bad for the baby
Current mood: crazy

Hello hello, what can I say?  i think we've reached peak smell here in the NYC. Something's gotta give. defensive bartenders on acid off the clock need not apply. when ya said yr just a bonehead in a bad band, i had to take yr word on that!  ha ha. This dirty city's devouring me right about now.  i need me a creative outlet but i can't find the time the pace, the mental space. my arteries are clogged w/ bills & bullshit, and what's w/ all the "post-feminist" vomit all up lately? even from women man at least save yrself it's like self-preservation of the species. i can't sleep nites these days, i blame the greyhound bus beheading, but it must go deeper than that. i don't wanna get no machete chop either, but yeah when they say us riot grrrls helped form who they are today, i gotta grab the red phone and dial kathleen cuz if the guys we influenced turned out like that yikes yikes yikes.  no more learnin off my back cuz it's broke, i'm broke, ain't got no PR person booking agent manager mgmt whatever don't quit yr dayjob or you'll wake up on yr deathbed wishing you'd spent more time at the office? Well anyways never had no sugar whatever take care of me, but i'm thinkin lately wouldn't mind. If i added some bleeps n bloops would you still luv me? still? yet? Don't hate me cuz i'm beautiful! next time... same brat station same brat channel.

Currently reading : Anais Nin: A Biography By Deirdre Bair

1:24 AM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

That’s life in the city?
Current mood: angsty

    So a friend in beautiful Rome just told me that if I wrote a blog he'd actually read it, though i'm almost too cyber-challenged to even know how to do that, but i figured i'd try, while i'm so glamorously unemployed and ain't got nothin but time... so here's to you, Pino in Pigneto!
    I just got back from a marathon tour of Europe/UK with Partyline about 3 weeks ago, which was awesome though exhausting (i'll be doing a tour diary and flickr photos on that soon, i promise!)... only to find myself replaced at work by 3 new hires and a summer intern. Ok, fine-- but finding yourself suddenly unemployed in NYC is a little scary & style-cramping!
    Well this ain't no sex-n-the-city type o' thang, in fact, just the opposite, if we're talking bout my little life, but sometimes all these unglamorous moments can add up to a few laughs...
    I actually moved up here to Ft. Greene in November, or more like December, but then there were holidaze, and fams visiting, and then a ridiculous car crash (not my fault!) that I don't even wanna talk about (to be detailed in a future episode?), then the struggle to get my shit together (does that ever end?), then work, and freelance work, and more freelance work, and then booking an entire euro tour by myself which is the hardest thing i've done in a long time, so you could say my ass was kicked and i haven't been around much, whether fleshly or brainly.
But now that i'm back, and did i mention outta work?, it's sunny and warm out and that big ol apple's gonna be my oyster... if only i knew my way around and knew what to do with myself.
    So a gal pal told me about some lady who i guess found herself in a similar situation and decided to document doing something completely new, that she'd never done before, every day. If only i was so ambitious, but i can try to do something, right. So I marched us two down to some actors' rep agency, thinkin, hey, maybe we can be people in a crowd in the background of Law & Order! That's a respectable thing to do with yr day!  But now they say we need head shots, what's that? hmmm...
    My sisters and co. came to town for the long weekend recently and we partied, wow that haze went on forever, and i partied again this weekend, i don't know how much more i can take. But it's been interesting. We went to Hank's Saloon for their Monday night country karaoke, with a live band and excellent song list, along with a shot they pour straight into yr mouth onstage before you sing yr song, perfect. A total dive that makes you def. not feel like yr in NY, and I can walk to it! yay, i highly recommend. But then i saw this story a couple days later in the Village Voice that says the place (which is 100 years old!) might get shut down. How horrible, i'm really bummed, after finally finding a place in my neighborhood i can hang with. My sister Cindy and I sang "Golden Ring."
    So i don't know, maybe the down time after tour is getting to me, I been gettin' downright ornery. Just grumpy about "music," whatever. Maybe it's my shitty stereo that can't hardly get any stations in, so i keep listening to bad "alternative" radio, but even when it's "good", where are the women? Why are they always mysteriously missing, and then it's considered normal, neutral? And now that summer fests season is upon us, how many ladies are in that mix? NOt enough, i assure you!  So annoying, why don't these $organizers$ get transparent and call it dudemoneyfest or whatever? And don't you throw a token girl band at me to try to shut me up! It's like sure, that band might be great, but it doesn't make up for society's sexism alright?  And don't tell me there's not enough women making music, cuz that's most of what i listen to, and the only authors i'll read, etc etc. Someone should let me program that radio show or that festival, c'mon!
    And then everywhere you go out, if it's indoors, it's like all about money and meat markets, and like maybe if you starve yourself enough and sit cute and quiet enough or look young enough or lord knows what, you can be some ornament to get picked up on, yay.  But this new found sun's gonna shine some light on that shit. Cheap-n-easy.
    So (so is my jam!) when i was down at that free outdoor Wire (& Die!3) show, it was fun, but the sound wasn't so rad, but i guess that's outdoor shows for ya. Strangely, everywhere i go lately the vocals seem too loud. (Whodathunk i'd ever say such a thing?) Anyways i walked past this couple that was squeeze-hugging like it was the end of the world and overheard the guy say to his girlfriend "god it's like we're in New York or something!"
Then we saw some olives an fancy lookin' munchies displayed nicely at the foot of... Jon Spencer? I was gonna grab one, but then we got the "dontcha dare" look. Ok i'm a scrub. So I like a lil' salt with my explosion!
    The next night i went out to the make up show for Stereo Total, the Nacoteque thing, cool. Waited forever for the train, and then on it sat by this guy who pulled his shoe off so he could smell it, then put it in the face of his girlfriend to smell it too, then confirmed "yep, my feet smell." Brilliant.
The Stereo Total show was insane, i never been so sober while being around such drunken sweaty insanity. The drunkest dude in the room zeroed-in on me immediately and kept trying to squeeze the sweat out of his shirt onto me. Charming. But they were so happy! The band, the crowd, ya had ta crack a smile, no matter how curmudgeonly i've been pretending to be. I know with the rained out earlier show and sound issues, it had to be hard to pull off. But there they were, Francois and Bretzel, + a crazy 6-foot-whatever audience, fists up! I suppose the 2 hours of open bar mighta helped? hmmm...
    Today my roomie took me over to Prospect Park, would you believe it was my first time? It was a beautiful day, and it didn't hurt to see Terrence Howard sittin' on the grass nearby with two sweet ladies. That's the second sighting of him I've had since moving here-- it must be a sign!  Somebody make me a star!
    Well i don't know, how does it get so late, night turns to day with birds chirping already, and my resume never finished... how do you cram such fabulousness into one page? How do you find the words to describe it?  Well like they say, never quit yr day job.  I was one of the golden ones who never could afford it, so here i go again... "bed styling" anyone??

Currently listening : Shivering King and Others By Dead Meadow Release date: 2003-06-03

1:22 AM - 6 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

don't be a drag
Current mood: disappointed

So--
 i been workin like a dog lately, which means "normal" full-time, wow. i guess i'm just not used to it, even though that's what most people do, and then some... but i know this much, it ain't no life to live. Soul-crushing. But the other day at work i encountered Bob Woodward in the parking garage (ha ha) and we rode the same elevator up. Then, within the hour, i saw Cornel West and Tavis Smiley walk by my office window! i jumped up and waved, like a little kid. Now there's some true hero-sighting. And Al Sharpton was in there the week before, damn. So i guess i can't complain...
But i do anyways.
Do you like being taken for granted and underappreciated? I don't. Do you like being made to wait around and lick up whatever crumbs are thrown in your direction? Not cool. What about not feeling allowed to want or expect anything, 'cause nothing's defined? It ain't me babe. 
It's too damn bad, but i got bigger fish to fry.
So anyways...
We just did another installment of our monthly country DJ and bingo night, and it made me think of this Dolly Parton song. Check it out, ain't she grand?

DON'T LET IT TROUBLE YOUR MIND

Our love affair is bitter sweet
Insecure and incomplete
And I've often wondered why your leaving's been so long delayed
It's all become so complicated
Maybe you feel obligated
And out of sympathy for me you stay
But I would rather live alone
Than live with someone who doesn't love me
And I'd rather have you go than stay
And put me down a-thinkin' you're above me
Our love affair is so wound up
It's best that we unwind
And if you don't love me, leave me
And don't let it trouble your mind
You've waited much too long to leave afraid of how I'd take it
And I'm deeply touched by your concern but I think I can make it
It won't be easy for a while but I'll forget in time
And if you don't love me, leave me and don't let it trouble your mind
I would rather live alone
Than live with someone who doesn't love me
And I'd rather have you go than stay
And put me down a-thinkin' you're above me
Our love affair is so wound up
It's best that we unwind
And if you don't love me, leave me
And don't let it trouble your mind

Currently listening : Dangerous Charms By The Delmonas Release date: 14 March, 2000

10:43 PM - 4 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

I MISS OZ
Current mood: determined

hey hey, i'm back from Australia, my attempt at eternal summer... So why's it still so cold back here in DC then? Perhaps it's due to moral bankruptcy in the nation's capital! Well i'm missing Melbourne sorely, and hopefully i'll make some time to write about it properly. But until then, you can check out my photos: www.flickr.com/photos/babydonut, and my column in Punk Planet, with 2 separate installments of my Ladyfest Brisbane tour diary!

Next, Partyline's off to Europe for a month and a half, starting April 1. Can't complain!
But... without you i'm nothing!
xoxox

Currently listening : Kitty Finger By Matrimony Release date: 29 July, 1997

8:24 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Current mood: thoughtful

Hey, quickie.  So aside from all the lying and cheating, and then alot more lying for a long time i had to deal with, i've been kickin it in style, with many celebrity sightings i'll reveal later, and i'm getting older!  Believe it or not, i'm 29 again!  And so is my twin sister Cindy.  And Corin! and Dave Stone! and Lisa Charbonneau! Scorpios rule ya know.

So Partyline's leaving to California in exactly a week, and then from there Australia and New Zealand, where it'll be summer! So yay.

luv ya

allison

Currently listening : Get Evens By Evens Release date: 07 November, 2006

4:20 PM - 7 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Duty: To Serve
Current mood: annoyed

It's so weird... you think you're close with someone, very, and then when they suddenly decide to dump their "true" thoughts on you all at once, the first thing out of this guy's mouth is... (whiny voice)

"But I don't know if I wanna get married or have kids!"  It's like, whoa, where's that coming from? Then I'm like, well I don't know either dude, what are you talking about? And he's like, "Well, you don't have much time left."  Omigod, no he didn't! And I'm like, uh, why are you trying to tell me what's going on with my body? I have as many years as I want, I know women who have kids in their 40s, and if when I get past that and I really really wanna have a kid, I can adopt.  Then he laughs and says, "Who do you think you are, Angelina Jolie or something?!"  Ouch. Rude. Well who do you think you are, Joey Buttafuoco?!  So anyways, do I even need to explain why these statements are so mean, sexist, ageist and idiotic?  I was shocked, actually, just blown away, speechless.

So why is it that even supposedly modern guys, "cool" guys (the guy you're going out with for fuck's sake) think like this? That women are baby-making machines, biological ticking clocks representing some ball-n-chain to man's independence or whatever. It's insane, actually. Have I ever come across as someone like that anyways? Is it not over-obvious that I have my own life, goals, dreams, birth control!, creative outlets and activities that take me all over the place?!  But somehow, these inane comments struck a chord with me anyways, a reinforcement of society-imposed fears in women. Like, shit, am I getting old? Dried up? Should I "settle down", make a family? Do I act like I need to do that? What does this all mean?  Everyone questions what they're doing or where their life's going from time to time, but...  Dude, just cuz you're having a mid-twenties crisis doesn't mean I need to be put through a mid-thirties crisis. But I suppose fear is contagious.

It's not that these aren't valid topics to think about when pondering your life, but I don't want some guy defining it for me. It's my body for fucksake! But in a way, it's like, why am I even bothering to dignify these comments with a response? I mean, these are stereotypes I talked about and rejected way back in my teens even, or younger. It's just wild when you're reminded of this ugly presence... and hurtful when it's from the mouth of someone you loved.

Well, moving right along...  Today I had to report to jury duty in Washington DC early in the morning. Bummer. Of course I was late, and when I got to the top of the escalator, I got harassed by 2 dudes hanging out up there. Dudes, is there not a moment's rest? Can a girl never catch a break in this city? Not even in the courthouse?! Anyways, I tattled on them and got some security guards to come up and send them to the principal's office. Needless to say, they weren't too happy about that. They claimed they were just "complimenting" me and that's just what guys do to girls.  Oh really?  Awesome.

I didn't end up getting called to serve and just spent the day in the waiting room watching that Sandra Bullock movie from the early 90s I think called "The Net." Fascinating!   When we were all dismissed and checking out, I started chatting with this cute nerdy young guy behind me. We ended up walking toward home together, it was cool. He's in law school. He asked me out for a drink later, and ya know, I don't know if I've ever done something like that before, but today I was like, why the hell not? We met later on 17th Street. Of course, idiot me, I spilled my 2nd gin & tonic across the table and it splashed on our neighbors. Am I getting sloppy? ha ha  Well whatever, smooth I ain't. Then we went to see "The Illusionist" movie, a decent period piece. He walked me to the bus stop and neither of us asked for each other's numbers. We don't know each other's last names. I got on the bus. It's cool. It was a nice passing moment.

I'm trying to just live for the moment.

Moment.

Currently reading : Woman on the Edge of Time By Marge Piercy Release date: 12 November, 1985

9:10 PM - 7 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Summertime, oh.
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Blogging

Stabbed in the heart in the summertime, somehow the sun still shines...

Well here I am, summer's almost over, I suppose. Despite immature irresponsible momma's boys, it was a decent one, for awhile. Partyline recorded our album "Zombie Terrorist" at the end of May with Don Zientara at Inner Ear Studios. Chris Richards (Q and Not U) provided production and cheerleading, Michael Cotterman (Kid Dynamite, Loved Ones) thumped the bass, Hugh McElroy (Black Eyes, Horses) clapped and snapped and we all had a grand ol' time. I usually don't like recording too much, but this was a great experience. I'm proud of us, man. So the album's coming out on Retard Disco on October 24, check it out! (www.retarddisco.com)

I tried to make myself busy with all sorts of stuff after that. I was missing someone, but was resigned to a DC summer and tried to just enjoy it with my friends. But someone couldn't figure out how to communicate real feelings and later used distance as an excuse. Sorry dude, I can't make you grow up. You coulda been happy for me instead of being petty, jealous or expecting me to be a mind-reader. I know I'm totally awesome, but I haven't yet mastered the mind-reading! Alotta straight guys seem to be threatened by jet-set girls in bands. But if the guy has that kinda lifestyle, he likes having a no-talkin-back lady waiting patiently for him at home, there at his every beck and call.  Well sorry, check yer sexism at the door, dude!  I ain't yer mommy, and your mommy does way too much for you anyways. You're being a spoiled little baby.

So Partyline also got to do a li'l mini-tour in July with Tennessee Twin (www.myspace.com/thetennesseetwin) up in Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal. Wow that was awesome. Saw filmmaker/actor Don McKeller and actress Tracy Wright from "Me and You and Everyone We Know" at our Toronto show, that was exciting. They had just been at the cast screening for the new film they're in called "Monkey Warfare" directed by Reg Harkema. It just got into the Toronto Filmfest, way to go!  And I got my photo in the paper in Ottawa, right next to Billy Joel! Guys, I finally made it!  Montreal was the raddest, we stayed with Lynne T. & Bernie from Lesbians on X, they're the best, and played at Zoo Bizarre. Awesome place, reminded me of an ancient basement we once played in Bordeaux, kinda. Say hi to Andre the bartender, booker, musician, artist, etc. Ya wanna know what's cool about Canada?  There's still mom & pop stores everywhere there. The US is just like all chain stores now, it's disgusting.

As my mood took a nose dive due to an inept adult baby, I tried to cheer myself up by going out to the Pacific Northwest to Homo-a-Go-Go and to see family and old friends. My li'l sister Molly lives in Portland with her rockclimber boyfriend and baby boy. They own a great house and it all seemed chill. My twin sister Cindy (from Tennessee Twin) was also visiting out there, and the long lost Joseph DeRouselle back from the Netherlands! Yay! They all saved my life. More hankies, please. The hang in Oly was rad, and I went swimming in lakes 3 times! I'm a water baby.

We also played the lovely Fort Reno as part of their summer outdoor series. Such a nice thing to have in DC. Katie MacKaye told me that in the 70s (or 80s?) it used to be this totally debaucherous scene with hippies n drugs n cop helicopters flying overhead. ha ha.  I don't usually like playing outdoors too much, but it went well, and man, Rollins was there. I was psyched. And he put me on the pest list for his show the next night (Rollins Band & X)!!!  At his show, I was standing next to this big guy who would let out primal screams throughout, pretty intense. But of course I had one too many blue things and made a fool of myself outside the tour bus later. Hey guys, forgive me, I've been having a hard time!

Next stop, L.A.!  So Partyline got flown out to LA to play the "Fuck Yeah Fest". We turned it into a long weekend, and made it happen at Mantooth's pad. Lovin' his outdoor living room hang!  We swam at a beach in Marina del Rey, which was amazing, calming. I love water, swimming. Crystal sunburnt her knee caps, Angela forgot to flip over. Later, Andy Coronado (Monorchid, Wrangler Brutes) had a BBQ at his lovely abode with such celebrity guests as Cundo (Le Shok, FFWD), Christina Billotte (Autoclave, Slant 6, Quixotic), Joe Preston (Melvins, Thrones), David Yow (Jesus Lizard), and Weasel Walter (Flying Luttenbachers, XBXRX), and can you believe it, PARTYLINE!!!! and more I'm sure. Don't you just love my name-dropping?? But hey man, when you go to LA, you live for celebrity sightings! As the night wore on, the drunks got drunker, the loud-mouth contest between Weasel and David Yow (whose pants got lower, what an exhibitionist!) was peaking. Yow apparently groped Crystal, dropped his keys down the front of Angela's shirt (trying to entice her to go to karaoke at the "Smog Cutter") and stuck his bare ass in her face!  ha ha, but they were lovin' it.  So our fest show the next night was at a cool art gallery around the corner from the Echo. Mantooth introduced us with his "Bear Cosby" routine in a full body wolf suit, actually, then dove into the crowd. Aw Mantooth, our "manager"!  That night also had Mika Miko, shit they're on fire! It was hard to play after ladies that hot! And later Erase Errata, always amazing. And we got to meet Keith Morris (Black Flag, Circle Jerks), he was a festival curator. Big group hug!  We spaced out with Nudity the rest of the night at the Dead Meadow show at the Echo... our Hollywoodland dream was soon coming to a close.

So now what?  I'm trying to feel a Rollins line: "Take the pain and use it." I'm def. feeling the pain! Now how to use it?  I'm trying baby, I'm trying. Stay tuned for next time...

Currently listening : C.Y.S.L.A.B.F. By Mika Miko Release date: 25 July, 2006

12:27 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Ana Mendieta

Check out the late Ana Mendieta retrospective show at the Hirshhorn in DC, or wherever it may go next. It's the most inspiring and amazing art show I've seen in forever. And fuck her husband who killed her and got away with it!

7:04 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

IT'SMYBIRTHDAYIT'SMYBIRTHDAYIT'SMYBIRTHDAY

Um, the attention freak says: HELLO, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

4:42 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment