Think Positive and FLOW

It is struggle, not relaxation that makes us happy.  When we are utterly absorbed in a difficult but worthwhile task, we a cheive a state that Mihaly Csikzentmihali wrote about in his book Flow.


The Six Steps to Flow in the Strip Club:

1. Treat Your Task as a Game:  There should be rules, goals, rewards, and challenges for yourself when you go to work.  There also has to be a way to keep score.  During the busy season I would keep track of how many sales I could close in the last hour.  Then I would write it in my SuperStripper Business Expense Log and challenge myself to beat my personal best record the following night.  The game I play now is a little bit different.

2. Set a Goal Larger than Yourself.  Search for deeper motivation that drives you to succeed.  I don't set a goals based on dollar amounts anymore.  I found that if I set a goal of $500 a night, I would slack once I got there.  Instead I set my goals for making solid contacts with good clientele.  Remember the Pareto Principle applies here. 

3. Focus.  When you are focused all negative and distracting thoughts disappear.  You forget about everything except for the task at hand.  Practice.  Writing this blog is one way I focus.  It helps me to identify and priortize what I need to work on to build my own businesses.

4. Surrender to the Process: Let go and enjoy.  Focus on the process(entertaining your client), not the outcome (money) 

5. Ecstasy.  When you have mastered the four steps, a feeling of happiness will accompany your work.  Someone asked me in the locker room why I'm always so happy.  I responded, "Why wouldn't I be?  I have a profitable business with awesome customers that I honestly enjoy being with."

6. Peak Productivity.  The state of Ecstacy releases unimaginable stores of energy.  You will be surprised what you can accomplish once you enter this zone.  I've written before about how depression sets in when one doesn't have much to do.  I love that I always have some project to keep me busy.  I feel worthless when I'm not working on something productive (there's my RED again.)

Hope you all had a great 4th of July.  Vinnie and I set off Class 2 fireworks from New Mexico with our neighbors in their driveway.  They had fun exploding firecrackers in empty beer cans, and aiming the roman candles towards the empty street.

Back to CCP tonight!

11:22 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Thick Face, Black Heart

Few factors are more destructive to a person's will than twenty-four hour opposition from a loved one.  Remember that the naysayers are not on your team.  Often, they seek the outcome that is the opposite of yours.  If you listen to them, you will end up achieving their objective instead of yours.

Corporate trainer and consultant Chin-Ning Chu has written about this in her book Thick Face, Black Heart "It is the secret law of nature which governs successful behavior in every aspect of life." writes Chu.   According to Chu, most Asians are acutely fearful of losing face or of being humilated in the eyes of others.  But a person with a "thick face" cares nothing for other's opinions.  Similarly people with "black hearts" will pursue their goals ruthlessly, closing their minds to the pain and turmoil involved in getting there.

Success depends upon cultivating self confidence.  No one has ever attained great success without first enduring a withering hail of criticism.  It takes a thick skin to withstand  24 hour criticism from a loved one.  But how do you cultivate this quality?

Close your ears.  Stop listening to the people who want you to achieve their goals.  Start listening and modeling the people you want to be like.

12:25 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Be Teachable

All of the things you have or have not accomplished in your life up until this point, has been preparation for what is to come.  If you have experienced success in your chosen field, congratulations!  If you are currently struggling, the good news is that your future success depends on what you do from today forward.

If you tried something and it didn't work the way you wanted it to, did you fail?  Or did you just figure out one of the ways to not make it work?  When that method didn't work, did you try another method or just give up?  More importantly, did you enlist the help of someone who is successful at what you are working towards?

I'm pretty successful in the entertainment business.  I say this because my dancing business is consistently profitable.  I've been pretty successful with trading because my portfolio is UP despite the now official BEAR MARKET declared by CNBC yesterday.   I'm successful with my group fitness classes because my classes are always full and usually 30% of the participants are men (do you know how hard it is to convince straight men to put down the weights and take a yoga class?)

I didn't get there because I'm super-awesome.  I got there because I remained coachable.  The bear market of 2002 was really hard for me.  We were living in San Francisco, and I was drinking a lot.  I didn't have to worry about DUI since my car had been repossessed in my bankruptcy.  I took a cab home every night.  At times I thought it would be better to use my Masters Degree and get a job teaching school.  Then I looked at the payscale for 4 years experience and MA plus 15 credits and realized we couldn't make it on $37K. 

Moving to Arizona was the best decision we made.  It gave me a new environment and I met my stripper mentor at Christie's.  Even though I had been dancing for 4 years, Cinnamon taught me more than I knew existed about the industry.  AZ had a different hustle than SF and Las Vegas. She taught me how to strategically work the floor, criss crossing from one far corner to the other.  The best piece of advice she gave me was, "They've known you for 6 months.  I've been here since the early 90's.  Who do you think they trust? Give it time, and the money will come."  And it did.  The other night Renee and I stood watching two of the pretty new faces trying unsuccessfully to sell a dance with the "wanna dance?" technique.  When that didn't work, they slumped into a stool at the bar.  We went over and got a few dances.

If you think you know it all, then your business has no where left to go.  I'm always open to learning new techniques.  In fact I'm going to MarkAccetta's Weekend Acceleration training in Las Vegas in two weeks.  Just from using the basic info I gleaned from his Personality Profiling test I've been able to see an improvement in my businesses!  I can't WAIT for the in depth course!

5:10 PM - 4 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

Persistence

Staying in the fight is the key to victory.  Those who fight on, and never give up, will eventually win. 

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence, " Calvin Coolidge said. "Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsucessful men with talent.  Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

Recessions tend to weed out the losers.  The ones that give up at the first path of resistance.  I see it at the clubs: many of my long-time co-workers have left for the so-called greener pastures of working at Bebe.  Susan Wayward said it best in a comment a long time ago, "If they can't sell a $10 lapdance, how are they going to sell a $100 faux silk shirt made in China?"

For every loser who gives up, there are two fresh faces ready to take her spot.  Last night at Christie's there were EIGHT fresh pretty faces beginning their dancing career.  Really pretty faces!  Taylor, a longtime Christie's GM switched from the Tempe Club to the Phoenix Club.  I don't always agree with his choices, but I have a lot of respect for him.  He runs a tight ship, and re-enacted the dreaded Fat List.  On my way out last night I asked him if he'd put me on it.

"If you want me to." he responded.

"Good, I need some extrinsic motivation to get ready for my Vegas Trip in two weeks" I said.  I also need to be at what I call my fighting weight for the next 18 months of this bear market.

So if you were put on The Fat List, don't feel bad....so was I.  Off to the gym to do cardio now...

7:30 PM - 5 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

Drive

The first trait of a leader is DRIVE.

My wake up call for financial literacy was on my 26th birthday.  I had scheduled an appointment two months earlier with the best corporate bankruptcy attorney in San Francisco.  I handed him $1000 in twenties as a retainer and took a deep breath.  My six figures of credit card debt was about to be wiped away.  I could start with a clean slate.  One of the added perks of working at Boys Toys, an uber-upscale gentlemen's club in SF during the dot-com boom was the power-networking.  Presidents, CEOs, and political figures entertained at this club all the time.  I got to meet some very influential people that gave me connections and access to top knotch legal staff that would have otherwise closed the door in my face.  The same is true at Christie's and Treasures, which is why I haven't hung up my heels just yet.  I don't go to work for the cash, I go to work for the networking.

Once the courts put their stamp on my paperwork 6 months later I was driven by my intense need to recover my dignity and independence.  I had to surrender my Jeep, so I peddled my bicycle up and down those steep hills.  I was motivated.  I had something to prove, and I wasn't going to stop until I had created financial freedom for myself.

I kicked my hunger into high gear.  There was NO WAY I was going to go bankrupt again.  I worked as much as my body would physically allow me to and I was a saver.  I set strict monthly savings goals for myself.  In 2003 we were focused on saving for three things: House, then Wedding, then Boobs. 

After the boobs in 2004, I needed something new to save for.  I began reading everything I could get my hands on about credit and investing.  I began to live the David Bach Latte Factor mantra.  I was going one of his book signings in early 2006 when I happened to glance at a book at Starbucks.  (My local starbucks is inside an Albertson's grocery store which conveniently has magazine/books rack) It was Robert Kiyosaki's Retire Young, Retire Rich.  It had a completely different viewpoint on investing for retirement than David Bach's series.  I liked it even BETTER!  I spent the next two years learning how to think differently,  recognize money-making opportunities, and jump on them!

I'm not financially free yet.  My passive income does not cover my living expenses yet.  I still derive income from the E quadrant (my gym job) and the I quadrant (dancing, Dancerwealth) In 2006-2008 I tackled the I quadrant.  With DestinationAvalon and SpaAvalon,  I am learning how to generate income from the B quadrant.

I'll know I'll get there.  I'm Driven.

7:49 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

"But I’m just NOT a red"

a friend told me after she took the Personality Color Test last week.  "It looks ugly on me to act that way, " she said in response to the video of the sharp dressed guy throwing cash around.  Well, that character in the video isnt me either, yet I scored very high in the RED.

"I have read of men born peculiarly endowed by nature to be a general," remarked General William Sherman. "But I have never seen one."  Great leaders are made, not born.

The vast majority of us have done little in our lives to mark ourselves as leadership material.  In fact, I cringe at how utterly meek I was in high school. Yet, we all have the capacity inside of us.  All we need is a sufficiently compelling reason to switch into high gear.

For more and more people that reason is the form of economic hardship.  Corporatations are downsizing and/or merging.  Inflation is out of control, and  in my real-estate based desert town, the unemployment is overwhelming. 

No matter how old you are or what you have or have not accomplished thus far in life, it is never to late to develop the capacity to lead.  The first step is to be proactive and work on yourself.  Most people are reactive, thus the attitudes, habits and emotional reflexes that make up their personality come from outside.  These personality traits were impressed upon them early in life by parents, siblings, and so called "friends."  Just as we learned one way of dealing with the world through others' rose colored glasses, we can learn a different way.  If you do not yet have the characteristics of a leader, you can still acquire them if you want to.

12:15 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

"The Avalon" Haircut

If you haven't seen Adam Sandler's summer flick, Dont Mess with the Zohan, it's the name of his haircut in the Paul Mitchell stylebook.

In my time off of dancing, I have been studying business models.  Is McDonald's successful because they have the best tasting burgers?  No.  I can make a burger on my backyard grill that tastes a zillion times better than McD's.  The reason McDonalds is so successful isn't because of the product, it's because of the system.  I can make a better burger, but I can't make a better system.  So if I was going to open a burger stand, I would probably buy a system that has a history of being profitable.

I see the same thing with dancers.  In every club I have ever worked at: an average looking girl with a good sales system will always trump the hottest chick in the house who has no system.  Now one might say, "Well, it's different when you are selling a service."  Yes, it's a bit different but the underlying process is exactly the same whether you are selling lapdances or hamburgers.

When I recognized this concept, my dancing business took off.  I developed my basic system that I still use to this day.   My system is designed to sift and sort through the clubs customers to find that one guy who wants to go upstairs.  During busy times it can be extremely monotonous to have the same conversation fifty times in one night, but it works.  Sometimes I find him right away, like Chuck last Tuesday night.  Sometimes it takes an entire shift of sifting and sorting to find him at the end of the night.  During recessions he may never walk through the door. 

Regardless, during the sifting and sorting process I ask key questions that help me determine what this customer is looking for.  Then I sell him what he wants (within legal and personal limits of course)  If a customer wants lots of dances from different girls, I do a few dances and then bring him girls he might like.  If he wants extras in a dark corner, I offer to help him cut his search time down in exchange for a referral fee. 

So, if you are having difficulty making money during this recession, evaluate your system.  Then decide if it would be easier for you to create your system or buy into one that has proven to be profitable.

8:38 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

My Much Needed Normal Weekend

After 8 1/2 years of working most every weekend, and feeling guilty when I took one off....I'm going to the movies on a Saturday Night.

2:59 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The Ant and The Grasshopper

From the email box today:

TRADITIONAL VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION :

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome'. Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Be very careful how you vote in 2008

5:49 PM - 7 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

4 Years

Today is my Wedding Anniversary.
This is one of my favorite pics.  I don't know why I like it so much, I guess because it reminds me of one of those photos that comes with the frame when you buy it.

7:31 PM - 12 Comments - 21 Kudos - Add Comment

Back in the Saddle Again

I had a blast at CCP last night.  The first person I talked to bought two dances, then I got called onstage.  "Well, I only have hundreds..." Chuck said.

"Gosh, we should just go upstairs and I'll throw these two in as a bonus!" I responded without skipping a beat.  Chuck and I hung out for about two hours drinking Voss water.  Then, I caught up with my old friend NegativeSteve who was surprised to see me there on a Tuesday night.  That was funny to me because Tues/Wed/Fri/Sat has been my religious schedule for the past 4 years.  I left around 1 and got a good night's sleep.

I sold my SPY call when it hit resistance at  $133.  I'm happy with a 20% profit and not comfortable holding a long position in downtrending market.  Fed announcement days are wacky.  How can they say inflation isn't out of control when they don't include M3 Money?

There was a stray cat hanging out in my front yard yesterday.  We fed her and gave her water as she hung out in my shady grass lawn.  This is Baby's response to another cat on her turf!

7:31 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Done Shorting for now

I  took my profits on my puts, entered a teensy call  position on the SPY to play the fed announcement tomorrow. I got the bullish cluster, my system says to go long!  If I'm wrong, I'll get stopped out.  This is how I get my BLUE. 

Back to CCP tonight.  I had enough of a break that I'm looking forward to seeing my "sorority" sisters tonite and catching up on all the club gossip I missed.  Apparently the infamous owner of the Christie's Cabaret chains fired the majority of his managers because they weren't able to make the clubs as profitable as 2004-2007. 

Kerry (who moved here from Las Vegas and has loads of experience) was transferred to another Christie's Location.  I heard he was replaced by the Christie's Caberet bus driver.


No I'm not kidding.

4:54 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The BEST Personality Test

I not only learned A LOT about myself from this Color Code Personality test, but I figured out why I "click" with certain types of customers in the strip club and not others.  More importantly, I am learning how to appeal to those types of (blue) customers.

Take it, and post your results in the comment section.  If you're not a myspacer, email me at azavalon@hotmail.com and I'll cut and paste your anonymous results in the comment section.

I don't want to post my results or talk about the qualities of certain colors because it may give you a bias.  Once you read your own results, it's pretty easy to guess my primary color!  I was actually REALLY surprised by my secondary color.

I have to give a huge CONGRATULATIONS to one of my dearest friends, Rich Rochlin.  As you recall, Rich was the one who planted the "You should dance, you'd make a lot of money" seed in my head at the tender age of 18 when we were floormates at Letts Hall/American University.  He was just made Parter at his Law Firm at the tender age of 32!  Way to Go Richie!!!

2:52 PM - 32 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Personal Development

I spent the weekend in one of those Challenge Yourself/Push Your Limits Personal Development Seminars.  I do these from time to time and I find that it helps me prioritize my long and short term goals and identify which strategy I am going to employ to meet those goals. 

When I was an elementary school teacher, I had quarterly reviews with my advisor.  In the beginning of the school year I had to write down some measurable goals like: I will use Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences in 4 lesson plans. Then my advisor would schedule an 4 quarterly observations and I would make sure I created a lesson plan that divided the kids up into their respective Interpersonal, Intrapersonal, Logical/Mathematical, Linguistic, Tactile, Body-Kinesthetic, or Musical learning style for that one day.  Lesson plans are TIME CONSUMING.  It would literally take 4 or 5 hours to plan, get materials for, and type up a written lesson plan for one 45 minute Multiple Intelligence Lesson plan for 25 eighth grade alegebra students. 

It was such a dog-and-pony show.  After my observation, I'd go back to typical middle school lecture and take notes format the following week. I'd get a glowing report from my advisor...and not have to do another time-consuming lesson plan like that until the next quarter.  After all, I had to dance 3 nights a week to make ends meet on my teacher's salary...and I didn't get paid any less if I spent 1 hour on lesson plans or 10 hours on lesson plans.  Needless to say, I didn't absorb the importance of goal setting/personal development when I was a government-paid babysitter.

When my husband VinnieVigglioti was the Arizona Field Office manager for an international company, they sent him to Dale Carnegie Leadership School.  He won the pen, then turned a consistently unprofitable office into one of the top offices in the company.  To thank him for his efforts they lowered his base pay and increased the quota in order for him to make a commission.  At least they paid for the Dale Carnegie tuition.  He took the skills he learned from that job's training program, and then shoved it.

Unlike government and corporate structured industries, The nightclub industry lacks any tye of Personal Development for it's workers.  Hence the reason for such high turnover and burn out rate.  Unless a motivated individual (like myself and Hidden Dragon) fork over their own hard earned money for personal development courses, he or she will never break away from the endless cycle of: 1. go to work, 2. pay bills, 3. hope something is left over.

The reason so many SubsistenceStrippers never achieve SuperStripper Status is because they lack a method of accountability.  They lack goal setting, and they think that more money will solve their problems.  Money doesn't solve anyone's problems.  It may solve the immediate problem of rent that is due, but it doesn't solve the longer term problem of residual bills that arrive every month.  Think about it, if you weren't able to get ahead being a stripper during the Real Estate Boom of 2004-2006...then there is a flaw in your system.

I got a message from a long time reader who said, "You're supposed to be the SuperStripper, but you're not talking about Stripping much anymore."  Well, no.  I'm not.  On purpose.  Stripping is just ONE of the tools in the SuperStripper's toolbox.  It's not a job that I am tied to.  Rather, it provided the instant cash flow I needed to funnel into my other investments and businesses. 

Are you starting to get it?

8:36 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Napoleon Hill

Without doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings is the habit of leaving their minds open to the negative influence of other people.

  Napoleon Hill,  Think and Grow Rich

2:42 PM - 8 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment