My Celebrity Look-alikes

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family history - Old photos

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Zombie Love...
Current mood: amused
Category: Blogging

I AM A ZOMBIE FILLED WITH LOVE

Isaac Marion
2006

I am a zombie, and it's not so bad. I'm learning to live with it. I'm sorry I can't properly introduce myself, but I don't have a name anymore. Hardly any of us do. We forget them, like anniversaries and PIN numbers. I think mine might have started with a "T", but I'm not sure. It's funny, because back when I was alive, I was always forgetting other people's names. I am finding that irony abounds in the zombie life, an ever-present punch line. But it's hard to smile when your lips have rotted off.

Before I became a zombie, I think I was a businessman or  young professional of some kind. I think I worked in one of those stifling office jobs in a highrise somewhere. The clothes clinging to the remains of my body are high-quality business-casual. Fine gabardine slacks, silvery silk shirt, red Armani power tie. I would probably look pretty sharp if my intestines weren't dragging at my feet. Ha.

We like to joke and speculate about our remaining outfits, since these final fashion choices are usually the only indication of who we were before we became no-one. Some people's are less obvious than mine. Jeans and a white t-shirt. Skirt and a tanktop. So we make random guesses.

You were a plumber. You were a barista. Ring any bells?

It usually doesn't.

No one I know has any specific memories. We recognize some things — buildings, cars, Armani ties — but context eludes us. We are here, we do what we do. We lack excellent diction, but we can communicate. We grunt and groan, we make hand gestures, and sometimes a few words slip out. It's not that different from before.

There are a few hundred of us living in a wide plain of dust outside some large city. We don't need shelter or warmth, obviously. We stand around in the dust, and time passes. I think we've been here for a long time. Despite my dragging entrails, I am in decay's early stages, but there are a few elderly ones here who are little more than skeletons with clinging bits of muscle. Somehow, it still extends and contracts, and they keep moving. I have never seen any of us "die" of old age. Maybe we live forever, I don't know. I don't think much about the future anymore. That's something that's very different from before. When I was alive, the future was all I thought about. Obsessed about. Death has relaxed me.

But it makes me sad that we've forgotten our names. Out of everything, this seems to me the most tragic. I don't miss my own, but I mourn for everyone else's, because I want to love them, but I don't know who they are.

Today a group of us are going into town to find some food. How this expedition begins is one of us gets hungry and starts shuffling toward town, and a few others follow him. Focused thought is a rare occurrence with us, and we follow it when we see it. Otherwise we would just be standing around groaning. We do a lot of standing around groaning, and it's frustrating sometimes. Years pass this way. The flesh withers on our bones, and we stand around, waiting for it. I am curious how old I might be.

The city where the people live is not that far. We arrive around noon and start looking for living flesh. The new kind of hunger is a strange feeling. You don't feel it in your stomach -  of course not, since some of us don't even have stomachs. You feel it just...everywhere. You start to feel "more dead". I've watched some of my friends go back to being full-dead, when food is scarce. They just slow down, and stop, and become corpses again. I don't really understand it.

I guess the world has mostly ended, because the cities we wander through are decaying as fast as we are. Buildings are collapsed. Dead, rusted cars fill the streets. All glass everywhere is shattered. I don't know if there was a war, or a plague, or if it was just us. Maybe it was all three. I don't know. I don't think about things like that anymore.

In a cluster of broken down apartment buildings we find some people, and we eat them. Some of them have weapons, and as usual we lose some of our number, but we don't care. Why would we care? What's death, now?

Eating is not a pleasant business. I chew off a man's arm, and I hate this, it's disgusting. I hate his screams, because I don't like pain, I don't like to hurt things, but this is the world now, this is what we do. Of course, if I don't eat all of him, if I leave enough, he'll rise up and follow me back to our dusty field outside the city, and that might make me feel better. I'll introduce him to everyone, and maybe we'll stand around and groan for a while. It's hard to say what "friends" are anymore, but maybe that's close. If I don't eat all of him, if I leave enough...

 But of course I don't leave enough. I eat his brain, because that's the good part. That's the part that, when I swallow it, makes my head light up with feelings. Clear memories. For about three to ten seconds, depending on the person, I get to feel alive. I get traces of delicious meals, beautiful music, perfume, orgasms, sunsets, life. Then it fades, and I get up and stumble out of the city, still dead, but feeling a little less so. Feeling ok.

I don't know why we have to eat people. I don't understand what chewing off a man's neck accomplishes. We certainly don't digest the meat and absorb the nutrients. My stomach is a rotted bag of dried bile, useless. We don't digest, we just eat until the weight forces it out our ass holes, and then we eat more. It feels so useless, and yet it keeps us walking. I don't know why. None of us really understand why we are the way we are. We don't know if we're the result of some strange global infection, or some ancient curse, or something even more senseless. We don't talk about it much. Existential debate is not a major part of zombie life. We are here, and we do things. We are simple. It's nice sometimes.

Outside the city again, back with the others in the dust field, I start walking in a circle for no reason. I plant one foot in the dirt and pivot on it, around and around, kicking up clouds of dust. Before, when I was alive, I could never have done this. I remember stress. I remember bills and deadlines, Asset Retention Reports. I remember being so occupied, so always everywhere all the time occupied. Now I'm just standing in a wide-open field of dust, walking in a circle. The world has been distilled. Being dead is easy.

After a few days of this, I stop walking, and I stand still, swaying back and forth and groaning a little. I don't know why I groan. I'm not in pain, and I'm not sad. I think it's just air being squeezed in and out of my lungs. When my lungs decompose, it will probably stop. And now, while swaying and groaning, I notice a dead woman standing a few feet away from me, facing the distant mountains. She doesn't sway or groan, her head just lolls from side to side. I like that about her, that she doesn't sway or groan. I walk over and stand beside her. I wheeze some kind of greeting, and she responds with a lurch of her shoulder.

I like her. I reach out and touch her hair. She has not been dead very long. Her skin is grey and her eyes slightly sunken, but she has no exposed bones or organs. Her death outfit is a black skirt and a snug white button-up. I suspect she used to be a waitress.

Pinned to her chest is a silver nametag.

I can read her name. She has a name.

Her name is Emily.

I point to her chest. Slowly, with great effort, I say, "Em..ily." The word rolls off what's left of my tongue like honey. What a good name. I feel warm saying it.

Emily's cloudy eyes widen at the sound, and she smiles. I also smile, and then maybe I'm a little nervous, because my tibia snaps, and I fall backwards into the dust. Emily just laughs, and it's a choked, raw, lovely sound. She reaches down and helps me to my feet.

Emily and I have fallen in love.

I'm not sure how this happens. I remember what love was like before, and this is different. This is simpler. Before, there were complex emotional and biological factors at work. We had long checklists and elaborate tests to be passed. We looked at hairstyles and careers and breast sizes. And sex was there, in everything, confusing everyone, like hunger. It created longing, it created ambition, competition, it drove people to leave their houses and invent automobiles, space craft, and atom bombs when they could instead just sit on the couch until they died. Animal cravings. Subconscious urges. Sex made the world go 'round.

This is all gone now. Sex, once a force as universal as gravity, is now irrelevant. Ambition and longing have left the equation. My penis fell off two weeks ago.

So the equation is deleted, the blackboard erased, and things are different now. Our actions have no ulterior motives. We shuffle around in the dust and occasionally have lumbering, grunted exchanges with our peers. No one argues. There are no fights, ever.

And Emily is not a complicated process. I just see her, and walk over to her, and for no reason, really, I decide I want to be with her for a long time. So now we shuffle around in the dust together instead of alone. For whatever reason, we enjoy each other's company. When we have to go into town to eat people, we do it at separate times, because it's unpleasant, and we don't want to share that. But we share everything else, and it's nice.

We decide to walk to the mountains. It takes us three days, but now we are standing on a cliff looking up at a fat white moon. At our backs, the night sky is red from distant cities burning, but we don't care about that. I clumsily grab Emily's hand, and we stare at the moon.

 There's no real reason for any of this, but like I said, the world has been distilled. Love has been distilled. Everything is easy now. Yesterday my leg broke off, and I don't even mind.

End

Currently reading : Dragons of a Fallen Sun (Dragonlance: The War of Souls, Volume I) By Margaret Weis Release date: 01 January, 2001

10:48 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Male brains suck, lol
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Blogging

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where
their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in
looking tired and somber...
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain
transplant. It's an experimental
procedure, very risky but it is
the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to
pay for the brain yourselves." The family members sat silent as
they absorbed the news.
After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200
for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile,
avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A
man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to
ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at
the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been
used."

Currently listening : Comalies By Lacuna Coil Release date: 29 October, 2002

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For a good cause...
Current mood: contemplative

    I feel that it is important to write a blog about this. One of my friends just did one of the most wonderful things she could possibly do, she donated her hair to Locks-of-Love. Every two years when my hair is long enough I cut it all off and donate too. But it isn't enough for just the two of us, we need more people to donate! If you are thinking of changing your look and you have at least 10 inches to cut, please consider donating! You can go into any hair salon and they will cut your hair for free if you are donating. And for those of you who already donated in the past, you rock!!! 
Visit their website at http://www.locksoflove.org/

4:32 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I stole this from Jimmy, BEST Journalism EVER!!!!
Current mood: amused

Currently listening : Wisconsin Death Trip By Static-X Release date: 23 March, 1999

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This Brain is a MESS!! Profound Flight of thought.
Current mood: giggly

Okay so yesterday I was minding my own business when I was told that I am weird. Now normally I find that amusing and say thank you. But this time it came from someone who I know really really well. So I asked him why so and he said because I make no sense. Confused by this, (because I think I make perfect sense) I asked him to tell me why. I realized then that I  have this wonderful problem of flight of thought. For those of you who don't know what this is I will explain. Flight of thought is when you are talking about one thing and it triggers a thought about another thing. Once that happens you begin to talk about that thing you thought about and shift the conversation into a different direction. But mind you sometimes the thinking process happens a few times, i.e. You are talking about a duck, which leads you to think about this park you were at, which makes you think about summer, which makes you think about ice cream, which makes you think....well you see where I am going with this. Then all of a sudden you blurt out "What DID ever happen to the Snowdens of yesteryear?!" And the person you are talking to either: one, understands completely what you are talking about and agrees with you, or two their head explodes. But unfortunately for me this problem is also comorbid with another disease I have called "Foot in Mouth," which many of you know I have and are very supportive of me. So not only do I blurt random crap out for no apparent reason, but it also tends to be inappropriate and sometimes rude. So you see it isn't because I am insensitive, I love almost everyone. I just have a diagnosis of profound flight of thought. And as for the prognosis, well it looks like I will be exploding heads for the rest of my life. LMAO!!!!!! 

Currently listening : Drunken Lullabies By Flogging Molly Release date: 19 March, 2002

6:22 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

100 things about me
Current mood: cheerful

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
closed, but it doesn't bother me either way

2. Do you take the shampoo & conditioner bottles from hotel rooms?
yes, and the towels, and the bible, and well anything that is not nailed down, lol.

3. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?
nope

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
too many times

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
yes

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
i don't like coupons

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
bees, more likely to survive

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
yes

10. What is your biggest pet peevE?
hmmm....I have a lot, I guess ignorance

11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
tucked in

12. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
it depends why I would be doing it

13. Have you ever peed in the woods?
hahahahahaha, yes

14. Do you ever jump up and down to make your privates bounce?
what kind of question is this?

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
no

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
no one

17. Do you like popcorn from those big tins?
yes, I ate all of Erik's just a few weeks ago, lol

18. What is your "Song of the week"?
rollin' with saget, lol

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
sure

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
everyday

21. Whats your favorite scary movie?
I have too many

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
under the "X", duh

23. What do you drink with dinner?
soda or water

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
BBQ sauce

25. What is your favorite food/ cuisine?
italian or chinese

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
SLC Punk, The Princess Bride, Dracula and all of the LOTR movies

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
I think Jamie, lol *wink wink*

28. Were you a boy/girl scout?
yes

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
hey if it helps me through college, LMAO

30. When was the last time u wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I don't remember, I usually write on paper plates.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
yes, but I don't like to

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
No

33. Ran out of gas?
No

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?:
Peanut Butter and Jelly, with no crusts, unless it is potato bread

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
pancakes or waffles

36. What is your usual bedtime?
Whenever I drop

37. Are you lazy?
no not really, I always have to be doing something

38. When you were a kid what did you dress up as for halloween?
Oh god...lets see; a bum, a nurse, a lady bug a princess, a bride, a doctor, a zombie, etc. I still dress up, so I can't possibly remember all of the costumes I have had for 23 years.

39. Do you read the newspaper?
No it is a bunch a bias crap

40. How many languages can you speak?
well english, I still remember a little french, a little spanish and ASL

41. Do you have any magazine subscription?
Game informer

42. Which are better Legos or Lincoln Logs?
LEGOS NOW AND FOREVER!!!!!!!!!

43. Are you stubborn?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
I don't like either of them

45. Watch a soap opera?
Only on Telemundo, LMAO

46. Afraid of heights?
no

47. Sing in the car?
all the time

48. Dance in the shower?
sometimes

49. Dance in the car?
yes

50. Ever used a gun?
yes

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
last year

52. Are musicals cheesy?
some

53. Is christmas stressful?
not really

54. Ever eat a pierogie?
yummy!!!

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
apple I guess

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
a singer, a dancer, a doctor, a lawyer, and I think at one point I wanted to be a princess, but then again that goal has been achieved, lol.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
yes

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
all the time

59. Take a vitamin daily?
yes and they are gross tasting

60. Wear slippers?
shoes? what are those?

61. Wear a bathrobe?
sometimes I wear my froggy one

62. What do you wear to bed?
not much

63. First concerts?
New Kids on the Block and Tiffiany, I know I am REALLY GAY!!

64. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
Walmart

65. Nike or Adidas?
adidas

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
peanuts

68.Ever hear of, "gorp"?
wtf

69. Ever take dance lessons?
yes, 8 years of running around in a tutu is enough for me

70.Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
I would like a "Mr. Mom." I think it is important for the father to be a big part of a child's life too. At least I would like him to do something that would allow the children to see him and myself so I would never need a stranger to raise my kids. I don't believe in babysitters.

71. Can you curl your tongue?
I can do a lot of interesting tongue tricks, lol

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
yes

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
yes

74. Own any record albums?
not anymore

75. Own a record player?
see above

76. Regularly burn incense?
no

77. Ever been in love?
I think so

78.Who would you like to see in concert?
Dunno

79. What was your last concert you saw?
311 and the roots

80.Hot tea or cold tea?
cold tea

81.Tea or coffee?
COFFEE? DID SOMEONE SAY COFFEE?!!!!

82.Favorite kind of cookie?
Chocolate chip

83.Can you swim well?
Yes

84.Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
Yes

85.Are you patient?
Sometimes

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
It depends on what type of wedding a person has, I like DJ's

87.Ever won a contest?
A few

88.Ever have plastic surgery?
Nope

89.Which are better black or green olives?
EEEEEWWWW

90.Can you knit or crochet?
crochet

91. Best room for a fireplace?
living room

92.Want to get married?
Yes, eventually

93.If married, how long have you been married?
Not married yet

94. Who was your HS crush?
hahahahaha, he knows who he is

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
No

96. Do you have kids?
no

97. Do you want kids?
once I am ready I would like four but I will prolly only have 2

98. Whats your favorite color(s)?
Black, Blue, Pink and Purple

99. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Ireland!!!!!

100. ARE YOU HAPPY?
Yes

Currently listening : Jamie Kennedy: Unwashed By Jamie Kennedy Release date: 23 May, 2006

5:57 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

People are so frustrating!!!!!
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Blogging

Okay I don't normally write too many blogs about the sheer stupidity of people, but I think that this deserves some bloggage. So here goes....
There is this guy that is in my probabilty class. He is quite brilliant, I will give him that. I decided that he could help me in my quest to pass this class. So I asked for his help. He said "Sure, this will work out great because both of us will benefit." I figured that this would be a wonderful plan. So at the beginning of this semester we decided that we would meet three times a week.
So in the course of these many weeks I can count on my hands, feet and HIS hands how many times he has not shown up to study. Yesterday was the last straw. He was supposed to meet me at 4 pm to study. I was at the designated area at 3:50 pm just to be sure I was on time. He calls at 4:05 pm saying he is going to be 20 minutes late. So I waited...and waited...and waited some more. After an hour I decided to give it up and go home because he wasn't coming. He never called to say he couldn't make it or that he wasn't in the mood to study or whatever other excuse he has used for the past 16 weeks. So he finally calls me today to say how sorry he was. Well you know what asshole, sorry doesn't cut it!!!! I am sick and tired of his lazy, immature and overall annoying antics. I would expect this out of a 18 year old, but not out of a 28 year old. It is time to grow up. Everyone has problems that they have to deal with, that doesn't mean that you skip out on responsibilities that you have to yourself and others. So for those of you that may be reading this if you think that you are one of these people do the world a favor, step out into the middle of traffic on the LIE, because I really don't want to push you.

Currently listening : Ten Thousand Fists By Disturbed Release date: 20 September, 2005

7:46 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Nerd Fest 2006 (aka ICON 25)
Current mood: energetic

Okay so last weekend I went to ICON, big surprise. It was really awesome. I met Elvia and Kevin Sorbo. Then there was the ever amazing Rocky Horror Picture show, which by the way I still have rice in my purse. I also hung out with Marc from the Bards. He is a great guy. The shows were a lot of fun as well. I was glad to see that Emerald rose was back this year. I was also glad that Ghouls-a-Go Go was hosting the Cabaret. I missed them the last two years. And of course there was the dealers room, which I have to say I did really well in this year. I only spent $230 this time. There were some great costumes as well, so here are some pics of this years ICON, although there are not many, my camera's batteries kept dying.....

Ghouls-a-Go Go and some girl winning a prize from them:



Me and a Halo guy (I know I was making a dumb face but the costume was awesome!!!):



Okay you have to turn your head sideways for this one, but this is the best Lenore costume I have seen:



Marc and I:



The Bards doing their thing (they look confused):



Voltaire!!!!:



Emerald Rose:



Doug eating his rice from Rocky Horror, That's a BAD Doug, you have no idea where that has been!!!!:



Elvira and I:



Doug and Elvira:

Currently listening : A Faire To Remember By Brobdingnagian Bards Release date: 01 September, 2001

5:49 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Tequila and Salt (Thanks Marissa!!! <3)
Current mood: chipper
Category: Blogging

Tequila and Salt


This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where you can read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.



1. There are at least two people in this world that
you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some
way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is
because they want to be
just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they
go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves
you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something
good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on
you take another look.

11. Always remember the compliments you receive.
Forget about the insults.

So............ pass it on...

And remember....when life hands you lemons,
ask for tequila and salt!

Currently listening : You'll Rebel to Anything By Mindless Self Indulgence Release date: 12 April, 2005

8:14 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment