It’s a Wonderful LIfe
Current mood: tired
Category: Life
I just want people to be Happy!
I'm old enough to remember a time when people were happy. I'm not talking about psychotic Robin Williams happy, just happy. I believe it's not just the economy, war or even President Bush causing mainstream depression, our country has been eroding for decades.
We all laugh and make jokes about the 50's and 60's, Ozzie and Harriet, Father Knows Best, My Three Sons. I believe, a man, (a Mans Man) should go to work earn his pay and come home to his family (period). A real man knows a hard day's work is very rewarding. He knows providing for his family helps defined him. He might not like his job, but that does not matter, what matters most is providing for his family. A real man doesn't take shortcuts, he certainly doesn't take advantage, and at the end of the day he doesn't require a thank you his reward is seeing his family healthy, happy, and safe.
I also believe a woman (a real Woman) takes over household responsibilities unconditionally and without regret. Yeah, that's right, cooking cleaning is part of it, but a real woman takes pride in her home, her children and her husband. Like my mother, she knew how important her job was and how much we relied on her. Of course, she was never given enough credit. She gave unconditionally to my father, brothers, and me; she was the bond that kept us together through everything. Her reward was seeing us grow into responsible men. (I love and miss her everyday, moms are the only people that unconditionally love.)
Why are there so many divorces, why are there so many company's going out of business, why are so many people popping Cymbalta, Zoloft, and Xanax.
Because we have become a society of self centered, narcissistic spoiled spineless pussies. Oh, I include myself in the fold. What happened to showing unselfish concern for the welfare of others? Show me a politician, friend, or a boss that will put other people's interests before theirs.
I just read if I want to live in an environment were I could give and receive Unconditional love and loyalty I had better get a dog. What happened to the neighbor that you could rely on at anytime? Or, the neighbor that runs across the street to help your wife as she struggles with the groceries? What happened to the business owner that lived by the rule if you take care of your employees, they will take care of you? What happened to the employee that shows up on time, works a full day, without complaints? (can you imagine an employee that's not bitching!)
What the F*&% HAPPENED?
We all watch "It's a Wonderful Life" during the holiday season. Do you live in Bedford Falls, do you know George Bailey, what is so intriguing about this story. Well, we all know and probably work for a Mr. Potter, but what about George Bailey? Could you imagine living in a community that would come together so selfishly to help?
Why are we so full of ourselves, why do we think we are so god damn important? Can we afford to stay on the path we so arrogantly paved the last 50 years? Has there really been an original idea, thought or product in the last 50 years we just can't do without?
The most popular songs are samples from classic hits, the most popular movies are re-written from classic scripts, and how many times has the fashion world rekindled a look from the past. It seems we look to the past for answers. Marketing firms, producers, publishers, and manufacturers spend more time and resources trying to remake, rework, reinvent instead of creating something new and exciting, why is that? Because we are blinded by our own grandeur, we don't want to take a chance, spend the time or invest in something that is not a sure thing. We are no longer inspired to have or express an original thought. We live in a Cut and Paste world, it's out there, go find it, re-work it and offer it up with a side of bull shit, 'Thank you very much."
I want to live in Bedford Falls; I want to live in one of George Bailey's homes. I want to raise my family in a community that cares about one another. Moreover, I want people to be happy again.
Change We Can, Yeah Right!
Current mood: bullied
Category: Blogging
The Economic Crisis: Part I
It is easy to point fingers regarding the financial mess we're in, Obama blames Bush, Bush Blames Clinton, Clinton blames Greenspan. It is also the time to stand up and throw out some "I told ya so's." Obama says he warned the Senate and Wall Street, McCain says he warned everyone and no one wants to acknowledge Fanny and Freddy have been in the pockets of politicians for over 20 years.
This is a big problem and it will take many rescue plans on many levels to fix it. So, who is to blame? Was it the CEO's of lending institutions, was it the fact that Wall Street is non-regulated, and has been running wild for years? Did Greenspan and the Federal Reserve over react after 9/11 dropping the lending rate too low? Or, was it the millions of Americans purchasing homes they couldn't afford?
Three short years ago, the sky was the limit; just about, anyone could get credit for homes, credit lines, credit cards etc. Take Mr. & Mrs. First time homebuyer, collectively they make 50K a year. They are self-employed and hold no assets besides their vehicles and lawn equipment. With in five minutes they are approved up to $350K 30 year fixed loan or $650K Jumbo interest only 3/1 ARM loan. In addition, they were offered a line of credit based on falsely inflated home values. (We'll get back to them)
Now take Mr. Entrepreneur, his dream is to own a business that competes globally. He's armed with some phony purchase orders and a story as he walks into the bank. He doesn't have a business plan, he doesn't have a P&L statement, he doesn't use a payroll company, and his corporation is listed as an S Corp, so basically the companies checkbook can be used for anything. (We'll get back to him later)
Ok, let's look on the other side of the fence, may I present Joe Loan Processor and his boss Mr. Loan Director. It is their responsibility to make sure the bank is loaning money to people and businesses carefully. The majority of their salaries rely on how many loans are approved. Not the amount of the loans or the risk factors of the loans just the loans themselves. We are talking about a record amount of loan applications everyday. (We'll get back to them later)
What about the Rescue Package, the 700 billion dollar check forwarded to a non-partisan committee made up of politicians. Holly shit! Sorry, they were so adamant about getting this bill passed they forgot to make a plan. That's right we're not dummies that couldn't understand the plan they didn't have one. They just wanted to do something to show the American people they were doing something. To this day, the rescue plan committee has not released any funds because they are not sure what direction to take. My question is, "What was the big rush?"
So here were are, no one has received a raise in over three years, the inflation rate is beyond double digits and our number one investment, our homes is loosing value by the day.
So who's to blame?
Most of us work for small businesses, which mean companies that make under a million dollars a year. A company that has less than 50 employees, a company that is probably owned by one or two people. Let's talk about the work environment at Small Business Inc.
Mr. Company Owner and his Partner started a Database Company many years ago during the dot com era. They survived that horrid time and were able to obtain enough contracts to grow the business to 20+ employees.
Ms. Faithful Employee has worked for Small Business Inc. from the very beginning. Always the first one in and the last one to leave, she started with a small salary and was promised that when things get better she would be paid accordingly with full benefits including health care. In light of the company doing well and the small but timely increases in her salary Ms. Faithful Employee decided to purchase a home. Now this is during the loan time hey day, banks were throwing money out the windows and there was plenty of credit for all, including Mr. Company Owner and his Partner.
She purchased a home utilizing a new home loan package call a 80/10/10. 80% of loan was under a 5/1 interest only adjustable rate mortgage, 10% was a second mortgage at a slightly higher rate, and the remaining 10% was cash she was saving for her daughters education. The reason she choose this package was to avoid paying PMI and the interest only ARM would reduce her monthly payments nearly be half. She figured when it was time to re-finance or sell she would have plenty of financial room, based on her houses increased value and higher salary. Also, with the lower monthly payment, she would have opportunity to replenish her daughter's college fund.
In the mean time Mr. Business Owner decided he too could afford a larger home in a better neighborhood. In fact, his bank allowed him to keep his original home, purchase the new home and bundle both under a low interest 3/1 Jumbo ARM. He could have the home of his dreams and have an income producing property as an investment. He believed that in 3 years the values of both homes would far exceed their current value giving him room to do whatever he wanted.
Just about a month, after Ms. Faithful Employee and Mr. Business Owner closed on their new homes they received a call from Joe Loan Processor. "Hello, this is Joe have I got good news for you! I know you probably don't need it but what if I told you, your home(s) went up in value, almost 45%. If you want, we can offer you an Equity Line of Credit for 100K. All you have to do is sign the paper I'm faxing over to you, then fax it back. Your pre-approved, and the best part your payments will be interest only for the next 10 years, or until you decide to sell. There is no pre-payment penalty, what to you think?"
Well so far, everyone is a winner. Ms. Faithful Employee is in a new home, she is currently paying less then she was when renting and she has a credit line to help her daughter pay for college. She still didn't get that big raise or the benefits package but she has Faith. Although she hasn't seen Mr. Business Owner lately, she know's he's busy with his new home, boat and two new cars.
NICE MEAT, "Where are you from?"
Current mood: crunk
Category: Blogging
I was at the supermarket the other day juggling my coupons looking for the best deals when I approached the meat case. "OK, let's see, the ad says New York's are on sale for $4.95 per lb. Great, we haven't had steaks in awhile."
Have you ever-watched people at the meat case, it's quite funny. Women are the best, they know a lot about meat. I have some experience with meat myself, after being in the restaurant business for nearly half my life, I can tell a good one by one, five and up, five and down, or top butt. I'm the guy that makes a complete mess out of the meat case. I look through every package scanning for weight, color, fat content, and texture.
OK, I'm standing at the meat case going through some packages, (and by the way they were beautiful) when I hear a dry raspy voice coming from behind. "Not that one." "Excuse me," Turning to see who in their right minds would ever interrupt me while fondling my meat. "Not that one, that cow didn't get enough sleep." I locked on to the intruder, "What,… it didn't get enough sleep?"
Standing before me was a man in his early 80's, he was around 5 foot 6, balding head, glasses and his voice was scarred from years of smoking Camel non-filters. He did not answer, instead he walked to the meat case picked up a three pack and said, "look kid, look at the flesh, the opaque lines this animal did not have enough sleep before it was slaughtered." I stood amazed; I never heard that before and by the way, what's this 'kid' bullshit? Oh well, I'll let it pass. "Never have I heard the sleeping habits of a steer could damage its flesh." The old man looked as if he wanted to bitch slap me. "I worked in a slaughter house many years ago, if a steer doesn't get at least 24 hours of sleep before its slaughtered the animal will be stressed, stress causes acids and other harmful excretions to be introduced to the muscles."
The old man talked about his days as a butcher and I listened. Never letting on I was capable of selecting my own meat. Before leaving the meat case and my new meat friend, I asked, "where are you from, no wait let me guess, Jersey" The man smiled and replied, "Close, Long Island" he then added, "right church, wrong pew."
Now the reason why I'm writing this is not to brag about my super natural ability to select a fine cut of meat, or that I'm a humanitarian for talking to an lonely old man. After unloading the groceries, I thought about the old guy and how easy it was to identify his origin. Actually, living in Florida, it's pretty easy to pinpoint where most people come from mainly because many are not from here. Floridians actually get insulted if you ask, "hey are you from Jersey?" Or, "you must be from New York?" They tie that to being a Jackass. Yeah, that's right!
A person's accent, use of language, and the ability to begin or end a sentence with the word Fuck help define a person's place of origin. Additionally, your environment, personal relationships, and experiences shape who you are. I've lived in Florida for over twenty years but I still consider myself a Jersey Boy. That said, I wonder how my children will be defined as they venture away from the Sunshine State.
Can you identify a Cracker (Florida native)? If my son were standing next to you in Shop Rite somewhere in New Jersey, would you say, "You must be from Florida"? No, probably not, people from Florida never develop or refine a character type.
Florida is bland, no ethnicity, no culture, no defining trait that identifies a Floridian. Ok, we have Mexicans, White and Black people, each stay on their own side of town rarely crossing each other's boundaries. We also have old people, lots of old people. The East Coast of Florida hosts the retirees from New York and New Jersey. The West Coast is home to Michigan, Indiana, and Ohio, never the twain shall meet. In the middle, Cubans, South Americans, Mexicans and then there's guys like me.
Now let's talk about activities, 9 months out of the year it's so freaking hot down here no one goes outside. Kids don't play in their yards, people don't sit on their porches and no one goes to the beach. Yeah, that's right we hate the beach. Here's a little secret, when you folks come down to visit or, when we come up there, we go to a tanning spa to get a tan.
I guess what I'm trying to say, "I cherish the fact I'm a Jersey boy". The food, the diversity, the people, and the Jersey shore make up my character; it defines who I am and how I think. It saddens me that my children will never have the experiences or the friendships, or taste food the way it was meant to taste because for some Fucked up reason 20 years ago I decided to move to Florida. "Christ I must have been high!"
So if you're thinking that living in Florida is paradise, STOP THINKING! Taxes are high, Utilities are high, and Entertainment is high and not the good kinda high. Remember this, just because you spent a week at Disney World or one of the beach communities and everyone seemed friendly and the weather was great doesn't define the real Florida lifestyle. In fact, most of the places you visit when you're down could be transplanted anywhere.
Be happy where your living, there is nothing down here for you. Although we want you to visit, enjoy the weather see the freaking mouse, watch a shuttle take off just keep the memories. Get back in your RV's and board your planes and go back North where people are real, seasons come and go and most importantly you can get a decent pizza.
I Don’t Know What The Hell I Just Wrote
Current mood: lethargic
Category: Blogging
He woke up to the sound of talk radio. It's 6:15am one smack of the snooze button offers 10 more minutes of sleep, but he rose turning the alarm off trying to find his way in the dark.
The coffee maker is set for 6:45am so he blindly felt his way to the coffee maker power button starting the morning brew. For a moment, it seemed like any other morning but then he remembered. Suppressed thoughts of years past reaching his consciousness reminding him of better days, "what happened?"
It didn't matter if Jack was delivering newspapers, life guarding at the community pool or stocking shelves and the local Food Mart he always wanted to be the best.
After college, Jack excelled in the corporate world always promoted and exceeding everyone's expectation. He had good teachers and good mentors, but now that was long ago. Lately he feels uninspired, lazy and bored. He loathes his current position, his co-workers, and bosses. His colleagues simply don't care and the two young bosses don't possess an once of leadership. Life has become stagnant, no growth, no meaning, no control, no real money.
Days go by as he watches his co-workers play Party Poker and surf for porn while the 30 something entrepreneur's take the afternoon off, for the third time this week. What happened to the American work ethic? The work environment has changed drastically. No one, including the owners seem to care. Yet jacks stays put, because his age limits opportunity, in fact he's at a point of no return.
Jack has seen the American worker flounder triggered by the reckless behavior by today's business leaders. In earlier years, people would embrace the experience and knowledge Jack today it's considered a hindrance. The young leaders of today spend more time looking for the short path while walking the gray line of decadence.
Today the younger business owners believe deceit and manipulation are ingredients of success. This Fake it till you Make it generation has created nothing but heart ache. Each generation is supposed to be better equipped to take on new challenges. This generation has learned nothing but stealing from Peter to pay Paul.
To the 30 something entrepreneurs and leaders in today's economy, the formula for has success remained the same for hundreds of years, yet for some reason (GREED-SELFISHNESS) have replaced the lessons of the past. Hard work and consistency cannot be replaced by Laziness and Unpredictability. Character and Honesty cannot be replaced by Immorality and Lies. Take care of your customers, take care of your employees, and for God Sake be Honest. If you do these things, you will reap the benefits you desire.
Currently
listening
:
American Anthems
By
Gramercy Brass
Release date: 2002-08-27
GBE RANDON ACTS OF KINDNESS
Current mood: good
Category: Life
Random Acts
Kindness received can be random however; people that are characteristically good offer kindness regularly. So, who are these people offering a helping hand, a shred of hope, or a pat on the back? I can tell you who they're not, nobody I know.
The person who pumps coins into expiring parking meters, the dude paying for people's gas, and the woman who waves everyone on at a four way stop do so because they are good people. Let's see is there a believable story about Random Acts of Kindness I can muster up? Let's give it a try, WAIT "you first."
Lydia left her lawyers office feeling less confident and more confused then she did before. "There goes another $250 bucks, do you feel any better?" Lydia asked herself as she walked toward the parking garage elevator.
The answer is no, she does not. She approached the battered elevator doors trying to remember to snuff out her cigarette before boarding the urine stained lift that will carry her up to the 6th floor. She extinguished her butt and proceeded to push the call button. The barely readable number 6 indicated the elevator was stationary 60 feet above her head. The outer doors scared by nightly teenage abuse rendered the words "Blow Me" and "Fuck Cops."
Lydia pushed the up button several times before the call light came on, as the elevator shaft roared to life behind the crusted doors. She thought this was truly the beginning of a very bad year. She was almost out of funds, no job prospects and two kids to feed. Her high priced and often-absent lawyer relayed the not so welcomed news that the mediation with her soon to be ex husband produced nothing. "We are going to trial," John Peterson Esq. conveyed to Lydia as his hand clasped another retainer check. 'We'll let the Judge decide.' "Just fucking great" Lydia murmured as she entered the smelly elevator.
Life has really made a bad turn for Lydia and her two boys. A stay at home Mom for the past ten years she was thrown a surprise knuckle ball when her husband decided to dip his pecker in the payroll, and have an affair with the executive assistant to the President of the bank. Of course, after Ben was caught, he diligently denied the affair and begged forgiveness trying to convince everyone he was the victim of a mid life crisis.
I suppose Lydia, a God fearing Christian woman would have considered forgiveness if Ben would have come clean about the details of the affair, but he did not. Ben employed the old adage 'deny, deny, deny till you die' which caused many additional arguments leading to many sidebar conferences which at $250 per hour wipe out all of her savings. Lydia found out that Ben was not only tapping the young receptionists he was supporting her financially. After discovering the intimidate details about Ben's long lunches and late night meetings she knew that this was not just a fling. There was more here then a man wanting to hit some young ass, but what could it be?
One day, to Lydia's surprise Sandy the bank President's sex-cretary requested her presence at lunch along with Ben to try to work out the details of their divorce. Lydia believed that Sandy was genuinely concerned about more then resolving their marital issues, but what's in it for her?
The day before the luncheon Lydia found out, Sandy was pregnant with Ben's baby. Lydia reacted calmly to the news and in turn became unusually interested in meeting the women that snookered her husband's sperm. She also wondered if Ben knew about the baby.
Whether a random act of kindness or a carefully laid out plan Sandy convinced Ben to pay off the house and sign over the deed to Lydia. However, he did not agree to pay alimony or child support knowing the house balance would pretty much wipe him out. In addition, Lydia felt Sandy's unwarranted concern over Ben's treatment toward her and their sons was no less then disturbing. Lydia returned Sandy's kindness by excusing herself to grab a quick smoke outside giving Ben and Sandy a chance to talk privately.
When Lydia returned Ben stormed off leaving his wife and mistress staring at each other. Of course, Ben's behavior through lunch was new to Sandy. Most of their time together took place at roadside motel rooms in towns without names. Usually, they were intoxicated, naked and engaged in some sort of sexual activity. She was not accustomed to Ben's nasty side and frankly, she did not like it.
Even though Lydia knew about the baby, she still was confused about Sandy's intentions. Why was she being so kind to me, she asked herself while preparing for a speedy exit? "Wait," Sandy spoke stretching her hand across the table. "May I tell you something?" Lydia nodded nervously offering the time, "I am not a home wrecker." Lydia's facial reaction communicated disbelief on that statement. "I know you don't believe me, but I'm not. I did not know Ben was married until yesterday" Lydia's eyes widened as she poised to reply, "How can that be? You must have known." Sandy took the last sips of tea from her glass, she looked at the untouched food and added, "I honestly didn't know, Lydia, he lied to me too, I felt awful, that's why I asked him to lunch here today." Lydia looked perplexed, "Wait, you didn't tell him I was coming?" "No, I didn't," WOW, this changes things, Lydia wanted to ask one more question before deciding whether to hate this woman or empathized with her.
"Sandy" Lydia spoke, "When did you tell Ben about the baby?" Sandy's eyes watered as her hands wrestled through her purse looking for a tissue. "SANDY, WHEN DID YOU TELL HIM?" Lydia offered Sandy an unused napkin from the table as she answered. "I didn't." "What …you mean?" Lydia was about to restate the question when Sandy finished, "he found out today, here, in front of you."
"Why, did you decide to tell him here?" Sandy dried her face patting her eyes trying not to mess up her make-up when Lydia realized something, Sandy was incredible beautiful. Sandy released her grip on Lydia's hand, took a deep breath, and added, "When I found out Ben was married with children I lost it. I was not going to be the cause of a single Mom and her children loosing their home. I wanted to make sure he did the right thing before …" "Before what, Lydia asked, before what?" "Before I told him, I didn't want to see him anymore" Lydia fell back into the rattan chair not knowing what to say. However, what she learned was this young woman was remorseful and kind. Additionally, Sandy accomplished something that her Lawyer and $5000 could not Sandy saved her home.
My experience with Kindness supports my belief that people in general are Kind. No one intentionally wants to be a prick. Adversity and desperation cause people to be unkind or cruel to one another. However, if balance remains true for every Random Act of Cruelty or abuse there will be a Random Act of Kindness.
GBE DAMP STALKER
Current mood: blah
Category: Blogging
Damp Stalker
A long wet street separates Erin from the safety of her 1999 Altima. She never thought the support group would last as long as it did, but it was a good meeting. Alicia who finally spoke about her husband's psychological grip over their 14-year-old son and how he manipulates him into thinking she's the bad guy. Then Amber, a newbie, relived the horrifying details that led to her divorce. It's difficult not to get emotionally involved with these people and their stories.
The small down town area where the single moms club meet was deserted by 10pm. The only noise accompanying the smacking sounds of Erin's sneakers were humming tires, as cars passed over the green bridge into town. The street seemed surreal to Erin, a rainy night, a woman alone in a deserted town. A thick haze blanketed the area remnant from an early evening shower. The street lamps clouded with moister, halos distorting their illuminist glow. Another odd sound echoes off the stonework of this historic avenue, as squirrels jump between branches.
"Whistle, that's what I'll do," as Erin tried to alleviate the eerie environment she now occupied. She prepared a simple tune in her mind; while taking a long drag of thick humid air, she is ready for her performance. However, before she begins her rendition of Whistle While You Work, another unwelcome auditory event occurred several feet behind. Stopping dead in her tracks, neck hairs standing at attention, and goose flesh rapidly flowing over her body insulated the sound of her beating heart.
What seemed like eternity were only moments, should she turn to inquire, should she speed her pace or ignore it. Her stomach tightens as bile begins to boil followed by an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. She quickens her pace while trying to hone in on any sound other then a hungry squirrel or her own feet.
Footsteps, she heard footsteps. Deceptive tiptoe steps, footsteps intending to deceive. If not for the damp streets, she would have never heard the tap followed by a skid from the sneaky assailant's shoe. Erin's body responding unfavorably reminding her, she should have stopped in the restroom before leaving the hall, hence the nervous release of urine passing through her panties down her leg. She suddenly recalls her self-defense training taken soon after her divorce. Scream, as loud as you can, she remembers is the first line of defense. Erin selected her words and began to shout, "I have mace you Mother Fucker, the real shit, Not just pepper spray" She now felt a rush of boldness as she continued towards her car.
Another sound this time a can hitting the sidewalk flanked her left ear followed by tapping feet echoing to her right. "My Keys, where the fuck are my keys" Erin questioned herself as she finally clasped the large key ring from her purse. She painstakingly started to weave each key between her fingers. Another lesson learned in self-defense class, "keys are a weapon." Struggling to finish the weapon Erin fumbles with her purse dropping to the street. "FUCK!"
Should she go to the car or pick up her purse, which would leave her less vulnerable? Erin surveyed the area looking for any signs of danger. There was none, her heart racing out of her blouse, panting like a sprinter after a race. She tried to calm herself down. "Look at me, a grown women scared of a little noise for Christ sake. What a fucking idiot I am."
Her heart rate dropped to 80 and her breathing steadied to a normal pattern. Erin turned again to look at her surroundings and with her newfound bravery picked her purse up, and headed towards the car.
When she was 10 feet away, she started to pry the car keys from her fingers. The venomous grip caused her skin to bleed. As she targeted the keyhole jabbing in the shadows, she was startled by a figure within her peripheral vision. The figure moved closer causing uncontrollable switching rendering the keys useless.
Once again, her training paid off as Erin reached in her purse for a can of mace. Holding the sprayer in the direction of her assailant she shouted, "I warned you Mother Fucker, now eat this!" Erin focused down her arm at the target with her finger on the nozzle.
At last, face to face Erin's eyes met her intruder causing her to recoil immediately loosening her grip on the can. Finally, in focus, standing before her, an old woman stood frozen as the chloroacetophenone gas rolled down her fingers. Hearing a voice similar to her grandmothers, "Honey, you got some mouth on you, are you alright?" Erin lowered her arm releasing the can realizing she was about to burn the eyes of an old women.
"Oh for Christ Sakes lady you scared the piss out of me" Looking bewildered, the old women replied, "listen dear I just stepped out a second ago, are you on the pot or the crack?" Erin's body relaxed leaving her flush as she apologized "no ma'am I'm not taking the pot or crack I just got spooked down the street, I'm sorry." The women nodded her head then added, "Well you need to calm down and mind your language you have a foul mouth." "Yes ma'am I will, again I apologize"
The women continue down the long dark street as Erin picked the mace up and opened the car door. She through her purse toward the passenger side and flopped into the driver seat. Erin felt she was never really in danger, although happy to use some of the self-defense techniques she learned.
Now safe in her car Erin reached over looking for a tissue in her purse when she realized the passenger seat was wet, really wet. It was then everything seemed to move in slow motion. She turned her head to see if the side window was open, but it was not. Then she slowly turned to look at the rear view mirror, which was angled downward. She raised her hand to adjust the mirror while remembering another lesson from the self-defense class, check the back seat before entering the vehicle.
She looked into the mirror only to see a set of familiar eyes staring back. Her last memory was of a damp hand clutching her lips as the cold steel blade dragged across her throat soaking her blouse.
I was pondering about 2008 when a colleague of mine asked, "so what do you see for the rest of this year?" Well the year is half over, and most of you don't know what I've been faced with let me say this, "it hasn't been fun. Setting aside the health of my children and ex-wife this year has been pretty shitty."
2008 is a runaway train jumping from track to track No one can stop it, the only thing we can do is avoid it. The rescue of 2008 has been changed to a recovery operation. The only thing we can do for the rest of this year is, Damage Control. There will also be collateral damage that must be handled with a steady mind and full heart. There are many things that need to be corrected, wrongs that need to be right, a new track built, headed in the opposite direction of 2008. New rails shiny and smooth built to last, built for comfort. That track will lead us to a new station, a station of hope, a station of dreams.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Current mood: bummed
Category: Life
I guess there is no real way to prepare for a parents death. This year has pretty much sucked since the ball dropped and it doesn't look like it's getting any better. My mom who is 79 years old has been in and out of the hospital for several minor procedures over the last 12 months. Each time she went in they gave her a complete exam, xrays, sonogram, blood, urine. Four weeks ago, she went through a complete stress test. Everything always comes back with a little good news and a few things to work on. Well two days ago, she experienced a shortness of breath and pain in her side, my dad call 911. They stabilized and transported her to the medical center.
They administer the standard exam again, x-rays, blood urine, eKg. When the resident doctor came to talk to my parents, he said, "She has a lime sized growth on her left lung." My parents and their doctor were caught completely off guard. Just four weeks prior, my mother was here for x-rays.
Two sets of x-rays shot weeks apart, one image is clean and the comments on record state, 'pretty good condition, considering the patient has been smoking for 60 years.'
The new image shows a dark mass in her left lung, a mass that was not there one month ago. Of course, our doctor had to convey the possibilities with cancer being the top concern. Well today, she had a biopsy; of course, everything is put on hold until we have all the information. The Doctor said, "he saw nothing that would sway him either way, we have to wait for the lab result (6 to 10 days) 'UGGGH!!!"
I probably will not spend too much time here, or maybe I will. Anyway, say a prayer, light a candle, bang your head on a wall, whatever you can do to tender good thoughts towards my Mom.
Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams
Current mood: pleased
Category: Life
HE DID THIS FOR HIS CHILDREN
Every once in a while you're introduced to someone that touches your soul. I did not know this man until today, nor will I ever have the opportunity to meet him. However, through his writings and one famous lecture I am happy to know that there was someone like him on this planet.
Today, Randy Pausch died at the age of 47 after fighting a long battle with Pancreatic Cancer. I did not know Dr. Pausch until I opened the Yahoo News site to see what was going on in the world. The headline 'Internet Inspiration Dies' caught my eye and I thought "gee, this guy must have worked with Al Gore, because we all know that Al Gore invented the internet."
I was compelled to find out who this person was, so I clicked ">> more on this story." Professor Pausch died this morning "yada, yada, yada" survived by wife Jai "Ah, and interracial couple" and their three kids, "oh that's going to be tough on them." Pausch was best known for his lecture at Carnegie Mellon University, "yada, yada, yada" after it became an overnight sensation on YouTube. "Oh, that's what they meant by Internet Inspiration" as I'm about to click the back button and read the real news something else caught my eye.
"This lecture is for my kids, I originally titled it the Last Lecture. The subtitle "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams was added right before I appeared at the University." "Ok I'm interested," I read on, how do you write a lecture knowing it will be your last. "OK I'm hooked."
I read the entire lecture, and watched the video, Yes I cried.
I'm including his picture and a link to his lecture found on YouTube. If you didn't know this guy hey, neither did I but his words really hit home. Maybe because I'm 46 and have 3 children, maybe because I didn't achieve any of my childhood dreams, maybe I'm a little jealous. Anyway, when you have time check this cat out, I believe he has it going on, "yo"
WHAT THE FLUG TAG
Current mood: confused
Category: Sports
FLUGTAG SUCKED!!!
Most of you have heard of the Red Bull Flug Tag Fly in event. Coke and Red Bull held the Flug Tag here in Tampa this past weekend. Of course, for me I could not give a Flug about the event but my 16-year-old son was very excited and wanted to see it. So, I drove to Tampa (40min) and took my 16 year old 3 of his friends, my daughter 12 and my little one who is 4. (Yeah I know I'm a Flugin idiot)
Anyway, the event was a complete disaster. Tampa bay consists of several man made fingers or small peninsulas, the waterways are about 300 yards wide. The Flug Tag event was on the waterside of the TampaConvention Center.
There isn't a whole lotta real estate there to put down some lawn chairs and a cooler (which were not allowed) to watch this event. Red bull had one big screen monitor across the channel broadcasting the event, they needed at least five more. It was over 95 degrees and humid. There were no misting stations and not enough beverage stands to support the crowd of 100000 peeps.
The thing that pissed my son and me off was the VIP sections. They rope, and curtain draped off the best locations inside and out. There were no viewing areas for the public. In addition, they weren't selling any souvenirs, no hats, t-shirts, cups I couldn't believe it. They ran out of the Flug tag calendars before the event started.
I just wanted to get something for my kids to remember this day, and remind them never to ask me here again.
So, to recap, the location was too small for a crowd of 100000. There were no heat relief stations (people were dropping like flies). There wasn't enough beverage stations, and only one outside food vendor. You couldn't see unless you were a VIP. Finally, Red Bull and Coke didn't sell any souvenirs. The marketing department screwed that up as well. Somebody really needs to get their ass handed to them.
tired
bullied
crunk
lethargic
good
blah
ditzy
confused
