PEARLS: The end is near
Current mood: adored
Category: Life
PEARLS: Live. The end of the world is near.
Turning 40 led me to go through a summation of sorts….which in turn made me think of my parents. I've always admired them. In their 60s, they've traveled to just about every major international city. They are an inspiration. They possess a perspective BEYOND American suburbia.
Dad says, "Life is short, anak ko." Cliché.....but from a mid-age perspective, it now bears more relevance.
So I have decided ...
To gaze up to the northern skies and see the Aurora Borealis give my boys the memory of an All-American road trip tread on the very soil where majestic African Elephants march touch the very bricks the pharaohs touched in Gaza soak my feet in the balmy waters of the Carribean sip on divine wines in Tuscany and Chianti walk the road a great carpenter walked in Nazareth drive on the Autobahn in Germany hear my voice echo at the great Opera House in Sidney revisit the place which bred my heroes - Helen and Nate and...... do other things I have yet to conceive.
Which takes me to my point ….The end is near no matter what you do. A coworker said to me yesterday, "It's the sign of the times. The earthquakes, the freaky weather, the hurricanes, the hideous crimes." To which I politely said, "Yes it is." And slowly walked away. I really wanted to say the following, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
Dude, the end was near for Crete in 1375 B.C.; for Greeks in 800 BC after an unknown natural catastrophe which decimated the population; when 25 million (a third of the population) died of the bubonic plague in Europe between 1347 - 1352; when 9-11 million Jews were massacred in the 1940's.; when Native Americans were almost annihilated by the white man; when African children were snatched from their parents and sold to foreign men - then beaten and hung on trees; when there was a meteor shower on November 13, 1833 and it looked like heaven was breaking wide open.
"End is near" catastrophes are historically cyclic. If the "end" is near, then let it come. It is an eventuality that we can't stop. The end may come this year, in 1 year or 1,000,000 years, or in the very distant future when the universe collapses on itself (according to some theorists). THE POINT IS … THERE WILL BE AN END.
You could get hit by a truck when you walk out the door today, and your END is right there. As a trauma nurse, I am reminded of this reality everyday. Two nights ago, we had a 30-year-old man in for a GSW (gun shot wound) to the back. He was standing at the ATM - an ATM I've been to before! We worked on him for a while, but he met his end in the OR of an aortic rupture.
I choose to be true to myself without hurting anyone. I refuse to preoccupy myself with short-sighted conspiracy theories and "end of time" talk. You know what? The end could be later today at the wrong end of a bus.
When I meet my maker, and HE or SHE asks me, "Did you live your life shackled by your regrets and fears, or did you revel (I used it Clo) in the glory of life that I gave you? "Have you been a good steward of the life that I gave you?" I will hopefully humbly be able to say yes.
End of a very opinionated blog. Subscribe to my blog here. Go ahead :).
Now that I have time to myself, I have rediscovered TV. I have recently caught up with the current TV shows. I love American Idol, but that's another blog. I was vegetating the other day, and I ended up watching a whole day of Beauty and the Geek. Have you seen this show? It's a show about women paired up with "geeks". Aside from the annoying stereotypes that the "beauty" is automatically dumb and ignorant, and the "geek" automatically is a genius, it was quite entertaining.
There's definitely something about "geeky" men that makes them attractive to women. They maybe nerdy to most, but ladies, they are definitely something to try before you leave this earth. So, if I were to find a man, I thought, how do I find a geeky man and why would I want one. Being the analytical person that I am, I had to research this and this is what I came up with.
"Geeks" are ideal mates for a myriad of things:
1. They will most likely research everything and plan the way your dates will go. 2. They are generally not players, so you will have no problems with the "baby mama drama." 3. Your computers will always be networked and you will always have your own tech support. 4. Your house will always be up on the latest electronic gadgets and techie paraphernelia. 5. You will most likely not have to worry about other women trying to steal them from you. 6. Contrary to what you may think, it is hard to get a "geek" because they are socially awkward, and find it difficult to relate to the "RL" (real world). So once you get them out of their techie world and into you, you got yourself a loyal and devoted mate. 7. They don't expect much from you so you don't have to act like a video vixen or porn star. They are used to being turned down, so when you give them something, it's a treasure.
How to spot your Geek:
1. The best place to find your geek is of course online. It's where they live. It's almost like a video game for them - finding the girl, strategizing and maneuvering your profile and emails to snag her; with the ultimate prize - a hot chick. All you have to do is google the words "geek date" and voila. A plethora of geek dating sites comes up. Don't ask me how I know this. I told you I have a lot of time on my hands. 2. You may be introduced by a friend. If you happen to be set up on a blind date with a geek, ladies, just get over the stigma of dating a geek, and give it a chance. You'll find that after all the techie convos and debate about the ramifications of the heirarchy of power on Star Trek. He is a monster in bed because he has done the research. Most likely, he knows your every errogenous zones better than the average 6-pack guy. 3. He maybe wearing a "cool" logo of the latest software. Learn these logos. It will help you spot your geek easier. Better yet, get yourself one - go to the nearest computer store and ask one of the sales rep the names of the latest and coolest software available, and see if you can find a logo for a T-shirt. This will attract your "geeks" for sure. 4. He lacks the need to conform to fashion guidelines and seems to want to wear whatever makes him feel comfortable or deems cool. This maybe fun for you because you can go shopping for your geek guy, as this is not one of his favorite activity.
So now you have your geek:
1. When you confess your attraction, he may run away and not know how to respond. You must be relentless. 2. Try not to be the sexpot and social butterfly that you are and tone it down a bit - competition easily scares him. 3. He may not get your subtle hints that you are interested. Even blatant flirtatious advances may go way past his head. So, be persistent. Your rewards will be great. 4. They love to debate and discuss the injustices in the world and what's wrong with politics, and how certain operating systems are better than others. Just nod your head and acknowledge that you care because they care. 5. They love mysteries, challenges and brain-teasing puzzles. So always keep him guessing and brush up on solving some puzzles. He will be thoroughly impressed.
Sometimes there's just that certain something that is palpable but intangible about that geeky man. In parting, I'd like to leave you ladies with photos of my favorite geeky actor.
Ed Norton. At first I was a bit leary of his judgment with his past relationship with Courtney Love. Then he had a thing with Salma Hayek, then they broke up. Hmm, Ed is single again? After seeing him in Fight Club, I just could not say no if Ed came to my door and asks, "Janie, let me take you away from all this." Okie dokie.
- Blogstress
P.S. You may have noticed my top friends and the new theme. HEHE. I thought it was time to redecorate. I think i'll have a new theme every week. Next week - porn chick/video vixen motif.
Currently
listening
:
Ashes to Ashes
By
Joe Sample
Release date: 05 October, 1990
LOVE EMAILS PART IV
Current mood: Working (sort of) in the OC
Category: Working (sort of) in the OC MySpace
by jane
I thought it was time to gather up my emails again and post the ones that are of questionable nature. Who's blog is this? (All together now...) - The Blogstress' Blog. I just think that some emails I get are too entertaining not to share. Here goes...
This guy below is very attractive wouldn't you say? Wow, nice abs. Wouldn't you like to climb that. I can hear Cloda saying, "Shut up!" It's true. He's very well built. But, I can't vouch for the veracity of this profile. Are you for real? I love how he strategically places the towel. You think I should call? Maybe.....hahaha. I'll let you know what happens.
ha ha , im at work so i cant be on here but i get off at 7 but if u wanna call me , my cell ph is 323-***-****.
----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: BlogStress AKA Lakerbunny Date: 22 Mar 2007, 04:09 PM
Oh my MD. Your photo is quite.....ummmmm. Jeez.
----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: MD Date: Mar 22, 2007 3:59 PM
hey pretty
..>..>..>..>..>..>..>..>
The next email is interesting. Cute. Aparrently, she is in need of ass, and does not mind looking for it. I aint mad acha girl. Or is this a ploy to get me to read a blog. Creative...
I am Mr. Ex.'s feminine side, and I am currently in need of ass...
Body:
...istance! I managed to get myself handcuffed at a virtual online orgy at Miss Erotic Writer's blog, and everyone has either left or gone to sleep. If you would like to stop by and let me loose, (or take advantage, as you see fit) you may find Miss E. on my friend's list. Click her and send her a friend request. May I tell her you are on the way?
..>..>..>..>..>..>..>..>
This dude is just 18 years old, ya'll. Why do I keep getting these jail baits. I'm 38 going on 45 baby. Nah baby.
Okay, this next one is not for the faint of heart. If you don't like to be shocked, click away from my blog NOW! He is definitely working with a weapon there. Jeez Louise! .....To see the photos....just copy and paste his yahoo address onto your browser (I put it in bold) and prepare to be amazed. Dude, I might call you too. Just kidding Cloda....hahaha. Okay you call him.....LOL.
aww. my pleasure! :) hope u like something about me too!
http://photos.yahoo.com/johnny_2_swe some pics from my old site...
xxx
----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: BlogStress AKA Lakerbunny Date: Mar 14, 2007 7:21 PM
Thanks johnny
----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: johnny Date: Mar 14, 2007 5:46 PM
WOW
hope youre having a good day!
xxx // johnny
..>..>..>..>..>..>..>..>
This next guy is clueless. First of all, my screenname is LakerBunny. It is not cute to be saying this on the email. It only aggravates. Which is why he is blocked and deleted. My friends know better than to come at me with this feeble attempt at being witty.
This guy has the right idea. Make nice like on the email, and not all antagonistic. This guy is charming, isn't he? But, unfortunately, he has only 1 friend, which means.....sexual predator, married, not real, or cheater.
we could run away to a desrted island and make beautiful babies????
..>..>..>..>..>..>..>..>
The email below is sweet. And the "Respectful Kisses". Wow. And, look...no spelling errors. That's a plus. But, unfortunately again, when you click on the profile, it's empty. I don't know anything about you. If you're real, then you got my vote baby....Damn these fake profiles and sexual predators.
Now I know there's a man walking around kicking himself for letting you get away. You are one very attractive lady.
Respectful Kisses
..>..>..>..>..>..>..>..>
That's it for now. I have more, but this blog is getting longer and longer. I just picked the most interesting ones. Hope you all had an eventful weekend. Peace and keep writing them emails. You might be featured on LOVE EMAILS V. Peace.
INSOMNIA INDUCED MYSPACE EPIPHANIES
Current mood: Deliriously Psychotic. I'll ask for forgivene
Category: Deliriously Psychotic. I'll ask for forgivene MySpace
By Jane
I'm a raging insomniac. I'm doing a Top 6 Annoying Observations on MySpace. I haven't slept in over 24 hours so I cannot be held responsible for what I'm writing right now, but you know what......it's my blog. I'll probably piss off a bunch of people, but you know what.......it's my blog. So there.
I was just browsing through this plethora of humanity we call MySpace in hopes of getting lulled to sleep. Instead, I became increasingly engaged in a study of human behavior. This lead me to a few profound questions and conclusions that I hope maybe you can help me reconcile in my muddle headed brain right now.
1. Almost always - if your profile pic is of your torso and rippling abs, in an unnaturally painful flexing pose.....you are most likely gay.
I apologize to my manly men out there who don't fall in this category as you are probably one of the few exceptions; and you might consider changing your profile pic. I'm sure you have experienced getting confused for someone who is gay. I have nothing against gay men. I love gay men. My best friends are gay. But, that's what they do. They pose naked in front of the mirror with the camera phone.
2. Why do men on myspace think that putting all the half naked models and porn chicks on their top friends make them look cool and appealing?
You don't know these people!!!!! The only person I know that can get away with this because he actually knows porn chicks and models is my friend JAG. I'm telling you in my sleepless haze - Girls will look at your profile and think. "Moth****a, Please." Not impressed....It is contrived and pathetic. It's not enticing.
3. All the glittery stuff....please......for the love of God......I can't take it.
It was cool when you got on myspace for the first time. But, dammit, you're making my browser crash every 5 minutes and I have to restart Firefox over and over again. You have too much shit on your profile. Do you need all that to draw attention to yourself? Please resist. You can't even see the text on your page. It only appeals to readers (or non-readers) below the reading level of a 7 year-old.
4. Apparently, people are stealing celebrity identities and using it to chat and meet people. Hmmmmm.... how clever.....NOT. This definitely makes you a loser. There are so many celebrity sites for Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton. Don't ask me how I figured it out. I told you I was up all night.
So, there are groups and profiles dedicated to verifying real celibrity identities, such as this --->Celebrity Verifier
Thank goodness for the celebrity verifiers. Whew! Otherwise, MySpace cannot keep it's journalistic integrity and vouch for it's veracity.
5. If you're a guy on myspace, you are bombarded with half naked chicks everyday.
But, I feel bad for you guys, because you are constantly being lured by the great marketing tool - sex. You can spot these profiles a mile away. In my sleepless stupor, I have learned to distinguish between a real profile and a fake/webcam profile. So, if you're looking for true love on MySpace, it's not likely. I'm not saying it's true for everyone. You may be one of the lucky ones homey...
WEB CAM CHICK
MY FRIEND REBECCA CAVENDISH. SHE'S A REAL PERSON.
6. It's infuriating to me that these frickin' spammers have messed it up for everybody. I used to add everyone who requested me. Now, I find that soon after I add profiles, they are spamming with "I can make your penis bigger." Or, "I can make you money, just sitting on your ass at home filling out surveys and you can make $5."
Grrrrrr. They create profiles, and then poof, they're gone after you've added them and they have spammed your page. I am not adding anymore people until further notice. Okay, maybe I'm just delirious.....but we'll see how I feel after some sleep.
End of Delirum.
- Blogstress
Currently
listening
:
21
By
Omarion
Release date: 26 December, 2006
There's this new show - The Starter Wife on the USA Network starring Debra Messing, and I'm definitely intrigued. It's about this woman who is in her 40's on the verge of getting divorced. I was drawn to it. Ponds is doing a marketing blitz about it - 40 and fabulous. I considered submitting for the contest, but I'm not 40 yet, so I'm blogging about it here.
I'm going to be 40......someday. Actually I'll be 39 in a couple of months, and I had a conversation with my best friend Cloda, who is a Licensed Therapist and School Psychologist, about this growing phenomenon of older women dating younger men. What is the draw towards older women? Is 30 really the new 20, and 40 the new 30? Shouldn't we be driving minivans, wearing "mommy" pants, be total fuddy duddies? Were the stereotypes we had growing up about 40 year old women still relevant to us in this day and age?
Halle Berry, Vivica Fox, Demi Moore, are just a few of the celebs who are brazen in flaunting their May-December relationships. I myself was married to a younger man. After separating from him, now I am dating a younger man. It wasn't by design, I might add. It just happened that way. Honest. I seem to attract considerably younger men. I always have. Weird. Hmmmm.
if you're dating a woman in her 40's, ohhhhh boy. I want to give you some pointers. You are in for it.....in a good way.
She has her positive side/negative sides. Sometimes they are the same characteristics. It really depends on how you look at it.
1. Sensual/Insatiable: She has the libido of fifteen 20-year olds. Prepare to be outdone and exhausted. You might have to say "no" for once in your life. 2. Survivor/Cold Fish: Has probably been hurt before, been in love before, been to hell and back before, so whatever you dish out, she will weather the storm. Don't test her, because she will leave you in a heart beat and just be fine. On the other hand, this may be a plus for you because she is definitely low maintenance, not a whiner. She's a survivor. 3. Stable/Stubborn: She is set in her ways, and you have to really be patient about letting her see that some of her ways that annoy you need to be changed. She is not totally incapable of change. She just needs a little help from you. 4. Tender/Serious: When she falls for you, she will fall hard. Getting there might be a challenge, but once you have her, you can count on her integrity and loyalty. She's done playing games. 5. Confident/Bossy: With a wealth of life experiences behind her, she has an air of confidence that guides her decision-making. She may come across as bossy to you because she knows what she wants. However, you can harness this confidence and channel it into more positive avenues. She is a loyal partner, true friend, and a loyal confidante - a force to be reckoned with and someone you definitely want to be on your side.
For my young sisters in their 20's and 30's - trust me luv, it gets better with time. You have so much to look forward to.
- Blogstress
Currently
listening
:
21
By
Omarion
Release date: 26 December, 2006
CONFESSIONS OF A RECOVERING WHORE...
Current mood: Pragmatic but Aware motherfucker
Category: Pragmatic but Aware motherfucker Fashion, Style, Shopping
BrandName that is….
Sorry bloggers, I have been working and have been out of town, so I haven't blogged like I wanted to.But, here is an entry that is near and dear to my heart.
By Jane
Okay, let me start from the beginning.I am a recovering brand name whore.During my previous marriage, I enjoyed the benefits of a two-income household.We weren't filthy rich, but it was more comfortable than how it is now.The perks included many things----including shopping.
COSMETIC FETISH
Gone are the days when I could walk into Nordstrom and find Kip, my personal cosmetics shopper guy (or girl).I MISS YOU KIP!!!! *sniff, sniff*.In his very twangy feminine voice, and fully made up face, and tattoos on his arm, he would wave at me.
"Hey Jane.How are you girl?Guess what, I got some new stuff from Stila, some Too-faced and MAC stuff; and Borghese has a to-die-for gift set."
Kip(dealer) = $300 to $400 worth of cosmetics purchases per visit I saw him 1-2 times month.
COACH FETISH
Gone are the days when I would walk into a Coach store and get the latest Coach bag when it first came out.
Coach store = $400 – 500 per visit (once a month, usually in Vegas).
RECOVERY STRATEGIES
Stay away from Kip!!!Revlon is not so bad.Now, as a single mom, working with a single income household, I have had to learn to curb myself. I spent $99.70 on cosmetics at Target the other day.This would have cost me about $400 bucks at the MAC counter! I've acquiesced to the realization that I can shop for a fraction of the price.
My girls at work are going to California Mart in a couple of days.It's a fashion district of sorts in LA where they sell really cute accessories and name brand clothes for apparently …… cheap…….*gasp*.It might be fun.I will be wearing my comfortable (Coach) shoes and Bebe sweatsuit.
My coworker says she bought a bunch of Coach bags from the outlet stores, and she is selling them for charity.She has them in the trunk of her car……..I will be following her to the parking structure after work on Monday.
Christmas shopping season is coming, and I'm afraid I'm going to starting whoring again.BE STRONG JANIE, BE STRONG……..
ADDENDUM:
I ran out of lotion.HOWEVER, I will NOT give up my favorite lotion - Body Shop Body Butter lotion = 16.50.You can take the girl out of whoring, but you can't take the whore out of the girl.
End of confession.
Note:If you comment on my blog, I will be sure to comment back on your page.I don't give a fuck what anyone says to you.This is my fucking space…
"Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?"Not so much……
Women aren't that difficult.Our concerns are just different than men's.
Why is it so hard to get along with us?
Men, it's not so hard.Those who have mastered women understand the following:
We like being the queen.That we are the only one in your eyes….. may not be the truth, but we like to feel like we are the queen of your world.We like to hear things like, "You are the most beautiful woman.""I'll do anything for you.""I don't know what I would do without you." "I can't believe I'm with you.""I love you so much." Trust me, flattery gets you everywhere.
Women have fragile egos and will try to achieve perfection for you, only to be shot down by one silly comment from you like, "Your hair has been a mess lately.""Hmmmm, are you gaining weight?"Never say this.
.
Women are moody.We can't help it.Most of the time, we keep it in check, but sometimes we succumb to this periodic chemical change.It's called PMS.As a matter of fact….that whole week surrounding that dreaded monthly event for women is an emotionally charged time for us.During this time, we are more emotional due to a surge of hormones, so cater to us.We are irritable due to uterine muscle pain, so minimize the annoying habits and comments.We are bloated and we feel fat and ugly due to mild fluid overload…..so make us feel pretty, even though we feel like a wreck.
We want to be heard.Women's concerns, no matter how trivial you think it is, are of utmost important.Sometimes, women's concerns are so paramount to her that it could possibly be a deal breaker, whereas to you, it's just another stupid argument.In her mind, she could be thinking……"That's it.I can't possibly be with him!"So, if she asks you to put the toilet seat back down, just do it.It makes us feel like our concerns are your concerns too.
Woman are sexual.If you make her happy….finding her sexual nuances, find her "hot spots", keep her in the "happy" place, let her indulge in "guilty pleasures" whatever that may be for her, make her feel that she is the only woman you would ever dream of being with, make her feel secure that you would never hurt her or betray her, or that she is the only person in your life that matters the most to you ------there is nothing she won't do for you…….and maybe if she's freaky enough she may let you indulge in your fantasies - whatever that may be.
Now, after you read this and didn't feel the least bit dismayed about dealing with women, and have not felt the urge to become a monk or stop dealing with women all together, or even turn gay, then you pretty much get what I'm saying.
"IS HE CHEATING?" WHO CARES!!!!
Current mood: Pensive
Category: Pensive Life
I was thinking.In my 38 years on this earth, have I learned anything valuable?Am I better than I was at 20?I would hope so.
Being an almost 40 year-old woman, I wanted to recap what I've learned about life.I wanted to impart some of my observations in life.
Happiness. (Learned at about 37.)If you're a weedhead…..surround yourself with weedheads.It will make you happy.If you're an intellectual poet, like minded individuals will only enrich your life.People make me happy, but when someone makes me sad repeatedly……..they gotta go.Years and years of sadness is not conducive to healthy living.Surrounding yourself with people who make you happy with like interests is key.
Love.(Learned at 19.) We throw this word around so freely that the meaning is lost.So, how does everyday lust and animalistic attraction differ from love.Love is a conscious effort.Love is a decision you make regardless of what others think.Love makes you want to do the right thing and stick to something even when it's inconvenient or painful.
Do the right thing. (Learned from others.) Doing bad things to people and being deceitful catches up to you. It eats into your soul and you become this unfeeling, soul-less, manipulator.One day, you may wake up, and the people that are important to you have moved on because of your emotional neglect.It happens.
Patience is a virtue. (Learned after delivery of first baby.) A lot of mistakes I've made in my life were a result of compulsiveness and impatience.I tried to achieve things by shortcut, and in the long run, it was disastrous.Patient people are truly blessed.
Relationships. (Learned recently.) Not all men are assholes.And not all women are bitches.We are all just people and generalizing men and women in a category is just as bad as racial stereotyping.True, most men are so fucking insensitive sometimes, but that doesn't mean they love you any less.True, most women are frickin' sensitive as hell, but that doesn't mean they won't do anything in their power to please you.Instead of thinking it's men against women…think – "It's me and you against all of them baby."
More on relationships. (I knew this all along.) Oh, and another thing, you can't force and manipulate someone to be with you.If they really want to be with you, they'll come to you in time.Forcing someone (i.e. stalking, repeated calls, endless texting and messaging) is like smooshing a piece of cake down somebody's throat.Just wait for them to develop the appetite for dessert.If it was meant to be, then they'll come to you.In the meantime, you should respect another individual's space and privacy. No one owns anyone.
Relationships again…..(Learned at 35.) People ask me for advice sometimes, which really flatters me because who am I.But, here's my take."Is he cheating?"My answer is.. "Who cares!."Just do the right thing yourself.Things have a way of revealing themselves.It may take time, but the universe somehow balances things out.I've seen this happen so many times.
Perfect is such a malleable notion. (Relearning this everyday.) It's so hard to accept that you aren't "perfect" and the sooner you stop comparing yourself to the current social standard, the faster you'll achieve inner peace.Instead of trying to emulate something that others want you to be, just be yourself and surround yourself with the people who accept you for you are.
DON'T HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH YOUR PENIS
Current mood: Non-malicious
Category: Non-malicious Movies, TV, Celebrities
The issue at hand is porn and porn patronizers.I feel that porn is a great tool for a healthy sex life for couples who are liberated and secure enough in their relationship.But, I think that there is a time and place for everything, and it must not be used in excess as in anything.
I was talking to Brent and we came upon this issue of porn and "booty shakers".This sparked a debate about between us.
PRESS PLAY ON THE PLAYER BELOW TO HEAR THE AUDIO BLOG.
I have myspace friends and offline friends who are directly and indirectly involved in the porn/entertainment industry (Goldie, you are still the homie. Travis, you are the coolest.Mimi, you are a beautiful person and a fearless entrepreneur).To me, they are the smart ones capitalizing on this industry.
With that said, let me just clear something up - everyday red-blooded sober women with any slight level of self-esteem - as a rule:
On any given day, we don't specially enjoy semen projectiles in our eyes and up our nostrils.
Don't want for you to beat your penis on any part of our anatomy, especially our face. What is that about?
Don't usually moan, groan, and eagerly await for you to ejaculate in our mouths.
As a rule we don't like for you to spit on our vaginas repeatedly.A slight lubrication is bearable, but hocking a loogie and getting lubricated by all your oral microbial flora is not pleasant.
Women actually enjoy being romanced, kissed on the neck, breasts, arms, legs, etc.According to porn, this art is nonexistant.
The bottom line is, if you want to give pleasure to your lady, don't look to porn for guidance.Porn only serves to deter you from the real sexual needs of women.
Bottom line:I'm not against porn, but porn is like indulging in cake……..anything in excess will ruin you…..and make you want to beat your penis onto your girls face.
I AM NOT A TERRORIST!!!
Current mood: Reminiscing terrorist-free travel hassles
Category: Reminiscing terrorist-free travel hassles Travel and Places
I almost became a terrorist
By Jane
I was at LAX a month ago and I was aggravated to the max.
I'm a pretty conscientious law-abiding citizen, but I have grown weary of flying because of all the rules... The rules change so much that I have to check the internet at..tsa.gov for the latest rules so I don't get delayed for any reason at airport security.
First it was .. "no lighters", then "take your shoes off."
Then it was .. "no liquids or gel."
Now it's .. "no liquids or gels above 3 ounces, and all must be in a ziplock see-through bag."
So, I walked through security feeling secure that I was in total compliance .. already running late, unaware of the ATROCITY that was to come...
It's bad enough that I have to take off my platform Coach shoes at the airport, and walk barefoot on the cold airport floor
(Note to self:.. Bring socks for just this thing next time)... I'm thinking to myself... "This is not sanitary... I'm picking up everyone's microbes here with my little Fred Flinstones feet."
The security lady cold-stopped me as she perused my carry-on with the x-ray machine.
"Ah, Ma'am... Step away from the line please."
"Uhhh... Wha...Okay."
"I need to look through your bag."
"Okay."
"Do you have anything sharp in this bag?"
"Ummmm..... lemme see... I don't think so."
"Well, you need to think."
"Okay, no... I would say that I don't."
"What's in here?"
"That's my foundation."
"Well, it's over 3 ounces, and we have to confiscate it."
"Awwww, come on... That's MAC..... It's not 3 ounces... I've used half of it... Please?"
*Security lady looked at me with a sympathetic heavily made-up face*
"Okay, but this mascara can't make it through."
"Really?.. Ooookay."
"Yup, we have to throw it out."
And with one painful toss, my mascara, now deemed a terrorist weapon, was tossed into the trash bin.
I am so down for the beefed up security at the airports, but dammit to hell!!!.. She threw out my Princess Borghese mascara... I loved that mascara
I walked towards my gate seething, looking back at "Heavy Make-Up security lady" with contempt.
I looked at my bag, and I find my lighter... Great.......my lighter went through all that security, but my mascara was a threat to national security... Perfect.
I took my 14-year-old to a Skate Party, and I couldn't help but think.Oh shit.I used to go to these things.Hell no you're not going. Instead I said, "Okay, cool."
It was just a few years ago he was telling me when he was 4, "Mom, when I grow up my wife will have to understand that you live with me because I love my mommy."
I'm trippin' at how he has grown into a young man.He even has his own voice message on his phone (in his manly voice), "Hey, you've reached Jordan, leave a message and I'll get back on it."Whaa…..When….How……..did this happen?
I've always advocated an open line of communication with my boys.My parents totally sheltered us to the point of gullibility.I'm not saying they were wrong, but it was their way.But as a result of that upbringing, I was like a lamb vulnerable to the wolves out there when I finally went out on my own - naïve and impressionable.
I try to include my boys in discussions about drugs, gangs, sex, crime, social and news events.I don't want them sheltered.I want them to be informed, yet appropriate. I try to find that balance.
I hate to be accused of babying my boys, but sometimes I have to check myself.This is a kid who is at the cusp of adulthood.He's just discovering life.That's what scares me.But, it consoles me that he is responsible (most of the time), always respects me, never gets into trouble at school, and an honor roll student.Last night I was reminded of his social evolution into adulthood.
adored
