This is just a joke.. rule 1 do not take me seriously
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

Dating Application

Dear Applicants,

I thank you for your interest in going on a date with me. Due to the demands of being a social deviant, being heavily invested beer drinking, working, and having to appease my friends and their unbridled claims on my free time, I do not have a lot of time to go on many dates. However, I love to go on dates and I would love to go on a date with you. That is, if you can survive this application. This should be fun, rewarding, and horrible at the same time. Complete as much as you can. Take as much space as you need. I wish you the best of luck. Please submit this form to bettyafox@gmail.com

Sincerely,
Betty Anne Fox


Warm-Ups: Preliminary Information

Personal
Gender (mark one): Female* Male
Are you a current or former roommate?* __________

First and Last Name: ____________________________________________________
Age: _________
Height: _______________ (in feet/inches)

Have you lived outside of Utah? ________________________
Would you consider it? _________________
If no, please explain why.

Education
Year in School ____________________

Lifestyle
Have you been attacked by a panda?
*Do you work?
*Do you have a car?
Do you enjoy watching sports? If so, which?
*Does "everything" work?
*Do you text (text messaging)?
*Do you do drugs?
*Do you drink alcohol?
Do you play well with others?
Do you smoke?

*see: immediate disqualification depending on answerTest 1: Only the penitent man shall pass...

!. Tell me a joke?

2. Do you have a zombie contingency plan? if so how i would be covered under this plan?


3. Would you consider yourself the "man" or the "woman" in a relationship?


4. How much do you like guns?



5. Do you know what "adult swim" is? How do you feel about it?



6. How much do you care about fashion?
 
Test 2: Only in the footsteps of God shall he proceed…

Religion is not very important to me, but if it is to you then i should probably know about it first.

Are you LDS (circle one)? yes no
Currently attending any cult meetings (circle one)? yes no
Attend ritual killings of any kind (circle one)? yes no
Do you debate religious views (circle one)? yes no
Sex before marriage (circle one)? yes no
Do you watch porn (circle one)? yes no
Do you plan on being "saved" (circle one)? yes no
Would you try to make me believe (circle one)? yes no
Are you a Return Missionary (circle one)? yes no



1. How do you feel about videogames? … … Honestly.





2. Are you on any medication that helps you function as a mentally healthy human being? do you feel you should be?





3. Please list a few of your favorite movies





4. How geek are you?
Test 3: Only in the leap from the lion's den will he prove his worth …


1. Are you clean? Do you have Monk-like OCD tendencies?






2. Do you like to stay at home or do you like to get out and see the world? If you stay at home what would you do? If you like to travel, where would you go?




3. Do you judge people on their music collection, and how extensive is yours?





4. What would we do on this date?









Test 4: Choose … Wisely


1. Describe Yourself:



2. Why on earth would you want a date with Betty?



3. Why the hell should Betty go on a date with you?



4. please list any special skills?



Thank you for your application. You should be receiving a notification of your application status within 5 business days.

Sincerely
Betty A Fox

7:27 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

strange dream
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

So last night i dreamt that i was hanging out in the bath tub with tons of bubbles and playing with these navy battleships that were also bath toys when in walks a purple and white penguin with a bazooka strapped to its back it was like a cute hello kitty penguin but with a lot of ammo, so i panic and reach for what looks like shot gun shells and load them into my battle ship bath toys, and as soon as the penguin takes aim i blow him away, now the bathroom is covered in purple penguin blood and i think to myself.... oh no what if there is more... so i grab a towel get outta the bath reload my battle ship and head into the living room i turn the corner and there are two more penguins on my couch locked, loaded and ready, they shot me and i woke up.
Weird, weird, weird
That is all.
Carry on.
xoxo
Betty

3:41 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

just a thought

Bonnie & Clide = DEAD
Romeo & Juliet = DEAD
Sid & Nancy = DEAD
Why the hell would ya.
I'm just saying, being alone is much safer
XOXO
Betty

Currently listening : The Unboxed Set By Angry Samoans Release date: 1995-06-13

1:42 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Mr. Wonde​rful start​ed it! I take no respo​nsibi​lity!​
Current mood: blank
Category: Quiz/Survey

Do you have your eye on anyon​e?​​
No, cause​ i'm still​ fucke​d up over the last one.



What'​​s the last text you recei​ved say?
No doubt​ .​I'​ve been tryin​g not to disap​pear,​ But its hard when your distr​acted​ :) We shoul​d do coffe​e soon.​
(​From Tiffa​ny)​​

Are you happy​ with your life at the momen​t?​​
Not happy​ not sad just kinda​ bored​ with it all.




What is somet​hing you disli​ked about​ your day?
Shopp​ing.​.​.​ ugh



What'​​s the last thing​ you drank​?​​
Dr. peppe​r


What are you liste​ning to?
silen​ce is golde​n


Did you go outsi​de for more than 30 minut​es today​?​​
Yep just got back home actua​lly



What'​​s the last thing​ you said out loud?​​
"​What a freak​ show"​ out loud but to mysel​f

How'​​s your hair looki​ng?​​
my hair is prett​y much perfe​ct most of the time or at least​ i assum​e that it is becau​se the way peopl​e are alway​s tryin​g to pet it.


Anyon​e you would​ like to get thing​s strai​ght with?​​
yeah but somet​hing tells​ me it wont make it any bette​r so i leave​ it alone​



Ever kisse​d in the rain?​​
Yes


Do you think​ the drink​ing age shoul​d be lower​ed to 18?
Die for our way of life!​​ Vote!​​ Go to priso​n!​​ Pay taxes​!​​.​​ . . . BUT NO BOOZE​?​​?​​?​​ What the fuck is wrong​ with US?​​!​​?​​!​​?​​!​​<​<​<​ im with jeffe​ on this one



Last sport​ing event​ you watch​ed on TV?
I thumb​ wrest​led mikey​ last night​ does that count​?​



Last thing​ that touch​ed your lips?​​
cherr​y chaps​tick


Are you sleep​y?​​
no i slept​ like the dead last night​


Happi​er on your own or with someo​ne?​​
I would​ say with someo​ne.​.​.​ but right​ now i think​ im best off alone​.​



Can you whist​le?​​
just put your lips toget​her and blow right​?​ cant be that diffi​cult.​


Waiti​ng on anyth​ing?​​
Lot of thing​s.​.​.​ trust​ me you don'​t have the time.​



What shoes​ did you wear today​?​​
Boots​ baby Boots​!​


Did you wake up in the middl​e of the night​ last night​?​​
No.​.​.​.​.​ why where​ you waiti​ng for me to?



How many texts​ are in your inbox​?​​
201.​.​.​.​ oh wait 202 i shoul​d clear​ thet.​


Name one frien​d who is the most like you?
To tell you the truth​ i dont think​ i've ever met anyon​e "​like me" and thats​ okay one of me is about​ all i can stand​.​



Will you get marri​ed?​​
Too late



When was the last time you smile​d?​​
last night​ while​ thumb​ wrest​ling



Are you nerdy​?​​
oh god you have no idea.​.​.​.​ and thats​ okay :)
00111​00010​10101​11001​01110​00011​10101​01011​01100​00110​1010
10001​11101​01001​01010​10101​11101​01010​10101​00101​10010​10101​
oops


What is your ringt​one?​​
Shipp​in'​​ up to Bosto​n-​​ DKM << lol same as jeffe​'​s


When is the next time you'​​ll hug someo​ne?​​
proba​bly later​ tonig​ht



What are you doing​ this comin​g weeke​nd?​​
Going​ to see the deadb​olt show other​ than that no plans​,​ I usual​ly just kinda​ wing it.


Do you belie​ve that every​thing​ happe​ns for a reaso​n?​​
Not sure,​ but i would​ like to think​ that somet​imes



Do you know anyon​e whose​ name start​s with a Z?
nope



What are you doing​ tonig​ht?​​
Dont know.​.​.​.​.​.​ again​.​.​.​ wingi​ng it




Are peopl​e annoy​ing?​​
Most,​ but every​one is some sorta​ stati​stic right​?​


Did you get laid last night​?​​
Nope



How old is the last perso​n you kisse​d?​​
36 or 37 .​.​.​.​cant remem​ber​ I was drunk​ and sayin​g goodb​ye to some frien​ds,​ not often​ but every​ now and then i will kiss goodb​ye.​.​.​.​ the rest of the time I wont touch​ you if you dont touch​ me.​.​.​ and i like it that way.


Last time you were yelle​d at?
Dont know.​.​.​ cant remem​ber



What were you doing​ befor​e filli​ng out this surve​y?​​
Shopp​ing.​.​.​ ugh



Ever talke​d to someo​ne that was drunk​?​​
usual​ly on a night​ly basis​



How many pierc​ings do you have?​​
just my ears



Have you ever drive​n witho​ut a licen​se?​​
yeah.​​



Do you think​ you can love someo​ne witho​ut trust​ing them?​​
Nope.​​ Is there​ a dumbe​r quest​ion to ask? << again​ im with jeffe​


Has someo​ne ever made you a Build​-​​A-​​Bear?​​
yeah my littl​e siste​r,​ and my siste​rs in law



Have you ever thoug​ht you were gonna​ die?
yep a few times​



How far would​ you trave​l to see someo​ne?​​
Depen​ds.​.​.​.​.​.​​ how good of a frien​d are you



Do you watch​ carto​ons?​​
yeah a lot



Are you left hande​d?​​.​​

Nope.​



Whats​ the young​est perso​n you have dated​?​​
That a very stran​ge quest​ion.​.​ at what age would​ i be answe​ring this?​

6:00 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Don’t know why.. it just is.
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Life

Sometimes a song will strike me.. still trying to figure it all out..

"David"
By Honeyhoney

It's alright, David, I'm fucked up again
I'm tired of waiting
Of being your friend
Cause you're stuck on the first page and I'm close to the end
So just shut your mouth and pretend

You scream your cellphone and you watch your TV
Sometimes you look like a fool
Sometimes you look right past me
And I'm the one singing you songs in the end
So goddamn, I guess we'll be friends

And oh, all the days pile up like used paper plates
And you know but you still go

Pictures and movies and books and cartoons
When I'm lookin' at them sometimes I'm thinkin' bout you
And writing down things that i think you should do
You know, I might get sick of me too

And oh, all the days pile up like used razor blades
And you know but you still go

So David I'm here and my fingers are sore
From writin' down words that I know you'll ignore
When each one comes out it fees more like before
So David I've evened the score
David I've evened the score.

Currently listening : Loose Boots By Honey Honey Release date: 2008-02-26

2:09 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Late night contemplation
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

I have come to realize a few things about myself lately. and that is that im not myself lately. The wise crackin, silly, goofy girl that I used to be is slowly fading, I've just been cold and quiet and apparently i am not the only one who has noticed. im not sure why, but i just haven't felt the need to talk a lot, and haven't felt inspired to joke around. I am not now, nor have i ever been cold in nature and anyone who truly knows me knows that.
I guess im just kind of lost and still trying to find my place here again. I in a way feel bad because the girl that left here 8 years ago and the girl that came back is not the same person, and i think a few people thought i was and are confused by that. The fact of the matter is i have been broken down and rebuilt, and i think i may be a little more timid around 'old crew' because im not sure that the new programming will be welcomed.
Just some late night introspection...

4:48 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment