Wanna Talk Politics.....BITCHES!!!
Current mood: argumentative
Category: News and Politics

So is it me?!? Are you SERIOUSLY telling me I am the ONLY person in the United States who has had it up to HERE (visualize me holding my hand up to about say my nose) with these outrageous fuel prices?!? But you know, maybe it is us who are to blame for these prices. I mean, we did do a few bone headed moves over the past few years.

1. We voted a President (Trust me, I am not proud of my voting moves either.) into office who Big Oil has in the back pocket, why? Well, because he is Big Oil. But hey, we knew this and we still voted the man into office.

2. We drive around in gas guzzling vehicles and rather than toss in 10-20 bucks every other day, we would rather spout out the words "Fill Er Up." (A Phrase I have no said in over a month mind you.)

3. We STILL buy Oil from Exxon/Mobil. Are you EFFIN Kidding me people?!? Seriously. These are the same assholes who get brought up to capital hill and when asked why they are milking us dry and why they are hurting our pockets and making things SO rough on the American Public. The Exxon/Mobil President replies how?!? Yes, I will take "Life is hard" Alex for 500.

Oh, and JUST wait, we have yet to get to the part where ALL the Actors in the U.S. start telling US how WE should vote. How about THIS, how about YOU trade in your BIG ASS cars and start conserving fuel. then MAYBE I will vote for who you endorse. I mean, hey, you SHOULD be telling me who to vote for since you know. You know what it feels like to have 30 bucks in your bank account and you have to run to the store to pick up a gallon of milk and you realize you might not have enough gas to make it to the store, then back and forth to work the next day, and any other errands plus BUY the milk on said 30 bucks. You know cause 20 bucks only gives me a half a tank of gas and I use a quarter tank to get back and forth to work.

I dont know, I just feel betrayed lately. Like here is Obama, and here is McCain (Please, is this REALLY my only options to vote for in November?) and they are running around the country for the past year say what they will do IF they are elected President. But wait, arent they Congressmen and Senators?!? Arent they the ones who ALSO propose bills? But I have to vote them into office BEFORE they will do anything?!?

Do you clowns realize the cost of a barrel of oil spiked up 10 dollars on Friday? Ok, so let me understand this...PLEASE!! The two days before the Spike, the price of Oil dropped to like 121 dollars a barrel. When it dropped, the Oil experts said "Oh well, the price of gas wont fall yet because it is still leveling off and Oil companies are trying to figure some things out." Hmmm, what are they trying to figure out? Where to lube us before the fuck us?

But wait, thats not the point is it? Not really, my point is, Oil drops to 121 a barrel and gas stands still, doesnt budge at ALL. Infact it went up in those two days. Now, you would THINK, ok, well now it spiked on Friday, BUT if what the experts say is true Gas wont spike because its a slow process right? Wrong, remember people whats right is wrong and whats wrong is right. Fuel will go up fast and fall slow.

And in ALL of this, where are our elected officials? Hmm, they are bringing Big Oil up to Washington and actually excepting answers like, "Life is Hard". They are bringing Roger Clemens up to Capital Hill and trying to figure out if he took a needle in the ass while we are taking a gas nozzle to the ass. You got Arlen Spector ACTUALLY trying to see if the Philadelphia Eagles for robbed out of a Super Bowl win by the whole Patriots "Spy-Gate" scandal. No offense sir? But I have watched the Eagles play LONG enough to assure you that if the Patriots didnt decipher their defensive schemes with video tape? The Eagles would have choked anyway. Its what they do.

And again, No Offense to anyone, but I would prefer Senators would use their time on Capital Hill to talk about how they are going to fix the Oil Crisis and get the cost of a box of Fruit Loops back under 4 dollars than hear them cry about Ted Kennedy's brain tumor. Bottom line is there are MANY people out there with a brain tumor and no one gives a fuck about them so why do I need to care about this guy. I mean the man let a woman drown for petes sake. And I am sorry, but if that was me or you? I would be cooped up in a cell block not worrying about the price of gas right now. I would be wondering if Bubba is gonna make me his bitch tonight or tomorrow night.

And REALLY is the media so concerned about Obama ditching them so he could have a private meeting with Hillary? Did they REALLY bitch and moan about that? You are getting paid to travel the fucking country and write stories about this motherfucker who wont do shit for us UNLESS we vote him President. And the ONLY think you have to bitch about is being flown off to Chicago and not being able to wait behind to be with Obama?

I dont know people, maybe it is just me. But I feel as though we have just become so fucking complacent as of late that we just dont give a shit what these politicians are doing for us. Or what they arent doing should be the proper term there.

I mean, look at New Jersey here. What is on the front page of the paper? Is it that our state still doesnt have a budget and that our fucked up Governor who would rather campaign for Hillary. Oh wait, hes on the Obama wagon now. Anyway, he would rather campaign then get New Jersey straight. He would rather hide emails between himself and his ex girlfriend who was a President of a big company who was landing all kinds of government jobs after he became Governor. He would rather say the state should have to go to the people before it borrows any money then tries to borrow 2.5 billions dollars without asking the people in a referendum vote. He would rather say that the state is broke and we can not spend anymore money, then go and give 600,000 dollars to bring a California company in to do its research in New Jersey. Oh, right and that was AFTER the people voted the funding down.

Is that on the front page? Not typically, whats the most important issue in New Jersey? The day to day process of our Gay Ex-Governor and how much money he has to pay he wife who he is divorcing. Believe me people. I am no where near smart enough to make this non-sense up.

My point? There is no point. I just wanted to vent out some frustrations and see if I am the only one who feels the same.

Truthfully, lets start voting with our heads people. First, by actually voting. And second for voting for the person who is BEST qualified for the job. No more voting Party lines. When you walk in that voting hall, and they say "Republican or Democrat?" You say American. And vote for the person who will help America and not their Party...

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Its all about going RETRO BITCHES!!! (Volume 1, Article 40)
Current mood: argumentative
Category: Blogging

-- WOW, how ya like DAT shiut?!?! Coming back like a vengeance and not skipping a freakin BEAT!! Thats right, I went away for a little while. Needed to recharge the ole batteries. Besides that I was getting tired of rehashing the same damn targets week in and week out. Plus, I wanted to make sure the MASSES missed a brotha yanno? But since no one did I felt the urge to comeback anyway!!

--So its 2008 and rather than it a new year, new ways its just the same old shiut as its ever been. Am I wrong? I mean, we have an election in 2008, but the Democrats wanna get the ball rolling in 2007. I guess they need the extra time to get people talking about them. But is it me? Or would you rather tell ALL the canidates you suck monkey balls just for shits and giggles and you have YET to say anything to make me vote for you? No? Its just me? Heh...go figure!!

-- The JOKER is DEAD!! Wow, talk about your shockers. I about died when my boy Jimbo called to tell me. I mean, here is the guy who initially I thought was bringing Broke back Batman to the screen. Yet when the trailers and teasers were released by Warner Brothers I realized this sum-a-bitch is gonna make Jack Nicholson's Joker look like Ronald McDonald. I mean, WHO among you didnt get chills hearing Heath as the Joker utter the words "Why so serious?" If you didnt get out from the rock you are hidden under and prepare to see some seriously disturbed movie magic. Cause THAT my friends is exactly what Heath brought to the table...RIP Heath!!

-- So who else has found themselves addicted to the Wii? I havent played Video games this much since I was in high school. And trust me I feel like a TOTAL tool even making that statement. But if you get one, trust me. You will be hooked on that shiut like a meth addict.

-- I REALLY do not get Britney Spears handlers. I mean, why do you set this girl up for trouble. You KNOW as a Lawyer there is NO WAY in hell a Judge will grant her visitation rights in her present situation. YET you file for them anyway? So whats the verdict Johnny Cochran? SAME AS EVERYONE IN AMERICA EXPECTED!! And how will THAT verdict get her better? How about tell the girl to get better THEN worry about the kids!! Or better yet, how about you get your head out of your asses and TRY to get this girl better already!!

-- Back on Heath really quick. WTF is up with the Church that wants/wanted to protest his funeral? Why because the dude plowed another dude in a movie once a couple years ago? Come on people, arent you SUPPOSED to be Christians?!?! Heh, you know CHRIST LIKE?!?! Hmmm, funny, when was the last time Jesus Christ went to a funeral with signs and marched and chanted, "HE PHUCKED JAKE...BURN HIM ON A STAKE!!" I mean lets get serious for a second people. It was a movie, if you didnt wanna see it ou didnt have to see it. (I was against it, I just didnt watch it, no harm no foul) And if you hate Heath for what he did, how about some compassion for his FAMILY!! The ones who will SEE the protest and the ones it will hurt? You know, cause the GUY you are protesting? He's kinda dead, he wont see it!!

-- So Oprah came out in support of Obama. Heh, there was a shocker. Newsflash Obama. The celebrity support didnt help John Kerry. Dont fall into the same traps.

-- So the state of New Jersey has eliminated the death penalty. Good Job JON!!! (Corzine for those who dont know.) So WE the people of Jersey go from a Turd smuggle Governor to a half retarded Governor. People, hows THIS. LET us take care of the NON criminal residents of New Jersey BEFORE you worry about those who are locked up anyway. And here ya go, lets save the state more money by taking a guy, tossing him in jail for life, and THEN feed, cloth and provide a roof over his head forever. But HERE my friends is the REAL kick to the nuts. Ok, so you NEVER used the option anyway. I mean, it was YEARS since the last time Jersey killed someone. But lets just take THAT option off the table and let the killers know. You can KILL in Jersey and all we will do is give you a bed and food for the rest of your life. BIG DEAL!!! At least the threat of death kept some people from doing severe shiut!!

-- Jillian Grace says David Spade knocked her up. THEN on Howard Stern he and Artie Lange are TRYING to defend Spade. Look, nothing against Stern and Lange but guys, Spade is 46. If you dont know by now that when a little boy puts his pee pee in a lil girls thingie. And if they dont cover that said pee pee that in 9 months the lil girl could have a little baby. WELL, then the MOTHERF$KER gets what he deserves for being 1. A dumbass 2. A jackass!! And here is the thing, Spade who can get BOAT loads of poontang should be smart enough to cover his twig for the simple fact that A man CAN live with a baby, but he can NOT live with AIDS. So how about being a little safe cause she may look clean, but that doesnt mean she is. Only a test proves THAT!!! And if he did it without a condom with her....Oh what the hell, why do I waste my breath, he obviously didnt listen to his 10th grade health teacher, he aint gonna listen to a fat f$k with a keyboard!!!

-- Simple fact here...When a cat licks his balls? He is cleaning himself. When a dog licks his balls? He's getting off. I dont know, just a well thought of conclusion cause dogs dont lick to clean themselves like cats do. And that thought actually makes me a lil queezy!!

-- Ok, so that shiut is gonna wrap it up for this week. Huh?!?! What does going Retro have to do with this weeks blog?!? RETRO means to go back, re do again. Ummm, hence me going back to the BITCHES BLOG!!! Get it?!?! Damn Cunt-Spacklers, I gotta teach you all everything?!?!? Speaking of? That was a new word!! Dont steal muh shiut!! Not sure when I'll be back....BUT SEE ME LATER BITCHES!!!!

Currently playing : Wii Play with Wii Remote Release date: 13 February, 2007

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Super Bad is Super Funny BITCHES! (Volume 1, Article 39)
Category: Blogging

-- So whats up motherfuckers and motherfuckettes?!? Yes, its the same ole shit different day. But grab those tampons and tape em in cause the shiut is about to get messy!!!

-- So Brad Garrett slapped a camera man from TMZ.com. You know, we are in a seriously FUCKED society today when an actor is leaving a restuarant after dinner and as he is walking to his car he is surrounded by a pack of fucking hyena's with cameras. So Garrett is being a nice guy and is talking to the cameramen. (Which mind you he doesn't HAVE to do.) Then one of them starts jaw jakking him and calling him names. So he gets up and hits one of the cameras. So it was the wrong one. You know what? Get a real fucking job and not be a parasite who follows actors around town and maybe shit like this wouldn't happen. Fucking pussy!!

-- So who saw Super Bad this weekend?!? Let me tell you, I have not laughed that hard while at a movie in sometime. That fucking things was unreal. I will more then likely have to go back and see it again because I missed more than one thing from laughing so hard. Good shit people. VERY good shit indeed!!

-- So Obama got some advice this week from a woman supporter. She told him not go get into pissing contests with Hillary and mudsling. Me?!? I just wish he would say what he REALLY feels about her. I mean just call the bitch a Cunt already!! Check that, at the next debate give her a little something like this, "Excuse me Mrs Clinton? You are criticizing my ideas on how to defend the United States from terrorists?!? This coming from a CUNT who cant not even defend her family from a rolley polley whore who wanted nothing more than to have Billy bust a nut on her dress?!?" NOW, if Obama did that and I assure you he would get my vote!!

-- So a recent study showed that Abraham Lincoln in fact may have had a face defect. That's right seems people studied two laser scans of life masks...wha?!? Oh, you dont give a flying fuck about any defects ole Honest Abe had? Well, trust me people, neither do I. But it seems someone cared enough to waste their life about it. Fuck it...

-- So how do you catch your husband cheating on you? Well, you can either smell his cock when he comes home at night and see if you can get a scent of another nasty cunt's juice on his meat stick. OR, you can just check the dumbfucks E-Z Pass bills and see where he was REALLY at last month when he told you he was over at Lances house playing PlayStation 3.

-- So hear about the Farm in Australia who is warning not to get caught up in an Internet love affair because he was scammed and when he went to meet his love interest it turned out to be a gang who held him hostage?!? Dude, since when does a farm have time to fuck around on the Internet. His ass should be knee deep in horse shit to be worried about meeting some bitch in another country for some ass. But here is the problem people. How fucking dumb are you to travel to another fucking country and not even talk to the bitch on the phone before you fly out. Simple fucking numb nut!!!

-- So a guy brings his mommy into court to act like she is his wifey but the bitch looked to old so the court questioned her on it. Come the fuck ON people. What redneck motherfuckers even had the balls big enough to even TRY this shit?!? Oh, some fucker from Indiana?!? Hmmm, that explains it!!

-- So Paris is BACK in the motherfucking news!! This time not because she was sucking cock on a night vision film, or not because she was driving around sloshed the fuck up. This time because of some retarded assed clothing line she created!! God will this fucking douche of a bag EVER just go away?!? PLEASE SOMEONE PLUG THAT GOT DAMN CLOCK BACK IN SO HER 15 MINUTES WILL BE OVER ALREADY!! SHIT!!

-- A monkey in a Mississippi zoo picked the locks on his cage yet again thus freeing himself from his caged home. What do we learn from this people?!? That in Mississippi a monkey is 10 times smarter then the rednecks there. Fucking hillbillies should be embarrassed to even report the shit to the media. "Hey Cletus, that there monkey out smarted us again. Shucks he done picked the lock an got out again." I dont know about ya'll, but this sounds like the fucking plot week in and week out on the Dukes of Hazard.

-- Ok, so "The Duct Tape Bandit"?!? Good fucking GAWD people. A guy actually wrapped his fucking head up wth duct tape. Goes into a liquor store to steal money? And gets his ASS kicked by the guy working the register and will now go to fucking jail with bail set at 250,000 dollars?!? What?!? He is from Kentucky?!? Well there you go. See what happens when you get tired of fucking Isabella the family Sheep and go out and try something different?!? Listen, if you are in Kentucky, you just keep fucking the farm animals and don't go trying something dumb like wrapping your head with duct tape to conceal your identity!! Sheesh...

-- Alright, well that about does shit for me this week. I am out so see my laytor BITCHES!!!

** All commentaries are not the expressed views of MySpace or that dude Tom. But of the writer himself...yanno Dat Nigga Bobby Pauls....If you dont like what you read and would like to file a complaint with our legal department; they can be reached by phone at 1800-EATADIC (328-2342) or via mail at 69 Swallow-A-Cock Lane, Go To Hell, North Dakota 08435 (Or whatever their fucking zip code is)

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Brokeback Batman My ASS BITCHES!!! (Volume 1, Article 38)
Current mood: crappy
Category: Blogging

8-13-07

-- Ah, so here we are. Yes, back at it once again. As I hack away on these little silver keys. Yes, silver, maybe because I have a silver laptop and you dont. Yes, thats also because I am much cooler than you!!

-- So what the fuck is up with Steve Graham? Who is that you ask? Well thats the fucking 55 year old man from Pittsburgh, Kansas who has been living in his car since 2000. He was put out of the house by his wife since they have been having problems. His wife apparently wont let him back in the house till he finds a job. Thus now the neighbors are upset because they cant use their backyards because the ole bag is using his backyard as a toilet, playing music loud, etc. Ok, we get it, but people, what the FUCK!! This dude cant find a job in the past 7 years?!? Are you shitting me?!? Go the fuck to McDonalds man, they will hire any fucking miscreant under the sun.

-- Then again, talking about McDonalds. Seems the first McDonalds in Calcutta, India blew up. Well, the air conditioner exploded. Maybe it was the God's. Dont those fuckers worship Cows?!? Goes to show ya dont mess with the Gods fuckers!!

-- Ok, so Brokeback Batman "The Dark Knight" will NOT be. Anyone who is ANYONE has seen what Heath Ledger will look like as the next Joker. And the term, "Wait'll they get a load of me." Has NEVER fitted so fucking perfectly. Ledgers version of The Clown Prince of Crime has got EVER true Batman fan on their feet screaming give me more. This motherfucker is going to be bar none the BEST Superhero flick of all time. Spidey is going down BITCHES!!

-- Michael Vick can SUCK MY DICK...Thats right...I said it!!

-- Barry Bonds is talking retirement. Of course he wants to get to 3,000 hits and win a championship. Problem is Barry you cant win a championship alone and no one wants to fucking play with you. You ran any decent talent out of San Fransisco the past 10 years and there is no sign of anyone coming to save the Giants. Well, thats not true, you will. Once you leave the team and they can use your salary on a younger faster team. I cant wait till AROD SHATTERS Bonds record, trust me, it will happen, and he didnt need all the juice in San Fran to do it.

-- Why do I like NASCAR?!? Why do I like Kevin Harvick in NASCAR?!? Watch him get in another drivers face yesterday after thus said driver wrecked him out of the race and then you will know why. Harvick is EXACTLY what NASCAR needs. He isnt this politically correct cookie cutter driver. He says whats on his mind and will get in your face if he feels you have wronged him. Thats what the FUCK Im talking bout!!

-- 50 Cent said he would quit if Kanye sells more records than him when both artists albums debut on September 11th. I personally think Kanye is a fucking piece of shit!! A guy who talks shit and because he is black people are afraid to challenge him on it. What am I referring to? Him calling George Bush a racist and saying he doesnt like Black people after hurricane Katrina. Dixie Chicks saying something about Bush they lose their careers. Kanye does it and no one says boo. So for me? Id love to see 50 bury Kanye's faggot ass. But I promise you this. Someones album will move. Both albums will not debut the same day. Watch. One of the record labels will move one of the albums because of whatever reason, odds are Kanye will be a little cunt and move his shit.

-- Man, what the fuck happened? How did it turn out that K-Fed was the sane one in his marriage to Britney. And everyone thought HE was the white trash motherfucker who was bringing her down?!?

-- Ellen Pompeo lashes out at the media because they accuse her of being anorexic. Hmmm, so the Greys star doesnt have an eating disorder? You mean the media got something wrong??!? Oh MY!!! You know, if an female celeb it skinny, shes got an eating disorder. If shes a little heavy shes a cow. What the fuck is wrong with this society?!?

-- Most Wrestlers are falling off the face of the planet. (Former WWE star Crush of tag team Demolition was found dead today) And a guy accused of murder is becoming a wrestler? Goes to show you anyone can become a wrestler as Pacman Jones joined up with TNA Wrestling this weekend. Yet he wasnt allowed to touch anyone by court order from an injuction from the Titans. Heh, guess they are worried he will doe this time rather then him killing someone else.

-- So who else thought that 300 was one of the most kick ass flicks of the year? Frank Miller is a bad motherfucker in the comic book world and his comics are now making some of the coolest flicks ever.

-- So is it me? Or did I serve up some weak sauce this week?

-- So who else is watching Big Brother 8? If I were on that show? Dick would be eating his own Dick right now. Cause any motherfucker who stands over my bed slamming pots together to wake me up in the middle of the night just to be a jerkoff would not only be a jerk off. But he would be ONE DEAD MOTHERFUCKER!!

-- Alright, Im done this week!! See me laytor BITCHES!!!

** All commentaries are not the expressed views of MySpace or that dude Tom. But of the writer himself...yanno Dat Nigga Bobby Pauls....If you dont like what you read and would like to file a complaint with our legal department; they can be reached by phone at 1800-EATADIC (328-2342) or via mail at 69 Swallow-A-Cock Lane, Go To Hell, North Dakota 08435 (Or whatever their fucking zip code is)

Currently watching : Batman Begins (Widescreen Edition) Release date: 18 October, 2005

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The MotherFUCKIN Saga Continues BITCHES!! (Volume 1, Article 37)
Current mood: crazy
Category: Blogging

-- Yeah, So I took a little 3 week sabbatical. Sometimes you need that shit just to recharge the old batteries. Besides, I needed you fookers to miss a nickOR just a little bit so when I made my return you would all ohhhhh and ahhhhh and the masses would once again cheer my praises...or some stupid shit like that. then again no one said a GOT damn word about my disappearance so I'm guessing deep down no one even gace a good FUCK!!

--  So guess Lindsey Lohan wanted to go an one up ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Paris? Yanno, one of those whatever you can do I can do better type deals? So lets not get caught with a DWI while our license is suspended lets throw in a lil coke for good measures. That's right...that's using the ole noggin on lack there of Lindsey.

-- Holy SHIT!! KEVIN SMITH will be writing and directing an episode of Heroes "Origins"?? My two favorite things colliding. Kevin Smith and the TV Show Heroes. NICE!!

-- Remember that cunt Lauren Hill? Yanno, the dumb bitch from the Fugees who had the world in the palm of her hand and said she would rather her kids starve than have white people buy her albums. Which it seems white people did, they stopped buy and guess what, she fell off the face of the earth for a good 10 years. But apparently the bitch is back. Recently at a concert she was having. She demanded NO white people were allowed to be Security at her concert. Nice, lets see Billy Joel try that and see the reaction from the NAACP. But that's just par for the course.

-- So did anyone else see Transformers yet? I will say this, when it was FIRST announced that the movie was being made I was like , "WHY?!" Then I head Spielberg and Michael Bay were on board to Produce and Direct the film respectively. And I said, "hmmm, maybe I'll check it out." Well I went this weekend, and when I left I was saying, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!" That movie was AMAZING!!! Probably the best Action film I have seen in sometime!!

-- So heard about the law crew who comes to your house and cuts your lawn in their bikinis? Ok, I see the potential initial appeal. Bikini clad bimbos shaking dat ass as they cut your grass. But come ON, any self respecting man knows shit doesn't look good on a hot day, and the grass starts to stick to you and shit. And really, what happens when the bitches cut a grass and the mower starts kicking back stones? Bitches are gonna be quitting, hell I won't even cut my grass in shorts. So more power to them!!

-- So the latest script Jessica Simpson got offered was for her to play a porn star. But Joe Simpson nixed the plan. First, with Jessica's acting skills she should BE a porn star, not being playing one. And its ok for Daddy to let his daughter wear a bikini and roll around on the hood of a car in a music video like she's giving the fucker a lap dance, while he watches and acts like he's about to bust a nut in his shorts, but not get nekkid in a movie role? That dude really creeps me to be honest; something about him just doesn't sit right with me!!

-- Did you see it?!? Did you SEE IT Happen?!? You know, Barry Bonds tying Hank Aaron for the all time home runs in Major League Baseball?!? I know, I don't give a fuck either. While most were watching Bonds tie Aaron? I was noticing A-Rod hit number 500 yesterday. Thus becoming the fastest player to ever hit 500. What's that mean? That means in about 5-6 years we will be watching A-Rod topple that fucking scumbag of a human being who not only is a dick face but is only still around because he was sticking needles in his ass to give him that little edge.

-- Yanno, just reflecting back to the whole Jessica Simpson thing. Should her pops REALLY be turning down ANY scripts that come her way?!?

-- So Eddie Murphy has admitted her is the Father of Scary Spices daughter. And now THAT isn't enough, she went from wanting to prove he was the father, to now she wants him to hold her daughter, and love her, and take care of her. Motherfucker just tell the man how much to make the check out for. Cause honestly? That's all you are looking for. If she GAVE a fuck about her child having a father. A. She would've made shit work with him in the first place. B. Wouldn't have gotten knocked the fuck up in the first place. My solution? Want your kid to see her daddy? Pop in Shrek and say, honey? See that Donkey? Well he is your daddy!!

-- Yanno, this whole fucking Michael Vick thing is a bunch of bullshit too. That motherfucker is guilty, there is NO way someone is living at one of your houses, has 46 pit bulls there, you come in from time to time to visit and you dont take notice? What the fuck did Vick think they were running a GOT damn Animal Shelter there?!? Besides THAT, IF his cousin was living in his house, where did this motherfucker get the money to buy all those dogs? Obviously he is sponging off of Vick for a crib, you telling me he cant afford a place to live but he can afford all those fucking dogs? Well, then again, when you aren't feeding the fucking things I guess the puppy chow bill wasn't all that bad now was it?

-- Ok, listen, I feel for those who died in the bridge collapse. I REALLY do, but you know what? I do NOT want to hear a list of every fucking bridge in the United States that is kinda weak now. Just fix the motherfuckers and tell the asshole reporters to shut their fucking mouths!!

-- This just in, Michael Vick is innocent. Well, at least that's what the NAACP is stating. Guys, you are crying for Peta to back off and give Vick his rights as a black man, motherfuckers what about the rights of those Dogs? They didn't ask to be tortured, beaten, and killed. They didn't ask to be forced to fight. Just because Vick donated a lot of money to your cause doesn't mean you go down with the motherfucker screaming for his innocence. Wanna know what the right thing to do is? Return his fucking check and say we do not agree with what the fuck face did and we are sorry. Then tell Vick? Take this money and invest in ALOT of K-Y cause you are gonna be needing it when Bubba tells you to get ready cause he is mounting you Doggy Style!!

-- Alright Bitches...that about wraps shit up on this part of the country. I'll be back next week, so be ready cause the second half of the year is gonna be crazier than the first half!! SEE MY LAYTOR BITCHES!!!

** All commentaries are not the expressed views of MySpace or that dude Tom. But of the writer himself...yanno Dat Nigga Bobby Pauls....If you dont like what you read and would like to file a complaint with our legal department; they can be reached by phone at 1800-EATADIC (328-2342) or via mail at 69 Swallow-A-Cock Lane, Go To Hell, North Dakota 08435 (Or whatever their fucking zip code is)

Currently watching : 300 (Widescreen Two-Disc Special Edition) Release date: 31 July, 2007

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Who Wants A Shot At The Title BITCHES?!? (Volume 1, Article 36)
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Blogging

-- Alright, lets get this motherfugger ROLLING!! I am a little behind the 8 ball this week. Also wanna apologize to those who tried to read this shit last week and couldnt because I had set my profile to private. Apparently a few useless and childish motherfuckers just couldnt get enough of me and felt they could use my stuff against me...BUT I just said fuck em. I could careless what anyone thinks about me and what I do!!

-- So whats up with Cartoons today?!? You know, kids today just have no fucking clue what they are missing. I mean, when we were kids we had Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Yogi Bear, The Smurfs, GI Joe, The Transformers, Motherfucking HE-MAN!!!. The fucking list goes ON!! Today they have a bunch of retarded Japanese cartoons dubbed into english. Whats that shit all about? Have American cartoonists gotten so GOT DAYUM lazy they cant even come up with a good cartoon these days?

-- Heh, so the condom company Durex is asking Australians to apply for a new job. Its a job you will not be paid for. But hey, if you are looking for a job then I says join and join now!! What is it you ask?!? NO you are not being asked to package condoms. You are being asked to TEST CONDOMS!!! For the MOTHERFUCKING LOVE OF ALA!!! What?!? Where the fuck do I sign up for THIS job?!? For kids who grew up wanting to be a Fireman or a Police Officer I say your new dream job has ARRIVED!! "Billy? What do you want to be when you grow up?!? I wanna be a condom tester Mrs Starr!!"

-- So Clay Aiken was back in the news this weekend. Now, not another guy came out of the proverbial closet this week claim Clay fisted him!! Now, this was a woman on a airplane who Clay had his foot resting on her arm rest. The two began to argue and then the woman shoved him!! Now, look, I am all about letting a guy suck a dick if he wants and keeping hush hush about it. But NOTHING screams "I suck cock" like getting into a cat fight over a damn arm rest!!

-- So the Spice Girls are BACK!! YEEEEEAAAA, I mean, who gives a FUCK!!

-- So the running of the bulls kicked off this weekend in Spain. Oh you know that event where all those retarded motherfuckers go to allow a one ton animal with horns chase them down the street? You know, why arent Terrorist Organizations blowing shit up in Spain? Oh right, cause you cant scare motherfuckers who lets a fucking bull chase them down the fucking streets!!

-- So rumor has it critics are saying the new Rambo is too "gory"?!? Have you fuck nuts seen Saw 3 or Hostel?!?

-- So the Pope changes the views of the Catholic Church and Jews and Liberals are up in arms. Whats wrong? The new Pope getting to strict for you all? Listen people, churches are SUPPOSED to be more strict then man laws. If you dont like it go join one of those fucked up churches like the one they let cock sucking governor Jim McGreevey become a priest. THAT is the one Jews and Liberals should be pissed at. Oh wait, Liberals are ALL about guys sucking off guys, my bad!!

-- Wanna talk about a getting a hard on quicker than a 15 year old boy who just found out the head cheerleader wants his cock in her? I just caught a glimpse of Heath Ledger in his Joker garb for the new Batman flick (The Dark Knight)!! WOW...I think I just squirted in my boxers!! Ummm, yeah, confirmation, I DEFINATELY did!!

-- 10 masked boys were doing some serious damage in the projects of Florida this week. They broke into an apartment, they gang raped a woman and made her son join in then kicked his ass. People, what in the FUCK is wrong with kids?!? When I was 14 years old I was sitting on my front porch talking about who would win a fight between Wolverine and Batman (Its Batman motherfuckers!!) not plotting on how to gang rape the neighbors wife!! These fuckin kids today dont need time out!! What they fuckin need is their heads cracked the fuck in!!

-- So Barry Bonds one got Booed Saturday in St. Louis. Thus being stuck at 751 home runs. Awwe poor baby, go shove another needle in your ass and leave us the fuck alone!!

-- So Britney Spears accidentally exposed herself yet again. She was wearing a short skirt, it rode up a bit and shows the bottom of her ass. Ok, here is the fucked up situation. People who say, "Oh, shes a celeb, she asked for this when she started making records." People, NO ONE asks for this. You have a dream to sing and make records, not have every embarrassing moment showed off to the world. Yet the problem isnt the photographers who are classless and will sell their mothers heads for a dollar. Its WE the people who buy the rag magazines and go search for this bullshit gossip. We are becoming a seriously sickening society.

-- A 5 year old pinned down a rabid fox at a barbeque!! Why? Because he wanted to protect his little brother. Now me?!? If this was me?!? Sorry bro, every kid for himself. Your ass is about to get eaten cause I am GONE!! I dont know who is more fucking crazy, the rabid fox or this motherfucking kid!! Who grabs a fox by the throat and tackles it to the ground at 5? See people, more evidence our youth are a bunch of fucking loons!!

-- Well, that wraps this shit up this week. Ive had enough of this stupid shit for one week!! Catch me laytor BITCHES!!

Currently watching : One Tree Hill - The Complete First Season Release date: 25 January, 2005

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Whats a "BJ" BITCHES?!?!? (Volume 1, Article 33)
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Blogging

6-17-07

-- Yes, here we go. We are off. Well, I am typing this shit and you are reading the same shit I typed so I am using the term "we" very loosely. But you get the point here right? Good. OK RELAX I am getting to the jist of all this...

-- So what can fuck up a date? How about a seventy year old couple coming and sitting right the fuck next to you and smelling all old and moth ballish? Would that fuck it up? Naaah, you can make the best of THAT. But lets say you were at, say the movie "Knocked Up". And that very same couple is sitting next to you. And on the screen they are talking about a "BJ". Ok, we all know what that is right?!? WRONG. This motherfucker sitting next to me asks his wife "Whats a BJ?!?" But in that old man whisper, you know the one where they think they are whispering but they are so fucking NOT!! Then the kicker? She tells him, "Its a Blow Job" again, in a non whisper. I mean, they did attempt to whisper so they should get points for that. But talk about a fucking buzz kill moment....

-- Is it SO?!? The one of the FEW to actually make it off of American Idol with a legit career might actually be hitting the wall?!? Seems Kelly Clarkson scrapped her Summer Tour this year due to poor ticket sales. Hmmm, maybe her shitty singing performance on the finale this year of American Idol didnt help things. But hey what do I know.

--Yippie Kiya Motherfuckers!! Thats right, the newest installment of Die Hard is coming soon. Yes, Im sure you all know this. But why am I all amped up over it?!? No, FUCK John McClain...Its all bout KEVIN SMITH BITCHES!! Thats right, Kevin Smith is IN the next Die Hard movie playing some computer geek. Im assuming its a small role but hey anytime I can go all full support of Kevin you know I am SO there!! SO SUPPORT HIM MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Please?!?

Paris is In and Out and In BITCHES!! (Volume 1, Article 32)
Current mood: bored
Category: Blogging

Currently watching : The O.C. - The Complete Second Season Release date: 23 August, 2005

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Going Back to The Well BITCHES!!! (Volume 1, Article 31)
Current mood: crazy
Category: Blogging

6-3-07

-- So once again. We are playing our parts in this wonderful little half assed game we play. You know, I sit here and act like I am some important person who has an opinion on anything and everything. And you play the role of the uninterested reader who is pretty much wasting their time with my un-ed-u-muh-cated nonsense. See, but we both play our roles to perfection. So lets stop wasting each others time and move this shit on. Right my Bitches?!?

-- So Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and his wife Dani have filed for Divorce. He made his announcement in People magazine. Yet rather than it being some nasty,dirty media battle. The Rock and Dani are parting ways civilized. As well they will continue to do business ventures with one another as well as raise their daughter together. NOW, say what you will about Wrestlers. Or Hollywood actors and such, but EVERYONE needs to take a page out of The Rocks book and see how things can go sour but remain civil. That said, next week shit will hit the fan between these two and I will be back here eating my words. But for now...fuck it...just go with it!!

-- In the boat of one STUPID bitch. We find ourselves going back to the well once more. Oh Paris. What the fuck will I do when you go to jail? You have just been so much inspiration to my little off kilter rants. You have supplied me with so much fucking ammo over the past 6 months I have no clue who I will talk about when you go. More than likely one of your asshole yet just a dumb as you fucking are girlfriends. BUT, with that said, apparently Paris is walking into a hornets nest and doesn't even see it coming. Well, now she does because an "inmate" who was just released has stated that the other prisoners are mad because the heiress is having special treatment already given to her. How? Well apparently they are making room for Paris in the already over populated jail. Bottom line? Paris is getting her ass violated the only question is it on day 1? or day 23? And if we are lucky a guard will have his trusty nightvision-esque video equiptment along with him at work that day so we can all revisit "One Night In Paris." I dont know, but maybe if a girl fucks Paris she wont be such a limp ass boring lay like she was in her first dabble in the porn industry.

-- So 4 men were thwarted (wow, how do you like THAT word?) trying to blow up JFK airport. These fuckers don't need REAL religion. What they need is some REAL pussy!! Cause ask any fucking guy in the world. When you are getting laid the LAST thing you want to think about is suicide missions and killing. You are just thinking about when you are gonna get your next nut.

-- The FDA is warning that toothpaste made in China maybe harmful as it is using some chemical used in antifreeze to be the "thickening agent" for the toothpaste. China is blowing off the warnings but the FDA is stating it is worried as the chemicals may be harmful. Hmmm, the FDA? Heh, aren't these the same people who make it legal for drug companies to produce a little pill that will make a guys cock hard enough to break through a brick wall for 4 hours at a time? Yeah, lets jump right in and listen to them shall we?

-- So a manager of a Miami Wendy's was shot this week. Why? No, no, not what you are thinking. It had nothing to do with a man wanting to steal money or a couple of them delicious Frosty's. Seems the guy wanted more "chili sauce". He was given two and wanted ten packets. The employee told him they were only allowed to give two packets per order, but gave the man ten to make him happy. Since we ALL know the customer is always right. So then the man demanded more packets. The employee called for the manager. When he came out the man shot him in the arm a few times. Imagine that shit, getting bullshit pay to baby sit a bunch of white trash teenagers and what do you get for your troubles? A fuckin bullet in the arm. NICE!! Where do I get an application at?

-- A man in Israel tackled a Leopard to the ground and held it down for 20 minutes in his underwear and a t shirt. Why? Because the Leopard leapt through his window and was in the bed of his family. Wow, that takes balls cause I'm telling you right now, if that was my family? I'm running for the door and those are some dead motherfuckers. Women and children first? Fuck you, not when a Leopard is in the mix, my ass is GONE!!

-- I want someone ONE day to just follow around a photographer. Find out he is cheating on HIS wife, and then without going to them or their spouse first or anything just flash the pictures on the front page of the newspaper. You know, JUST because someone is a celebrity does NOT give the media the right to out them for the world to see and for the family to be run through the mud with them. I am speaking of A-ROD. Ok, so it looks like he is cheating on his wife. But she is going to be devastated enough about it does the world need to be the first to fucking know? Or can she find out and be devastated alone for awhile before the media finds a way to make their buck off of it first. What in the fuck ever happened to journalistic integrity?

-- A State Trooper in Tennessee pulled over a porn star. He found drugs on her. So what does he do? He writes her a ticket for the traffic violation. He arrests her for the drugs and locks her up...Huh?!? He didn't?!? Oh wait, that's right. He pulled her over, found the drugs then he proceeded to look up her porn sites on his laptop in the patrol car. He tossed the drugs for her, and then just for shits and giggles he had her suck him off to get herself off as well as him. See now, that? That is who I want to be serving and protecting me. Don't get me wrong, I am ALL about getting a blow job from time to time, but people when you are a cop? And there might be a REAL crime you need to be investigating? Or how about arresting the bitch you have pulled over with the drugs? THAT isnt the time to get a little head. Guess someone forgot to explain this to Barney Fief when he was attending his Police Academy.

-- Jim, what the fuck is up on the baby front? Did Mandy pop yet or what?

-- So a few students wont be getting their diplomas until they serve 8 hours of community service. Why? What the fuck did these cocksucking miscreants do you ask? Well they signed contracts that stated they as well as their family will act very civil and proper during the graduation ceremonies. And now you are like, "WTF did they do? Riot and shit?" Get this, its WORSE...they CHEERED for their kids when their names were called. That's right, they CHEERED!! Those no good motherfuckers, can you imagine the NERVE of them? THAT my friends takes a serious amount of balls to do something like CHEER at a graduation ceremony.

-- Best looking comedy coming out?!? "The Game Plan" With "The Rock". Seriously, go to youtube and check the shit out. Its gonna be funny as balls!! Well, balls aren't funny, but if they were that is how funny this movie would be.

-- Aiight, Im out. I had enough typing for one day. See me laytor BITCHES!!!



** All commentaries are not the expressed views of MySpace or that dude Tom. But of the writer himself...yanno Dat Nigga Bobby Pauls....If you dont like what you read and would like to file a complaint with our legal department; they can be reached by phone at 1800-EATADIC (328-2342) or via mail at 69 Swallow-A-Cock Lane, Go To Hell, North Dakota 08435 (Or whatever their fucking zip code is)

Currently watching : One Tree Hill - The Complete Third Season Release date: 26 September, 2006

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Its 10 pm Do You Know Where The Kids Are BITCHES?!? (volume 1, article 30)
Current mood: cranky
Category: Blogging

5-27-07

-- So DO you know where the kiddies are BITCHES?!? If you don't then you are fucked, if you do then get there asses to bed cause shits about to get a lil reckless around these parts...Well, maybe not reckless per say but I assure you, I might come off a bit more offensive then usual...Or not...time will tell...

-- So Lindsey Lohan just got her stupid ass arrested and charged with a DUI. Here is what I JUST do not get people. You have all kinds of money and you can get a fucking cab or hire a driver to drive your intoxicated ass home? I mean lets not factor in the fact she's underage and shouldn't be fucked up anyway. BUT I'm a realist and we all have gotten fucked up once or twice in the younger years of our lives. The point of it all is these rich bitches Paris, Lindsey, Nicole are so fucking dumb they actually think its cool to go out and get fucked up and drive around town. Hey maybe if Paris is lucky her and Lindsey will be cell mates then she wont be so fuckin lonely....oh right, they aren't even friends are they?!? Oh well...

-- Speaking of Paris. Heard of a survey that said 95% of those polled don't think she should get off from going to jail. I admit I am one of those among the 95%. Not because she is [[writers warning, might wanna eye muff it here girls, bout to go off the verbal deep end]] a rich, airheaded, retarded cunt. Because she cant even take a fucking minute and apologize and ADMIT that she fucked up. NOOOO, Not Cunt face Paris, her publicist didn't tell her. What the fuck ever. Hope ya enjoy getting bent over the toilet and having three girls fuck ya with a broom stick.

-- Elizabeth Hasselbeck...This girl I have liked ever since Survivor 2 the Austrailian Outback. I like her even more now. Why? Well she finally stood up to the bus-headed lesbian Rosie. Yes folks she didn't sit there idle like, while Rosie bashed her. Little Elizabeth finally told that douche of a bag how the fuck it is. I never gave a fuck about the View. Still don't give a fuck about the View. I just know since Rosie came on board its all I fucking hear about is the View and I just want the View to go the fuck AWAY already!!

-- I want to make a public apology. I made a HUGE fucking mistake. I don't usually admit my mistakes in a public fashion as such but here it goes...I am SO fucking Sorry for voting for Sanjaya people. Why? Because this fucking kid REALLY thinks he is a fucking star. He has NO concept it was all a goof to vote for the WORST, not the best. I mean even American Idol THINKS he is a star. I mean they trump him up like "HERE IS THE GREATEST POP STAR SINCE MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON!!" (No, Not Michael now. I mean Michael pre-pee pee touchier. You know, the King of Pop Michael. Not the King of Pre-K Michael. I mean the Michael who wore one glove as a fashion statement not the one who wears it to keep lil boy jizz off his hands so he doesnt get any DNA on him...Oh you get the point!!) I mean, I almost hope American Idol puts a San-GINA CD out just so Sandy McSandNickOR will be able to see first hand he AB-SO-FUCKING-LUTELY-SUCKS more donkey dick then a beastialty porn star does on a good day!! Then again, William Hung sold a shitload of CDs didnt he?

-- Lets talk about petty bullshit news...Michael Vick was APPARENTLY at a Dogfight in 2000. So the fuck WHAT!! People, does the fucking media...does anyone even fucking realize we are in a GOT damn war?!? Does anyone in the media even remember Osama Bin Laden is STILL at large?!? So my point? I think in the year 2007? There are more important things to worry about than if a fucking hack quarterback who has the potential to be a great quarterback was at a dog fight in motherfucker 2000!!

-- In a moment of "about fucking time" I wanted to point out that the news actually reported something positive out of Baghdad. Yes, turns out the United States did a raid of an al-Qaida hide out and set free 42 Iraqi prisoners. Now how long before the news starts talking shit about the military and our operations now. Cocksucking leaches!!

-- On a good note? Good job on that raid boys and girls of the U.S. Forces. See I realize that if it not for those very men and women I would not be able to sit here right this very second and hack away at these fucking keys like a derelict with an attitude problem like I do.

-- OH...MUH....GAWD....JESSICA SIMPSON MIGHT BE PREGGERS?!?....Who the FUCK cares!! I mean really people. And listen get some REAL facts. Why are the rumors floating?!? No not because Jessica was spotted buying a home pregnancy tests...No not because her doctor leaked the info...Why? Oh because in her new photos of being out and about her tits look bigger now then they did months ago...Gimme a FUCKING BREAK!! Go grasp straws else where fuckers!!

-- You wanna know what I can NOT stand about spring/summer?!? Cutting the motherfucking grass!! I went out yesterday and damn near died. Then again it doesnt help when you allow the shit to grow almost a foot high. BUT in MY defense I was away last weekend and missed my usual cut day of Saturday. BUT I did get it done this week and I am sure the neighbors are ecstatic about THAT shit. I know I am...

-- So Oprah is upset that her dad is writing a "tell all" book about her. Hmmm, well apparently Daddy needs to buy a thing or two and knows selling this book will get him that much needed dough. The think here is this. Maybe if Oprah passed a few duckets off to Pops rather than buying her entire audience cars or whatever other ways she enjoys to piss her money away then maybe Daddy Dearest wouldn't be writing the book at all...

-- George Burns once said "I'd rather fail at something I love then be successful at something I hate." But my question is this. What if you LOVE two things. And you become torn in which direction to go with it. My dilemma?!? Simple. I LOVE drawing "Ohio". I LOVED drawing "Pit Pass Comics". Which do I do? Ohio is a slow build. But I KNOW if I were to start doing Pit Pass Comics again it would only be as successful as it once was before. I also know I have a FAR greater chance of getting THAT comic picked up as opposed to ohio...Question is which do I dedicate my time to? I have no fucking clue!!

-- Ok, I talked enough bullshit this week...SEE MY LAYTOR BITCHES!!!


** All commentaries are not the expressed views of MySpace or that dude Tom. But of the writer himself...yanno Dat Nigga Bobby Pauls....If you dont like what you read and would like to file a complaint with our legal department; they can be reached by phone at 1800-EATADIC (328-2342) or via mail at 69 Swallow-A-Cock Lane, Go To Hell, North Dakota 08435 (Or whatever their fucking zip code is)

Currently listening : Timbaland Presents Shock Value By Timbaland Release date: 03 April, 2007

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