The Red Paintball Triumphs!
Current mood: excited
Category: Blogging
The Red Paintball
reviewed by Richard Hinojosa
Jul 15, 2008
The Red Paintball is a very funny extended riff on a single bit. A self-righteous religious zealot school principal named Maxwell Morrison has been assaulted by a group of students with a paintball gun and is determined to get to the bottom of who pulled the trigger. When I say "get to the bottom," I mean that quite literally. When it is revealed that student Luke McAllister pulled the trigger, Maxwell could not be happier because he is desperately attracted to Luke and would love to show him the magic of man-boy love, but Luke resists him every step of the way. Most of the comedy in the show comes from the various tactics Maxwell attempts in his quest to nail this young man, but there are other things going on.
The play opens with five students gathered to plan their assault on the principal. One of them, Mary Simmons, is well known to be a rat but for some reason they include her anyway. Mary, of course, turns them all in for Hershey Kisses that she collects in a velvet draw-string bag like so many silver pieces given to Judas. Maxwell extracts more and more information from her by dropping more and more candy on the floor in front of her. One of the students is a pothead, another is trying to act ghetto, and the last one is in love with a school secretary who is in the room during the initial interrogation.
Playwrights Laura and Alyssa Waldron have penned a very funny short play that takes a look at self-righteous behavior gone very, very wrong. There are many snappy one-liners that will make you want to laugh and cringe at the same time. The play is essentially a one-trick pony but they make the best of that trick. The show was originally a ten-minute short and I can see how this play would be hilarious in such a tight little package. In this extended version it loses its grip on the audience here and there, but for the most part it will hold your attention to the end. The Waldrons also direct the play and they lend to it a very fast pace and lots of physical comic bits.
The cast is very good. They look as if they are having a good time and that made me want to join them. Robbie Simpson plays his role of the creeped-out school kid, Luke, perfectly, and Alyssa Schroeter hits big-time as the tattle-tale candy monster. Matthew Patane is good as the feckless pothead kid and Mary Pasquale gets some laughs as the white girl acting like she's from the 'hood. Will Szigethy is hilarious as the lovelorn school kid and Alexandra Heinen is oddly funny as the dumpy, deadpan secretary. But it is Vincent DiGeronimo as Maxwell who rules the night. He is so over the top and completely sunk into this role that he forces everyone in the house to smile and laugh even when they are shaking their heads in disgust.
The Red Paintball is a fun show. There's not much to it, but that doesn't matter because you'll have a good time laughing. And at less than an hour long it won't take up too much of your time.
Written/created by: Alyssa & Laura Waldron Directed by Alyssa & Laura Waldron
OK, how do I begin? Let me set the mood for you all if you will allow me. This coming October Vincent and I will have been together for ten years. Well, minus a couple of roadblocks along the way, 10 years none the less.
The question of marriage has run back and forth for the past year or so. Come to my surprise that Gay Marriage is now legal in California (pending that stupid ruling coming up in November, but I digress) New York State will be obligated to recognize those marriages.
This seems perfect. Our ten year anniversary is coming up. Also as some of you may know Paula Cole (ya know, that lady singer we like) is going to be performing on Olivia's Music and Sport Mexican Riviera cruise.
For those of you unfamiliar this is a lesbian cruise line that caters to, well, lesbians. My questions. Can gay men go on this cruise? I've googled it, sent an email to Olivia, and asked opinions of other people I know. Should we be allowed on this cruise? For those who really know us, how perfect would OUR honeymoon be with a Paula Cole concert AND being surrounded by lesbians!
I understand that these lovely ladies have no interest in being a cruise with men. But honestly, how much damage can a couple of gay men cause in the midst of your womanly bonding? I don't see why it should be an issue.
Am I wrong? Then please let me know and tell me why you feel that way. Personally I don't think that segregating gay men and lesbians is something that really needs to be done at this point. Just the fact alone that we are "gay men" and women are "lesbians" is kind of ridiculous. We all know I've never been a label whore LOL.
What I don't want to hear is..."Gay men have their own cruise blah blah blah". Only because I have no interest in being surrounded by a myriad of "gym bunnies" frollicking around in their banana hammocks inbetween hits of crystal meth and random anal sex on the poop deck (i'm sorry I had to, it was too easy).
Let it be known that I can't stand gay men (for those of you whom have already entered into my circle of love please pay no attention to that statement). But I find that for the most part gay men are as irritating as straight men are to straight women. Placing ridiculous standards about body image and hair and clothes and shoes and ::wretch::. Sorry, just thinking about it made me vomit in my mouth a little bit.
OK, so that was a bit of a tangent. Anyhow, discuss and let me know how you feel.
Should we be allowed on the Olivia Music and Sports Mexican Riviera Cruise?
Currently
listening
:
Courage
By
Paula Cole
Release date: 2007-06-12
Why is it so difficult to find a gay themed movie that does not suck.
I just got "Stonewall" from Netflix and I am about 46 minutes into it and here I am posting a blog on myspace. I'm actually apalled that what I consider and many others a very important moment in history was butt-raped by bad acting, a bad screen play and just really horrible movie.
I'm just holding out right now to see the actual "riot". Ok, this is all.
Currently
watching
:
Stonewall Release date: 2008-05-27
"Civil unions in Portugal were introduced for same-sex couples in 15 March 2001.
The current legislation extends to same-sex couples the same rights as heterosexual couples living in a de facto union for more than two years. The law covers housing arrangements, civil servants and work benefits, the option to choose a fiscal regime as married partners, and welfare benefits. The difference in the civil union law between same-sex and opposite-sex couples is that only opposite-sex couples can adopt children together.
The "registration" can be made by an application of joint tax assessment, but this is not required to benefit from the law protections.
Also in 15 March 2001, a new multi-person law ("common economy") was also approved that protects two or more persons that live in common economy with most of the rights of the de facto union, except welfare benefits.
Since December 2006, both same sex and opposite sex couples in a civil union are also recognized in the same way as married couples for citizenship applications and when a public servant wants to extend healthcare protection to the partner. The Penal Code was amended in 2007 to criminalize violence in same-sex relationships. For more information on the new Penal Code, see below."
Now I remember several times in the past saying things such as "I'm so glad that my parents decided to move to the United States instead of staying in the hills of Portugal". Or other such phrases that matched the same sentiment.
Should I start eating crow? I mean of course civil unions and gayness are not the only things in life that should matter. But for quite a long time I felt that my "people" were nothing but an overly catholic ignorant mass.
The title of this blog may lead to some confusion. Let me say now that no, Vincent is not a manipulator. He is fantastic, and might I say steadily walking the road to recovery. Haha, This is a two parter. 1--Manipulation-sickens me. 2. Vincent's status
Part One I really can't stand people. Especially people who spend their lives making others believe that they are good virtuous people. People who will BLATANTLY use others to make their lives more comfortable without any sign of GUILT, SHAME, or REMORSE.
I'd embellish, but this doesn't actually pertain to anyone who is here on myspace. All I have to say is keep playing the martyr role, I suppose it suits you.
My only message to the person who shall not be named:
Any and all respect I have ever had for you is truly gone forever. I will never understand how you wake up every day and continue to live the lie that you have created around you. Before my dying day I only hope I get to see you crumble under the weight of your manipulative ways. If God is just, he will have my wish come true.
Part Two On another note, Vincent is doing just fine :). Well, he's not fine. It changes every day, he deals with a lot of pain, but has lots of meds to keep him going. We're just very fortunate that it was not any worse than it actually is. He is getting better every single day. Yesterday was difficult due to a migraine that he just couldn't shake, but today is much better. We even went for a little stroll around Woodlawn (well, at least one block of Napier Avenue LOL).
Again, thanks to everyone who has checked in on him and sent messages etc...
Alright everyone, I'm going to make this as short and sweet as possible. I just wanted to let anyone who cares know about what's been going on lately.
This past Thursday night, Vincent was in a car accident out in PA where he was been working and living for the past few months. Thankfully he is OK. They had to cut him out of the car with the jaws of life, and he was taken to the ER of Lehigh Valley Hospital. After a very stressful day in the Neurological ICU he was moved to a stepdown trauma unit, and he was discharged on saturday afternoon.
He is home now and laid up on the couch. He has a broken collar bone, and some stitches on his leg, but he is ALIVE and was very close to not being. For those who I'm not in contact with every day, I just wanted to get the word out. He's having a hard time adjusting to the pain, so visits, phone calls, comments etcc....are EXTREMELY welcome.
Right now he's passed out on the couch with some pain killers and muscle relaxers. And to all those who were aware and kept calling to check on him thank you very much and we love you all.
It's going to be a very rough couple of months for him, but we will be around. Thanks guys, take care.
excited
aggravated
betrayed
