Job Urine Test

I've seen this before but it got away from me. Well, as luck would have it, I received it again today and I am determined to share this with everyone because I believe that the person who wrote this is on to something. If this principle was adopted by the government the national budget would be well on it's way to becoming balanced.   That's just my opinion. Highlight the dark area in order to read it and tell me what you think.
                       

I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB ... SO I AGREE 100%
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ASS, doing drugs, while I work . . .  Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all will pass it along, though . . .  Something has to change in this country -- and soon!!!!

Not only do I think the recipients of our tax money should pass a drug test to be eligible for benefits, I think they should be tested randomly just like the people on the jobs who pay the taxes that they receive. That's just my take on it!

Hmmmmm,

Bobby C

10:33 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

History Of The Middle Finger
Current mood: amused

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'


And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.

7:50 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

My New Doctor
Current mood: amused

On my last visit to my doctor, the following is the conversation that we had:



Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of
your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat
chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable products.




Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. In moderation!!!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If
you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.




Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
feel-good food around!



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' IS a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly
used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"



AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition
and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting
nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.



**** As with any diet or exercise plan, consult your own doctor before getting started. I pay my doctor to say what I want to hear.****

8:15 PM - 8 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

How To Handle Haters
Current mood: amused

A hater is someone that is jealous and envious and spends all their time
trying to make you look small so they can look tall.


When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters... That's why
you have to be careful who you share your blessings and your dreams with
because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed...


It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like
somebody else He would have given you what He gave them.


You don't know what people have gone through to get what they have... (The
problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they
don't know my story...) If the grass looks greener on the other side of the
fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too.


We've all got some haters among us:
Some people don't like it that you can


* Come to church
* Get your praise on
* Bless His Holy Name
* Haters don't want to see you happy
* Haters don't want to see you succeed
* Haters don't want you to get the victory


Most of our haters are people that are supposed to be on our side. How do
you handle the haters who you at least expect to have your guard up
against? You can handle your haters by:


1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
2. Having a purpose
3. By remembering what you have is by divine
prerogative and not human manipulation.


Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be
unfilled. A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to
be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

You will always be trying to get stuff because the more stuff you have will
improve what others think about you, but what others think will last as
long as the stuff last.


When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, "Don't look at
me...Look at who is in charge of me"...


Remember, it ain't about you, but it's all about God.

8:25 AM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

A Black Man
Current mood: inspired

Why is it that a Black Man can create a tiny piece called a filament (electric light – Lewis Latimer) that allows people to see in the dark?

But can't be seen fit to lead a country to the true light.

Why is it that a Black Man can create an instrument (clock – Benjamin Banneker) that all people use to tell time?

But people don't think it is time for him to run a country.

Why is it that a Black Man can design a place for the high authorities to meet in & a place for the president to live in (The Capital & the White House Phillip Reid (a slave) & Pierre L'Enfant)?

But not good enough to lead these meetings or live in himself.

Why is it that a Black Man was brilliant enough to do the first open heart surgery (Dr. Daniel Hale Williams) and show the world how to get and preserve plasma (Dr. Charles Drew)?

But not good enough to put a program in place where everyone can afford this surgery.

Why is it that a Black Man was creative enough to design an instrument (traffic light – Garrett Morgan) to bring multiple people (traffic) to a halt?

But not seen creative enough to design a plan to bring all this unnecessary and worthless fighting between countries.

Why is it that a Black Man could create the soles (shoes – Jan Matzeliger) that people walk on everyday?

But not seen good enough to fill the shoes of a bad president.

Why is it that a Black Man was smart enough & brave enough to teach himself (Fredrick Douglas &Thomas Fuller - both slaves) and others how to read, write and/or calculate math?

But not seen smart enough and bold enough to calculate a platform to be President to a country that sure needs another first by us.

So you see, my Brothers and Sisters, what I am saying is let us not forgot our past, which led us to our present and can definitely be the backbone to our future. We were good enough, smart enough, creative enough, and bold enough then, so lets all give Obama the chance to show that we are still these things and more. We all are as strong as our weakest link, so don't be that weak link that denies our people that chance to show we still can OVERCOME & BE THE FIRST!



Food for thought!

11:56 AM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Picnic or Barbecue
Current mood: rebellious

There are still a few more days left in this Black History Month, but some things are never too late to learn. I found this to be very interesting and one of those things. How many times have we all suggested that we go on a "PICNIC?" I have done it myself, but after reading this I will never make this reference again.


Picnic vs. Barbecue

"Davis, William C," wrote something to think about.

A Little known Black History Fact. This information can also be found in the African American Archives at the Smithsonian Institute. Although not taught in American learning institutions and literature, it is noted in most Black history professional circles and literature, that the origin of the term "picnic" derives from the acts of lynching African -Americans.


The word "picnic" is rooted from the whole theme of "Pick A Nigger." This is where individuals would "pic" a Black person to lynch and make this into a family gathering.


There would be music and a "picnic" ("Nic") being the White acronym for "nigger.") Scenes of this were depicted in the movie "Rosewood." We should choose to use the word "Barbecue" or outing instead of the word "picnic" .


P.S. Please, let's not continue to use this term. It is a negative reference to the darkest period of our existence in this country. Pass this knowledge on. We cannot know where we are going unless we know where we came from.

6:46 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Lord, Why Did You Make Me Black?
Current mood: happy

This is something else to ponder during Black History Month. It is a bit deep so take your time.



Lord, Why did you make me Black?


Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ?...
Lord .... Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes, of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness, of tired beaten streets...

Why did you give me thick lips, a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone who receives the hated stare?


Black is the color of the bruised eye when someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness, black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick, my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown, and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me and not know the person within?

Black is what people are "Labeled" when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me, and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like my skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think it's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creation and make everyone the same?


GOD's Reply:

Why did I make you black?

Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal from which beautiful diamonds are formed... I made you in the color of oil, the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil that grows the food you need... Your color is the same as the black stallion and
panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow can be found throughout every nation... When all these colors are blended, you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool, such a beautiful creature is he... I am the shepherd who watches them, I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky, I put star glitter in your eyes... There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds from the hurricanes I create in September... I made your lips so full and thick, so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong, your bone structure thick to withstand the
burden of time... The reflection you see in the mirror, that image that looks back,..that is MINE!

So get off your knees, look in the mirror and tell me what you see? I didn't make you in the image of darkness... I made you in the image of ME!

12:02 PM - 14 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment