8:15 PM - The Rod Stewart mixtape.
Current mood: blah

I like Rod Stewart. I like his songs about leaving lovers ("Maggie May" and "Stay With Me"). I like Paul Simon's songs about leaving lovers ("50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"). Maybe it could be said htat I like leaving lovers. It's in the leaving that I feel vindicated.

Sometimes I look at Craigslist and I get tempted to reply.

But then I remember what my friend Greg H. told me: everybody lies.

Moral of the story, I can't take a fucking compliment to save my ever-loving life.

I think I fell into a time machine. At the start of the season (which is to say the start of college summer that starts in late april/early may), I dubbed this the "summer of nostalgia". I was dead on. I will not list the evidence. Or rather, I will not list the evidence sober and on the internets.

I can't decide if this week is going too fast or too slow for my liking.

I also can't decide if I want what I want because I really want it or if I want what I want because I can't have it or if I want what I want because I need something to want.

Feel free to replace what with who in that mini rant.

It's really sad that in order to succeed, I have to try to fail. And not fake try, but really try.

That, is what we in the industry call talent!

I know I am not the one.

Can we do a brief personal pronoun count? My "I" use feels excessive.

If all else fails, you can blame it on me.

xoxo
>K<

Currently listening : Leaving Through the Window By Something Corporate Release date: 2002-05-21

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6:32 PM - you can call me Al
Current mood: bored

So I have a bit more free time on my hands.

Call me Al.

I think it's start posting poems from my summer poem project.

Don't let the title fool you, its not that cool.

here is the first one in the series:

April, Come She Will

She stares at me
through a haze
of menthol smoke
and sunglasses.

She's quoting a Sage
something about Gandhi
or traffic violations
with her it's hard to tell

Talking a little louder than usual
so that the world that's
going on without her

Still pays attention.

Also, I am reminded of something that I promptly forgot before I could type it.

Oh, Jojo...

xoxo
>K<

Currently listening : Left of the Middle By Natalie Imbruglia Release date: 1998-03-10

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8:16 PM - Yo. Cut it.
Current mood: naughty

So...

I fell off the wagon.

But not in that stupid I have a crush way. More like in that stupid I had a tongue or two in my mouth way. Whoops.

But its unlikely it will happen again. I was in Parma (right outside of Jackson) and it was with locals.

How I got into the whole situation in the first place is a tale for another day.

But on the one hand I am kinda disappointed I lost.

On the other hand....

I lost :)

xoxo
>K<

Currently watching : That '70s Show - Season 5 Release date: 2006-10-17

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1:42 PM - Diamonds are Forever
Current mood: sweaty

Part of me wants to get  a tattoo today.

Part of me wants to wait until my arbitrary raise kicks in.

This has been the week of mindfuckery. Nothing I  can't handle, but when you are fairly certain you are clinically brain damaged, it make everything a little more intense. My spelling skills have plummeted and my vision isn't much better.

Went to Roadhouse last night and finally got some of their Crazy Sangria. Roadhouse's words, not mine. Why was it served on ice? And why oh why WAS IT SERVED WITH A STRAW???

I thought I was thrown off track with the recent development of a so-called crush, but then I instated a new little twist: Jill and I have a moneyless wager going about who can get the least amount of action this summer. The winner (loser?) gets bragging rights. Bragging rights are badass. Those will keep me on the straight and narrow for sure. My rationale, I tried to succeed (success being a date/kiss/something) and failed, why not try to fail and succeed? Redheaded attractiveness on stilts be damned!

Sorry about the rant, I told you my brain was broken.

Saw Wall-E last night. Who knew robots could be so moving? I almost cried several times and not just because I am a little girl. It was a highly moving and entertaining piece of enviromentalist propaganda. Go see it on a date and cry on your date's shoulder.

xoxo
>K<

Currently listening : Rent (1996 Original Broadway Cast) By Jeff Potter Release date: 1996-08-27

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9:16 PM - Agh! What sort of man was Fragonard?
Current mood: working

I had a post all set to go this morning but then myspace ate it.

Suck it, Trebek!

Alex Trebek is a metaphor for myspace blogging.

But I like the little things that tell the reader what the writer is reading, watching or listening to.

Yesterday I had the stomachache from hell. I think its a sign I sould never top smoking.

I hate lit classes. Even if the class is not paper intensive, the last week always is.

Elvis Costello = :)

Things consumed:

5-10 cherries
2 granola bars
water
2 sticks of gum
1 clove

papers can also suck it.

Fucking William Carlos Wiliiams.

At least its not on "Red Wheelbarrow". I fucking hate that poem.

I don't want to.

I'm sarting a nunnery.

Our Lady of Anaphora.

Also excited for this weekend movies wise. What can I say? I'm a sucker for movies about assassins

xoxo
>K<

Currently listening : Spring Awakening (2006 Original Broadway Cast) By Duncan Sheik Release date: 2006-12-12

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12:49 PM - dig
Current mood: bummed

Yesterday I got some pretty shitty news and I knew I couldn't keep to myself. It was that kind of shitty. So I went over to Randy's for hugs and videogames and terrible cinema. When I told him what happened I couldn't help but cry. And then when I talked to my mom I cried. Yesterday was a day of crying and distractions.

Crying is for chumps and I can't promise that today will be any better. It's not hard to ignore people at work.

It was so weird, though. Saturday I was in a realm of pissed off I had not been in in quite some time. It seemingly came out of nowhere and only started to subside one clove cigarette, one beer, one whiskey sour and a 40 later.

It happened that night.

So now its more booze and cloves later. And the hugs I've gotten as a comfort just make me sadder. Like when I left Chicago and I was just a wreck and everybody kept hugging me and that sent me into a dizzying hell of hyperventilation. I'm fine until I say it out loud.

And then I start thinking what if?

But the new DCFC helps.

xoxo
>K<

Currently listening : Narrow Stairs By Death Cab for Cutie Release date: 2008-05-13

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7:43 AM - You’re a selfish narcissistic psycho creep and boot licking nazi pimp and you can’t handle me
Current mood: bored

So Robyn has been stuck in my head the duration of this weekend. I am okay with that.

On a scale of one to ten, this weeked rated about a  lame with cool highlights.

Went to the farmer's market for the first time ever and that was pretty fucking dope. Also bought an eighty dollar dress for $16. Other awesome purchases: Nebula Awards 32 (for those who don't know, the nebula awards are supposed to recognize kickass sci-fi books/stories/poems) and Man O War by WILLIAM FUCKING SHATNER for a grand total of twenty cents.

It has been hot as balls. This has been a play to my advantage, mostly because when I am too sweaty to function, that means I can't think about boys. Good thing I quit them, right?

It's tornado season. One touched down about five miles from me on friday. Yestserday, we had an intensely bad t-storm and it killed my power. I am still waiting for power to be restored, so I am .7 miles away at Fourth Coast, consuming iced tea and basking in the AC. I had no hot water, of course but that was okay because I live on the top floor of my building and it was 80 degrees out at 8 a.m.

I would like to see Kung-Fu Panda today. However, this has been the ultimate weekend for blowing me off. I have been blown off three times in the span of two days. One of the offendees made up for it and the other I didn't really care about, but it was just something ot add to my list of grievances.

I drop gems like I got holes in my pockets.

I refuse to miss you. Take that how you want.

In addition to smoking, I have also more or less quit eating. trust me dear, I'm better off this way.

xoxo
>K<

Currently listening : Robyn By Robyn Release date: 2008-04-29

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11:32 AM - its the bitch of living as someone you can’t stand
Current mood: pirate

I realize that it's been awhile.

Life has been a disappointment and yet I am not disappointed by this. It seems...expected.

I'm quitting boys for what feels like the 19th time this year. Don't hold your breath for any girl on girl from me though. The only tacos I'm eating are coming from the drive thru.

With great hair comes great responsibility.

So many social events this coming weekend.

I am also working on desiging a sidepiece tattoo. It will most likely be just text, maybe some abstract flourishes. But still! Sidepiece!

I want smokes. But I'm just getting to the point where I can sing and not sound like crap.

I want coffee, it enables my diet.

I'm on a diet, I don't have an eating disorder. That leaves me available to crack all the anorexia/buelemia jokes I want. If it spirals into an eating disorder, I still win.

I've got a complex.

Cock it and pull it.

and so begins my summer of nostalgic cellibacy

xoxo
>K<

Currently watching : SLC Punk Release date: 1999-10-19

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5:06 PM - songs about eating disorders and post-adolescence
Current mood: smitten

"I'm in a glass case of emotion!" mix:

"Digital Love" - Daft Punk
"Satisfaction" - Benny Bennassi
"Handle Me" - Robyn
"Hazy Shade of Winter" - Simon and Garfunkel
"When You Were Young" - The Killers
"Heard 'Em Say" - Kanye West
"Stay" - Lisa Loeb
"Love is the Drug" - Kylie Minogue
"Modern Love" - David Bowie
"This Charming Man" - The Smiths
"Sympathy For The Devil" - Rolling Stones
"Angie" - Cobra Starship
"Must Be The Moon" - !!!
"Hello Nurse" - Treaty of Paris
"The Things The Hate Us" - Atmosphere
"I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You" - Kate Nash
"Let It Ride" - Ryan Adams
"San Dimas High School Football Rules" - The Ataris
"Head over Heels" - Tears for Fears

Yeah, I'm there again. Staring. Setting the bar that much lower.

but then this was my love horoscope for today:

Say goodbye to your inner prude this weekend. You're ready to be rowdy and proud of it. Showing your passion grabs attention, which is what you want now. Don't expect to be noticed if you don't take risks. Relax and let yourself be as playful as possible and romantic fun is very likely to follow.

whatever I'm over it.

I can ride my bike with no handlebars.

shoulda known.

Currently listening : When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold By Atmosphere Release date: 2008-04-22

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4:02 PM - Reviews of things I deem worthy of review
Current mood: frisky

Also like Hey Mercedes, I am losing control. Not really. But sometimes it feels like it.

Maybe I'll start a Hey Mercedes cover band. We will call ourselves Mazda. Or perhaps Lexus. Cadillac? Buick?

I'll stop.

Saw Iron Man with Randy last night. It definitely lived up to the hype. It did not exceed the hype, but my hat is off and flying across the room to Jon Favreau. There was some slightly cheesy camerawork, but that was about it. It was well written, and not to mention Robert Downey jr. as Tony Stark awakened these primal urges in me.

In other words I have never been so horny at a movie in my entire life.

I recommend it.

And I won't spoil the extra post-credits footage, but you will be shitting your pants in glee. Side note: Gweneth Paltrow!?!? She is the sexual tension love kinda interest of Mr. Stark. WTF? Not my first choice. She did a good job, but not what I had in mind at alllll.

In the room the women come and go, talking of Michaelangelo.

Side note 2: Terrence Howard played the best friend (fuck all if I can remember his name now), and there were some creepy brokeback undertones. I wish I was in the test audience for one of the early screenings, I would have said something about how fuzzy their relationship dynamics were. You don't really understand why their relationship is the way it is. Just saying.

Also, the previews were badass.

Indiana Jones unfortunately looks lame and campy. A+ if that's what the studio was going for, but if they were trying to make a serious movie, that was a FAIL.

Batman looks badass too, even if I felt a pang of sadness for Heath Ledger. Part of me is scared to see it, seeing as the first one was so shittily written, and from what the previews seem to show, Heath = harder, faster, stronger Jack Nicholson. Oi. yeah. I said it.

The Spirit, aka the new Sin City movie with an eta of 2009 is breathtaking. Even if you don't like those kinds of movies, it looks so fucking cool that you can't help but want to see it.

I'm noticing a trend: rebirth of the cool.

word.

xoxo
>K<

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