Artex’s Chelsea Lament

ayup

av done summat an't a...
Artex's Chelsea Lament
tha can darnload it

www.artexmonkey.co.uk

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Le Monstre - Extract
Category: Writing and Poetry

Extract from my page in Le Monstre

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Bomfest - 2007
Category: Music

..> ..> ..>..>

BOMFEST it is tha knoz it's this sat'dy in barnsley darn oaks lane at t'miner's monument tha can catch a bus from t'new bus station in tarn or tha cud allus help global warming an walk darn but tha'll be ovvver tekken on t'way darn theear by t'bus that tha were gunna catch anyruad if tha iz walking then just dun't go too far else tha'll end up in lundwood an tha wun't want that cos the'll av thi new reeboks off thi afoor tha knowz thez all sewerts er music on t'bill summat for everyone i wun't wunder so check art t'official website cos appen the'll know mooer abart it than a do... http://www.bomfest.com

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BRIANGLOVER - THE VIDEO
Category: Music

nar then ars tha gooin on?  av got mi video up online nar for mi BRIANGLOVER song.  it's nearly 5 minutes long, and 17Mb... so if thaz a cheap un like me then tha'll av thissen a long wait while it darnloads win't tha.  but tha just knows that it's gunna bi straight art er t'top drawyer dun't tha.  tha can darnload mi BRIANGLOVER song an all while thaz at it.  thaz nowt else to do as tha?

www.artexmonkey.co.uk

Currently listening : Yes Darling, But is It Art? (Early Singles & Rarities) By Television Personalities Release date: 14 February, 1995

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BRIANGLOVER - MP3 darnload
Current mood: brianglover
Category: brianglover Music

ayup
if tha guz ter mi website tha can darnload mi new song Brianglover.  it dun't cost thi nowt ter darnload mi mp3...

www.artexmonkey.co.uk

mi lyrics...

Brian Glover
Yer know there'll never bi another
Brian Glover
There'll never bi another

He might bi dead, but am not
He might bi dead, but am not
Oh a'll give you a sample of mi skills
A'll give you a sample of mi skills
A'll give you a sample of mi skills
A rare delight
A rare delight

The night is young...
And a live on the edge
The edge of Barnsley
A live on the edge
The edge of Barnsley

Oh Brian Glover, he strikes agen

An early bath for you

Get darn befoor a come an put yer darn

Got a sweat on Casper?

8 miles high, Royston High
A said 8 miles, Royston High

Set fire to the wheelie bin
Burn it out and breathe it in
A said set fire to the wheelie bin
A said burn it out and breathe it in
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Breathe it in

Get ready, you're 2 weeks late already

Brian Glover, look one way and kick the other
Brian Glover, look one way and kick the other

Slack work lad, slack work

Brian Glover, look one way and kick the other
Brian Glover, look one way and kick the other
Look one way and kick the other
Brian Glover, oh he strikes agen
Yeah Brian, he strikes agen

Keep art er trouble lad

And that boys is how to take a penalty

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BRIANGLOVER
Current mood: BRIANGLOVER
Category: BRIANGLOVER Music

BRIANGLOVER - NEW SINGLE

Ayup av just rekewerded mi new single, Brianglover. An am gunna gerrit up online for thi ter darnload once av mixed it. I did it on bank holidy Monday rarnd at mi Mam's. Av tekken a new direction, this time av rekewerded it in my Mam's kitchen. Cos mi fatha ad occupied t'bathroom.

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Artex in the Star
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: News and Politics

Artex in the Sheffield Star, Barnsley edition

Currently reading : Looks and Smiles By Barry Hines Release date: 01 March, 2005

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Artex on TV - BBC3: Satdy 24th and 31st of March
Current mood: amused
Category: Music

Artex Monkey: Mi press release in't it...

Ayup.  Av done some filming for t'BBC an't a.  Am gunna be appearing as part of a BBC3 TV programme called "Most Annoying Pop Songs Ever".  Which is brewerdcast this Satdy neet at 9.25pm and Satdy after.  BBC3's one er them digital channels in't it.  So it's as good a time as any to get thissen a set-top box a reckon.  A wunder if t'Netto sells em?  Thez barnd to bi a bloke on Barnsley market who'll av one for thi at a reight gud price.  It probly only gets Chinese channels on it though.

 "Just a quick note to say a massive thank you
 for giving us a fantastic interview.  The directors
 were really pleased so thanks for enabling it
 to happen."
- Laura Price, Assistant Producer

"Most Annoying Pop Songs Ever":

An affectionate, light-hearted, countdown of 100 classic pop hits that stormed the music charts and secured their place in our hearts. It's a mixture of those catchy songs you relish in private but wouldn't dare to be caught dancing to in public, or those maddening tunes that are so catchy you just can't get them out of your head. From Bryan Adams to Billy Joel, Chumbawamba to TaTu, Whitney Houston to Wings.

BBC3
Tranmission dates: Saturday 24th March and Saturday 31st March 2007.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/listings/programme.shtml?day=saturday&filename=20070324/20070324_2125_4288_11654_150

Artex Monkey:
http://www.artexmonkey.co.uk

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V.D.
Current mood: on the raz

check art mi words and what some folk think abart Valentine's Day ovver on t'Barnsley Links website 

www.barnsleysoundbites.com

Currently listening : Only Love Can Break Your Heart By Neil Young

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Soundbites - February issue - art nar!
Current mood: making snow yellow
Category: making snow yellow Music

ayup tha can darnload t'latest issue of "barnsley soundbites" online nar from http://www.barnsleysoundbites.com ...it's got mi Diarea column in it... so get thi sen ovver to barnsley soundbites an darnload it. tha can darnload all t'other issues... and it's free!

SOUNDBITES ZINE NOW AVAILABLE FOR DOWNLOAD!!
http://www.barnsleysoundbites.com/page.php?109

THIS MONTH ISSUE:
THE SHAKES INTERVIEW
DAY STREET STUDIOS
COOKING WITH SKINBOAT
THE NAKED MOLE RAT IS OUT AND ABOUT
BENSON MEETS BECCA
REVIEWS: BOM NIGHT/THE LITTLE ONES/POXON/ANTIFLOW/THE ENEMY/THE PADDINGTONS
ARTEX MONKEY ON 'RETRO FASHION'
KURT COBAIN DEAR DEL
ST.VALENTINES - THEE KNACKERS!!

STUFF TO WATCH OUT FOR THIS WEEK:
BURN DOWN THE DISCO NEWS
LUCORUM NEWS
THE DEFTONES ON TOUR
THE HUSSYS EP RELEASE
BADLY DRAWN BOY - SINGLE & CHIP SHOP TOUR!

WWW.BARNSLEYSOUNDBITES.COM

Currently listening : Part Time Punks - The Very Best of Television Personalities By Television Personalities

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dropping mi yuletide log off at mi mam's

sithi az tha got thi christmas shoppin dun yet? av dun all mine. gorritall sewerted art. well am lieing aren't a. a'll av ter gu ter leeds one er days, cos barnsley's a bit shit for shoppin in't it. ad gerrem on t'market but a dun't want any knock off stuff if tha knowz worra mean. a'll bi dropping mi yuletime log up north agen this year at mi mam's. well thaz gorra an't tha. it's traditional. an mi mam shi gets that reight thick bog roll in for christmas, in case wi av any guests... wi dun't want em thinking that wi allus buy t'cheap stuff. an a dun't wanna miss art on t'royston leets. showin blackpool a thing er too this year. nice er em to decorate traffic leets on t'wells wi christmas leets. a can see that a long though process went into that idea. decorating an area wi flashin leets wi sum mooer flashin leets. cud bi a bit confusing for t'motorists though. ther cud see a green leet when really it's red. a can see a nasty accident occurring. wi dun't want that at christmas time do wi? a reckon they shud move em sumwheer else. leeten up sum dark corner. alreight then have a merry old christmas and a happy new year. an mebbi a'll sithi up top er carlton muckstack on boxing day, a'll be walkin off mi christmas dinner and tranna get mi system all regular and back in wukkin order.

Currently listening : The Best of the Original Dubliners By The Dubliners Release date: 07 August, 2003

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50,000
Category: MySpace

ayup.... wiv just passed 50,000 hits on mi website! that's individual hits that is. and almost 225,000 page views... well a hope tha all liked what that saw. well tha can like it or lump it can't tha.

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Barnsley Soundbites: Issue 3
Category: Music

get thissen ovver ter Barnsley Soundbites website at www.barnsleysoundbites.com ...tha can read up on all sewerts er stuff an tha can darnload latest issue er the zine wi mi column in... ar dun't want to set the world on fire (a got that all art er mi system in mi early years)... http://www.barnsleysoundbites.com http://www.barnsleysoundbites.com/zine/issue3.pdf

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Barnsley Soundbites - Royston Diarea
Current mood: awake

ayup sithi. tha can read mi Artex Monkey column in t'latest issue er Barnsley Soundbites zine. It's free if tha can gerroddera copy. If tha wants to darnload it online then tha can do just that by visiting t'Barnsley Soundbites website. or this page an a'll... Barnsley Soundbites - Issue 2

Currently listening : Ricky Nelson - Greatest Hits By Ricky Nelson Release date: 27 December, 2005

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Artex Monkey gig in New Cross (London) - Saturday Afternoon
Category: Music

ARTEX MONKEY GIG IN NEW X
Ayup av gorra Saturday afternoon gig on an't a. It's a Saturday Special on t'11th of November, darn in London's New Cross. At "Rubbish and Nasty", 308 New Cross Rd. Doors oppen at 2pm. First band on at 3pm sharp! Line up features Tea And Toast Band, The Dirty Pins and Artex Monkey. Plus DJs! It's a FREE gig an all. Get thissen darn theear!

http://www.myspace.com/teatoastband
http://www.myspace.com/thedirtypins
http://www.myspace.com/artexmonkey

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