My Inner Petulant Child
Current mood: Heavy
Category: Heavy Writing and Poetry

Unfortunately I have some major things going on in my life and it has caused me to see the world through the eyes of a petulant child...I have written the words below in order to purge this feeling. I hope you can understand that I still believe in love, light and beauty...this is merely a phase through which I must pass...I hope you all remain well and blessed and that you continue living in the light!

My woes are likes stones
with which I am heavily laden.
Goddess.
Maiden.
Girl.

My future bifurcated
the path unknown,
a destiny certain.

Seeing situational altruism
selfish people,
plastic smiles,
single servings
selfish denials.

Disconsolate reverberations
echoing in the hemispheres of my brain
I'm sick of irony...
to cultivate sincerity
now such a rarity.
Hypocritical in our oaths
all wearing the emperor's new clothes.

The harder I try to find my way
the more lost I get.
Where there is no remorse
there is only regret.
I've given up on profundity.

I am spewing molten crazy,
erupting volcanically,
I am working mechanically,
but screwed up organically.
I am disease.

Filled with dis-ease
help me, please?

7:05 PM - 9 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

Underneath Her Tutu
Current mood: flirty
Category: Writing and Poetry

A little girl gave me an assignment on e-mail and, from this assignment, I created the following poem...I hope you enjoy as I had to remake one similar to share with her, due to some of the content ;)


My shadow wears
thigh highs with her toe shoes,
a tutu with high boots,
a thong with nothing else!
She knows the order of things.
Her hair is like
fiery serpents all ablaze!
My shadow is a
star on Orian's belt,
flaring, flashing, crashing
towards the ground...
leaving shiny entrails of light
fading into the distance.

Currently listening : Sleep Through The Static By Jack Johnson Release date: 05 February, 2008

7:11 PM - 8 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

I’m Having a Black and White Ball
Current mood: amused
Category: Writing and Poetry

Will I settle for good enough?
Hide away when times get rough?
Put up my armor and act real tough?
Fill my life with other stuff?
Or will you all just call my bluff?

Will I pretend to be okay?
Having superfluous things to say?
Keeping all my real problems at bay?
Let all of the important things start to stray?
Or can I kneel, be vulnerable and pray?

Will I begin to feel alright?
Or close myself away real tight?
Not everything is in black and white!
Can I remember pure delight?
Will you help me on this plight?

Nettlesome feelings begin to sting.
Am I not a human being?
Haven't I often done the right thing?
I rarely irrupt when you're erupting.
I just stand back and let you sing.

Doesn't everyone?
I guess the joke's on me.

Currently listening : Once By Original Soundtrack Release date: 22 May, 2007

10:11 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

This Is The End
Current mood: Hurt
Category: Hurt Writing and Poetry

What if I gave you up for lent?
Forty days to not resent,
our time bomb.
Oneness says we should depart,
both to make a brand new start,
find our own calm.

Combustible, Incendiary,
all those things that we should bury,
a relationship dissolute.
Appalling and deplorable,
we end up feeling horrible,
not our best attribute.

I'm sorry but it has to end,
I'd hoped that you would be my friend,
but my hope is lost.
It started out as something great,
then all the love turned into hate,
a terrible cost.

I am truly sorry for this,
I hope you know that I will miss,
you.

Currently listening : Automatic for the People By R.E.M. Release date: 06 October, 1992

8:22 PM - 8 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Safety
Current mood: Ponderous
Category: Ponderous Writing and Poetry

I wanted to shape my words into the picture, like the one I am posting, but I am not sure how to do that...if anyone knows how to do that and/or knows of some software I could use I would appreciate any advice you can offer...be well and blessed, living in light and Oneness!!

I pulled a brick from my wall
peering in on that day again.
Plate thrown like a frisbee,
striking deeply in my middle,
a line of blood forming underneath the skin.
Deafened by his hatred!
Out of the corner of my eye I see a vision, a sign of coming days.
Will I be killed by words?
Brain flatulence exploding.
Ranting on and on, a pernicious din,
his sin, brought upon me now.
Sweating, breathing, staring, thinking and hoping he won't hammer.
I abominate the ruinous man!
Dreadful reverence creeps upon my skin.
Without feathers, drum or riot, the moment fondles silence.
His breath skips, eyes wild.
I hear her whimpering from the shower stall.
She huddles there, spent.
I will protect her!
My body tightening,
coiled like a snake,
ready to STRIKE!
A gun in his hands,
he rifles through the drawer,
click,
the magazine replaced.
Trigger happy?
Swiftly, suddenly
upon me...
Torn, tired, in dismay,
there is nothing left to say.
His hands raised,
his eyes burning,
his anger frothing.
Singular artillery pointed right at me,
so close to my heart.
Relegating thoughts,
the depths of my valor questioned.
He moves closer,
his deciding moment brings a snarl,
CLICK...
the safety was on.

Currently watching : Artmind - The Healing Power of Sacred Art with Alex Grey Release date: 29 June, 2004

2:33 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Picture Tag
Current mood: Whimsical
Category: Whimsical Art and Photography

Picture Tag, a game posed by my friend Mike, who got if from someone else, who got it from someone else, etc...thanks Mike, this was really fun!:
1) Answer the questions below.
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket.com
3) Take a picture from the first page of results and copy the html code.
4) You cannot copy the person's answers who posted this before you!

1. Age on my next birthday:

2. A place I'd like to travel:

3. Favorite Place:

4. Favorite Object:

5. Favorite Food:

6. Favorite Shape:

There was no match for Hebesphenomegacorona
7. Favorite Color:

8. Town where I was born:
(I was born in Oregon City but this sign says it all :)

9. What I did last weekend:

10. Name of my first love:

11. Nickname or Screen Name:
(There was no match for AphroHeidi so I used another nickname given to me by a foreign friend and kept alive by friends and family 'cause the incident was so funny...she called me The Heidi:)

12. Current Job:

13. A habit of mine:

14. First Job:

15. Grandmother's Name:

and

Mike, is your grandmother named Ruth? The same picture came up for my search :)
16. Favorite Book:

17. Favorite Animal:
(This was a tough one, I have WAY too many favorites...my favorite animal that I owned was, of course, Agent Fox Mulder my chunky Basset Hound :)

18. The town in which I live:

19. My First Name:
(A very popular dog name, I never knew it was a cat name too...Ugh!:)

20. My middle name:

21. My last name:
I have two:


22. Something I love:

Currently listening : Terras Fames By Rishloo Release date: 21 August, 2004

2:11 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Stellar Love
Current mood: Loving
Category: Loving Writing and Poetry

Ever since I was a small child I have felt moments of overwhelming love. I feel, and have been told, that I have more love to give than most. The nickname, AphroHeidi, was given to me by my mother when I was a small child...she said I was her little love goddess. I sometimes fantasize that I am actually Aphrodite reincarnated...today I am having one of those moments...I am overwhelmed with love for all humanity; I only wish that I could channel it appropriately to those who need it. Please know that you are loved in oneness, each and every one of you!!!

I am overwhelmed with love,
it ekes from my pores.
When the gods gave it out,
I was given more to share.
Where shall I place it?
Reincarnate Aphrodite,
gentle yet fierce,
pure yet whorish,
unpredictable yet planned,
complex yet easy.
The loud moaning of the sea,
with its soft foam,
embracing this time lotus,
each petal a form of love.
Worshipping waves, tremulous and grand
like the music of love beating wildly in my heart.
I saw the Phoenix rise,
granting a new life.
Is your fertile mind ready to conceive
of stellar levels of affection?
My spiritual embrace longs to be filled!
A life unleashed and bound in fire,
my flame ignites the way,
leading you to passionland,
AWAKEN!
Turn the key I've provided,
unlock my mystery,
find spiritual intensity,
embrace the love pouring out of me!

7:44 PM - 4 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Sex On Hardwood
Current mood: savage
Category: Writing and Poetry

Dance with me!
To dance, perchance to dream...
a loving embrace of my heart's cathedral.
I embrace my body's willingness to take air, to take flight,
to alight the world.
I hope that my own spirit will meet me there,
in the place where hearts and minds coalesce, they coalesce in time!!!
In the place where my body knows my mind the best.
No one can take the feeling from me, this one that sets me free.
I feel alive and akin to the spirit of dance.
When I am inside of dance there is a heart's trance,
one that kills the pain,
kills the vanity,
crucifies the ego!
Makes me feel whole,
brings me to sanity,
just watch me go!
On ruled paper I will write but on the ground my dance takes flight.
Has there ever been any light more than
DANCE?
The wild abandon of body movement,
a magical illumination.
flesh all a mesh,
heightening every sensation.
The rhythm, the music, the cadence and flow,
Alive, sacrificing my body on the altar of dance, all aglow.
Take me to another level,
keep my heart safe,
allowing it to revel.
My dance is sine qua non,
absolutely indispensable,
never to touch it would be incomprehensible!
To dance I need no reason and my body doesn't rhyme.
I feel harmonics in my heart and begin in my mind.
To flow, to feel, to move with ease,
like "sex on hardwood", can I have it...please?
Tango with me? Feel my body move against yours?
Feel me ache to have my dance be yours!
All I need is to have the dance, the trance, the rants within me...involved.
I fall backwards into your arms...you lean my head too near the floor.
NO, just close enough!
The intensity of the TANGO, heats me beyond comprehension...
My legs are so weak, you lean me hard,
did I forget to mention.....
the HEAT?
"Positions please!" do you feel the passion?
Estrual metamorphosis igniting my loins,
A melding of flesh as our two bodies join.
Is it frightening? Is it wrong?
Tango is "sex", more than song.
Can you do it and keep your virginity?
Dance makes one embrace their divinity.
Based on a true story,
my dance is my glory.
Not in the sense of "honor, distinction and fame"
but in the sense that my heart knows my name,
when dancing there's no one but me to blame.
Should I "mess up" the dance still takes flight,
should I be afraid of anything other than "me" tonight?
Like boxing dance has me "bobbing and weaving" and until I have it....
I am barely breathing....
Smooth, rough, it is never enough!
I dance with a flow, hoping it will go to the top,
I have no care, lifting my spirits...don't stop!
What is inside of your suitcase? Your luggage, your "case"?
Should you dance it, you'll love it...
leaving behind the body baggage.
Embracing your body like a passionate savage!
Mix the music, take your places and put up a good fight,
if you can contrive it your body will alight!
No matter your body shape, for dance it's just right!
Circadian rhythm, navigation, trajectory,
aviation, pulse, swing and stance,
the dance floor becoming a rectory,
dance is god and god is dance.
Feeling the rock, like a body with no bones,
pulsating, shaking with deep breaths and moans.
Dance is clean, beautiful and bare,
it is something you choose and you live in its prayer!
Oh how exquisite dance can be!
When I dance all is silent,
nothing good nor bad.
I am in the best moment that I've ever had!
Dance for yourself even when with another,
dance until your heart is your own surrogate mother.
Dance in red, indigo and green,
dance only with the the movement your body really means.
Dance love, anger, fear and greed,
dance pure devotion and vulnerable need.
Dance gives me the moment,
it repeats, pauses, resumes.
Whenever I begin to dance my lotus flower blooms!
Do you enjoy sweatin' over me,
the mingling of flesh intertwining?
The only way to feel, to grow...to BE!
A true example of the soul's divining!
Real love can be found in dance...at least fascination,
A sublime revelation in your body's formation.
Take me over,
bend me low,
just dance with me NOW!!!
Nice......and.......slow.......

4:11 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Falling Apart
Current mood: blustery
Category: Writing and Poetry

I
may
need
to
fall
apart,
will you embrace me with your heart?
The tearing, the tears,
illusional fears
all cutting like shears!
A vision of freedom,
a slate that's all clean.
When you said that you loved me,
what did you mean?
My surface barely has been scratched,
daydreams, better than reality.
Existential thoughts hatched,
threatening my vitality.
Falling
apart
into
the
abyss.
What to keep, what to dismiss?
The anguish, the pain,
all felt in vain,
my veins feel the strain.
With
complete
abandon
I
abandon
you.
Everything is all askew!
Knowledge is power
it's all gone sour,
suspicions
veraciously
devour.
Pernicious consternation,
mind masturbation,
moments filled with perturbation.
Feeling pestiferous,
infesting this world.
I am an insect
but my wings are all curled.
Some change in my pocket
with none in my life.
Taken for a ride
wanting to drive.
I'll take a back seat
to be sure I'll arrive.
No longer the queen bee,
just part of the hive.
Apocalyptic
perhaps slightly cryptic,
or plain, even trite.
Confused,
bemused,
no longer feeling used.
I guess everything will be alright.

9:44 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Next
Current mood: perplexed
Category: perplexed Writing and Poetry

Resplendent delight,
descending touches,
culminating into bliss.

All at once,
Words are curt,
my feelings hurt.
Something is amiss.

Listlessly scattering shards of my identity,
into the darkened room where I once felt whole.
Your hollow embrace,
leaving me mournful and unidentified.
Once, my super ball of love
bounced back at me with a vengeance.
Now I beg, longing for its return.
I am left drained, bare, vacuous.
Vaccinated by your self absorption,
I realize that I have lost my sense of self.
Baffled and bemused,
am I being used?
An abundance of love,
I have to share.
I choose to live, giving all of me,
taking the time to be,
learning the way to see
everything.
I am still loving you,
is it the right thing to do?
Perplexed,
somewhat vexed,
what's next?

12:02 PM - 6 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment