Hey everyone I wanted to let you in on a cool guitar workshop on April 6th with Machine of Jakkarta which is the new band I will be singing in! Xoxo Biffy
BW&BK Exclusive: JAKKARTA Featuring BIF NAKED - "Full-On, Balls To The Wall, Screaming Metal"
As previously reported, Canadian rock icon BIF NAKED has teamed up with guitarist The Machine for a new full-on metal project called JAKKARTA. BW&BK recently caught up with Machine to discuss the project. The following is an excerpt from the story:
Attachment vs. Non-attachment: The Year of The Tit
Most compassionate and benevolent ass-kickin' army of coolness-people! Happy New Year!!!!!! (Or, as we say in Couvie: "happy nuke rear") highest blessings to everyone and I wish you all the veryvery best things for 2008. Truly we are all so fortunate. Especially moi! Sooooo many reasons why...but my first and foremost reason is all of YOU! Thank you so nmuch for all your warm wishes and good vibes! You guys fucking rule so hard! I, Obviously, do not want everything I talk about for the rest of my natural born life to be all "tit shit" so we will not . I will just say that I am happy and have cool new Iron Maiden sneakers to rock in zee cancer ward, yo! Ya feel me, bruthas and sistas? I HAD to do an interview and press release cause I felt strongly about ALL of us women/grrls not being aware enough or confident enough or just plain weirded out by our own boobs. I didn't want one single woman to ever sit around in suffering in silence or being afraid to get checked out or say anything or think it can't happen to them. It can happen to anyone of us. Myself included! I want you to know I do not say "why me" I say "why not me". I did not cry for myself.........I cried for Benazir Bhutto being stolen from the people. I cried for Kyle Swanson taking his own life, this year. I cried for Darfur. And on and on. Life is so hard for so many people on this planet, we simply have to always look at the bigger picture. And my bigger picture is rockandfuckinroll!! Always has been. I know we are going to have a killer recording schedule this spring, with my project with Machine, Jakkarta, and with the next Bif Naked record. Fuck yeeeaaaah! I'm so stoked I can't even begin to express it properly! Horns, Baby! HORNS!!!!!!!! I am self-conscious and kinda feel dumb about all the attention.... But I hope at the very least- girls take their boobs more seriously. Even little bouncing vegan boobies, like the ones I sport, can't hide from good ol' cancerooni. So feel yerself up. Its fun, anyway, right? I don't feel like I am any more special or different from any other human- cancer warder or otherwise. The only thing that makes me different from the other, superhumanbeautifulwarrior cancer patients is my G.G.Allin tee shirt and my trusty, Lamb of God baseball cap. Word!!! Love and peace and serenity to you all. Om hare hare om. Om Sai Ram. Metal. Love, Biffy Xoxo
Todo lo que llevo en mi bosolo es un lapiz de labios y una pistola...
Buenos dias! Buenos tardes! Buenos noches! ..and, of course, Sai Ram! Namaste! Salaam! Hola! Salut! Yo!yo!yo! Whasssup, Beautiful People! I'm home from my trip! Yay! Reunited with my cherished babydogs and tatami mat, I am now full-speed ahead on my writing and gettin' ready for Whistler's call. Gettin out the ol', cracked-and-repaired BurtonFL, and diggin' the skidoo boots and puttin' chains on the tires. Fuck yeah! Gotta get in the good shred season before all those Olympic people start comin' in the next couple years, right? Because then it will take, like, six hours to make the drive with all the traffic. Maybe we should move to Squamish?
So, Mexico was superb! We met and made so many friends, it was kinda hard to say goodbye. The second week we stayed in Playa del Carmen and it was easy to live there. Even looked at property! I would get up at five or six (you know me!) And we would hit the local gym before the sun got too hot. Found a juice bar for beetroot-and-celery shakes (just me, not the boy!) And hit the beach by ten every day. It didn't rain very much the second week, so the sun was hot! I, basically, stayed under an umbrella and big hat every minute, while Walker frolicked in the ocean. He looked like a surfer boy and I resembled Morticia Adams. Our boutique hotel was full of European playboys-in-speedos and Brazilian supermodels-without-bikini-tops. We were definitely strange in the eyes of the other, "sophisticated" guests. In seclusion, I mindfully deliberated and felt extremely fortunate to be present in every moment. Here are some notes:
1. Octopi (octopusses?) Are shy, gentle creatures that roam the ocean floor and pile up stones to make lairs for themselves; when scared or disturbed, they crawl in and pull stones across the front to cover the entrance...to hide from the people who want to kill them to make ceviche. As there was ceviche on every table in every restaurant.....I felt sad the same way I feel about all the cows and chickens. (But that is a whole other, endless essay/blog, ripe with manifesto. Not for today.)
2. All boobs are cool to see on the private topless beaches. Nope. My bathing suit stayed on. But it's fun to see everyone else. :)
3. Mexican graveyards are alive.
4. Habanera peppers are thoroughly exiting to eat and try to digest.
5. Mexican elections are full of scandal but, surprisingly, less corruption corporately than American (again, I will safe my digressions on socio-political opinionated bull hooey for another time).
6. Kidnappings are well-thought out acts of personal terrorism, intended to gain money and merit. *yawn* so eighties!
7. "Lindo" is a word, often used, to describe my husband by the countless, beautiful local women. It means "cute". Walker did not appreciate it. Hahahha!
8. I am allergic to mango.
9. They have Wal-Mart in Playa del Carmen.
10. Most of the people we met have absolutely zero interest in hockey. Weird.
I am readying for Sai Baba's upcoming birthday, next week. The babydogs and I will be on our annual retreat and Walker is covering all manner of things, like Giants Hockey and Lions Football. It will be his first Sai Baba Birthday Party and I am very happy for him to experience its delight and wonder. Walker is a good sport. Hahaha! I know it is also "Thanksgiving" for many of you. Be thankful but HUG a turkey, yo. They are nervous like Nicklas and some even have eyelashes as long as Annastasia's, ya feel me? Hahaha! Just the mommy's two cents. Be well, be healthy, be vital and live your truth. Listen to metal because its good for your soul- rumor has it: metal will save you! :) Oh- and eat a jicama. Plain, cubed, with lime juice and sea salt. You will be hooked! Big love and blessings and om hare om. Xo Biffy Xo Om Nama Shivaya. fight the good fight. Hare hare rama. rock and roll all night.
The final webisode of Bif Naked Bride will air on Friday November 2nd. You can only watch it at bodogTV. Here's the trailer for everything leading up to the final webisode!
Namaste y hola va salaam and a big kiss from Centro Americo to everyone! I am on my "honeymoon" though I do not know the history of the expression. Let's just say Walker and I split Dodge and flew South for a few weeks. The Babydogs remain in Vancouver with my dearest friends looking after them. I am so blessed and thankful for my friends. I miss my puppies with a growing desperation, but am trying to be present, live in this moment, and enjoy the solitude that will soon disappear. Right? It has rained everyday we have been here, much to my surfer-husband's shagrin. The rain brings a familiar comfort to my soul, like The Rainforest is following me to keep me from getting homesick. Luckily, there are mucho papayas and bananas! Haha! And, of course, Walker's teaching me all about The World Series baseball, and how that Francis kid (from Delta, B.C.!!!!!!!!!!!) Is starting as the pitcher in Game One and Colorado is against Boston and how awesome it is to root for him and feel for him. The whole fuckin crowd yells and tries to psyche the kid out! I couldn't believe it! Its like a hard-core audience (or how that one time, in Paris, the promoter offered us the opening slot for Slayer and the agents and my managers had to turn it down because the audience would have crawled on-stage and beat the shit out of us!!!!! Awwwwww! They just didn't wanna hear no "Daddy'sGettinMarried" before "Seasons in the Abyss" I guess? Hahaha!) We will keep rootin' for Francis! Yay, Francis!
We are at a secluded destination, in the middle of nowhere. Last time I was here, there was a certain British Prime Minister in the very room next door. Yes, my friends, I basically behaved myself. Had my Walker met him, I'm sure things may have been very different. For example, Two days ago, a renowned doctor and author, from Mexico City, had the pleasure of meeting my gregarious husband. The rest of the afternoon found them singing with the mariachi band (after the Good Doctor educating said husband on the delicacies of "premium" Mexican tequila....and after three bottles of Moet+Chandon champagne.) And they are probably going to be lifelong friends. Of course, I watched from the safety of my plate of watermelon and took pictures. I met a Sai Baba devotee who works at the spa, here at the hotel. She was so cool and we talked long into the afternoon about her life, her children, and my trips to South India. It was superauspicious and I will never forget meeting her. Walker loves the beach so much, he has to have a swim every morning. The area we are on is so big, they provide golf carts and bicycles to get around. We take bikes. We cycled to the beach yesterday, like most mornings, looking at all the lizards and turtles in our path, and racing up the hills. We got to the waters' edge, thankful the clouds had not yet opened to soak us, and Walker gave me a kiss and dove into the surf. (I waited on a wooden plank as I totally bailed and slipped in the rain, the night before, on the footpath between the pool and our cabana, fucking-up/bloodying my foot.........so I didn't want to get sand in the fresh abrasion). I watched him for a while until he disappeared in the crashing waves. He was having a good time as always...........and then he slowly came back to shore with his head down and the weirdest look on his face. It was as if he got stung by a jellyfish or something. Nope. Young Walker lost his wedding ring. He was sooooo bummed. Poor kid. He figured I would be mad but I wasn't. Non-attachment. Its just a ring. Right? He didn't break his neck or something. We have full bellies and a place to live and rockandfuckinroll and healthy dogs and lots of other shit. Right? Besides, who knows who will find it and be stoked? Maybe someone will find it and hock it to buy food for their dogs, or something? We are here for a few more days and then we will go on one more adventure for one more week. We may rent dirtbikes and go into the jungles. I will keep you posted. I aint a reeeeeaaaal big fan of centipedes so I may ixnay the unglejay. Hahaha! Stay tuned, too, as usual- everything is filmed! Eeeesh! Again, trying to just "be" in the moment as the recording and more MMA action will heat-up upon my return and these days will be a memory. So, be healthy and stay focused, friends. I appreciate everyone writing and sending all the good energies! You guys all rule so fuckin' hard! Go with gusto, y via con Dios. Sai Ram! Hare hare Ram. Shanti om. Azadi, Biffy Xoxo Om Nama Shivaya. fight the good fight. Hare hare rama. rock and roll all night.
Webisodes, dirty laundry, and rocknfucknroll...
Current mood: Stoked
Yo! Namaste! Salaam! Webisodes in da house! Yeeeeeah, boyeeeeee! Bonjour, mes amis! You guys rule! Yep! The webisodes are up and rolling and I gotta' say: livin' in the rocknroll fishbowl is pretty crazy! Thanks for all the great feedback on BIFNAKEDBRIDE! (On Bodoglife.net) there are two episodes up per week, like a continuing saga of highjinx. The cameras catch everything and even Walker gets in the mix with the handheld (I don't actually beat him, but we have differing opinions about what should be "off limits" ) I commend our editors on keepin' it clean, ya feel me? Hahaha! Obviously, we are complete opposites (I like Dimmu Borgir, he likes Fitty Cent; I won't pollute my body with animal flesh, he wants a burger; I didn't own a television, he brought three plasma screens to catch all the football and hockey; I am into yoga and kirtans, he pumps iron; I enjoy debating post-modern feminist theory, he likes girly magazines; etc,etc) I don't know HOW the fuck the Universe conspired to get us together. But it did. And we are so solid. And its so fucking funny. (Both, funny-weird, and funny-haha). As you may know, he has never seen one of my shows. Has never even been to any hardcore shows or seen a mosh pit. And now I am writing a record gearing up for three straight years of touring, fighting, and rip-snortin' rock shows. Godfuckinghelphim!!!!!! Hahahhaa! I'm not saying I have no sympathy, but its gonna' be a crash course. I don't know who it will be harder on?
Right now, we are preparing for Eid Al Fittr party (end of Ramadan month) and the babydogs are stoked because they get extra snacks (chickpeas-mash with rice-n-sweet-soymilk concoction). Basically I feed the puppies and the boy the same food. What could be easier? :) I am still up at three a.m. (The Boy sleeps till nine) and the writing is menacing and constant. I'm gonna need those W.A.S.P. Armbands pretty soon. Super into midtempo dirge. I don't know where it will lead- but every record is a journey. I don't know any different.
He is trying to drag me outa my head and put the flyin' V down, long enough, to go on a "honeymoon". Ya gotta be fuckin' kidding me. Though I find that type of thing unnecessary (like "wedding gifts"...instead of which, we asked people to simply donate to S.P.C.A. Or something) it looks like we will take off. I'm still hoping for Goa (India) but he has to actually get a passport (!!!). Yes, there will actually be cameras on my honeymoon, too. In the meantime, kiddies, eat your bananas and help people. Any people. Do something selfless and be concious and mindful in your every deliberations. Why the fuck not? You are all-powerful. Use your power for good and thwart the assholes! Hahaha! Be healthy and keep your good energy bright, yo. Sending you love and positivity from the fishbowl..... Biffy Xoxoxo Om Nama Shivaya. fight the good fight. Hare hare rama. rock and roll all night.
my! Biffy’s gettin’ married!
Current mood: ecstatic
namaste, everyone. salaam, bonjour, ho ma, and yo!yo!yo! i hope this finds you all healthy and of the highest conciousnesses. i miss you! my apologies for the looong space between notes from me. I have been so busy all summer with travel and work and HOLYFUCKINSHIT GETTING MARRIED TO THE MOST AWESOME RAD SICK-AS-FUCK HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!! yup. scouts honor. no lie. I gave my heart and soul and solemn word to another. like a lioness (grrrrr) i took a mate. He rules so hard. i know i have not talked about it, because i am essentially private about this sort of thing (i am constantly wishing to protect the innocent). plus it took me a very long time, and many years, to trust one person this much (with my open heart and the hearts of the babydogs). but he was pure and sunshine and tough and kind and hot and smart and he broke through. he asked my manager for my hand in marriage a few months ago (after i started dating him last year after the Bodog Fight pay-per-view and my autumn tour to Europe and my trip to Russia.) So...........we planned to get married. i wanted to make my commitment in front of our parents (whom we honor at all costs) and our dearest friends. I wanted everyone to feel the purelove energy and eat sacred food and be intoxicated with happiness. word! We got married on Saturday. Im so fucking stoked- i HAD to share with you!!!!!! I grabbed some photos and they are here for you in a new photo album in my photos section We have also been making home videos (dont get the wrong idea you dirtybirds!!!!!!) and we will put them up, too, They are webisodes that willstart October 8th (i heard) and will air on www.bodoglife.net/tv. Or, you can check here on myspace for the details and updates This is a bunch of footage leading up to the wedding. Its pretty funny because me and Walker (my new huzbind) are soooo opposite! (me, practically Krsna, vegan, speedmetal freak, punk, MMA, tour, etc) whereas walker is a bodybuilder(meat), Urban/hip-hop fan (never heard of GBH never mind- he has NEVER EVEN SEEN MY SHOW EVER EVER), drives sportscars, sports writer, wakeboarder, surfer, etc.etc. He is covering the WHL hockey (Giants0 and when he first started dating me, they all called him 'K-FED". fuckin' jocks! I didnt let him in my house for three months after we started datng. Let the babydogs sniff him out. It was the Right path. And now we are so solid. We fight and love the same. We are blessed and it fucking rules so hard. yeah, im totally finally fully in holyfucklove. Full-on. Hard-core. Fuck yeah! so, I share the love with you and want you to feel happy and bang your heads with me in joy. somebody is meant for everyone. Even me and the babydogs. thanks be to The Universe. *gush* yeah.....im still high from the love, yo. HAHAHAHA!!!!! My band is totally gonna haze his jock ass. remind me to give him some jiu jitsu pointers............ be well and stay healthy and be creative and drink water with gratitude and be kind and have fun everyday in case it fades and above all else: Fight the good fight. Om hare om. Om Sai Love. Hare Krsna. hare Rama. Live for the metal. Peace, Love, Papayas. xoxoxoxox biffy
Namaste! Salaam! Yo! Yo! Yo! Peace to you all and howdy! August finds it scorching hot in the rainforest. My cane palms on my balcony are getting brown, burned leaves no matter how much I spray them with water. I pulled them inside and now have spider roomates. They are not the famous wolfspiders, so they are allowed to hang. Like my late fishies, I have leftpieces of fruit for them at bedtime. Prasadam (food offered to Krsna). Last week, a film crew descended on the pad, and captured a glimpse of my existence. It was a sunny day, so the view of the ocean was unblemished and lent itself to the lighting in the appartment. In an effort to clean and organize prior to their arrival, I organized the surfboards that are against the walls and discovered one had to be placed on its side on the deck (its too long to stand up in the appartment). It looks funny. Nicklas (who was recovering from surgery: at 10.5 years old, his soft teeth are breaking off, so he had two pulled and now enjoys seaweed-packed tooth sockets covered in stitches! He also had a benign tumor cut off his armpit.) Was indifferent to their presence and Annastasia was in her glory- receiving the constant attention from men (whom they are not accustomed to, so she works it!) The babydogs hammed it up for the camera, to say the least. We even filmed in the courtyard (where pets are not generally allowed) though I'm sure I will be hearing from the building strata bosses! It was a fun day and the MTV people were very nice to us. I don't know when the episode will air, but I will keep you posted. Other than that (and the Vancouver annual fireworks competitions- the Symphony of Fire- which sees 200000 people walking to and from the waterfront past my building, trapping us inside) its been quiet and serene. My training is less than usual, due to a nasty hamstring pull (treadmill sprinting didn't help, that's for sure). I was also running backwards on the treadmill (interval training) and, of course, fell like a fucking idiot!!!! Hahaha! I'm lucky I didn't break my face! Did I tell you about this hemp tahini I found (yes, I know, this is boring information). It is not a "raw food" but holy fuck! Its so good on a banana. I avoid buying it as it is (no lie) THREE TIMES MORE EXPENSIVE than regular tahini. Like papayas, it threatens to put me in the proverbial poor house! Yikes! Bhagavan Das is coming to Vancouver in five days and I can hardly wait! Like Lamb of God, or Mastodon, I lose sleep in anticipation of seeing the performance. I am so stoked! There is a strike by Vancouver city workers and I have not had a parking ticket in a week. Yay! Summer rules!!!!!!! That's the report. I hope you all are enjoying good health and positivity. Peace and love and blessings, as ever, to you. Three weeks till Bodog Fight!!!!!!!!!!! Om nama shivaya. Om hare om. Xo Biffy Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Namaste and Salaam and Bonjour, Beautiful People. I am back in Vancouver from my London trip, and I must say, Jolly Old England is always somewhat enlightening for me! I am always happy to enjoy an abundance of fresh juice and see their public transit systems. They charge a fee for people to drive their cars in certain areas. Wow. People mostly complain about it (as I'm sure they would in most cities as they already complain about petrol prices' rising. Hell- they would probably even complain in MY city) The Live Earth concert was going on, leaving behind a big fat carbon footprint of its own, not to mention aaaaalllllll the fuckin' garbage and wasted food those music fans left behind. The Wu Tang show was much more civilized! It was RZA's birthday and it was a very, very fun night!!!!! we got a ride there in a big limo with everyone. I guess you could call it "carpooling" huh? Hahahhaha! Saves fuel. Right? Which reminds me......why the fuck can't those wealthy California "celebrity" girls (you KNOW whom I refer to) with all the D.U.I. Charges take a Goddamned limousine???? You feel me? Gimme a break! What's WRONG with those girls??? Why do they insist on driving their own stupid cars? They are soooo dumb. If I had all their money I would have a car and driver 24-7 for me and the babydogs. It would have a bike rack for my GT and a big trunk for all my martial arts kick pads and for my in-lines (Missions- they were nice enough to give me a pair about four years ago and I still use em).
I was thinkin' a lot about an S.N.F.U. Song, this past week, where "all the cows are going mad" and I had to, as I do every year, scratch my eyes out and go be by myself for a long time after accidentally seeing the Spanish "running of the bulls" on CNN. Like zoos and circus and rodeos, shit like that really affects my psyche and it makes me extremely upset. Soooo....the dudes running in the streets with those aggitated, scared animals get gorged. Duh. Its called "Karma", non? Like "mad-cow disease" (back to my Chi Pig lyric references from the S.N.F.U. Album, FYULABA and the song called, "Don't Have the Cow") oh, yeah- I was priveledged enough to sing back-up vocals for them, too. Even got to perform at The Polish Hall in Edmonton with em. Great fuckin' memories! Om hare om. Nuff said. For the moment. :) welll....there is always that "baconator" commercial I could kvetch about. Hahahahhha!
Bodog Fight as usual, was sheer pandemonium! Unbelieveable levels of athleticism and such evident sacrifice and self-discipline. I sometimes don't think people realize what is required mentally, emotionally, and physically by these incredible athletes. Honestly, it is mind-blowing. Having witnessed and been lucky enough to get in on some of the intense training sessions these individuals undertake everysingleday, 365 days a year, I am constantly inspired by these superhumans. And, in New Jersey, it was an incredible display of superdupersuperness! A lot of my peeps were fighting: Yves, Chael, Jorge, Nick and Trevor. Its so cool to know them! Tara (LaRosa), whom I'm honored to call my friend, made me sooo proud!!! Yay! For all women in the sport!!! And, of course, there's Alvarez. He was in top form and won in a long battle with Lee. Wow. What a fantasic evening!!!! :) I can't wait to resume my own training down at Universal. (Although my armbars will never be as perfect as Miss Tara's!)
As far as my other pals go, I gotta hand it to Jason and Neurosonic: undying hard fuckin rock-n-roll work ethic (more inspiration). I mean- I haven't seen those guys allllll summer because (like I was all last year) they have not stopped touring!!!!! Fuck yeah! They start the Family Values tour this week! Make sure you go see them!!!! And buy a shirt, for God's sake! That's how bands eat-dont forget! And, also, Vincent Black Shadow was home (in Vancouver) for, like, one day, or something!!! I haven't seen them since our European tour! Sheesh! Of course, like last year, they are on Warped all summer. Again: go and buy a shirt and feed a band!!!!!!! :)
Nazanin has been so busy travelling all over the world. She came home and brushed her teeth, changed her suitcase, and off she went to London again! I swear- our airplanes crossed paths in the sky!!! I wish I looked half as good as her!! Hahaha! Her schedule would make mincemeat out of me!!! Plus she is always so gracious and wonderful- no matter how exhausted! She is a big inspiration! :)
For my new record.......... My writing is still in its "isolated, dark little place". Hahahhha! So, I switch mediums back and forth. My paintings are a better place for morbidity. I have been asked by a number of you dear, dear people about my art and why I don't "put pictures of my paintings" up, or even my photography-based art. Truth be told- I would prefer to kick the bucket first. Its a thing I have. Besides, I don't feel I'm mature enough, as a visual artist. Like music, I'm hoping to always find evolution and growth. I'm pretty selective about the stuff I donate, too. Its been few and far between. But my opinions and good (and bad) advice is free of charge! Hahahaha! For example, because I so love you, I want you to have your serving of kale!!!! (A single serving supplies twice the reccommended allowances of both vitamin A and vitamin C, as well as 135mg of calcium, etc.etc. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!! :) I am back to my bad-girl papaya habit (which reminds me: there were a couple girls messaging me on this myspace, whining about the fact that I'm "boring" and "who cares that you eat papayas" and on and on......so....to you poor whining girls who-though I don't even know why you bother to read this if you are not down-go eat what you eat and live your happy little life that is obviously so rad and stay away from the rest of us boring people. Poison beeeeeeches! Hahahha!) Anyhooo, like I was sayin', the papayas are STILL running me around 5.98 Canadian bucks per pound. Yes, one can likely buy radioactive bullshit papayas for cheaper........but its instead of booze, I figure (cause it seems to me folks spend a lot of money on alcohol). Besides, if I do drive around in my car, all I got in my wee system is papayas, Baby. I'd make a lousy, California-celebrity. Thank fuckin' goodness I'm up here in The Rainforest. Om nama shivaya. Om Sai Ram. Om Sai Love. Peace to everyone and enjoy these days as they will be "good" and "old" very soon, anyway. Stay out of trouble and try very hard to help the poor and the sick and the old. Just try even if you don't think you're doing anything- you may be helping just by extending your kindness. Life is hard for most people. Really, really hard. So be nice because your problems (and mine) are trivial. Thank you, as ever, for reading my (rather) long-winded essays. I appreciate you. :) I am grateful for you. :) Now, go outside and play! Om hare hare om. Om shanti shanti om. Azadi! Azadi! Azadi for people everywhere! Xoxoxoxoxo Biffy. Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
ecstatic
optimistic