I don't know if any of you know from the bulletins recently, but my laptop died and the only time I get to use a computer is when I go to work, which sucks. But what can I do? What really makes it bad is that this Sunday is the fifth anniversary of Sam-a-Rama. So, I what the Hell. I won't get to a PC on Sunday, let's celebrate it NOW.
I just wrote a post to honor the big day, which I think is cool. It was hard to work on two blogs when you have one to begin with, by the way. that is why I decided to work on that one instead of spreading myself out and I'm much happier for it.
Anyway, if you get a chance, stop on by and leave a greeting or something. It'll be good to see you.
"Friday was Ronnie's wedding to Brenadette on Fripp Island. The ceremony was small with only a handful for family memers there and of course I was the only lump of coal in a snowbank. Actually, there was another Black guy there, but he was with his long time companion, so he gets half a credit. I was actually happy and still stunned that I was in the wedding. So nervous in fact, that as Ronnie, his brother and best man Rick and I came walking out, I bumpedinto the table that held the champagne glasses and one fell over, crashing to the ground and breaking."
"Okay, here's the thing on this. I was never really a fan of "Sex In The City" in its original run. There was nothing there to interest me. All right, Kim Catrall naked almost every episode was okay, but I am a guy. I'm far from Mas Macho, but I am a guy. I do know of many straight guys who watched the show because their girlfriends or wives watched it and they couldn't escape it and were drawn in. I just never felt the groove."
Home, Sweet Home
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Blogging
I know that there's a lot of folks out there who I guess how have I been living there days or what's going on in my head after ther last few posts. Maybe I just decided to just vent or to let it all hang out. Maybe I've had a moment of clarity in all of my insanity. Perhaps I truly do have nothing left to lose except time and space. I've just done my best to keep my head up and smile though all the crap.There's been lots of crap going on lately.You're read it all here on this page instead of Sam-a-rama, where life is nice and peaceful. Funny how that all worked out, eh?
I'm getting ready for the fifth anniversary of Sam-a-rama, which is June 29th. When it began, that was the palce for me to vent, thinking no one would ever gpo there. Somehow, that didn't work out as I found folks that picked up on it and soon I began to see readership grow. Hell, I even got a mention on Slate once. I then quickly moved to more funnier topics of my life and of pop culture and once You Tube hit, that was all she wrote. Then I found out about My Space like many of you and soon I made more connections. There lies the problem.
I'm glad to know many of you all who've made friends with me, as I can use all the pals I can get. I'm also glad that many of my offline friends have showed up to lend support to me here. The thing is that this place has made me an asshole. The bad part is that I kind of like it. To be truthful, a few of the online "friends" have made me force that hand. I've since then gotten rid of them, but it made me think for a bit. My Space was created for social networking and to make friends, so why has it made me so angry?
To make it short, I'm going to try to go back to the old me for a bit. That means focusing a bit over the Summer on Sam-a-rama. I have a few plans ahead for the site and I'd really love for you to stop by and check it out. As for My Space, I won't be deleating my account here, but I won't be doing too many posts here for the next few months. Other than bulletins about karaoke or radio gigs or such, all wrtitings, essays, You Tubery will be there for the forseeable future. Now, for those of you too lazy to move a mouse and click over because I'm not here all the time, well get over it and yourself (that's the new me talking there), because that's how it is and that's how we'll do it.
I better answer some of your questions now on all of this, by the way. No, "Underground Savannah" clips will only be on Sam-a-rama and no where else. No, the blog here will be used to send folks to the home site. No, I'm sorry. The second Darrin on "Bewitched" was played by Dick Sargent. That's Sargent. Circle gets the square.
I hope you all do stop by and check out Sam-a-rama. It is pretty cool. We have a penguin named Carl and everything. Until then, let me leave you some words to live by. They aren't mine and they are not Kurt Vonnegut's, but they were used in a graduating speech back in 1997. I'd say that these words should sum up how we all should live...
"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen."
Author: Mary Schmich (USA) First published: July 1, 1997 Copyright: Herald Tribune
Gone Fission....
Current mood: tired
Category: Blogging
It'sa about four in the morning on a late Friday/early Saturday and I just came back from a karaoke gig. I really don't have much to say, but I do have to say is on my home site. Go there and watch the new Weezer video as well.
Hey, even us good guys need a holiday or two. I'll see you after Monday.Love ya, mean it.
"You can’t live with ’em, you can’t live without ’em...."
Current mood: confused
Category: Life
I'm just gonna say it.
If it was not for the fact that they have soft curves, nice breasts and great asses, I swear I would just leave them alone for good. I couldn't be gay. I actually thought about that for a bit and said "no". I have friendsa who are gay and they don't recruit newbies anyways. Also, I will not ever "take one for the team". EVER. That that there's anything wrong with it and my name ever comes up duriing the act.
I swear to Jeebus this is driving me nuts because they are driving me nuts You think you meet the right one and they never to turn out to be the right one. Today, I had to deal with two women. One was the culpret of the The St Pat's Massacre of 2007. I've never told that story here and really don't want to because it it too long and sad and yet, funny as shit. A few of you off line know it, so everyone ask them about it. Anyway, She wrote me an email about the post I wrote about how to end drama in your life and soon enough, I was in one of those things where the astronaut spinning aroung on a room until their face gets smooshed. aShe then replied that she was sorry that she stressed me. I then sent her a letter back saying that she didn't stress me. I can just throw the letter away. Wat she did was T.M.I Drama or Too Much Informantion. I must not have ben too mad at her still. It has been a year after all and she still had a nice ass.
SEE, DAMMIT! YOU SUCK US INTO YOUR WEB OF HELL! WE LOVE YOU, WE HATE YOU! DAMN!
I also spilled my guts out to another woman last night. Why did I do that? Because as she said, everyone else bullshits hera and I tell the truth. So I told her the truth that I have a crush on her bu then I saw that her relation status changed on her page, going from single to seeing someone. It hurt be a bit, but I thought that she was better off with another guy maybe. After I sent her that, I heard nothing beck from her. Not a word.
The next day, I sent her a message asking her how she was hoping that would have heard something about my email. She said she was fine and things were good for her today, whithout one acknologment about the letter. I then sent another email back that said, "Umm, do you recall that I spilled my guts you to last night after I had a long day? Could you please give me some sort of reaction from it so I know were I stand here? By the way, if I get back an "awww, poor Sam,I am gonna be pissed".
I haven't hear from her since that, sadly.
I know that I must be like the Silver Surfer on this. I go by and see how f'ed up everyone else's love llife is like and I get to sit back and watch. I don't even get to touch them anymore. FIVE FUCKING YEARS HERE, PEOPLE! And no, not even that alone because I am too tired to have a sex drive from this dialysis shite. Still, I put up with women for this long because THEY ARE WOMEN. If you look deep in their eyes, I swear there's a tiny little elf that sits in there with a little crazy crank and that elf cranks that sucker as fast as it can just to see how far it would go.I call the condition "The Crazy Eyes". It's in there. You just have to look with the right light.
So, there you go. It is what it is. You women make me mad as all Hell. You sit there and tell me stories that would put Mark Twain or Tyler Perry to shame. We do out best to listen, but sometimes enough is enough! We've heard enough about the drama at work. Yes, we knew that bitch at work was crazy, but you had to stick around her because she always made the Krispy Creme run in the mornings and you got first dibs. The shit drives us nuckin' futs! But we love ya. You got that "thing" We are your slaves, dammit. What spider shall we kill for you and do you want the trash out today?
Can’t Sleep...Must Write.
Current mood: awake
Category: Life
I've been in bed now since Midnight. It's now three a.m. and I can't sleep. I don't know if it's the cold or what, but it's driving me bananas. I'll just knock out a few things here, if you don't mind. I'd love to answer reader mail but since no one has any, I'll do this instead.
I finally saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" tonight and it was well worth it. Richard Poper has called it the funniest movie of the year and myabe all time, which is right since I laughed my head off from beginning to end. I lke the fact that the start and writer of the film Jason Segal put himself out there with this story. He's naked at the begining of the film and naked at the end, but truly, he's left himself literally flap in the wind and showing folks all about break ups, warts and all. A very tough subject to write about without looking stupid, and winding up a great movie.
Speaking of breaking up, I have come to the conclusion that I am fated to be single. It will be five years this June for me and I should feel good about it. I mean, there's no drama in my life, I'm not broke from speading too much money on somebody else and I can be myself instead of trying to act like someone else. The part that sucks is that you see all you friends and family screw aaround and do the most stupidist shite and end a good thing. I know what you're saying..."Sam- it wasn't a good thing when they got together in the first place. Well, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it. If you make a COMMITTMENT to someone, you are supposed to be with that person, no matter what. AS soon as my ex heard the "for sickness and for health" line from the Justice of the Piece, her selective eharing went off. In a few days it awould have been my fifteenth wedding anniversary and I will be spedning it by myself. No, I take that back. Someone well find me and tell me about how their life sucks with the old one and the new one makes them feel much better and that they can't wait to get the divorce. I'll hear something like that and then I will put the phone down while they are talking and put them on mute while I crank up some Ozzy.
In short, I hate you all who cheat on your mate while guys like me who want the love and don't get it watch you much it all up. There, I said it.
Now, let's jump over to my real webpage Sam-a-rama for more news tonight, shall we? Whatever Tom and those My Space bastards tell you, coming to my site is safe so redirect yourselves now.
I'm all hopped up on Zytec to get rid of my allergies and trying to go to sleep after taking an Ambien Cr all while wearing a CPAP. And now, I'm posting at three in the morning. I feel like Hunter S. Thompson right now. In the middle of my drugged haze, I posted a "casual encounters" ad on Craigslist. WHY THE HELL WHERE YOU GUYS!? WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?!
Oh, because it was three in the morning. I got it.
At least the ad looks good. I think...
"I posted an ad here before and quite truthfully, it really didn't work out well, so I'm trying it again one year later. The simple truth is I've going back to college to get a Bachelor's in Legal Studies and hold down a job at the same time. I don't play football and I'm not that athletic, but I try and work one when I can. Otherwise, I watch Turner Classic Movies, "The Office and Keith Olberman. I'm looking for someone to watch a loud Summer movie with or enjoy a slice of pizza or even check out the Jepson Museum one in a while. Also, I host a karaoke gig, so please don't hate me for that. Otherwise, I'm your ordinary average guy. No kids and no drama. If you have the kids, it's okay, by the way. Just no drama, please. We all have a past. You just don't have to look back".
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Oh yeah. He's damn sexy and great with babies. How many fugly chicks do you think are gonna show up for this one?
You wanna see some "Underground Savannah"?
Current mood: nervous
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Sure, not a problem. The only thing is your gonna have to go to MY REAL SITE Sam-A-Rama, to see a clip. And from this point on, "U.S." clips will only be shown on that site and no other. Unless G4 gets a hold of them and I wind up looking like an ass. Go see the clip and never say I was a tease.
accomplished
tired
confused
awake
mellow
nervous