One more day.

I feel like my life is packed into a suitcase.

This feeling of... I don't know what, excitement? Nervousness? Anticipation? Stress? It's all building up and I think I've made myself sick from worrying about this trip. Seriously, I've been sick for the past 2 weeks and I call think about is trying to get better and what I need to do before I leave. I just hope that when that damn plane lands I can breathe and I won't be this huge ball of snot and phlegm.

Mom is stressing out too. I hate it when she does that, she ended up getting sick too and I think that's adding to all of this... stress. I hate that word. I hate stressing, I hate always worrying. I just want to be able to let it all go and go with the flow. And no matter how hard I try, it's always one little thing that sets me off and I'm back to--- you guessed it--- stressing. Ack, I just want to relax.

I still have to finish packing. I also have to clean my room, send out the last of the orders from my little store online (which, I admit, I've been procrastinating on that), make sure Travis has everything he needs, pick up my paycheck, take out money, go to dinner at Trav's, help Mom pack, spend enough time with my brothers, wash my clothes, PACK PACK PACK, BLAHHHHHHH.

I leave tomorrow evening around 5 or 6 or something like that. We then drive to San Francisco International (2 hours away, hopefully decent traffic.... yeah right), and Dad helps us with the luggage. Then we check in, and wait. Our flight doesn't leave until 1:40 AM or so. Then, a 14 hour flight to Hong Kong. We have a 2 hour layover there, and catch the plane to Manila, a 2 hour flight. We get to Manila around 10:00 AM on May 8 or 9, I'm so confused with the time change and I just glanced at our itinerary. Fcuk, what a looonnnggg ways.

I have high hopes for this trip. I hope it goes somewhat smoothly, and I'm just going to enjoy the heat, the sun, and my family and Travis.

12:50 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

13 April 2008

I'm going to the Philippines in May.

It's so weird for me to think about because I was just there 3 years ago. What's different this time is that I'm taking Travis with me. How... nerve wracking. I'm excited though, Trav will have a good time.

I'm joining the Air Force when we come back. Talk about a change in plans, eh? It's all good, I'm going to pay for college through the AF. Throughout this process, get married and start my life.

Not much happening really. I'm boring huh???

Oh, my birthday is friday. It doesn't even feel like it's my birthday again. The days are flying by!

ehhhhhhhhhhh gosh.

9:58 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Lazy, cloudy days.
Current mood: sad

the weather is weird. they predicted that it would be over 100 degrees this week, but look at it: cloudy, upper 80's-low 90's. it's a nice change, actually.

not much has happened these past few days. i've been trying to keep busy. i switched rooms with my brother, so now i have the smallest room in the house. it's okay, seeing as all i do in my room is sleep and change. my old room was pretty big, but it was hell keeping it clean. this change is for the better.

i'm still looking for a job. a decent paying one with decent hours so i can save up for a car and the move. my goal is to get a car within the next 3-4 months, and save up enough money to move out in may or june. HOPEFULLY i can because i really want to.

i have now gone 5-6 days without seeing travis. only 7 more to go. it's hell. and i miss him. and everything about him. it's hard to talk sometimes because of the time change (3 hours difference... he's ahead.) so when it's early here, it's already late in florida. uuurrrrggggggghhhhhh. i feel so lost, i know he misses me and of course he loves me so i should feel better about that... but i hate knowing that he's so far away. i hate knowing that he's not going to be here tomorrow or later tonight like he normally is. or that feeling of knowing that even if i don't see him today, he's at least in the neighborhood next to mine, so it's a short short drive. it drives me ridiculously insane waiting for phone calls. you would think i would be patient enough and think rationally that he's with his family so he can't call me all the time. i try to be patient while i'm waiting. i try i try i try. but i miss his voice. i don't know how my mom did this for months at a time while my dad was in the military. but 12 days is HELL for me. i just want him to hold me. i miss his arms and his body and his smell and his voice. i miss just being around him. 12 days is a FUCKING long time. the longest we've been apart is 4, if that.

our 5 months is on the 19th. sometimes i still feel as if we just got together. everytime i see him, i still get lightheaded from being so excited or nervous. it's a great feeling, honestly. when i see him, i know i can relax because i know that whatever we decide to do, it will all turn out alright. and i know he loves me as much as i love him. i've never felt this comfortable in a relationship as i do right now. he gets along with my family. i get along with his family. my friends like him. i'm at peace with our relationship.

I JUST MISS HIIMMMMMM!!! when he comes home he's gonna get the biggest smooch he'll ever get in his whole life.

3:56 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment