It’s official!

Hey, we officially are moved into our new apartment, but it looks like a bomb exploded in there since we've moved stuff up from Texas.  Also, I've come to the realization that the wedding is much closer than I had expected, so I'm probably going to be pretty stressed for a while.  I hope you all are enjoying things as much as I am!

8:19 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Finally the last update!
Current mood: tired
Category: Life

As some of you know, I have not been functioning well lately. I've been trying to work around it, but it got the best of me today. I've been having problems with my joints where I lose strength in my all my joints, especially the arms and legs, and I've been trying to cope. I've started seeing a chiropractor three days a week for only $35 a week, and I saw my family doctor about a week ago. He gave me Naproxin (prescription strength Alieve) to take to see if it was a virus and cleared itself up in a matter of two weeks. Tomorrow will start week two. I had a concert Saturday night, and right before the concert my right arm started having tremors; with a little massage, it stopped in time for the concert, and I ran on endorphins the rest of the time. Today, however, I could hardly make it through an hour long church service while sitting the whole time except for communion, and was wheeled out and driven home by another member. It hurt so bad at that point that I was literally sobbing in my pew before getting wheeled away. My sister told me I had to go to the ER, and that she'd inflict physical pain on me if I fought her and didn't go, but because my parents are helping pay for the costs, I didn't fight. After a LLLOOOOOONNNGGG night in the ER, my current condition is this: My blood is normal except for a low red blood cell count and a high disemination level (?- I think that's what it's called- it's how long it takes the red blood cells to fall to the bottom of the tube- normal is no more than 20, but mine is 25). The doctor thinks it is rheumatoid arthritis and has referred me to a rheumatologist in Dearborn. I'm also on steroids and naproxin still at this point. I have a doctor who looks at patients who do not have insurance coming to my house tomorrow, and I have to meet with the rhumatologist and pick up the steroids prescription. I don't think I can make it tomorrow, especially because of the difficulty of driving, and if I don't have the steroids, I think I'll need a wheelchair, but without the steroids, I can't push myself in the wheelchair. I am getting random pain bursts and muscle weakness, and it feels like what it felt like when they first shot the steroids in my shoulder. Well I'm in enough pain right now; no need to add myspace crap to it, too. I love you all; thanks for the support and prayers!

12:31 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

A new game.

This is called, What's Wrong With Bonnie?

My back hurts, my legs hurt, I get nauseous, I have shortness of breath, and my moveable body parts get numb/tingly.

So far closest guess is cyatosis.

My doctor said it was a virus.

Viruses don't cause you to not physically get out of bed though, right?

7:45 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Who would be your candidate?

	Dennis Kucinich Score: 36	Agree Iraq Immigration Taxes Health Care Social Security Line-Item Veto Energy Death Penalty	Disagree Stem-Cell Research Abortion Marriage
-- Take the Quiz! --

12:31 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

A leaf.

A leaf! I don't get it either. Sarah Storti, a story for you. Jeremy- use your imagination and you'll figure it out without me having to explain. And don't think I'll ever actually tell. Let's just leave it at that.

10:51 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Great.

After reviewing our monthly budget, it appears as though we'd only be able to afford a $200/month apartment. Pretty bad. Well, that's life for ya.

9:12 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Update on Grant

I realized I never updated after the last Grant update. For those of you following his story, you should get a facebook account for free and add the group Grant Needs Your Prayers for updates because I'm obviously not doing a great job. Anyway, he's not completely conscious, but he is with it enough to know certain people, to move his right arm, to say Ah, Oh, Mmm, and Mah. He gives thumbs up and peace signs on command, and plays with a tennis ball that he is trying to throw. He's showing emotion and showing that he can understand conversations, as well. He's recovering quite well, but he could still use all the prayers we can offer. Thanks for your support in this.

10:32 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Funny, but wrong.

So, I just went to type the Darfur rally into my calendar (Oct. 6 at the capitol building in Lansing), but I had my fingers off just a small bit. I was one letter too far east for the d, got the a and the r, then was one letter too far northeast for the other f. I'm all f'd up, I guess... haha. Anyway, for those of you who are directionally challenged, I accidentally started typing it in as Fart. I chuckled quite a bit silently then felt bad. But I'm still chuckling silently as I type. Then feeling bad again. Hah. Shh...

10:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Update

For those who may be following Grant's progress (the one I mentioned in the last blog), apparently he didn't have anything wrong with his shoulder, just the punctured lung and the brain issues. Though there is no improvement on the brain swelling decreasing, they think he is stable enough to be moved home. Keep praying.

4:04 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Thoughts on life.

Though I am not really close to Grant, his situation is deeply affecting me right now. I still pray for him and hope he fully recovers, and I still pray for his family, but I'm still in shock that it even happened. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about: On the way home from a youth camp, a very talented and very kind fellow WSU music student, Grant Anderson, rear ended a truck and sustained closed head injuries on Thursday. The bleeding was spreading, and he saw a neurosurgeon who said bluntly that he didn't think Grant would make it. He had large contusions to the right side of his brain, which they think at best will cause paralysis in the left side of his body. There was so much swelling that the ventricles (the connections between the two halves of the brain) had been squeezed shut, so they couldn't do surgery right away. He also had lost a large portion (or all, not sure) of his basal ganglia (responsible for perceptual capabilities, like knowing your arm is extending and that you are sitting in a room etc.) His vision is in concern, but they are not sure if that is because the left side of his face was fractured and he had a large rocky like bruise all over his left eye, or if it was because his visual cortex had been harmed. There had also been bruising on both halves of the prefrontal cortex (responsible for inhibitory responses and decision making) that was spreading. They also believe he suffered from the equivalent of Shaken Baby Syndrome where the brain has detached from the skull due to the impact. On top of all that, he also had a partially collapsed lung, a shattered shoulder and various other scratches and bruises. They have given him MRIs and have done X-Rays on his neck. Over time the swelling had actually gotten worse, and they successfully did a Decompression Craniectomy where they remove a section of the skull in order to relieve pressure, and some of the brain expanded when they did it, but it did relieve pressure. He's trying to breath on his own, but he has the machinery to help if need be. Last I heard, he's going in for another cat scan. He's remained alive and stable for two and a half days now, which is a miracle in and of itself.

It really kills me that somebody with such talent, such potential, and such drive is just laying in a hospital bed right now not even conscious, relying on the prayers and hopes of other people that God will give him the strength to pull him through this whole ordeal. As I read update after update, I couldn't help but cry when I saw the outpour of love and support coming from everybody. The part that really got to me was the part about how when the people who would stop by began singing and making music his heart rate would increase, like he could hear them and just wanted to sing along. And knowing that two other fellow WSU music students were having a prayer vigil for him tonight and I couldn't go because of all things- rehearsal, but the fact that they would organize it gets to me. I just think it's so cool.

It stops to feel real to me after a while though, knowing that somebody my age is suffering like this. I just get sick to my stomach knowing that tomorrow really could be my last day. I don't think I've told everybody how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I don't think I've treated everybody the way I would wish I could. I don't think I've made enough time to spend with my nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, parents, aunt and great aunts, inlaws, cat, etc. I don't think I've accomplished anything completely worth while yet, though I am working towards it. I don't think I've tied up all my loose ends. I haven't loved they way I ought and haven't found the things I've sought. I haven't laughed as much as I've wanted to; haven't lived as much as I've wanted to; haven't seen as much as I've wanted to. However, I am thankful for the life I have been able to lead- it was by no means a waste, but I feel like by no means am I 100% ready to leave this world.

Though I do hope and pray for a speedy full recovery for Grant, selfishly I thank God that it wasn't me in the accident and thank Grant for reminding me how precious each day is. Grant, I hope you get well soon; I hope to see you walking up the steps to the enterance of Old Main before too long, coming back to school to use your piano, voice, teaching, and composition skills just as before. There's a whole bunch of us pulling for you, so don't give up the fight. Much love.

1:12 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment