losing my dad
Category: Life

This year has been really tough on me. I've been through alot for the short period of time i've been put on this earth, everything makes me stronger but sometimes I think it's making me too tough and i'm becoming so numb from all of this to the point where I feel like a zombie. As much as I keep trying to move forward I know there's going to be a light at the end of that tunnel..it reminds me of my favorite quote from the movie Cast Away, "I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring.." that quote alone brings a little warmth to my soul.

8:25 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Let me know if your trying to sell or buy a car

I can help you

4:30 PM - 17 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Cancer is in remission YaY
Current mood: accomplished

About a few months ago I went in for my radiation scan to check for any cancerous growths in my neck and the first scan showed an unclear mass about the size of a quarter so I sort of gave up hope thinking this annoying disease is never going to leave me alone, the doctor told me to try drinking milk and told me to come back for a second scan in hopes that it will clear up the reading.  A couple of days later I went in for my second scan and she was right the milk cleared up any discreptancies in the readings in my throat and the scans were all clear.  This actually felt like the first day of my life and I'm happy I don't have to spend anymore money on expensive treatments but I do have to take medication for the rest of my life which isn't a bad thing.  Right before this discovery I went to another country to visit my sick dad and realized we have it so easy here in America.  Since I'm born here I didn't realize truely how fortunate I am (and I mean truely), so for everyone complaining about the little things I am only going to say one thing deal with it and move on. Now I appreciate everything, everyone, and every meal (and being given a second chance isn't a bad thing either).

8:21 PM - 43 Comments - 35 Kudos - Add Comment

Everyone hates losing something they love
Current mood: crushed

My iguana grew ill about a month and a half ago, I cherished and loved him alot, I took him to the beach alot with me and sat him on my shoulders.  Once I started seeing a rash form on his outer cheek and puffyness around the eyes I took him to a vet close by after doing research online and their website seemed so warmhearted and caring.  The first time I take him the Vet tells me there's abscess growing in cheek so he informs me of his procedures and gives me the quote, once they were done scraping out the outer cheek and pulling out the abscess I asked about antibiotic treatments, the doctor told methat he would heal on it's own and that I wouldn't need it and that his clinic wants to save people money.  I took him for a check up about a week and a half later because his eye got worse and he wasn't eating still and slept all day.  I realize the Vet neglected the eye area the first time and that I wanted to make it clear for it to be treated this time, I talk to the assistant about antibiotics and she said I could just use neosporin on it and soak it in a warm bath ( so I was thinking what the fuck neosporin on an iguana?).  They drained some liquid out of his eye and tell me to use a q-tip when I get home to help drain it some more, they also took some more abscess out of the same area and I saw how much pain it was going through since they don't prefer localizing any small animal, which I understand.  I asked if they could please give it some antibiotic shots and they still refused and said it doesn't need it, because I figured any animal being cut should need something to help it heal or it will get infected just like humans do.  Yesterday my boyfriend told me that the other eye just got puffy so he couldn't see, I take him out of the tank and he was struggling to breath, it was a nightmare to me.  I went online to find an emergency clinic and was referred to a really far specialist.  They informed me that any professional vet that specializes in exotics should always give antibiotics to help the animal heal, I finally realize that the other place misinformed me out of my own expense.  This specialist performed the proper procedures and did what they could as well as giving the antibiotic shots, once they brought out my baby it was weak and gasped less for air.  I felt relieved because I thought this time would be better and it would definitely heal and that it would be playful again with the other one.  They gave me a critical package to take home with some antibiotics and I put it in a warm cloth on the way home but it kept on slowly gasping for air.  I had to leave for work so I had my boyfriend take care of it and and hour later at work he calls me to tell me he didn't make it, so I broke down and cried at work and had to close down the bar since I couldnt face customers that way.  Imagine loving something so much and having memories with your pet, since every pet has a personality,  this iguana was special to me because I felt it was different from the rest and it was potty trained and it knew how much I loved him because I would let it fall asleep on my stomach and I would give it little kisses while it would close it's eyes.  I felt like that place that neglected the proper treatments tore my heart out and lit it on fire, I felt like I didn't have to lose my iguana and watch it suffer that way, it would have been less painful to see it go right away, but this was a month and a half of suffering, I wished I knew better and had taken it to this last vet, it would still be alive and on my shoulders right now watching tv with me.  Some people may think it's stupid to love something so small but I was so attached to this one and I felt like this place mistreated my poor pet, so I am going to go back there and expect my money back for the lack of knowledge and neglect and an explanation of why a specialist, or so he considers himself to be would misinform me of such treatments (and I'm being very nice about this..) or I'm going to take this to a higher authority.  This isn't about the fucken money, it's not going to bring back my baby.  Any place that does this should be shutdown.  Don't bother writing me a mean message at this moment or i'll burn you alive and feed you crispy to the homeless..

12:57 AM - 46 Comments - 41 Kudos - Add Comment

Looks like another cancer battle for me again....

I got my scan today and got the good news that I have cancer spreading in neck and lung area again.  It was my fault for not taking care of myself and not taking my medication religiously, but that's just what I did to myself...I knew these past months, I've been having lung pain and shortness of breathe but I was in denial and so broke to the point where it has decided to come back so I'm not surprised....it's funny how I told myself I would not stray and be like everyone else, but it's written that everyone strays at least once.  During this time I try to reframe from reading my messages in my inbox since I am getting alot of hateful messages at the wrong time and that nonsense is not helping me at this moment but if you write a subject title of what you want to talk about then I will most likely choose that over no subject titles.  Thanks

10:23 AM - 507 Comments - 437 Kudos - Add Comment

How your myspace page gets hacked?? I copied and pasted this
Current mood: aggravated
Category: MySpace

How your Myspace Page gets hacked?

Also known as Phishing. What these hackers do is send you a link in your message on Myspace or email, like check this out or click "here" or anything thats linkable. You click on it, and get disconnected "booted" off Myspace.com So you log back on, BUT what you are logging back on to is "FAKE" HACKERS Myspace Page. That looks "exactly" like Myspace's log in page. You re-type your email and password, not knowing this is a "fake" MySpace Page. Then the hacker now has your email and password, since you just typed it on to his "fake" Myspace page. He gets the information and changes your password. This could happen to your Bank, amazon, ebay, paypal, your email sites too.


How do you prevent this. Anytime you get disconnected or booted of any website. Think about why this happened or what you have just clicked on too. They will hack into your real friends account, and message you, doing the same phishing trick. So anyones messages or mail you have to be careful.
Look carefully at the website address, When you retype your email and password. Are you really signing on to Myspace or some weird url http.fakeaccount.com. or www.rnyspace.com (notice the r n in myspace making it look like myspace but really it's r nyspace"rnyspace")

Remember if you get disconnected, just be careful, when you log back in. Double check the website address, that its the same you originally signed in on. Thought I would share this, Hope it helps some of you.

Thanks for listening,

Now is there somebody who can tell me, how this magician does that?

3:02 AM - 33 Comments - 40 Kudos - Add Comment

A poem I wrote more than three years ago
Current mood: hopeful

Still waiting for you

Till thick and thin
Steel walls and all
From day till night
Month to year
Sickness and health
Darkness till light
Spring to fall
Disasters and all
I'll still be waiting for you
From here to heaven
By chance or luck
Place to place
Lake to lake
Hardtimes and heartaches
Lovers and mistakes
Lies and sympathy
I'll still be waiting for you
From hidden feelings
Shedding tears
Fallen hopes to broken dreams
From take this to take that
Misconceptions and rough times
Your no where to be found
But guess what?
I'll still be waiting for you


...umm I guess I couldn't wait..

3:18 AM - 27 Comments - 38 Kudos - Add Comment