An Open Letter to the Editor of the Buffalo News
Current mood: angry
Category: News and Politics

I just sent this letter to the editors of the Buffalo News, in upstate New York.  It's a counter-editorial, written in response to this charming rant here.  Please note that I don't give a rat's ass about Don Imus; I'm responding to the defamatory nonsense about "Joe Bob Briggs", who used to publish some of my book reviews.  Joe Bob is one of the better writers and editors I've met in a career which has included many of both, and this writer needs to get his or her facts straight and remove the ol' skull from the rectum.

Anyone else who would care to send a response to their libel of Joe Bob should write to them here.

Hypocrisy Harps On…

While Controversy Cashes In.
A reply to editorial of 4/12/07, "Civility Crumbles, Crudity Sells"


So…Don Imus said a horrible thing on his radio show, did he?

Big freaking deal.

Who the hell is Don Imus anyway?  I didn't know who he was before this whole fooforah started, and I don't want to know now.  I get the impression he's a cranky old guy who talks about sports and says mean things.  But heck, I don't need to turn on the radio to hear that—I can just go down to the barber shop and find cranky old sports fans galore.

I find it humorous the way these media furballs continue to unfold, though.  This one with Imus is what, the umpteenth-hundred-and-seventy-ninth time that some idiot has made the headlines with hate speech in the last 30 years?   I just keep wondering when all of you media moralists are actually going to figure out this scam and stop falling for it.

Every few months, some Ponce de Leon with a sagging career and a microphone in hand suddenly realizes that his or her star has begun to sink in the west, and that maybe all of us out here in Consumerville aren't paying as much attention as he/she would like.  And since "Shocking the Straights" is the media's magical Fountain of Youth, this talentless schmuck then proceeds to drop some choice pearl of wisdom about "hymies", or "ragheads" or "nappy-headed hos".

And literally.  It just.  Never.  Fails.

You people NEVER learn.

Because in no time flat, Mr. Talentless Idiot has got thirty thousand editorials written across the land denouncing him as a hate-mongering douchebag.  And then the Hate-mongering Douchebags, realizing that "one of their own" is being attacked in the press, all have to step up to the plate and write another five or six thousand editorials about how, in fact, the ladies in question ARE somewhat nappy, and may or may not have accepted money for sexual favors.

And then the people who were actually loyal fans/listeners/viewers of Talentless Idiot feel the need to write another five or six thousand editorials about whatever slap on the fanny gets delivered to the numbskull for going and offending The United Hymies of America or the United Negro Sex Workers Anti-Defamation League.

And then there are another few thousand about how, offensive as this Talentless Idiot is, he still has a right to freely spew his drivel on the airwaves so long as anyone is willing to pay him money.

And another few who retort that allowing drivel on the airwaves is making us all a nation of drivelers.

Before it's over, some dewy-eyed reporter will be interviewing the Talentless Idiot on television, asking him earnestly, "Are you sorry now that you were a Hate-mongering Douchebag?  Like, really really sorry?  Really sorry, a lot, with cream and sugar and strawberries and hugs for all of God's children?"

And maybe there will be an  apology, and maybe there won't—but the upshot will be that the mission is accomplished.  Everyone will be paying a lot more attention to the Talentless Idiot in the future--if only to see if he slips up and needs another slap on the fanny.  And since that's really all he or she ever wanted in the first place…it's all good.

I'll let you work out for yourelf where on this continuum your own editorial falls.  In reality, it doesn't matter what stance you take.  This is a dragon that feeds on attention—especially attention in the form of media coverage.  Every gallon of ink and minute of air time makes it bigger and stronger.  But the name of the dragon is not "Crudity", my friend; the name of the dragon is "Controversy".  And it does, indeed, live at the top of a mountain of gold—everyone who visits leaves a coin, and you were no exception.

For obvious reasons, I don't usually bother to respond to editorials like yours.  This time, however, a friend of mine forwarded me the link to your article, and I realized that I had to respond.  Because you could not be content with the hypocrisy- and cant-ridden Wheeze of the Media Moralist—you actually saw fit to libel another journalist in the process.

I'm speaking of John Bloom, a.k.a. "Joe Bob Briggs", whose work you castigated as "cruel and racist" in your ridiculous rant.  His work is not and has NEVER been either of those things.  He is guilty of having been controversial at times--absolutely.  He's a satirist and a humorist, as anyone familiar with his work would know, and sometimes people don't get the jokes, or don't find them funny.

This was the case, years ago, when a whole lot of people got worked up because he wrote a "Weird Al"-style parody of "We are the World" called "We Are the Weird".  Some humorless idiot who wore his underwear too tight decided that Joe Bob was "making fun of starving African children" with that song. Mayhem followed--with the predictable results.

The fact that people are upset by a joke because they don't get it, however, doesn't mean that the joke was ever intended to harm anyone.  Nor that the joke was motivated by hatred, or a desire to cause others pain.  If you have a sense of humor about yourself—or a sense of proportion about ANYTHING—you are likely to find Joe Bob funny at least once in a while--regardless of what age, gender, or race you are. After all, the real object of John Bloom's most biting satirical humor is…himself.  He cannot ever write as Joe Bob without parodying, pillorying and mocking himself, as the eternal stereotype of the Southern white Angle-Saxon male.

Anyway, I personally think that you owe John Bloom AND your readers an apology, because quite frankly you lied to the people who read your column outright, when you told them that Joe Bob said anothing about "stupid negros".  You also committed libel and printed something grotesquely inaccurate and defamatory, which is hardly the standard of "humane and honest discourse" that you claim to uphold.

Further, I would suggest in the future that if you are going to write anything about another writer's work, that you actually try reading some of it.  Joe Bob has a website where a lot of his articles and editorials are archived—I'm pretty sure you'd be able to find it, since your article proves that you're capable of typing "joebobbriggs".  Just add the "dot com" at the end and you're all set.

If you actually go to that site, and get started reading, it's not likely you'll want to stop.  Because John Bloom is, in actuality, one of America's great voices of both humor and truth.  No, he has never and he WILL never throw around racial slurs like popcorn, or express real authentic hatred for another human being.  But when he writes as Joe Bob, he sure as hell will mock every idol, tease every hypocrite, and tip every sacred cow—all while producing irreverent and hilarious reviews of some of the worst, goofiest, lowest-budget movies ever made.

The rest of the time, when he writes as John Bloom, he's merely brilliant, incisive and extremely well-informed.  His work is often marked by sensitivity, compassion and humanity as well.

As I said, you should visit his site as soon as possible.

Maybe you might learn something.

--Arinn Dembo

Currently reading : Buried Secrets: Truth and Human Rights in Guatemala By Victoria Sanford Release date: 21 August, 2004

7:08 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

I want this on a t-shirt.
Current mood: amused
Category: Religion and Philosophy

This is what I was able to do with the cool gag software at This Fun Website. 'Nuff said.

Currently reading : Buried Secrets: Truth and Human Rights in Guatemala By Victoria Sanford Release date: 21 August, 2004

7:09 PM - 1 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I have offended Chairman Mao!
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Games

Since my latest game has been released, there have been a number of...interesting responses to my science fiction background for the game.  I have been repeatedly taken to task, for example, by Neo-Conservative gamers who feel that I have painted a "gloomy" future for the human race, fully of "politically correct" environmentalism and "leftie cliches".

Today, however, I read this review of "Sword of the Stars" which was posted by the Maoist International Movement.

Truly, I have never been so happy in my life.  I have gotten plenty of attention for my creative work in various venues--voice-acting, modeling, writing, photography--but of all the reviews I have ever received, positive and negative, in any field of endeavor...I have never been made so incredibly happy by ANY review as I was by this one.

See...what this means is...that I have managed to deeply, MORTALLY offend not only members of the Neo-Conservative American Right...but ALSO the uber-Communist Left...

...with the exact same piece of work!

And you know what this means, don't ya kids?

It means I must be telling the truth.

God I love being an artist.  Merry Christmas, everyone!

--Arinn

Currently reading : The Buchenwald Report By David A. Hackett Release date: August, 1997

6:14 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Personal Demons
Current mood: busy
Category: Art and Photography

Just realized today that I have been so busy with my classes at the University of Tennessee that I forgot to share a wonderful new piece of artwork, which I received at the end of August from the amazing artist Stacie Ponder.

For those unfamiliar with her work, Ponder is a brilliant humorist as well as a gifted penciller and inker.  Although she has worked on a number of conventional big-company comics, she has also developed a very personal style of art which she uses to express her own quirky sense of humor and her personal fascinations--relationships, cheesy horror movies, and the ridiculous side of life.

Her stylish stick-comics are now available on Webcomics Nation under the title Tuesday Toons, and I would highly recommend that everyone check them out...but just for your personal edification, here is a Stick Portrait which Ms. Ponder did for me--to illustrate my column at Pretty-Scary.net, "Personal Demons".

Yes, this is Yours Truly, writing about all the things I love.  Enjoy, and check out Stacie Ponder!  True artists are rare in this world, and all of them need your support.

--Arinn

Currently reading : Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit By Daniel Quinn Release date: 01 May, 1995

6:30 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Me and Dante...Alighieri
Current mood: amused
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

Every once in a while, I get a result from one of these on-line quiz deals which is NOT entirely full of crap, and the shock about kills me.

"You scored as Dante Alighieri. According to you most of humanity will spend at least some of their afterlife in hell.  You have a high likelihood of being exiled, but anyone as bloody fucking romantic as you deserves what they get.  You have an exceptional moral code, overshadowed by the fact that you yourself cannot uphold it.

Your existence bears a definite irony: although you are of fairly Christian morality, many pagans, satanists, communists, and intellectuals admire you and your works for all the wrong reasons. 

Also, the brightest star in your sky is never going to be your lover...

It takes a lot of grief to be the cartographer of hell."

Dante Alighieri		100%
C.G. Jung		100%
Miyamoto Musashi		92%
Friedrich Nietzsche		67%
Hugh Hefner		58%
Mother Teresa		58%
Sigmund Freud		58%
Steven Morrissey		50%
Jesus Christ		50%
Adolf Hitler		50%
Stephen Hawking		33%
Elvis Presley		25%
Charles Manson		25%
O.J. Simpson		0%

What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You?
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