Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 26
Sign: Libra
City: Chicago
State: Illinois
Country: US
Signup Date:
09/12/05
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Blog Archive
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[02 Sep 2008 | Tuesday]
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6:45 PM - i’m famous!
no not in the least...but still flattered so i thought i'd share this nice young mans page for helping me out
i have an account on deviant art with some of my stuff i have done and a local hip hop artist in the Netherlands wanted to use one of my drawings for his album cover...here's the link to the page with some of his music and my pic:
BRUTAL BASS
oh and FYI season 4 of THE OFFICE!!!! comes out today...gotta go! my best buy discount has kicked in and i really need to control my urge to spend money on music and movies...hell it was hard to do that when i DIDN'T have a discount
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Currently
listening
:
Winter Passing Original Soundtrack
By
Original Soundtrack
Release date: 2006-02-21
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[04 Jun 2008 | Wednesday]
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1:50 AM - things are looking up
Current mood:  breezy
We went to Bahama Breeze yesterday for my sister's b-day and as usual I ordered the infamous chicken tortilla soup. While digging through the layers of corn chip strips, his little kernel head caught my eye...
Now if nothing else made me smile all day, that certainly did...I am now going to be known as the girl with a happy kernel as her good luck charm...could be worse things to be known for I'm sure
SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Currently
listening
:
The Best of UB40, Vols. 1 & 2
By
UB40
Release date: 2005-11-21
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[02 Apr 2008 | Wednesday]
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9:20 PM - another one bites the dust
This is sad for me because I was born here...26 long years ago...and now its gone...forever 
St. Francis Hospital In Blue Island To Close Decision Comes After Years Of Losses, Failed Attempts At Sale BLUE ISLAND, Ill. (CBS) ? St. Francis Hospital and Health Care Center in south suburban Blue Island will soon close, the parent company of the hospital announced Wednesday.
SSM Health Care, which operates the hospital at 12935 S. Gregory St. in Blue Island, plans to keep the facility open until the Illinois Facilities Planning Board and Public Health Department grant approval to close it, the company said in a news release.
SSM has invested more than $75 million to upgrade the hospital, but still lost millions per year. Since 2002, the hospital has lost $40 million, and it is projected to lose $20 million this year alone, SSM said.
The company tried to offset the losses at St. Francis by building a sister hospital in Orland Park, but an application for the hospital was denied. Other plans to establish a presence on Orland Park failed, as did a plan to transfer the hospital to another faith-based system. No other company would even take the hospital for free, SSM said.
Finally, the decision came to close the hospital, SSM said.
"Unfortunately, in spite of St. Francis’ outstanding clinical reputation, reimbursement from commercial insurers could not cover the cost of providing care to the growing number of Medicaid and uninsured patients," she said. "Currently, 1 out of every 2 people who come to the Emergency Department and 1 of out 4 people who are admitted to the hospital either have no health insurance or are covered by Medicaid. Most of the people without insurance cannot afford to pay us anything, and Medicaid pays us less than what it costs us to provide care. No hospital can survive over the long term without being able to cover its costs."
"I’m going to be sorry to see it go simply because I got four grandkids all my grandkids were born here," said Blue Island resident Earl Jackson.
"It’s a depression; it’s like the Second World War," said Blue Island Mayor Donald E. Peloquin. "This hospital is 102 years old it’s a cornerstone in our downtown business district."
The hospital has 1,400 employees. The company hopes to find places for them at its other Midwest facilities.
An on-site Home Care and Hospice operation, which has another 50 employees, will also close if a buyer cannot be identified, SSM said.
(© MMVIII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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[01 Mar 2008 | Saturday]
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1:12 PM - life is short...cherish it while you can
Current mood:  disgusted
My best friend just found out her canine best friend has terminal bone cancer. I have issues with cancer. I'm so tired of it. My grandmother, my mother, my aunt, my dog, now her dog, people I know, people who know people I know, not to mention I work in a hospital so I'm surrounded by it 7 days a week...I'm just tired of it. Its so unfair. There are so many people out there who don't take care of themselves, just give away there life intentionally, they smoke, they drink, they eat like crap, they don't take their medications like they are supposed to (especially people with diabetes)...and then there are those who take care of themselves, do everything the right way, love their life...and it gets taken away from them and they have no choice in the matter. I have issues with death to begin with but I suppose I have deeper issues when it happens for no reason at all. My mom's close friend died two weeks ago in a fatal car accident, and now my dad's friend who I've known since I was a baby died from a heart attack/fatal car accident a few days ago. I just know I value my life and value the lives of everyone I care about. I don't know how I will handle the day when someone close to me dies. In fact I shouldn't have brought it up because I don't want to think about it period. But this is for you duchess...love you and will miss you. Enjoy your last 6 months of life.
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[13 Feb 2008 | Wednesday]
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1:54 AM - run lola run!
Current mood:  awake
haha wonder how true this is....
Som Patidar - All Headline News Staff Writer
Hamburg, Germany (AHN) - A Study by Hamburg Sex Research Professor Dr. Werner Habermehl claimed that women with red hair have more sex than other.
The study, which was conducted on sex lives of hundreds of German women, says that the fiery red haired woman certainly lives up to her reputation.
Habermehl told Daily Mail that, "Even women in a fixed relationship are letting their partners know they are unhappy if they dye their hair red. They are saying that they are looking for something better."
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Currently
watching
:
Amelie
Release date: 16 July, 2002
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[30 Jan 2008 | Wednesday]
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11:28 PM - censor this!
Current mood:  sick
I was looking through some old notebooks from high school the other day and i used to be really big into collages and collecting quotes and poems...and i wanted to repost some of my faves...i don't know who wrote them (wasn't signed) so they are anonymous i suppose...but thank you to the brilliant people who wrote them
...but we can't say "fuck" on tv
Women get raped and then they're accused
Babies ger killed overseas
Industrial waste is poured into the ocean
But we can't say "fuck" on tv
Carbon dioxide is what we'll inhale
From burning rainforest trees
Aerosol cans puncture Earth's precious shield
But we can't say "fuck" on tv
We censor things children already know
They learn it in school from their peers
But our kids may not live even to speak those words
When the face of the Earth disappears
Let's educate, not stifle
Talk of love, not of rifles
Focus on the problems that will ultimately matter
Not some worthless little peice of explicit chatter
The government spends on invisible planes
The homeless are friends to disease
Experiments needlessly kill household pets
But we can't say "fuck" on tv
Political prisoners rotting in cells
For thinking a bit differently
Apartheid's a fancy word for prejudice
But we can't say "fuck" on tv
Safety is a Trap
Safety is a trap
It painlessly pulls you in
And makes you wonder what's outside
You won't fall any further
Than a certain point
And that stagnation we call comfort
But confort, though it doesn't hurt
It numbs you just the same
And leaves you craving passion
That's trapped inside the pain
The comfort tries to hide
Safety is a drug
That shelters you from freedom
Shoot up with the same old needle
When something's going to change
Too afraid to see what happens
If you don't try to resist
Safety is an addiction
In time it's bigger than you
It keeps you in a little space
And leaves you wondering what's outside
Without the drive to find
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[24 Jan 2008 | Thursday]
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7:43 PM - life is good...so why can’t you stop worrying
Current mood:  calm
Various excerpts from an interesting article by Stephanie Dolgoff in the November SELF magazine...I find that needlessly worry about MANY things that create much added stress in my life that I could do without...and I know I'm not the only one...I frequently encounter people on a daily basis that worry about everything from finances the health to family etc etc etc...not that some worry isn't healthy...but you will see what I mean...read on...
"I open my eyes with a start, like the murderous freak in the slasher movie the audience thinks is dead but isn't. The clock reads 3:55 A.M. I've awakened within six minutes of this time for the past three nights. I shut my eyes and take a breath, hoping to ease back to sleep. Too late. The anxiety is already gathering momentum, my brain roiling with thoughts that have no business being there in the middle of the night. It's like a Law & Order episode in my head: Opposing sides argue and counterargue, witnesses are badgered, lawyers shout objections. I bang the gavel and demand silence so I can get some rest. That works for a minute, then the ruckus begins again.What am I so anxious about?"...
"I've learned that I can't go around complaining about my baseless worries to just anyone. The last time I mentioned my middle-of-the-night episodes to an acquaintance, she essentially told me to get myself some real problems, then treated me to a litany of her own. Yet anxiety that prevents a person from relishing life even when things are going swimmingly is a genuine problem....Feeling good is like going up in a roller coaster—you know the drop is coming. It's hard to enjoy being lifted up if you know what's on the other side. The trouble with this kind of thinking, familiar with it as I am, is that girding yourself for the downturn doesn't necessarily soften the landing, not to mention that it makes it tough to take pleasure in the good times. Clearly, this is no way to live, so I decided to find out why people like me can't stop worrying and if it's possible for us to change our ways. When I start calling experts, they confirm that even happy events, such as a promotion, can be fraught with uncertainty for us. ("Is the company solid?") As for why we agonize, "Worriers hope to gain a feeling of sureness," says Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D., author of The Worry Cure (Three Rivers Press). "They want to avoid disappointment or staunch a problem before it gets out of control."
"But there needn't be a specific life event like a wedding for worriers to kick it into high gear. The mere fact of things going smoothly can be enough to set the courtroom drama in motion. "People don't worry so much about losing a dollar as they worry about losing $100,000. In other words, when everything is going well in your life, you have more to lose. It's normal to be aware of that and worry about it," Leahy says. What's not normal is when you trip over your worry as soon as you step out of bed and it follows you around all day like a pesky younger sibling, begging to be noticed."
"A study in Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy found that fully 85 percent of the things we worry about never occur."
"Still, in a world of drive-by shootings and tsunamis, I'm reluctant to part with my worrying ways. "Could it be that things work out well so often because of what we worrywarts do to prevent our concerns from happening?" I ask Tom Borkovec, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at Penn State University at University Park and lead author of the worry study mentioned above."
"Borkovec says. "There is no positive purpose for worry." Ouch. But what of productive worry? "The fact that you do useful stuff based on your worry does not mean the worry is necessary." "I tried to think of a trip I'd taken or a story I'd written that didn't involve some degree of worry, worry I'd always credited with helping me get the job done. If I hadn't been so anxious about establishing my career, getting married and having children before my eggs expired, I'm not sure I'd have had the drive to do those things. There's a name for the kind of worry that contributes to a positive outcome: defensive pessimism. "Defensive pessimists think they need to be a bit scared to stay motivated," Borkovec notes. "They use worry as a reminder to work hard and not take anything for granted. But it can be a problem if the worry gets paralyzing." I think of my nightly wake-ups. It's not surprising that these episodes not only take a toll emotionally but can be physiologically harmful, as well." "That's because worriers tend to be in a state of perpetual physical arousal—wired, tense and fatigued. Indeed, one study found that anxious people go to the doctor more often than calmer types, though it's debatable if this is because their worried state is causing physical problems or because they fret that every headache is a brain tumor. I haven't had any brain tumor scares, but my 4 A.M. fretting sessions leave me feeling zombielike, with no energy to do anything except...worry." "The worst part about being a platinum member of the worry club is that, more often than not, when fretters bite their nails, they sometimes create bona fide things to worry about in the process. I've known women in new relationships that are going along happily, who have still felt compelled to constantly seek reassurance from their partner—"Just tell me you want to break up with me now instead of torturing me!" The result? They drive said partner away, resulting in the feared outcome. "No matter how many times the person answers yes to the question 'Do you love me?' it doesn't do any good. A worrier thinks, Is he only saying that to make me feel better? Or, What if he changes his mind tomorrow?" Leahy explains. "They're so intolerant of uncertainty that they'd rather be sure that something isn't going to work than endure not knowing what is going to happen." "Low self-esteem can also perpetuate the worry cycle, according to Alexander Rich, Ph.D., a consultant at the Department of Mental Health Law and Policy at the University of South Florida in Tampa. "Rather than attribute their successes to their lovableness, competence or skills, worriers may say, 'Well, I was lucky that time.' Or 'It's only because I worked 10 times harder than anyone else.' That kind of thinking leaves you feeling inadequate, whatever you accomplish." "Other chronic fretters get anxious for the opposite reason: They assume they have more influence over events than they do. "They believe everything is up to them," Leahy says. If they are throwing a party and notice a guest looking unhappy, they might decide that their fête is a flop, when the reason for the guest's gloom is that she had a fight with her husband beforehand. "If you always think, What did I do wrong? you're probably giving yourself too much credit," Leahy adds." "So what's behind this unnecessary stressing? Surprisingly, though excessive worry is assumed to be the product of an overly emotional way of thinking, research suggests that worrying may be a way for the overwrought brain to decrease emotions. Some experts say that worriers try to strategize and anticipate—cognitive activities that occur in a different brain region from where emotions are processed. Lots of activity in the thinking region may make experiencing feelings—sadness, joy, anything but angst—nearly impossible."
"The problem with this pattern is that "big worriers don't get to learn from experiencing fear, joy or whatever emotion they're subconsciously trying to avoid," Borkovec continues. I believe this. When I'm worrying—say, about gaining back 5 pounds I've lost—it feels as if I'm doing something to keep the weight off. But I'm not, especially if I ease my anxiety with bags of M&M's. In fact, lately I've been too busy worrying to get to the gym and exercise, let alone learn anything. Borkovec says that if I'd let myself feel my emotions instead of worrying them away, I could teach myself to distinguish between what's harmful and what is safe and perhaps discover that I can cope with the dangers I fear (e.g., weight gain), should they come to pass. "Any big emotion—even a positive one—can trigger worry in otherwise rational thinkers," Borkovec says. "It's as if all emotions become red flags."
"The fear of jinxing things if you allow yourself joy is part of the very human desire to believe that we are in control of events. "People have a mistaken belief in a just world, which means that if you've had success, you're due for bad times," Rich says. "But bad times are not caused by success." "Breaking the perpetual worry cycle takes separating unproductive fretting from the kind of problem solving that helps everyday life run more smoothly. In my experience, it also takes noticing when my knee-jerk angst has a tendency to bubble up and seeing it as a sign that an emotion or two may be trying to break free. I've lived long enough by now to see that most of my worries have never come to pass. Clearly, life's ratio of anxiety to joy is tipped in my favor. For now, I'm doing my best not to worry about that."
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[07 Jan 2008 | Monday]
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3:33 AM - year in review
Current mood:  contemplative
Of course, like many people do, I am sitting here thinking...what the hell happened to 2007??? Another year down the drain...getting older...bla
Then I started thinking about everything that happened to me last year...and it really was an amazing year for change...good and bad of course. So what happened in 2007, lets see...
CON: I started off the year just a week out of a break-up that I was not handling very well...ya know all that crap thought I was going to die alone, depressed, whatever. I am now single again, sigh.
PRO: So whats so bad about being single? I have had time for myself that I would have never had if I were in a relationship. This is one of the most important times in my life in terms of education and the time I have put in this year learning new things will benefit me forever. Not to mention, once you get over all that sadness and pain, you learn from the mistakes in the relationship. Things start to look clearer and you realize everything was not as perfect as it seemed. In the end though, we are still friends...and I wouldn't change a thing.
CON: I found out some scary health info and ended up having to have minor surgery (that did not come at a minor cost)...not to mention my blood pressure was in the 150's. I also put on some weight in '07 which I am not happy about.
PRO: I caught my problem in time and was able to prevent any further damage from taking place. I have learned from that and will now be aware that I need to be more serious when it comes to my health. I also am going to work towards getting back on an exercise plan and a normal sleeping schedule. Things are reversible sometimes and when they are, TAKE ADVANTAGE of it before it isn't.
CON: Went on some bad dates :(
PRO: Went on some very good dates....maybe no love connection but made some cool friends that I plan on keeping.
CON: I got shuffled out into the middle of nowhere for an internship at a site I did not pick. I am even further away from home than I was when I was at EIU.
PRO: Turns out its not as bad as I had first thought. The people I work with are all really cool and very helpful. I am not just saying this because they may read it at some point either lol...its true. I couldn't have asked for better mentors.
CON: Went to Vegas...some may not see this as a con but for those of you who were in Vegas with me...you know why this was a bad experience for me 
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so don't ask!
PRO: I guess I got a tan?
CON: My mom's chihuahua was in and out of the doggie ER and after many months of sickness and thousands of dollars spent, she was finally diagnosed with lupus.
PRO: She means the world to my mom and she is now okay. She is on steroids and immunosuppressive drugs and has done remarkably well the last few months, despite her centrally located weight gain which makes her wobble (its pretty cute actually but not good for her joints). She is okay and we are all very happy to still have her around. She brings a great deal of joy to those she is close too. Although, for others, I might stay away if I were you, she can have a nasty streak lol.
CON: Horrible ice storm here a few weeks ago. Read previous blog for details. NOT FUN.
PRO: I survived unscathed and I don't own, I rent...thank god.
Some other cool things that happened...
-I got to be on TV! and maybe will be broadcast on the web one day when my cooking demo gets put up
-I met a lot of new friends this year that I really appreciate and hope to have their friendships forever.
-I was published in an academic journal...how bout them apples? :)
-I also got straight A's my last semester of school. For those who were in my classes, some know this was not so difficult to do....but for many classes, it was DAMN hard.
-I went to Canada for the first time ever and met some family I had never met for the first time. We are good friends now and I hope to establish even greater relationships with them in the future. PLUS Toronto was sooooo awesome.
-I have broadened my public speaking skills quite a bit and went to some local colleges to speak about nutrition as well as give an hour presentation on a topic I never thought I'd master in front of the DEAN OF MY DEPT yikes. Its all good though.
-I saw the absolute coolest shows ever this year...between shows in the city and lollapalooza...I'm addicted to live shows. I plan on attending many MANY more in the future (so if anyone knows of any good shows coming of, feel free to share).
-I went indoor rock climbing, that was fun.
Things to look forward to in 2008....
-Finishing my internship (only 4 more months I can't even believe it...out of 19 months only 4 more!)
-Graduation (not looking forward to comp exams though eek)
-Taking my RD exam, PASSING, then becoming and RD
-Getting my first REAL job out of college...and real paycheck
-Moving back to Chicago
-More cool concerts
-Getting back in better physical shape
-Getting myself in better financial shape
-Meeting the love of my life...if that exists
-Trying some more adventurous things
-Posibbly going to SPAIN!!!!!!!!!! yay :)
I know 'm forgetting so many things...but this is good for now.
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Currently
listening
:
Love + Pain
By
Clor
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[13 Dec 2007 | Thursday]
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3:18 PM - let there be light
Current mood:  sneezy
Where do I begin??? To make a long story short, I've been carless, phoneless, internetless, powerless, and heatless all at some point this week. On Saturday, Jacksonville, Il was hit with the worst ice storm sine 1978 apparently. Aren't I so lucky to be a witness to this wonder? I think Sufjan sang a song about Jacksonville too...but he didn't talk about this crap.
Thursday it snowed...I went to roll down my car window to get the snow off and the drivers side window wouldn't roll back up again...the switch died or something. Its still at Ford (waiting on a part) but I had no car for 2 days until they decided to offer me a rent a car (which I still have a week later).
Then Friday my cell phone decides to not be of service to me any more. Still have no idea why...luckily Saturday morning when I got the rent a car I went and got a prepaid phone. The nearest Verizon is 45 minutes away and I knew there was bad weather coming so I was pretty much stranded. Im so glad I got that phone now (still using it).
Late Saturday night it started to pour...thunder, lightning...the usual thunderstorm I thought nothing of it...and of course the night owl that I am I was up all night that night. I started to hear these weird crunching noises around 5 am. I thought they were snow plows or something. Then I heard a louder noise of the like right ourside my window. I look outside and EVERYTHING was completely covered in inches of ice. It was amazing...yet scary at the same time...and I'm watching from my door step limbs 40 ft up in the air crashing to the ground. THANK GOD they didnt fall on my car...I wasn't parked under a tree. From what I have heard, many other towns people have no been so lucky. These limbs knocked down power lines (leaving 10,000 powerless-including me), fences, broke through garages, blocked off roads everywhere. I fell asleep Sunday afternoon figuring not much I can do anyways and woke up to a pitch black frozen apt. My pre-paid phone starts ringing and my aunt from Decatur (town about 75 miles N) calls and says they declared Jacksonville a state of emergency. People were staying in shelters to keep warm and I guess the colleges even opened up to let people stay. I'm sitting here thinking you've got to be kidding me! I stumbled around and found a lighter and luckily had a few tealights. Threw some blankets on me and took a shitload of benadryll and prayed I wouldn't wake up until morning. Went to work around 4;30 am and stayed there until about 9 pm at night not knowing where I was going to sleep. Finally, my power came back on. And just today, of course, my internet came back. I remember the streets being pitch black and seeing the brigades of trucks and lights at night up and down all the streets trying to restore power to the town. I have to hand it to those guys, thats one hell of a job. I give them credit and thank them for all their hard work. They really are the heros in all this. They restored power to nearly 5000 people in one day...regardless of the weather conditions.
I was one of the lucky ones. There were families out of power in the freezing cold for days and couldnt even make it to work the ice was so bad. I am only a renter and do not have to worry about cleanup but as I drive by all the homes that have tree limbs all over them I feel so bad for those people. There is a curbside pickup but people need to cut the trees down themselves and drag the icy limbs out to the curb or else they won't be picked up. When you drive down the streets all you see is 8 foot high piles of tree limbs blocking the houses now.
I have posted some pics in my flickr account of some of the tree damage but it doesn't even begin to really show the damage that was done. Heres some videos too...WANDtv's website has articles and videos about the storm...anything that says Morgan County or Jacksonville is about the ice storm.
Oh yeah but now I am sick :( got the sneezy sniffles
wandtv
ice storm pics
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[04 Dec 2007 | Tuesday]
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12:28 AM - our faces all resemble dying roses...
Current mood:  inspired
I love this song so much...its on my playlist...stop, listen, think
METRIC
Patriarch on a Vespa
Promiscuous makes an entrance
Her mouth is full of questions
Are we all brides to be
Are we all designed to be confined
Buy ourselves chastity belts and lock them
Organize our lives and lose the key
Our faces all resemble dying roses
From trying to fix it
When instead we should break it
We've got to break it before it breaks us
Fear of pretty houses and their porches
Fear of biological wrist watches
Fear of comparison shopping
Dogs on leashes behind fences barking
Pretty little pillows on floral couches
Until our faces all resemble dying roses
Stop trying to fix it
Patriarch on a Vespa
Runs a red and ends up
Crushed under the wheel
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Currently
listening
:
Live It Out
By
Metric
Release date: 08 January, 2007
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