so...in this hour.
Current mood: cranky

This might take awhile.

Everyday that I listen to my ipod, [which is just about 6-7 days a week] I scroll through my Artists list & sigh at how many great bands no longer exist. Amazing, get-your-heart-racing, can't-compare, talented, crazy bands.
Some I love & truly miss.
-Waking Ashland
-Chasing Victory
-Blink-182
-Subseven
-Outlet
-In Fair Verona
-To His Divine
-Syrens

I'm probably missing some, but those come to mind. I always think, "Gah, it's so perfect. I need new music from them!" Now, some good projects have come from some of those bands (Disco Curtis, I'm sure is going to be ah-mazing <3 ) like Angels & Airwaves, We Shot The Moon & Big Surrender, but I'm so selfish I just want everyone to suck it up & get back together. Suck. It. Up.

"Listen to you. You're so selfish."

No, I didn't say that to myself, & no, the bands didn't either. It didn't have anything to do with what I just mentioned. Someone very close to me said this to me last week. It broke my heart. I really did have to listen to myself & take notice to how I've been acting, & yeah, I've been like this my whole life. Taking advantage of being an only child, wanting to take control in class & in clubs in high school, always wanting to fix people's problems for them in college. I've come to the realization I need to take a step back.

I'm not even the center of attention most of the time. People who know me know that it's a bit tough to get a relationship going with me. You pretty much have to kick it off, & let me warm up to you. I'm not the best at initating a conversation...unless we're already friends...and then you can't get me to shut up. I'm probably complaining a lot by then. I complain about people. I complain about things that suck [obviously]. I complain about people complaining. I complain all the time--about everything! See? I'm complaining about complaining!

One thing I'm currently working on (yeah, since last week) is to not be so selfish & also not to complain so much. I guess I'm just asking for prayer. If you are around me or see me, & you see I'm being stubborn/selfish or I'm complaining, snap me back into reality. I don't need this negativity. I am so blessed beyond measure--I need to be praising God everyday & blessing others, not focusing on the silly negatives.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life...  -- Philippians 2:14 through [part of] 2:16

The Rocket Summer -- So In This Hour...
So long before
You stood so long
At my door
Abundantly you have asked
Have you received
Is this everything that you hoped for?
Is this everything you've dreamed?
Well I'm not sure
I don't really need

Life and history
Repeat and I
Will see visions vividly
On how everything will end the same
Is this everything that you hoped for?
Is this everything you've dreamed?
Well I wanted to be
From this point, you'll see

So in this hour
Everything I do
Will be all for this moment
Everything's for you
My heart is open
And will end
So take it

Get up, get up, get up

So much feeling of my soul
It's singing
And everybody feels the same
Is this everything that you hoped for?
Is this everything you've dreamed?
I think it is
From this point. you'll see

So in this hour
Everything I do
Will be all for this moment
Everything's for you
My heart is open
And will end
So take it

Stay in place
When there's so
Many things to say
I want to help you now
How does it take
But I just don't
But I just don't
So please take my life
And use it
I'm ready

Currently watching : Once Release date: 2007-12-18

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