Media Manipulation – Wake Up and Smell the Transmissions (or Something)
Current mood: cynical
Category: News and Politics

Anybody happen to catch that celebrity-laden music video for Sen. Barack Obama (A Selection of the Oprah Candidate Club)?

I watched it a couple of times myself. I'm sure you have, too. A vast menagerie of ex-athletes, rock stars, actors and other various and sundry celebrities of whose specialties I am unsure, all speaking, singing or playing along to an inspirational Obama speech set to music.

Can we say cloying?

Can we say manipulative?

Yes we can!

But oddly inspiring nonetheless.

I don't blame Obama or his campaign staff for this little ditty. I don't blame his supporters and I don't even blame the celebrities. This is the kind of stuff that sells these days. It's not just politics anymore, it's product.

And it's not like it's anything new. Madison Avenue has been doing this stuff for years, and it was only a matter of time before the rest of the media caught up with it.

It used to be the purpose of television news – much like its counterparts in newspapers and magazines – was to inform. Then they decided that it wasn't enough. They needed to make people think. Which was soon followed by telling you how to think…

Now they want to make you feel.

Ah, you say (hopefully after first giving your mouth a refreshing spritz of Benaca). But nobody can tell me how to feel. Everything affects people in different ways. Feelings are personal, based on emotions. Nobody can dictate that.

Wrong again!

Take CNN…please. Remember the Sago, West Virginia, mine disaster back in 2006? With the endless shots of the worried families waiting for news of their loved ones trapped in the mines? How could anyone's heart not go out to the people affected by this terrible tragedy? Millions watched, hoped and prayed with families of Sago.

But was that enough for CNN? Nooooooooo. Not only did they keep pouring on the
shots of the grieving widows and children, they added a soundtrack!

That's right! You weren't sad enough America! You weren't feeling enough! So we are just going to show you all the footage again, but this time we've added appropriate mournful music so that you can truly grasp the sadness and devastation of this tragedy!

If I didn't know Michael Landon was dead - he is, isn't he? Just checking - I would have sworn he'd been named managing editor at CNN. I can remember episodes of Highway to Heaven or Touched by an Angel that didn't attempt such smarmy tactics. And this was a news network!

I'm wondering if Fox News tried something similar during the last national election when the Republicans lost control of both houses. I wouldn't put it past them, though I doubt it would have the same effect. It's a timing thing.

So no, I don't blame Obama, any more than I blame other politicians of both major parties who try to cater to and manipulate the emotions of the electorate. It's tried and true. It works. But only if you let it.

 
Anyway, that's how I feel. You should feel that way, too. Perhaps if I played some appropriate music…

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It Came Back to MySpace…Run for Your Lives!
Current mood: bored
Category: Blogging

I'm back! Did you miss me?

I thought not.

I am under no delusions that my blogs have mass readership. I would venture to guess that nobody reads these things except my wife and mother, except that my wife is often "too busy" and Mom doesn't have a computer.

The latter is just as well. If she read any of this stuff she would probably cut me out of the will and I had my heart set on those canning jars. But that is another story…

Anyway, since my access to MySpace had been cut off for a considerable length of time, I was forced to take my blogging elsewhere. Rather than re-post all the diatribes that smoked from my witty keyboard (sure Bill, blame the keyboard) during the interim, I will just point you to where they are so you can go read them at your leisure:

http://billkleinonline.blogspot.com

I'm sure there are thousands scurrying over their now, so don't delay! Act now!

Please?

2:03 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Greetings From Paso Freakin’ Robles
Current mood: indifferent
Category: Travel and Places

Greetings from Paso Robles, California, quite possibly one of the most insignificant American cities this side of Lyndon Station, Wisconsin. My wife, Pamela, and I are here for an Al Khamsa convention.

No, we did not switch sides and join up with a terrorist cell; Al Khamsa is an organization for enthusiasts of horses of Middle Eastern origin. As owners/breeders of Davenport Arabian horses, we are part of the group and Pamela is on the Board of Directors. I will have no such part, as I hate meetings and have enough of them when I am at work. Besides, they didn't ask.

We flew into San Francisco on Wednesday, met up with Laura Beeman, a social worker from Connecticut and fellow Davenport enthusiast, rented a car, then drove South on I-280 into redwood country, up a couple of narrow winding roads to the residence of Chris Cooper, yet another fellow Davenport owner, who took the three of us to dinner and put us up for the night.

The next morning, Laura, Pamela and I piled into our rented Saturn and headed down the Pacific Coast Highway. As neither Pamela nor I have ever been in California proper before (I've had layovers at LAX and spent a day and a half at Travis AFB outprocessing from my Air Force stint), we took time to stop and check out the ocean activity. Lots of humongous waves crashing in the surf, washed up kelp large enough to use for a clothesline, flocks of pelicans gathered on the rocks, and even a lighthouse.

We made it as far as Santa Cruz, where we stopped at a Mexican joint for lunch, then crossed the street to check out a pottery shop. The real deal, stuff made right on the premises. The man who crafted the coffee mugs we eventually purchased then notified us that if we stayed on the PC Highway, there was no way in hell that we were going to get to Paso Robles in time for Pamela and Laura to make their BoD meeting. He directed us to head towards San Jose on Route 17, then catch US 101 South.

This took us a lot farther north than we would have preferred, almost wiping out the fifty miles of progress we had made driving down from San Fran. I was just about convinced that our ceramic-dusted would-be travel guide had been partaking of the kind of pot one doesn't sculpt from clay – if you get my meaning – and had gotten us hopelessly turned around when finally we came upon US 101.

As it happened, we only ended up being about twenty minutes or so late, which became moot as the BoD didn't even have a quorum yet as they were still waiting for other members to show...which didn't surprise me in the least. When do these things ever start on time?

Anyway, we are staying at a Holiday Inn Express, not the best hotel I have ever stayed in, but clean and comfortable enough, unlike Hunter's Inn in Guam, where I tried to save my company a few bucks some weeks back and discovered to my chagrin that you get what you pay for...if you're lucky, which I wasn't, but that's all I have to say about that.

So, we will be here until Sunday, then head back to SF to catch an evening flight back to Raleigh-Durham and our car for the 3-hour drive back to Appomattox. I'm already looking forward to home.

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Stuck In The Middle With You...In Coach
Current mood: cranky
Category: Travel and Places

Don't get me wrong, I love traveling and I love airports. It's the planes themselves I have problems with.

It's not so much that I fear flying or consider it unnatural to stuff a couple of hundred people into a tube and shoot it across the country, it's more that I find planes stuffy and confining, a bus that you can't get off and step out for a breath of fresh air...well, I suppose you could, technically, but the results would more than likely be fatal.

I have never had the pleasure of flying First Class or even Business. My company is much too cheap to do that, and that cheapness extends to my salary, which makes purchasing so-called "preferred" class tickets out of the question. So I fly coach, the Third World of air travel, where you kind of feel like one of those kids from the "Feed the Children" adds, except without the sympathy.

First Class passengers are waited on hand and foot by two smiling female flight attendants who look like supermodels and cater to the fortunate fliers' every whim.

Meanwhile, we unfortunate souls in coach are attended to by harried slaves who wear expressions that practically shout out loud that they'd rather be anywhere but where they are at that moment and don't even hang around to bid you farewell when you deplane, mainly because by the time we land they tend to look like they have been through a double-shift at Sam 'N Ella's Truck Stop on Route 10 on a Friday before a three-day weekend.

Folks in First Class are generally seated first, and depending on the layout of the plane, coach passengers are often paraded past them. The rule of thumb is that the First Class passengers never make eye contact, as if casting a glance on the unwashed masses will strike them blind with some sort of flesh-eating coach pox or something.

To make matters worse, Pamela and I were booked into middle seats in separate rows. This may have had to do with the fact that she uses her maiden name as well as her married name (Pamela Matlack Klein), and her ticket came out as MATLACKKLEIN as opposed to KLEIN, like mine was...

Wonder if Hillary Rodham Clinton has ever had that problem? For some reason I find it hard to picture her in a middle seat in coach sandwiched between two ejected contestants from The Biggest Loser. It's fun to think about, though.

11:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

From the Archives: In Touch With Reality
Current mood: nostalgic

--> -->Author's Note: Here is a piece I wrote several years back that was originally posted at www.TheApeSheet.com. I'm still waiting to hear back from the networks - BK

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Escape From Reality...Television, That Is
Current mood: nauseated

Just saw the Nielsen ratings for this past week. I can't believe that they are still considered relevant, what with the rise of digital video recorders (DVRs) and satellite and cable systems with something like 23, 674 channels (and nothing on).

What I found even harder to believe was that 3 of the Top Ten shows for the week were installments of Dancing With The Stars.

Pardon me if I puke? Not here? Oops! Sorry! Hope that's Stainmaster.

Ol' P.T. Barnum always said that no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. He was so right. I cringe at the thought of the season premiere of American Idol. I become physically nauseous to think of the next gang of grub-eating bush-yuppies let loose on Survivor.

Not to mention the newest horde of hippos lining up outside the studios to become The Biggest Loser. Which network has that show anyway? Seems that would be a good place to put a Krispy Kremes franchise. Heck, that one day would take care of your whole year.

But those shows were all syndicated, produced on the cheap for quick sale and maximum profit.

Syndicators can be forgiven for their desperation. These were the guys who milked an extra fifteen years or so of Hee-Haw after CBS has seemingly killed the beast. These folks would put anything on the air.

It was only a matter of time before the networks, hemorrhaging money due to decreased audiences and advertising revenue, followed suit. That's why you no longer have Hill Street Blues or LA Laws, but you have Deal or No Deal and 1vs100. No more St Elsewheres or NYPD Blues, but you have Big Brother and The Bachelor. And who needs Cosby or Roots when you've got The Flavor of Love?

Do yourselves a favor. In the immortal words of the mortal John Prine, "Blow up your TV."

Read a book. And I'm not talking about that Simon Cowell autobiography either, ya freakin' illiterates.

12:55 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Tale of The Missing Blog Post
Current mood: confused
Category: MySpace

Let's call this one "The Tale of The Missing Blog Post." Not very imaginative to be sure, but apt.

I have been back on the small Virginia horse farm I share with my better Dragon, Pamela, since Sept 18, which I think was Monday, or perhaps Tuesday? Yeah, Tuesday. Come to think of it, what the hell day is it today? When you been back and forth across the International Dateline, you may become – as they say in the Far East, or at least leaving it – disoriented. I flew out of Guam on 18^th, landed in Honolulu on the 17h, then – after extending greetings from the future to the confused Wahines and assuring them that all was well – traveled on to Houston and my final airline destination of Washington, DC, on the 18^th again.

So, while sitting through a 4-plus hour layover in Houston, I posted a blog entitled 'Adventures in Travel – Redux" or something like that. I can't say for sure. Because during the time I posted it and came back home to Virginia to check on the stats, it had disappeared. Nowhere to be found. As if it never existed.

So let this be a lesson to all of you:Do not trust your brilliant thoughts and insights to the technology at hand. Save your work, even if – like mine – it was probably better off just to let it die.

The ether is endless, and it is the best shot at immortality for the mediocre, even better than "American Idol" or Jerry Springer. Let's tread carefully out there.

Currently reading : Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7) By J. K. Rowling Release date: 21 July, 2007

11:06 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Note to the Republicans: Secure THIS!
Current mood: infuriated
Category: News and Politics

Tried to watch some of the Republican Presidential Debate this morning (I'm still in Saipan, remember), but it was an ordeal. Other than the always entertaining Ron Paul and the integrity of John McCain, I wouldn't cast a vote for any of those other bozos for dogcatcher.

The likes of Rudy Guiliani, Mitt Romney, Sam Brownback and Tom Tancredo manage to piss me off so much with their Bush-like fear-mongering it was all I could do to keep from picking up my television and shaking it, trying to knock some sense into their fool heads.

How long are they going to spout this security-over-liberty bullshit? It doesn't work! It's not what people want! All that happens when governments emphasize security over liberty is that people are no longer afraid of outside sources...they're too damned busy being scared of their own government!

I'm sure the people of Communist Russia didn't have time to fear outsiders, not with their own leader, Joseph Stalin, slaughtering Russian citizens by the millions out of sheer paranoia. I'm sure the subjects of Idi Amin didn't worry about invaders, they were too busy trying to avoid being on Dada's dinner menu.

You're never going to completely eliminate terrorism. There will always be some looney, or group of looneys, who will get their hands on automatic weapons or homemade bombs and stir up some serious jihad shit. But the way to battle that problem is not hiding behind closed doors and snitching on our neighbors who may be partaking in a little pot or gay sex. Pull the shades if you don't want to see.

Franklin Roosevelt said that the only thing we had to fear was fear itself. What he meant was what unreasonable fear does to people: paranoia, mob mentality, letting ourselves be stressed out by events beyond our control and committing acts no straight-thinking person would attempt on their own.

The sort of mass hysteria being pushed by the majority of the Republican candidates would be laughable if it weren't so contemptible.

Remember, Patrick Henry didn't say "Give me security or give me death." The rest of us shouldn't be saying it either.

Here's one vote for liberty.

11:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

A Raw Deal for Larry Craig, Like Him or Not
Category: News and Politics

OK, now time to chime in on the Larry Craig Airport Sex Scandal.

Sorry, fellow liberal/progressives. I think he got a raw deal. Not that he didn't deserve it, but it is a raw deal nonetheless.

What I'd like to know is, with all the so-called terrorist threats surrounding our airports, why is our tax money being used to investigate something as innocuous as sex in airport restrooms?

Oh sure, if it was kids being molested, I can see that. Nothing is bad if it protects the children, yadda, yadda, yadda. Pardon me if I keep a hand on my wallet when politicians spring that line...

So Larry Craig allegedly tried to solicit sex from an undercover police officer with obviously nothing better to do, and pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. So what's the big deal? Who was he actually hurting? His constituents? No. His wife? Please. You know she had to know that something was up when every time he had to go to the bathroom he went to Minneapolis.

Craig, a Republican, was known to be a staunch opponent of gay rights. He repeatedly denied he was gay. So, allegedly, that makes him a liar and a hypocrite.

Imagine! A politician who is both a liar and a hypocrite!

What an unusual story.

Democrats jumped on this issue to get rid of a high-ranking member of the opposition. The GOP called for his resignation because the incident makes them look bad. As if they needed Craig's help.

I'm sorry, but my sympathies are with Larry Craig. I don't know the man, don't live in Idaho and, judging from his politics, I would never vote for him. But I don't think that this particular lapse in judgment should cost a man his career.

If Idahoans want him gone, they should have been given the opportunity to initiate a recall. He's their senator, let them decide his fate. They are the ones who elected him in the first place.

It's called common sense. Anybody remember what that is?

10:49 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

A Short Tribute to The Other Michael Jackson
Category: Food and Restaurants

It was with a great degree of sadness that I read about the death of Michael Jackson...or, as he would put it, not that Michael Jackson. Not he of the missing glove, the reverse tan and a proclivity for prepubescent males.

The Michael Jackson I speak of was probably best-known as "The Beer Hunter." His "World Guide to Beer" is a must-read for any well-traveled imbiber of malted beverages, of which I am certainly one. His travels and reports have introduced me to fine beers from all over the world, including Europe, Asia and Australia. I haven't been to Africa or South America yet, but I'm sure he has a few recommendations there as well.

He brought a new perspective to beer, an industry long fallen into decline by the mass-produced slop foisted on the public by the likes of Anheuser-Busch, Coors, Miller and others of their ilk. He helped revive the art of boutique-brewing (or micro-brewing as it is more well known) and helped spawn a whole new generation of home brewers.

For his sake, I hope that the old polka prophecy of "In Heaven There Is No Beer" is a fallacy. After all, if there is no beer there, how could they call it heaven?

Cheers, Michael.

Currently reading : The Bonfire of the Vanities By Tom Wolfe Release date: 30 October, 2001

10:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment