
Who are you spirit?
I am love.
This cannot be, I whispered. For love is dead.
I cannot die, it said, for my song is eternal.
Eternal to some maybe, but love abandoned me long ago.
No, twas you who abandoned me, forsaking my joy and the love of living.
And what could I have done differently? I sought love out for many years finding it nowhere.
No you sought someone to love you. Love is not found but returned after it has been given.
Well it is too late now. I am old and withered. My heart is cold. Why do you come to me now with this?
Your mind is cold. The fire in the heart, like my song, is eternal. You do nothing but sit in this house. Do you think your desire will come knocking?
And what would you have me do, for there must be some purpose that you have come to me.
I would have you to take my song into your heart. To go out once more and sit on the sea shore and marvel at the sunset. To stop for a moment and bend to smell the rose. To lay on the lawn in the cool shade and feel the softness of the new grass. To live. I've come to bring you life. To show you how to stop just being alive and to start living again. Close your eyes and see the visions in my song and they will guide you back.
I closed my eyes, laid back on the pillow, and listened as she sweetly sang for what seemed like hours, as even forgotten memories of past loves flooded my mind.
I opened my eyes and it was morning. Cool and crisp. I noticed my vision seemed to be sharper for whatever reason, as I sat on the edge of the bed thinking about this strange dream I had had. The cat was rolling on the floor swatting and playing with some new found object of amusement. She did one of those straight up in the air leaps and I started to laugh. Tootsie, what the fuck are you playing with I laughed. I reached down and picked it up. It was a sprig of Night Blooming Jasmine.
I think I'll go out and smell some roses today.
6:46 PM
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3 Comments - 6 Kudos
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The Adventures Of Dick Whipped In The Depression Dimension
The Adventures Of Dick Whipped In The Depression Dimension. An allegorical look at modern day living in the 21st Century.
Whoa! This place is fuckin' with my mind!
The Adventures Of Dick Whipped In The Depression Dimension. Part 2. An allegorical look at modern day living in the 21st Century after extensive psychotherapy.
Whoa! This place is fuckin' with my mind!
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6:11 AM
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2 Comments - 2 Kudos
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September 24, 2008 - Wednesday
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Hep C...Can It Really Be Gone?
Ya, so anyway, back in 1992 I was diagnosed with Hep C. I spent 10 years waging an all out war emotionally and physically with it. In the end as in 2002 I got my first no detectable viral levels lab report.
My doctor Karen Lindsay is one of the top Hep C researchers in the country. I went back to the clinic today after 6 years, for some blood they wanted for a follow up on the people who responded and cleared the virus as it's called. While we were talking she made the comment about now that it's gone...and I cut her off and said ya but it's never really gone right? It's like hiding in some corner of my liver waiting to pounce back out. Right? And she said that people like me who respond, if they aren't showing any recurrence after 1 or 2 years, then it's gone, dead, finito, poof, KICKED YOUR ASS BITCH! WOOT! So I guess I can break out of this perpetual funk and start enjoying myself again. She said they are still doing studies with different drugs to find something that works well. In the Halt C study I was in they had far less responders than they thought they would. It was a nationwide study, but only 25 of us cleared here in the Los Angeles group. I guess I'm a lucky dog.
But hey you know what? I went through the meds 3 different times but never gave up. So you shouldn't either. There's life after Hep C. Trust me I know! Oh ya, did I mention the cirrhosis is gone and the fibrosis in the liver is disappearing too? SWEET! Now if I can just do the same with this damn back of mine.
9:40 AM
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9 Comments - 14 Kudos
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September 23, 2008 - Tuesday
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The Rancher and Wolf Make A Deal
Once upon a time there was a fox named Fox who really really liked eggs. So one day Fox went to the rancher and said "I was thinking that since you waste a lot of time guarding your hen house from foxes, maybe we could work something out to ease your work load. I'll guard your hen house for say 8 eggs a week. And I'll stash a few eggs once in a while so that if your hens get sick, I can still get you and your wife some eggs for breakfast. And we both know how much your wife loves her eggs in the morning."
Now the rancher, who thought he was a pretty intelligent man thought long and hard on this offer and finally said to himself "Well 8 eggs a week isn't such a bad idea. And since Fox knows how foxes think, he may just have a brilliant idea here." So the rancher agreed and they entered into a contract. They lived and co-existed peacefully for many years.
One day the rancher was out on his land and was approached by Wolf. Wolf said to the rancher "I hear you have Fox guarding your hen house. Is this true?"
The rancher said "Why yes, and it's a good arrangement."
This sent Wolf into a fit of laughter. He was laughing so hard, he fell on the ground rolled over and laughed and laughed till he had tears in his eye. The rancher wasn't amused and said "and what's so damned funny?"
Wolf composed himself and stood back up on all fours and looked the rancher right in the eye and said "and just who is going to guard the hen house from Coyote?"
The rancher was taken aback by this question. He had never even considered the possibility of Coyote in his hen house. He said to Wolf "I never thought of that. What should I do?"
Wolf of course said "well you can give me the job. And I'll only charge you 10 eggs a week. But that's because it's more work to guard against Coyote! And I'll bring you extra customers!"
Well extra customers was all the rancher needed to hear as those damn hippie vegans had been hurting his beef business, so they agreed and entered into a contract. Now Wolf went around to some markets and said "if you buy the ranchers eggs, I'll give you an extra dozen a week. Just tell the rancher what a good job you think I'm doing." Well of course the store owners were delighted and told other store owners and the ranchers egg business grew and grew. But he couldn't figure out why he wasn't selling as many eggs as his hens should have been hatching.
He went to Wolf and asked him if he had any thoughts on the matter. Wolf said "well I think it's the fear thing. The chickens are afraid we are going to get bombed by another rancher, especially that foreign guy down the road who owns the small ranch and secretly wants yours. The hens know about that because I told them about it one day, and I'm afraid I stressed them out." He didn't tell the rancher that he was having a hen for dinner once in a while. Sort of a job perk he felt he was entitled to
"Oh" said the rancher, "well what can we do. Everyone is afraid nowadays"
Then one day the rancher went down to the hen house. As he got closer he suddenly realized how quiet it was. And of course it was quiet because Wolf had gotten carried away with himself and ate all the farmers hens, just like Wolves like to do. The farmer went inside and there was Wolf sitting on a bail of hay picking his teeth with a chicken bone. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" said the rancher.
Oh my friend it's a sad day for the egg business I'm afraid. That foreign rancher down the street came by and told the hens about global warming. They got so scared, and then when he told them he had air conditioning in his hen house, they all packed up and went with him. Now it seems you have no choice. You are going to have to give me $700 Billion to buy new hens. Oh ya, and I'm gonna need a raise to say 20 eggs a week? It's a lot tougher guarding against Coyote than I thought." Wolf looked at the rancher with an evil eye and a drool coming out of the corner of his mouth, and smiled like Wolves do, with sun shining off their fangs as they look at their next meal.
The End
And the moral of this story? If you are a rancher you can eat shit and die cause you're either gonna be broke and loose your ranch, or blame it on the foreigner down the street. Either way Wolf is gonna get his raise or a meal.
Postscript: Wolf made so much money off the deal, he moved to Alaska to hunt Caribou, where he got shot from an airplane by the lady governor.
And the moral of the postscript? In a battle between a wolf and a bitch, the bitch is gonna win every time. Just start hangin' out in singles bars if you don't believe me.
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8:17 AM
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5 Comments - 10 Kudos
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September 14, 2008 - Sunday
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YOWZA MAMMY! US DARKIES DUN LUVS DEM WAFFLES!
Current mood: I wanna jus goes n pukes massa!
You know even I didn't think they could stoop that low. Obama Waffle Mix being sold at the "Values" Voters Summit this weekend sponsored by the Family Research Council, where among others Newt Gingrich spoke (you remember him, the guy trying to impeach Clinton while having an affair of his own at the same time). I got to wonder just what kind of values these sick fucks have. Actually I kinda already figured that one out on my own. And what in the hell is that shit growing out the bottom of his ears supposed to be? That's it. I'm gonna start selling Palin Alaskan Pig Lips including a free tube of lip stick with every purchase. Somebody get me a sponsor!
 This just in: Palin went to Iraq. No wait. She didn't. Whoops! Yes she did! McCain has really got to get Palins people together on this story. It's changed 3 times now where in Iraq she went, when she went, and why she went. This one just popped out at the AP news wire 2 hours ago.
"Palin made a well-documented trip to Kuwait and Germany last year to visit U.S. troops, and over time, the governor and her staff have revealed she also visited Canada and Mexico. Meanwhile, her aides clarified that a purported visit to Ireland was little more than a refueling stop during her trip to the Middle East. On Saturday, a Palin aide told The Associated Press the governor also traveled one-quarter mile into Iraq during her July 2007 trip to participate in a re-enlistment ceremony for a member of the Alaska National Guard. Palin did not mention the excursion when asked about her foreign travels last week during a two-part ABC News interview because the bulk of her trip was elsewhere, said spokeswoman Tracey Schmitt. That answer appears to contradict one provided to The Boston Globe, which reported Saturday that McCain-Palin aides had twice revised their description of Palin's visit to Iraq. The newspaper said unnamed aides initially explained that Palin had visited a "military outpost" inside Iraq. The Globe said campaign aides and members of the Alaska National Guard subsequently explained that she did not venture beyond the Iraq/Kuwait border when she visited the Khabari Alawazem Crossing on July 25, 2007. Lt. Col. Dave Osborn, commander of the 3d Battalion, 207th Infantry of the Alaska National Guard, who was in charge of the 570 local troops serving in Kuwait and Iraq, said Palin did not cross in Iraq. "You have to have permission to go into a lot of areas, and (the crossing) is where her permissions were," Osborn told the newspaper during a telephone interview Friday. But Schmitt said Palin was accompanied by a Pentagon general who oversees National Guard matters. "According to the general who traveled with her, while she was there she presided over a re-enlistment ceremony of an Alaskan National Guard soldier," the spokeswoman said." Source
IN ACCORDANCE WITH TITLE 17 U.S.C. SECTION 107, THIS MATERIAL IS DISTRIBUTED WITHOUT PROFIT TO THOSE WHO HAVE EXPRESSED A PRIOR INTEREST IN RECEIVING THE INCLUDED INFORMATION FOR RESEARCH AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. angryhippy HAS NO AFFILIATION WHATSOEVER WITH THE ORIGINATOR OF THIS ARTICLE NOR IS angryhippy ENDORSED OR SPONSORED BY THE ORIGINATOR. "SOURCE" LINKS ARE PROVIDED AS A CONVENIENCE TO OUR READERS AND ALLOW FOR VERIFICATION OF AUTHENTICITY. HOWEVER, AS ORIGINATING PAGES ARE OFTEN UPDATED BY THEIR ORIGINATING HOST SITES, THE VERSIONS POSTED MAY NOT MATCH THE VERSIONS MY READERS VIEW WHEN CLICKING THE "SOURCE" LINKS.
5:12 AM
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6 Comments - 2 Kudos
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September 12, 2008 - Friday
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Seven Years On...
Mighty towers crumble Into dust and blood Taking down with them A nations innocence Splayed across glass screams And digital bites In pixilated obscurity Hidden in plain sight To cover conspiratorial whispers Shouted out and unheard As even soap operas fall victim To the spontaneity Of their blitzkrieg lies Breaking news soon replaced By breaking hearts
As mayors and Governors lie While first responders die The nation wonders why And families have to cry
False talk of safety The first harbinger of more to come As years would pass Our 9/11 heroes fallen ill Their pain unrecognized Or worse still ignored And berated as fakers Who risked death In unknown asbestos clouds Like agent orange heroes That came before them In another ugly war As money that heals Is squandered by heels In unfamiliar places Like Fallujah and Georgia
As a President continues the lie And a nation wonders why Heroes have to die And families have to cry
12:36 PM
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3 Comments - 2 Kudos
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September 11, 2008 - Thursday
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The Large Hadron Collider An angryhippy Prediction
1st An overview on past scientific experiment predictions:
They thought the first atomic bomb might create a chain reaction in the Van Allen radiation belt. The scientists were making bets on the size of the hole the first hydrogen bomb would leave on the island they tested it on. The smoke cleared and the island was gone! LOL They are still afraid to try a cobalt bomb. They think it might crack the planet. About colliders, cyclotrons, linear accelerators, atom smashers, or whatever they are calling them now. They were going to build a huge accelerator in Texas but canceled construction because of the possibility the fire ants would eat the wiring.
2nd The angryhippy prediction:
I have done some calculations and after conferring with a few of my fellow physicists, I have concluded that the results will be dire indeed. But not in a way anyone could have known. Here's the scenario as it will unfold if, god forbid I'm right!
I think they will create a thermal black hole (something nobody has discovered yet, but whose existence I postulated 20 or so years ago when this new collider was only 4). It will suck in all the global warming and leave the earth locked in a deep freeze. Bush will call it his friendly black hole initiative, and have a duel with Gore, who will also claim it was his idea, by playing SUV chicken with each other on the Champs Elysee in Paris. Bush will slip on the ice and crash into the Eiffel tower knocking it over and France will quit NATO in retaliation, and Vlad The Impaler Putin will seize his opportunity and nuke Luxembourg starting a nuclear war that will warm stuff up again. So you see...it's all good.
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Currently
listening
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An Accidental Collision of Atoms: The Best of Extreme
By
Extreme
Release date: 1997-12-17
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4:21 AM
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4 Comments - 4 Kudos
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September 6, 2008 - Saturday
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Chocolate Desires
The circumspect blind night watchman Caresses the color in your stagnant mind Waiting to broach the subject of your desire As you laugh at the mismatched shoes Covering his sock puppet hands The lack of worthiness in his eyes Not subject to your pity nor your respect Your dagger bitch eyes attempt to catch his gaze Behind Ray-Ban saucers amusement You move on in Jezebel style Fording the river of tears That just washed out your home Dreams stuffed in your backpack Of other places and other times Are shouting to passers by Who smell of gold and croissants And offer you two left hands For your broken packet watch That used to tell only good times And happy hours in tea rooms Frequented by blissless whores With their own backpacks Filled with drawings of their daddy Standing in front of 56 Fords Dressed in 55 T's and levis Blowing long past kisses To cumulus clouded minds Attempting circumspect circumcision Of cranial foreskins Long since fallen from use Collecting moneys for your 31 favors Attentive out of date routines And concrete emotions You smile at candid police cams That track your every creamy pleasure And chocolate desire
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6:15 PM
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3 Comments - 4 Kudos
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It’ll Be OK
Sitting in the park he wondered. "Why was I chosen for this blue label generic life? I know I'd be better if I hadn't got this one" He pondered his dilemma pausing only occasionally Thought interrupted by psychotic commercial breaks The vibrations coursing through his body He slipped into a purple colored haze Which enveloped him and each person around him Like some absurd cocoon "What's going on? Is this some stupid Jimi Hendrix dream?" he thought to himself He shook his head frantically trying to stop the colors And vibrations pounding ever stronger, ever louder
He focused intently till clarity returned And looked around. "how did I get on this bus?" He was crammed in with 100 other passenger pigeons The faces were all distorted laughing. He tried to erase them He searched his mind in vain for the numbers To open his combination lock memory His hand as if with a mind of it's own Slipped into his pocket and caressed the cold steel lover Who spoke without being spoken to And answered to no man He could feel his mind calming As he stroked the smooth cold barrel
The bus stop arrived like a bad dream unremembered The bench was surrounded by Daisy Cutter blossoms Who screamed out to the traffic passing by Challenging it to move more slowly. It's sound growing ever louder behind his closed eyes Until it felt his head would explode As the vibrations like waves crashed against his body Then everything became still as she appeared "She stands there on that corner and ignores me." he thought As he slowly moved closer her silent words screamed Profane blessings moving outward into the returning mist A green putrefied thickening fog That grabbed his throat as if to choke him And cut off his voice denying him He walked up to her and said hello.
"Do I know you?" she said Her words rang with irritation pulsing white hot It cut through the mist and pounded against his brow "No" he said, "and yes." then he began to beg her "Get out of my head. Please! Get out of my head!" Her brown eyes widened in fear as the blue steel Slipped easily out of his pocket and pointed at her She crouched on the ground her hands covering her As wisps of purple moved aside to reveal her face And the Daisy's danced in circles "Oh God no, please no!" she pleaded The vibrations grew ever stronger and stronger Till he could hardly stand against them He braced himself as if standing in a strong wind "Don't worry it will be OK" the words slipping out Without permission like the cold steel in his hand
A voice began to scream in his head That turned into a high pitched wail Then his body grew rigid every muscle tightening Locked in battle with his mind no longer answering As if another mind controlled them "I won't let them do this" he thought His focus narrowed to his elbow And as his mind strained it began to bend Slowly it bent, as he smiled Realizing he was finally in control his mind rushed A feeling of triumph he had never known That felt better than anything he could have imagined Multicolored rainbow circles enveloped and caressed his body As he bent and turned the arm slowly Till the blue steel barrel faced him "See I told you it would be OK!" He smiled at her beautiful face took a deep breath Stuck the barrel into his mouth And pulled the trigger.
6:56 AM
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2 Comments - 2 Kudos
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September 3, 2008 - Wednesday
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The Rule Of Five
Summer draws to a close and the annual "back to school" mayhem begins.When I take the bus to my sons on Fridays, I transfer buses at one stop that is literally on the beach. Being a surfer for life even though my back injury has ended my surfing days long ago, I still must walk out on the beach and check out the waves. That area is lousy for surfing but being just south of the stop, the Huntington Beach Pier is usually 3 to 4 feet bigger, so I can get a good indication as to the size. If the crap spot is 4 feet then chances are the pier is fduckin huge. The smaller size at this spot makes it a good spot to bring the kids. The last time I was there and walked down to the shore I noticed the beach was really trashy as in trash everywhere.
I used to have a rule when I took my son and a car load of his friends to the beach. I used to make them "pay" for the ride home. I used to call it "The Rule Of Five" I would stand by a trash can near where the van was parked, and the gang were each required to pick up 5 pieces of trash on the walk back to the car. I didn't care if it was a straw or a soda can. A cigarette box or cigarette butt. I only required that they had five separate items that they had to deposit in the trash can as I watched. My son and his friends are grown now. All in or near their twenties. But you know they still respect the beach. And they all remember the rule of five.
We parents all take our kids and their friends places like the beach, the park etc. It would be nice if all parents could have their own rule of five. I guarantee that the kids will think it stupid (or lame) at first, but trust me the message will linger. If everyone had a rule of five themselves, just think what we could do to make our world a nicer and cleaner place.
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Currently
listening
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Come Clean (Clean Version)
By
Puddle Of Mudd
Release date: 2001-08-28
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8:17 PM
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1 Comments - 4 Kudos
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Did You See That Shit? They Applauded!
I suppose in a democracy a responsible person, regardless of party should listen to both candidates before deciding on who to vote for. A careful comparison on their views, goals, and plans. When I wrote my first e-mail to George Bush what seems like so many years ago, I told him that if I had one consolation, in terms of his presidency it would be the knowledge that my grand children would learn in their history class that he was the worst president we ever had. Right behind the distinguished Chester A. Arthur. As the years went by, and my e-mails continued, my early analysis seemed to be a correct one as his popularity rating plummeted. And with that drop in his rating there was a comparative rise in my hatred to the extent that my last e-mail said that if he dropped dead tomorrow from a heart attack or better yet a brain aneurysm, I would gladly break my 9 years of sobriety to make a celebratory toast to his demise. I decided after that one that I better quit talking shit to him before the secret service started parking around the corner!
So anyway tonight on the news, right after the story on the new 90210 TV shows return, (they obviously have their priority straight) I saw George the Pusillanimous Purulent Pustule Prick Bush giving his speech to the Republican Convention from the White House (apparently not in person because he is said to be somewhat persona non grata as it relates to campaigning for the McCain Mutiny). And when he was done speaking a truly amazing thing happened. The crowd started applauding. Not as in a courtesy applause out of respect for him being the standing president a job he obviously has proven HE has little respect for. No this was wild enthusiastic applause. I'm not sure if it was staged, or possibly out of fear of retaliation by the fuhrer, but they were smiling and they were REALLY enthusiastic.
So I'm sorry readers but after all that, that's all I really wanted to say was about my state of shock at seeing these sycophants wildly cheering this man who has not almost but fully destroyed this country. And they applauded! Almost could be fixed with a change of leadership. But this country is broken. It is a piece of shit in the eyes of the world. As a result of this man. And they applauded! The decline of our military might has resulted in soldiers, veterans being sent back to those theocratic shit holes of Iraq and Afghanistan, after VA doctors had certified them as not being fit for deployment, sometimes on crutches and in slings. Yes it's true I shit you not. God forbid we square off with Russia, for our only response with any semblance of power would have to be nuclear. As a result of this man. And they applauded! The economy is shattered. As a result of this man! And they applauded! Having an injury or needing surgery can now cost you your home. As a result of this man. And they applauded! Owning a home is no longer part of the American dream. As a result of this man. And they applauded! No longer can we hope to have the right to be secure in our persons, houses, papers, and effects. To be safe from unreasonable searches and seizures. To be sure those rights shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. As a result of this man. And They Applauded! The constitution is shredded. As a result of this man. And They applauded! The American dream is in tatters. As a result of this man! AND THEY APPLAUDED! You and I are now thought of as torturers and murderers all over our planet. As a result of this man! AND THEY APPLAUDED!
And they applauded. Anyone who saw that and still votes for McCain will also be liable to be counted with those who applauded. If you are reading this and you applauded. If you are reading this and nodded your head in solidarity with those who applauded, I guess I should probably feel sorry for you. But I don't. I should probably say something clever like Oberman does. But I won't. I have no commonality with you. I consider you a sub-optimal human being. I consider you to be something baser than a Michael Vick dog fighter. Lesser than a crack ho. Lesser than a...oh hell lets just end this now. I hate your fuckin' guts! And that, in a way, is the saddest thing of all. As a result of this man.
Disclaimer: Me too! From The Ciudad De Los Ángeles Perdidos (City of Lost Angels) I'm:
Felonious Bystander Shining Example of Knowledge and Meaningful Minutia Radiant High Lord Of The Urban Wastelands Keeper of The Golden Scroll of Obscene Terminology Guardian of The Key To The Earth Mothers Crypt Proof Reader of The Laws Of Nature and Personal Assistant to angryhippy
5:28 AM
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8 Comments - 12 Kudos
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September 1, 2008 - Monday
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California Earthquakes vs. Gulf State Hurricanes
When I lived in Texas for a few years, I would get in heated discussions with the natives about living in Los Angeles. They used to say "I'd take a hurricane over an earthquake any day". This is the angryhippy response to just how fduckin stupid that statement and the people who said it, really are.
California Earthquakes vs. Gulf State Hurricanes
Day 1 Hurricane: You hear there is a tropical depression entering the Gulf, so you go to Kroger's for a free tracking map. Earthquake: You kick back and party.
Day2 Hurricane: You mark its location and track after getting current location coordinates from the news. Earthquake: You kick back and party.
Day 3 Hurricane: You check your stock of masking tape and batteries. You update your tracking map. Earthquake: You kick back and party.
Day 4 Hurricane: You go to the store and spend money on masking tape, candles, drinking water, flashlight/radio batteries and or plywood. The foreigner who owns the Circle Kaos store has doubled the price. You update your tracking map. Earthquake: You kick back and party.
Day 5 Hurricane: You put tape on your windows, and screw plywood over them. You fill as many pans that will fit in your freezer with water to use as ice so your food won't spoil. You clean the bathtub and fill it with water to drink. You update your tracking map. Earthquake: You kick back and party.
Day 6 Hurricane: You pack the car for a quick get away. You call to see if anyone is having a hurricane party. You update your tracking map. Earthquake: You kick back and party.
Day 7 Hurricane: The fduckin thing hung a left turn and heads for Brownsville. You unpack the car, remove the plywood, get out your scraper and start removing the tape from the windows, that by this time has fossilized into an unknown substance harder than diamond from sitting in that gulf sun. You burn your tracking map. Earthquake: You kick back and party.
Day 8 Hurricane: The hurricane has just run into a large Pacific storm that crossed Mexico into the Gulf. The thing has now turned and is headed back in your direction. You bust out a bottle of Bad Jack and say fuck it. Earthquake: There is a 6.3 on the Richter Scale. You are scared shitless for 9 seconds. You find your cats under the bed and try to calm them. There's no damage. You kick back and party
8:34 AM
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6 Comments - 6 Kudos
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August 31, 2008 - Sunday
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John McCain Made A Good Choice
Oh, hell. Lets see. Where to start? She is opposed to putting polar bears on the endangered species list. She's in favor of aerial hunting of wolves (that one alone would be enough for me to make up my mind that she's a scum bag). She's in favor of off shore drilling. She's a hunter and member of the NRA. She opposes a woman's right to choose. She lied in her first speech since the nomination about "The Bridge To Nowhere" She's being investigated in Alaska for using her official position to get her ex brother in law fired, and firing staff that wouldn't play along (gee that sounds familiar. Wasn't there another guy who does that?) And she opposes equal pay for equal work! Yada yada blah blah blah ad nauseum infinitum. What a prize this one is. Oh what the hell. She just needs to show a little leg to get all those horny old Democrat men up and out voting. I could go on listing her same as Bush Republican credentials. But the real reason I like McCains choice is he thinks Hillary's women are gonna vote for him because all they were concerned with is electing a woman regardless of her background or position on what needs to be done. How shallow a line of thought is that? He would have been better off choosing Condom Sleazy Rice than someone he only met once. But hey, at least she has a cool nickname. The Barracuda! LOL Wait, this just in! Her nickname has been changed to The Scaracuda! Wonder why?
Disclaimer: Now angry, that's not fair. I mean you would have gone for that back in the day wouldn't you? I mean you did have 3 ho's for roommates. What? The ho's weren't that sleazy looking? What do you mean by she looks like a ball buster? Oh, OK Never mind then. From The Ciudad De Los Ángeles Perdidos (City of Lost Angels) I'm:
Felonious Bystander Shining Example of Knowledge and Meaningful Minutia Radiant High Lord Of The Urban Wastelands Keeper of The Golden Scroll of Obscene Terminology Guardian of The Key To The Earth Mothers Crypt and Personal Assistant to angryhippy
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Currently
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:
Barracuda
By
Heart
Release date: 2005-09-26
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9:54 AM
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