A Dog's Life...
Current mood: sad

Well it seems a shame that the first time I get back here to post something in a long time has to be on such a SAD topic.  But that's life for you.  (stupid, stupid life...)

My buddies Bridget and Jason are putting down a member of the family today.  (and no, I don't mean "yeah we hate that guy, and he looks fat in those pants!" put down)  Noah the Yellow Lab has been part of Bridget's life since he was a tiny puppy (a good 12 years ago) and when Jason became Bridget's partner Noah welcomed him to the family.  It's a very sad day.

Let me first tell you a little about Mr. Noah.  Like all yellow labs, he has an air both of the noble and of the down-home about him.  He's ever so loving to his people, and I've been very honored to be considered one of his people for the last few years.  He loves to love, sticking his big, wet nose right in your face (or neck, or the back of your knees...  pretty much whatever he can reach) and licklicklicklicklickLICKlicklick!  It's his way of saying "you are so swell!"

He enjoys to chase the ball, to wrestle the chum (whether that be people or his adopted lil' sister-dog), to sneak the food and to get the scritches.  Of special place in his heart is anyone who will scratch the tummy or the rump!  Though he's lost some speed with the years, he can still keep up with the younger dog in the family when competing for the thrown toy, and he does this by cunning and sneaky-sneakiness! 

When he was little Bridget took the time to train him on all the classic moves like sit, lie down, heel, etc.  For a dog that big, it was always really nice that you could reason with him like that.  I've often been kind of intimidated by dogs of size, but Noah I knew I could hang with. 

And he has the most expressive and emotional of faces.  In a single evening I have seen him look happy, anxious, confused, eager, fierce and even seen him distinctly emote "what the heck were you thinking?"  To reinforce what all his face can broadcast, he's also loud of bark when he wants to be.  This can sometimes be a definite draw back (just ask Riley when he's once again wrecked a perfectly good nap!) but also can be a fabulous celebration of all things poochy.  Nothing says "hurray!" like a good, solid bark or two.

Noah also had his challenging aspects, to be sure!  The food-sneaking?  It has included entire loaves of bread, whole packages of Oreo cookies and even a bag of cotton balls.  Let's just say that Noah is not picky.  And though he's a big fan of most people, Noah did not take immediately to the addition of Maia, the littler black dog his family brought home several years ago.  He was quick to show his lack of enthusiasm for the new family member by trimming one of her ears by about an inch.  (it's ok, she barely remembers having 2 full ears and it gives her a jaunty look!) 

Noah has also been keen to (attempt to) kill-kill-KILL smaller animals when he thought that he could.  This could include cats, squirrels and even smaller dogs who wandered too close.  I can still remember a lovely summer day at Fall Creek when I learned that Noah could, indeed, fit the head of a small dog entirely in his mouth!  (quick action, Jason, to spare the silly little dog!)

Owning, living with and handling Noah has not been 100asy for the Kronholm family, and ever since adding their own kid to the portrait it's become more and more stressful.  No one can long endure a situation when you fear one family member may suddenly hurt another, and especially when you feel responsible for them both.  Bridget and Jason have gone above and beyond the call of duty in their efforts to keep everyone together as long as possible.  But the time has come to make very, very difficult choices and the decision they've made is the best one for everybody.  I'm humbled by their strength.  I'm awestruck by their devotion.  I'm proud of their love for him. 

I'll be there by their side tonight as they lay him to rest on a lovely hill with a beautiful view and the sounds and smells of nature all around him.  I know I'll cry, and most of you know how seldom I let that happen, especially in front of others, but it's the least I can do to show my respect for a great guy who's been my friend.  I'll miss the big, yellow galoot.  I leave this post as a tribute to all he's been, and as proof that I knew and loved him.

8:15 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Donkey Kong is my middle name...

OK, this has made my day which, in the end, will probably just reflect how lame an average workday can be for me, to be made by something of this ilk, but none the less...

I just got a letter from my company's Home Office which I had to call to respond to, and the name of the person who sent the letter?  The actual name of this person, one of the coolest real names I've ever seen:

Dawn D. Princess Slaughter.

I am not kidding!  Dawn D. Princess Slaughter!  Where does one begin?  First the name Dawn, which has such a "Malibu in the 80's" connotation.  Just that name will generally make me smile.  People named Dawn must be blond and must be cheery.

But next, the first last name of "Princess."  WOW! How does one get so lucky?  Maybe this is her maiden name, which she decided to keep (because DUH!), so that would have made her Dawn Princess.  That's quite a name to live up to!  And if you consider that her last name may have initially been Princess it makes the choice of Dawn for first name a little clearer.  You're not gonna go with Jane Princess or Louise Princess.  You're clearly gonna go Nancy Princess, or Chrissy Princess, or especially Dawn Princess. 

Now the big finish:  the second last name of (just can't love this enough) SLAUGHTER.  Now first of all, just what a cool name for anyone to have.  It, too, carries with it much responsibility much like Spiderman.  (now there's a name with a lot to live up to -- if you've got a moniker like Spiderman you're either a wall-crawler or tiny with many legs!)  Think of some of the Slaughters who have come before:  Congresswoman Louise Slaughter (now there's where a name like Louise really works!) who wrote the report "America for Sale: The Cost of Republican Corruption".  No shrinking violet she!  Or Sgt Slaughter, recently inducted into the World Wrestling Federation's Hall of Fame!  Or... OK, that's all I can think of, but still!  Those are pretty dang good, so Dawn D. Princess has a lot to live up to when she adds "Slaughter" to the signature!

You put it all together and it's a name you just can't say enough about.  Know how I know?  386 words so far, people!  But we can't forget the mystery of the middle initial:  D.  Know what I think?  I believe, will all the passion in my heart, that her middle name has just GOT to be Danger!  It fits, and who else but THE Dawn D. Princess Slaughter should be able to say, honestly, that Danger is her middle name?  Oh yes, you can't argue with the logic there...

You're probably thinking that's all there is to say, but I have one last, final, perfect capper to the whole dang thing.  This woman, with the best name ever, sent her letter on behalf of the department for which she works.  That department? 

Special.  Investigations.  Unit.

I'm gonna say that once more, in case anyone isn't following me here:  she works for the Special Investigations Unit.

So to recap, somewhere out there is a woman who's legal name is actually Dawn D. (probably for Danger) Princess Slaughter, who works for the Special Investigations Unit. 

I would kill for that business card.

11:34 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Never too old to be a STAR!

So my Dad reads the newspaper every day.  Religiously.  (well, as religiously as any athiest does anything)  One day he finds a small item about a children's show that's being produced here in our little hamlet of Eugene.  (Hmmm, Hamlet the Children's show...)  On a lark he throws his hat into the ring to audition, and now a few months later I'm proud to announce that my Dad, one Tom Snyder of Eugene, OR, will be playing Captain Carsten Macaroon on the upcoming children's program called "Nana's Cottage!"

I find this ever so cool.  First of all, having been a kid around my Dad I can say with certainty that he is fun.  But I also like that he doesn't treat kids like morons.  He's like Looney Tunes cartoons or the Muppets or Rocky and Bullwinkle or flavored vodka -- there's something in my Dad for every age to appreciate and enjoy!  Also I know my Dad to be part of the source for my naturally hammy nature, so he should be performing for someone somewhere.  This way he also gets paid!

I'm also grateful to Dad for allowing me to come along (ala coat tails express) to see what all of this is going to be like.  We went to the orientation last weekend, and that was much more fun than one's typical orientation.  No locker combination to memorize, no long-winded explanations of safety rules (as far as I could tell there was full encouragement for running in the halls!)  It was more like a big party, w/ yummy catered bbq dinner and much mingling. 

We also watched the pilot episode.  Here I must be honest:  I'm hoping it's going to improve.  I have a very low threshold for children's programming that constantly talks down to the kids, and there was more than a little of that in the pilot.  but heck, the pilot of the best of shows is normally very different (and not as good) as the final product.  (see how I'm keeping hope alive?  That skill brought to you by Sesame Street, as well as the letter double-u and the number pi!)

But no matter what this is cool with a capital coo!  For anyone interested in seeing more on all of this just take a trip to the website of the production company Polara Productions.  Of note would be the "meet the characters" link on the bottom of the main page as well as the "click here to see the latest" link which will show you a picture of the whole cast.  Enjoy!  And be sure to let me know if you'd like to be charter members of the Captain Macaroon fan club, due to be created this fall.  Club President: moi!  (I got the french from Miss Piggy.)

12:46 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The kind of thing that makes blogs tempting (and silly)

So my friend Rachel has a real blog (w/ it's own space and such) and she posted this thing she called a "meme" with a bunch of questions one is to answer.  As I read it I thought to myself these things:

1) Man, this is silly -- who comes up with these questions?

2) Yeah, I would have included that thing if I'd done this.

3)Good lord, I actually feel like doing this.  I'm officially getting sucked into the blogosphere mindset...

I wish I could say I was stronger than this, but since we all are so close it would be wrong to lie to you.  And  in the interest of honesty, I'll go ahead and encourage you to go do something worthwhile with your time rather than read this silliness...

...but if you do read it, be warned:  it just might suck you in too!

What were you doing ten years ago?

Winter of 1996?  I was still living on the East Coast (Maryland to be exact) and working the best job I've ever had at TTIS with Toni and Shahram.  We did event planning and website building and travelled and had a blast and did GOOD work!  I was finally losing my patients with my crappy, crappy relationship  (those of you who met him know what I'm talkin' 'bout!) and was about 5 years in to my Comedy-Improv career.  Frankly I was having a really good time in my life, not counting the previously mentioned crappy relationship!

What were you doing five years ago?

Winter of 2001 I was living in Seattle, working as a Supervisor for the Customer Care Center of ShareBuilder.com.  I had the cutest little cottage between the University district and Fremont, and I was driving down to Eugene about once a month.  By the end of this year I had decided that it was time to complete the trip home that I'd started about 4 years earlier.

What were you doing one year ago?

Winter of 2005.  Why is this harder to remember than the other two?  I was unemployed (and had been since the previous fall) and was pretty much at rock bottom.  I was taking unemployment benefits for the first time in my life, which was necessary but just felt crappy.  (there's that word again!)  But right after this point things began looking up, so don't feel too worried for our hero, folks!

What were you doing five hours ago?

Traffic court.  There will probably be a separate, and heated, blog entry on that to come!

Five snacks you enjoy.

1. cold cereal with really cold milk
2. white corn chips w/ cheese dip 
3. turkey teriyaki jerkey
4. carrots with ranch or dill dip
5. saltines either w/ chicken salad or egg salad

Five songs you know the lyrics to.

So far everyone I've talked to finds this question kind of mind-boggling, because are there really people out there who have only memorized the words to five songs?  Really?  For me if it's a song I like memorizing the lyrics becomes an imperative.  Otherwise how does one sing along?  If you're like my father you would like to know the words, but it doesn't come easily to you.  Or more to the point, getting the correct words doesn't come easily to you.  My Dad still enjoys singing along with that classic Beatles "Gonna Buy a Chrysler" ("Paperback Writer" to you or me).  So instead I've decided to tackle this question as "Five Songs you most enjoy singing along with (and therefore, by extension, also know the words to.)"  They would be:

1. Vienna by Billy Joel
2. Blow Away by Kate Bush (playing in my ear as I type this!) 
3. I'll Be Home by Randy Newman 
4. Shed a Little Light by James Taylor
5. Red Dress by Maia Sharp

(Note:  There are SO many more songs that could also be in this list it was really random how I selected these 5.  Don't be surprised if an annex to this question doesn't show up on the blog some day.  With, I kid you not, thousands of additional choices.  Oh yes, be afraid.  Be very afraid..._

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire.

1. Pay off and fix up my parent's house
2. Buy my own house, also in Eugene, with my own darkroom and theater room. 
3. Travel a LOT
4. Find a career that I will enjoy, regardless of it's salary
5. Create a space in the country where stray pets can go rather than being euthanized, along w/ a paid caretaker.

Five bad habits.

1. Indulging in blog silliness 
2. Making snap judgements
3. Being the laziest person ON the planet
4. White lies 
5. Making promises/commitments I'm not sure I can keep

Five favorite things I have in my house.

1. My papercast art, done by Aunt Martha 
2. My beading table 
3. My big, brown, vintage, leather chair named Eamon 
4. My TiVO (life-saver) 
5. My Muppets action figure collection

Five people to tag.

OK, this part I don't do.  Instead, if there is anyone out there who would like to partake in this silliness I say:

RUN!  RUN NOW BEFORE YOU, TOO, ARE SUCKED IN!  THERE ARE BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE, I PROMISE!  READ A BOOK!  WRITE A BOOK!  TALK TO PEOPLE, WITH YOUR FACE AND EVERYTHING!

...but if that doesn't work then I say go ahead and give it a go.  It's kind of fun.  (that's where it gets ya!)

-beej

10:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Space -- The final frontier...

OK, so I was invited to join this craziness by my BFF Mrm.  (Miriam to many of you, but only I get to include the "BFF."  I've had it copyrighted -- don't encourage my rath!)  I'm not sure what to expect from this, but since everyone else on the blessed (that's pronounced "bless-ed", not "blest") planet is blogging these days I thought I'd give it a try.  I'm nothing if not a follower. 

So then the question becomes -- how does one choose what to 'blog' about?  Is this like an online diary?  Something like this:

"Dear Blog:

Today was such a great day.  Timmy Spencer totally looked right at me in the halls!  I almost died!!  Totally!!!  And then I tried out for the drama club and totally got in!  Christina said I was totally the best one there -- she's so cool!  Gotta go -- Real World is on."

...hmm.  Possibly not enough exclamation points there, but you get the general idea.  My issue with this concept is that isn't a diary, by it's very concept, a private thing?  And is there anything less private than publishing it on the internet?  (yes, you're right, I could air it on television, but I think Tyra Banks has already cornered that market.)  So I'm thinking that's not the way for me to go.  (totally)

I could do like some other friends I know -- a daily log to share the comings and goings of their life.  But I live my life, and I happen to know that with some exceptions there isn't much worth reading about.  Here's a good example of a day in the life of BJ -- Tuesday, February 7th, 2006:

-went to work.  worked a bunch.  I have to hire a new assistant, so I reviewed a pile of resumes, found some that seemed promising and called those for interviews.  For the others I sent the nicest rejection letter I could compose -- I've been there too many times to not be sympathetic.

-after work I headed home to finish my college math homework and have a fabulous snack of home-made potstickers.  (don't be impressed -- these are store-bought, frozen jobbies from Costco.  But I took them from their frozen prizon (i.e. ziplock bag) and cooked them at home, so they are home-made)  I call it "college math," but people, it's algebra.  I admit it -- I am not math savvy.  But I'm literally giving it the old college try!

-went to class.  I'm pleased to report a decent score on the first exam -- 94 percent; Not the "A " I was shooting for, but not the "F" I was fearing, so a very reasonable result.  I'm going for the "A " next time (now I know what to pay special attention to, mistake-wise) to see if I can balance things out in the end.  And still this math makes sense -- I can't believe it myself.  Secretly I believe that I have some kind of embellism pushing on a spot on my brain, the side-effects of which include math smarts.  Though it's working in my favor for now, the eventual explosion and death are going to be a bummer.  I hope finals come first.

-Finally I came home, watched TV (Gilmore Girls, Scrubs, Love Monkey, Daily Show -- judge me if you must), ate dinner and did my math homework.  I did a load of laundry, some dishes and WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS?  Is there nothing better you could be doing with your life?  Really?  REALLY?  That makes me sad.

...so you see my problems with that avenue.  I don't want my blog to make me or anyone else sad. 

Then there's option C:  The rant space.  The pedestal or soap box from which to vent my own spleen.  (because believe you me, if you don't vent them things they get ripe!)  I could blast and wail and even do a little teeth-nashing on any topic I want.  Really let the world know how I feel. 

Just as soon as I come up with something I feel really spleen-venty about.  But as is always the case in pressure-cooker situations like this, I got nothin.  Oh I could tell you exactly what I want for Christmas right now, because the pressure's no longer on in that area, but with the entire internet-surfing world out there waiting on me to find a topic upon which to bust-a-rhyme (oh god, does it have to rhyme too?  Gah!) I am failing to be inspired. 

I'm sure that half-way to school something will strike me as very fitting.  I'll think about it as I drive, sure I'll be able to write it down once I stop driving.  But then the topic will morf into another idea, and another, and it's gone by mile post 20.  Like so:  "I know, I'll write about ego plates that are impossible to decypher.  Man, I hate that!  What's the point of putting a message or name on your car if no one can understand it?  You have to get right up behind the car to even read what it says.  And that's tailgating, which is illegal.  Oh yeah, I have to pay that speeding ticket.  Can't believe that guy was parked on that side street.  Never even saw him!  Hey, where IS my saw?  I haven't seen it (saw it?) since cutting the bottom off of that excellent Christmas tree.  It really was an excellent Christmas this year.  I am still enjoying my fancy gourmet spatula.  What makes something gourmet?  And where does that word come from?  Probably french.  Why do we use so many of their words anyway?  French Toast, French Fries -- ooh, I really want some french fries.  Screw aerobics class, I'm headed to McDonalds!..."

Get the very tragic, embarrasing and all too familiar picture?

So I'm still thinking about how best to use this, my little corner of cyber-space.  If anyone has any thoughts/suggestions/ideas send them along!  For now I'll keep checking my spleen for a build-up of pressure.

3:48 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment