The Promise

Leaving ghosts behind

copies

I take mine, and you take yours

A ruin of souvenirs of the best and worst kind

I imagine it will read,

"You burned into my soul once upon a time and took a photocopy with you,

and all I got was this loust T shirt"...

...They are talking about me

Am I doomed? Will I burn forever?

Yes I take pieces,

but if they only knew they had the whole of me;

lost, floating answers to their questions,

their last, lost puzzle pieces

deep within me...

It was always impossible to find them, connect them, glue me together.

All the king’s horsemen and all the king’s men

couldn’t  put Alice together, and never again.

But you always know where to find her

in that Wonderland

where knowing everything means nothing

when all that’s left are broken, old, tattered promises

that only translate into another dimension

and only make sense when there’s no sense left to be made.

Another place, another time, another you, another me...

will fade.

For this reality is far too unaware

and I observe to the brink of absurdity

all of it.

It simply does not matter...

I am not that dream you dreamed

I sold it to the highest bidder

and wouldn’t you know,

it got turned into a reality show...

This IS your life and it IS ending one minute at a time.

My trail of ghosts, undesirable hosts

find them in an insomniac’s unreachable, peaceful dream.

And at this point is comparable to

a brain grinder.

Unseen by most, in this place...

you may call me the promise finder.

6:39 PM - 9 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Lover You Should’ve Come Over
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

"Looking out the door i see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
And maybe i'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind so you never know

When i'm broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it
Where are you tonight, child you know how much i need it
Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run

Sometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
And much too blind to see the damage he's done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no-one

So i'll wait for you... and i'll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return
Oh will I ever learn

Oh lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come

It's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when i slept so soft against her
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

Well maybe i'm just too young
To keep good love from going wrong

Oh... lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Well I feel too young to hold on
And i'm much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb, and blind to see the damage i've done
Sweet lover, you should've come over
Oh, love well i'm waiting for you

Lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late"

- Jeff Buckley

Currently listening : Grace By Jeff Buckley Release date: 23 August, 1994

8:08 PM - 4 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

The Killing Moon

"Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine


Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him


In starlit nights I saw you
So cruelly you kissed me
Your lips a magic world
Your sky all hung with jewels
The killing moon
Will come too soon


Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him


Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine


Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him"

-Echo and The Bunnymen


Secret

...and a great surprise landed at my feet
show me the way amongst other things
like my insides are more than the meat
and the outside develops outside of it's strings

can I show you a place in which no one has seen
it is quiet and dark and has many names
you need not even look to know what I mean
this land doesn't know of titles and games

you can see what you want when you're tired and blind
and the answer will show what the senses don't know
in this place there are secrets that no one will find
I hope it's a place you are willing to go...
~A

5:58 PM - 7 Comments - 15 Kudos - Add Comment

Free art show and club night in Hell!
Current mood: giddy
Category: Parties and Nightlife

Join me for a wicked good time in HELL!! The club, of course... My friend Explico will be showing some of his talent in an art show, so come and enjoy good music, cool peeps, and to support local artists. Mention Explico @ the door to gain free admission! See you there kiddies...

Wednesday, Sept 26, 2007

@ Facade (club Hell)

6356 Hollywood Blvd

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a29/Azrielle22/myspace/hellexplico.jpg

1:34 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Learning to stand, walk, and run (Fun with Dick and Jane)
Current mood: confused

The serpent slips around me again
like a noose
I have to balance, steady
hold myself up
trust
build
find my foundation
it wobbles... it always is a struggle

I haven't had the strength, what if my legs stop working?
Fold underneath me?
I feel like an infant learning to walk for the first time.
So far, I've been pushed, pulled... and managed to glide...
on this very thin ice.
Ice blades have no use where I have to go.
I need to pawn them for some quick cash,
while I watch and observe...
see how they run,
Jane says.

Have I been waiting to learn? What. Have. I. Been. Waiting. For?
I give...
I can teach, listen, console, understand, help.
I give...
and I give myself away,
when I haven't even learned to get up yet.
I need to get up
dance
laugh
sing
tap
tap
tap to the sound of my own two feet finally walking down the street.
And Jane says...
look, see how she runs?
See how she runs.

Currently listening : Mezzanine By Massive Attack Release date: 12 May, 1998

9:44 AM - 10 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

OCEANEA

a calm surrounds me.
ocean breeze tucked away inside me,
as I challenge and think...
cold grit at my feet
reminds me of a million possibilities.
it's dark and I need you with me to show me where the water is
where did you go?
the sound of her crashing gives me direction.
there you are...
she crawls to me,
slides slowly backward,
invites me.
I need to breathe...
don't forget to breathe,
she whispers...
reassuring,
but frightening.
how does she always know?
I let my senses take over as I sink back into the night.
too many questions may give you an answer someday,
and I do like the magic of it all...
even if this is all a dream
even if she never whispered to me
even if the baggy remained empty
even if it wasn't really meant to be...
sleight of hand in a dream
is worth more than
knowing any truth right now.
I learned everything from being lost,
only to have to find my way back again...
so many directions to take
many paths to cross
lives to live
states to be
looks to give
places to see
memories to make
replies to write
rules to break
battles to fight
hands to hold
minds to know...
I go alone,
but she helps me find the water again
when I get too lost.
and it's all ok...
as it should be
right here right now
just being feels perfect
as it should be.
no questions, no decisions, no answers, no right, no wrong...
JUST BREATHE.

3:19 AM - 17 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

How to prevent profile hacking
Category: MySpace

Here's some info that a friend sent to me, thought it might be helpful to others... I don't want this to happen to anyone else :(

HOW TO FIGHT HACKERS

This is how your site gets hacked....You will be surfing your page and reading the add requests. You may see a profile that you like. Then you may decide to add that person so you do. Very soon after you add this person you will probably go to post a comment. Then what happens is you will get a message that says

YOU MUST BE LOGGED ON TO PREFORM THIS ACTION ...... DO NOT DO IT!!!!!!!!!

This is how they get your password...Trust me Immediately close your browser then Log back in. If you had paid attention as I do you will notice two things that are dead giveaways. The first one is how many times you have been viewed. I reset to Zero after every session so for me it was easy. Ninety Nine views in 30 seconds NO way, Then the other thing is when the Fake Login page does come up. Look at the URL in the bar and you will see the word redirect in it. I hope you all post and repost this over and over. I Mind you be very careful.

NEVER RE-LOG ON During a session
Close Out and RE-Log on the proper way

Pass this on and I want you to protect yourself. It is a shame that so many people would like to ruin a good thing

And for my male friends If any girl requests to add you and you receive a message that says you must add the MY SPACE adult content viewer DONT DO IT that is a fake also It is a Virus

I Hope Your friends Take this very serious I am only trying to save you some grief.


Here is some more info for you on the same topic:

Have you noticed weird bulletins posted by your friends lately? Instead of surveys and games, it looks like they're advertising ringtones for songs they don't even like, or telling you to smoke pot when they're not even a pot smoker?

If so, it probably means their MySpace profile has been stolen, and yours could be next.

Profile thieves are stealing MySpace profiles left and right so they can spam other people, and in some cases, they manage to steal more than just your MySpace.

Here's how they usually steal it:

They post a message, bulletin, or comment containing a Flash file. It might be disguised as a game, or lately there's one that says, "Click here if you like to smoke pot." But in reality, it's just a trap to steal your MySpace.

Without you realizing it, the Flash file automatically redirects you to a different website where the thief has set up a copycat of the MySpace login page. What it looks like to you is, "Oh, stupid MySpace logged me out again." And so you enter your username and password, and bingo -- they just stole your profile. Since you were on a copycat site, it didn't log you in. It just stored the email and password you entered in a big file, and now that profile thief is going to use your account to spam people.

But the danger doesn't end there. The person who stole your profile knows that you can always change your password and lock them out of your account. So now, they try to take over your profile entirely. If they see your email address ends in yahoo.com or hotmail.com, they go to your email login page and try to log in to your email account with the same password. Many people use the same password for their email account and their MySpace profile, and if you're one of those people, now the thief has access to your email, too.

And check this out -- once they have access to your email, they can start sending lost password requests to PayPal, AIM, Yahoo Messenger, eBay, or anywhere else you might have an account, and they can now reset your passwords on other systems, and even change the email address on your MySpace profile to their own address so you can never log in again!

Don't be fooled into thinking that MySpace will let you back in to your profile once it gets stolen and you can no longer log in.

If this happens, MySpace will ask you to send a digital picture of yourself so they can see if you are pictured in the account that you say was stolen. If the spammer has deleted all of the face pics in your profile (which they usually do), then MySpace won't do anything at all because you have no way to prove the profile is really yours.

But if they see your picture in the account you say was stolen, MySpace still won't give you access to the account -- they'll just DELETE IT. And now the spammer can't use it anymore, but you will have lost all of your messages, photos, and comments and you'll have to start all over again.

Here's how you can protect yourself from profile thieves:

1. Change your MySpace password right now. Even if you haven't seen weird bulletins yet, your account info may have been stolen already and the thief just hasn't used it yet. They steal thousands of profiles at a time, and yours could be sitting in some spammer's list just waiting to be hijacked.

2. Change the password to your email address right now. It's no good just changing your MySpace password, because if they can get into your email account, they can still steal your profile.

3. IMPORTANT: Make sure your new email password and your new MySpace password aren't the same!

4. Never click on a link in a bulletin, message, or comment that looks suspicious. It's probably a trap to steal your profile.

5. If it EVER looks like MySpace has logged you out, don't enter your email and password. Instead, type 'www.myspace.com' in the address bar and hit enter to make sure you are still on the real MySpace website and not a copycat site.

6. If you see weird bulletins showing up from your friends, message them right away to tell them their profile has been stolen and advise them to change BOTH their MySpace password and their email account's password. Most people don't see the bulletins their account is posting until it's too late.

7. COPY AND PASTE this whole message into a new bulletin.

Let's keep profile thieves from stealing our profiles and our friends' profiles!

9:48 PM - 36 Comments - 47 Kudos - Add Comment

Birthday Pictures!
Category: Friends

2:08 AM - 27 Comments - 33 Kudos - Add Comment

Friday the 13th
Category: Friends

My Friday the 13th party that you missed :) Here's a little sample.....

1:17 AM - 17 Comments - 19 Kudos - Add Comment

The Power of Thought
Current mood: creative

"Every drop of rain that falls holds a thought within it ready to be woken from it's dormant state. Every leaf that falls in winter or flower that buds in spring also holds the birth of countless thoughts. The infinite power of thought is in every creature, plant, and object in the world around us. From the beating of our hearts at birth to our final breath in death, a continual stream of thought flows through us, making us, forming all our desires, and directing unconscious actions, yet always guiding us toward greater self-knowledge.
The power of thought is immense. With simple effort and direction you can open your mind to an endless resource of thought energy. And having connection to this thought energy will open the way to a profound spiritual and material reality that will bring you financial, emotional, and spiritual success. True thinking changes lives, yours and others'.
Yet many people have no idea that this great resource is open to them. Often they feel helpless and seek meaning in the world, outside themselves, without any awareness of the wonderful potential they have within. They don't realize that most of what they imagine to be their thoughts are nothing but the echoes of instinctive reactions to their environment and other people. There is a huge difference between the ineffectual, reactive thoughts, which can so easily occupy our minds for most of the time, and true original thought, which is filled with energy.
Your life is affected by unskillful thinking. Your future can be changed by casual thoughts or powerful emotions. By seeing and understanding what streams of thought flow through you and by taking control of your thinking, you will be able to start clearing away thoughts that hold you back or keep you suffering, and start choosing thoughts that will create happiness and well-being in your body, mind, and life.
Knowing how to think creates huge personal power. It brings compassion to the way you see the world and awakens you to the thought energy in everything around you. It enables you to discover the deepest meaning of your life so that you can make it the life you truly want to live."
- from "The Tibetan Art of Positive Thinking"

It is easy to get lost in the "every day". I continually remind myself of a greater purpose than what is visible right in front of me. The question, the answer...
What is it? And what is meaning anyway if everything has a purpose? It is difficult to see the answer with so many distractions... and to wonder if there ever is such an answer; well, I could just drive myself crazy. Just try to remember there is so much more... more than I could ever imagine, more ways to exist in the world. Endless threads, countless patterns... that somehow come together. Choose which one will guide you today, and which one you will guide... and where you serve to add your piece of the fabric.
-Az

3:42 AM - 45 Comments - 35 Kudos - Add Comment